Okay. One more time. I'm determined to make this work. As a reminder, what you need to do is answer all of Akinator's questions honestly, but if he asks you whether or not you're fictional, say that you are.

It's that last bit we've been struggling with a bit. But let's see how things go today.

Does your character have a gaming channel? Yes.

Is your character a female? Feeeee-males. No.

Is your character hated by Patty Bladell? Who? No. I don't think?

Does your character perform surgery? No, he is terrified of the very concept.

Does your character play on the Dream SMP? I don't know what that is. No.

Is your character part of a militia group? This is going to some strange places. No.

Does your character play Roblox? Nope.

Does your character watch you sleep? No. My cat does, though.

Is your character American? Certainly not.

Is your character British? Absolutely!

Is your character known for Minecraft gaming? No.

Does your character have paws? Are you calling me a furry? Because that's fine if so, but no.

Is your character in the Sidemen Crew? We've been here before, and I still don't know what that is.

Is your character from the Portal game series? Nope.

Does your character live with their parents? I feel we're having to be very negative with these answers, but no.

Does your character have ginger hair? Nope.

Does your character have any children? Not to my knowledge, eyyy… I mean, no.

Does your character play Fortnite? Absolutely definitely not.

Does your character play FIFA? See above.

Does your character play horror games? Yes, definitely!

Is your character part of a two-person team? I don't think my wife counts, so no.

Does your character plant bombs? It's never come to that, no.

Is your character known for reading a lot? I guess?

Is your character a member of a 4-person band? No.

Is your character a haniwa statue? Yes, that would have been my next question too. No!

Are you MessYourself? What a charming name that individual has. But no, I am not.

Is your character chubby? Exceedingly so.

Does your character have a daughter? No.

Does your character have over 1,000,000 YouTube subscribers? No, but we broke the big 1K the other day!

Does your character have over 1,000 subscribers? Yes!

Does your character have a mythical gun? No.

Does your character need glasses? Yes! One step forward, several hundred back.

Is your character bald? Quite the opposite.

Is your character linked with journalism? For my sins, yes.

Is your character bearded? Relevant questions? What is this? Yes!

Is your character part of a group? No.

Is your character linked with the horror genre? Probably not "linked" as such, but I do like it.

Does your character use a ouija board? No, but I'm curious to.

Is your character internationally famous? I mean… some people in other countries know who I am, but I wouldn't say "famous". Probably not.

Does your character have metal on their face? No. (checks) No.

Does your character collect toys? To a certain extent, I guess.

Is your character a web critic? I think I qualify for that.

Are you Jim Sterling? Oh Jesus Christ no.

I'm not sure if I want to continue after this… but let's keep going.

Is your character part of the Hype House? I have no idea what any of these things you keep asking are.

Does your character have curly hair? No.

Does your character have a Minecraft series? There's more to life (and YouTube) than Minecraft!

Is your character part of the Night's Watch? No.

Is your character the ruler of their own kingdom? No, between my wife and my cats they have rulership pretty sewn up.

Does your character wear a blue hat? I do not wear any hat.

Is your character almost bald? I shaved my head, but I don't think that counts.

Does your character live in England? Yes!

Does your character have a disease? Nice follow-up. Not to my knowledge.

Is your character into politics? Fuck no.

Did your character steal a red velvet cake? No, red velvet cake is one of the worst cakes.

Is your character associated with Gravitonium? To reiterate: I don't know what any of these references are.

Does your character work with a group? I was about to say this has been asked several times already, but actually "work with a group" is probably more accurate than "part of a group" (in the performance sense). So I'll say "yes".

Is your character from the Yogscast? I've heard of that one! No.

Does your character wear glasses? You already know the answer to this one.

Does your character have a younger brother? No, an older one.

Is your character a philosopher? No, my brief study of him at university made me want to punch Martin Heidegger right in the balls.

Is your character fat? Don't hold back, Akinator. Yes.

Does your character have more than 50,000 YouTube subscribers? No.

Does your character have brothers or sisters? Yes.

Does your character live with his girlfriend? Does "wife" still count as "girlfriend"? I'll say "yes" for the purposes of this.

Is your character's fame linked with football? Absolutely positively not.

Is your character associated with Stampy Cat? Whatty cat?

Does your character have a northern accent? Good Lord, no.

Is your character overweight? I GET IT

Are you Tbone? Who the hell is Tbo– you know what, never mind.

I guess I should stop telling Akinator that I have a gaming channel if I want this to work! Or maybe I'm just so thoroughly unremarkable that I'm not like anyone interesting whatsoever. Who knows?

As I noted on my piece on Retrounite today, my little Anbernic handheld is getting a lot of use, simply because it provides such easy access to so many games I love.

This evening I've been playing Enduro for Atari 2600, which is one of my favourite games on the platform. Since I didn't have a 2600 growing up, I discovered this game relatively late. I did play its successor The Great American Cross-Country Road Race, though, but I actually think I prefer Enduro.

For the unfamiliar, Enduro is a racer where your aim is to overtake a set number of cars over the course of a series of virtual days. If you meet your quota by sunrise the following day, you keep going and get a new quota; fail and your race is over. Your final score is how many "miles" you managed to cover during the race.

At heart, Enduro is very simple. Opponent cars only appear in one of three lanes on the road, so it's mostly about dodging them. Where things get interesting is how the environment changes as each "day" passes. You start in the daytime, then things get bizarrely, suddenly snowy, then the sun sets, then you drive through the night, then the morning fog, and finally the dawn.

It's a great example of Activision at its best, pushing the 2600 further than anyone out there and producing games that played great as well as being technically impressive. Now what are they known for? Uh, probably best not to get into that right now, huh…

Made it through the busy weekend, and I lasted until about 11pm before autistic brain decided "nope, that's enough, time to go hide and play video games", which is not a bad record for me. I also discovered that I am still able to strawpedo an alcopop better than anyone else I know, so that made me feel "young" again, if only for a moment.

As you have hopefully seen on the YouTube channel by now, there will be no Atari A to Z or Retro Select videos this week — I'm taking a week off just so I'm not trying to cram everything in and stress myself out. I've just learned my brother is over visiting from the US next weekend, too, but by taking this week off that gives me some time to casually make a few vids during the week (as opposed to next weekend) and actually publish them next week, so that all works out just fine.

I enjoyed making the scrolly text message for the announcement video, and am satisfied that it came out at over 16 minutes in total. It took up a bit over 2K of memory, which is not much in scrolltext terms — certainly a long way off the B.I.G. Demo's 41K — but it was enjoyable to write, and as I was typing it I could absolutely feel my inner demoscener wanting to make things as elaborately wordy as possible. Or perhaps that's just the way I write anyway. Apparently I missed my calling writing '80s and '90s scrolltexts.

There will be some mild chaos in the house this week due to us taking delivery of a brand new bed and Andie taking the opportunity to refloor the bedroom (we're putting laminate floor in, in keeping with most of the rest of the house) but other than that, nothing super out of the ordinary happening, I don't think — aside from the visitors from this weekend dropping by for Thanksgiving on Thursday. We don't generally do Thanksgiving here, but since one of the visitors is from the States, it seems like a good opportunity to pig out on turkey and good food, though I will still have to work when I'm not eating lunch!

Right then, that's that for now. I'm going to go and eat Doritos and play Lufia 2 before falling asleep. That sounds like a fine way to finish the weekend.

Just a reminder to those of you who care: I have a pretty busy weekend ahead with visitors from overseas (and, err, Portsmouth) so I'm not going to stress myself out by trying to squeeze in making some videos — I'm just going to take the next week off.

Atari A to Z Flashback will be tomorrow as usual, and I'll post an "announcement" video on Sunday or Monday explaining the situation. Then we'll be back to normal the following week!

I'll likely still find some time to do something for the Rice Digital channel at some point since we're specifically trying to grow that a bit, but as for my own personal projects, the most sensible thing to do for the moment is to take a break. The same goes for the Atelier MegaFeature — I'm sorry to leave it quiet for a few weeks, but since I've been prioritising Blue Reflection: Second Light (since I really want to post some sort of deep-dive article on that over on Rice before the year is out) I haven't had time to play Lydie & Suelle at all.

No rush though, after all; Lydie & Suelle will still be there when my time with Blue Reflection is over — not that I'm in any hurry for that to happen with how much I adore that game — and if I time things right, I'll be wrapping up the Atelier MegaFeature just in time for Atelier Sophie 2 to come out. Woohoo!

Anyway, that's the immediately impending situation. I'm sure you'll all cope without my mellifluous voice caressing your shell-likes for the next week, but for those of you who really can't live without me, I have about a bazillion videos in the back catalogue now. Have you watched them all?

Oh, if you can get me seven more subscribers while you're on, too, that'd be awesome. Anyway. Happy weekend! Good night!

Okay. One more time. One more time. Bring it on, Akinator. (See yesterday's post if you have no idea what's going on.)

Is your character from your family? Goddammit. Yes.

Does your character go to school? No.

Does your character wear woman's clothing? Only in video games. No.

Can your character be kept as a pet? No. I don't think.

Is your character known for being a bad programmer? I am a bad programmer, but I don't think I'm known for it. I'll go with "probably".

Is your character associated with Microsoft? No.

Has your character been in love with your mother? I'm going to give this question the benefit of the doubt and assume this is leading towards "your dad", but either way… no.

Has your character ever been married? Yes. Twice! Second still ongoing, I hasten to add.

Has your character been showcased on DanandPhilGames? I don't know what that is. No.

Does your character have a grandchild? No, and never will. (By choice, I should probably say.)

Is your character an aunt or uncle? Yes.

Have you ever fallen in love with your character? Definitely not.

Does your character speak like an adult? He tries to. Probably.

Does your character play with a frisbee? No. Used to when I was a kid.

Does your character have over 5 million YouTube subscribers? Always comes back to the bloody numbers, doesn't it? No.

Does your character have holes in their hands? Is your character Jesus? No.

Does your character use a portal to travel between two countries? This is taking a strange turn. No.

Is your character famous for being clumsy? No. I am though. I hide it well for the most part, except at home.

Has your character have a song with over 100 million views [sic]? No.

Was your character discovered by Dr. Dre? No. I feel we're getting further and further away from the answer here.

Does your character explore Scotland? I've been to Scotland, but I wouldn't say it's what I do, no.

Is your character married to a star? She's my shining star or something… but no.

Do you like your character as someone who is more than just a friend? Do you like yourself more than just a friend? I guess yes?

Did your character give birth to you? Not to my knowledge.

Did your character receive a text from A? What? No.

Are you your uncle? No. This really isn't working, is it?

Does your character have any children? No.

Does your character have the same birthday as you? Yes. Uh-oh.

Do you and your character share the same DNA? Sigh. Here we go. Yes.

Does your character have nipples? Oooh, out of leftfield. Good job. Yes.

Has your character been in a video with Joey Graceffa? Who? No.

Does your character have only one parent who is from your family? No.

Is your character older than 17? Yes.

Are you your alter-ego? FUCK

Apparently I am destined to never be a fictional character. Oh well. I guess that's how life goes.

Sure, why not. Let's do it together!

Is your character a YouTuber? Yes, I guess I count.

Is your character a girl? Nope, despite the fact I habitually play girls in games with custom characters.

Is your character known for Minecraft gaming? Nope. I want to like Minecraft, but I think I just… don't. Fun to watch other people struggle, though.

Is your character American? No.

Is your character British? Yessir.

Is your character in the Sidemen Crew? I don't know what that is. No.

Does your character live with their parents? No.

Does your character have any children? No.

Is your character from Creeped Out? No.

Is your character some sort of gatekeeper? To my knowledge, I've never excluded anyone from my passions, so probably not.

Does your character have a gaming channel? Yes!

Does your character protect children? Absolutely not.

Is your character from The Girl on the Train? No.

Does your character play Fortnite? Absolutely not.

Does your character play FIFA? Definitively not.

Does your character represent the darkness of another? Not to my knowledge.

Does your character use swear words? Fuck yes.

Does your character have over 1,000,000 YouTube subscribers? No. Closing in on 1,000 though!

Does your character write or compose songs? I have on occasion, so I guess yes here.

Does your character fly in his underwear? I have been known to, so yes.

Is your character obsessed with skin? What the fuck, man. No.

Has your character played in a TV show that takes place on a beach? No.

Does your character play Minecraft? We've been over this. No.

Is your character a singer, or does he work with a singer as a songwriter, producer, musician…? No.

Does your character drink Red Bull frequently? Yes. Although not as much as I used to while I'm dieting.

Is your character Aarava? Aarava is an F1 video game YouTuber, from the look of things. No.

Does your character play on a PlayStation 4? Yes.

Is your character linked with cars? No.

Is your character neutral about everything? No.

Is your character from Dishonored? No.

Has your character ever broken your heart? Have I broken my own heart? Almost certainly. Yes.

Does your character personally know you? Intimately.

Do you and your character share the same DNA? Yes.

Is your character your alter-ego? I guess that's probably as close as we're going to get. I suspect the "YouTuber" question eliminated the possibility of most fictional characters.

Let's try again!

Does your character personally know you? Yes.

Do you and your character live in the same house? Yes.

Is your character older than 17? Yes.

Does your character have the same birthday as you? Yes.

Does your character have more than two eyes? No.

Does your character live in Bingham? No.

Does your character send messages? Yes.

Does your character drink Red Bull frequently? See above.

Is your character your alter-ego? Goddammit, Akinator. I'm going to bed.

I had good intentions this evening — I was going to spend some time recording an Atari A to Z for tomorrow, but for some reason I was overcome with a pretty major panic attack and wasn't really able to muster up the courage and/or strength to do anything else tonight. I should have time to get something done tomorrow, but can't guarantee Atari A to Z will be "on time", as it were.

I hate having panic attacks. They're one of the least useful things your brain can do, since they make you unproductive for a significant amount of time, they make you irrational, and, as the name suggests, they make you feel absolutely terrified at absolutely nothing whatsoever. I had no reason whatsoever to be panicking this evening, and yet here we are. I did manage to haul myself out of the bed I'd been "hiding" (and napping) in to write this and get a few things done before going to bed "properly", but I'm still feeling exceedingly jittery right now, and it's not pleasant.

Think I'm going to treat myself to a nice soothing hot chocolate, settle down with a retro game or two on the new handheld and just try to chill before sleeping properly. Hope your evening/day has been better than mine!

Just to mention to those of you who haven't seen the Community post on YouTube: this weekend has been a tad hectic with some minor renovations and deep cleaning ahead of some overseas visitors next weekend, so I haven't had time to record any Atari A to Z or Retro Select this week. I'm gonna try to get some stuff done in the week but can't promise anything!

On the other hand, I can share my newly tidied and sparkling clean living room/game room/recording studio/office 🙂

Best thing about doing this is that we've freed up a bunch of space, so pretty much every system's library has a bit of room to expand. Much needed for the Switch in particular, which was starting to get a bit crowded!

Anyway, that took like our whole day to get sorted out, so I haven't had the time or energy to record anything other than stuff for work tomorrow — apologies! As I say, I'll try and record some bits and bobs in the week but I didn't want to half-arse things while I was knackered this evening.

Next weekend may also be disrupted due to the aforementioned visitors but hopefully things will be back to normal from thereon! Thank you for your understanding!

I got my Anbernic RG351V today, and after just a few minutes of play with it I'm very much on board. It took a bit of fiddling to get it up and running — primarily because it demands SD cards be in FAT32 format and Windows doesn't like formatting large cards in FAT32 by default, so you have to use a third-party format utility — but now that it's working it's going to be a wonderful little retro device to have on hand… at all times, basically.

I haven't done a lot with it as yet, but I already like some of the features it has enabled by default. Of particular note is its simulated Game Boy screen — I'm not normally a fan of fake scanlines at all because I tend to think they look tacky and, well, fake… but the "dot matrix" effect this thing applies to Game Boy titles by default looks incredibly authentic. Except for the fact you can actually see the thing in low light, of course.

It claims to support N64 games but I tried one earlier and it really doesn't… I mean, it loads them up and all, but performance is dogshit. I'm not too bothered, though — what this device does offer is the ability to play a whole load of excellent retro titles from over the years (up to about PS1 and PSP comfortably) with minimal fuss, with a nice screen, good controls, all in a pleasingly nostalgic Game Boy-style form factor.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not abandoning the Evercade or anything — hell, most of the Evercade devs and testers have something along the lines of one of these things — but having a huge library of retro stuff (much of which is in licensing hell, and thus unlikely to ever hit Evercade) is going to be an immensely valuable, wonderful thing, particularly if and when we all start going out and about a bit more.

I'll be doing a more substantial writeup on the device for Retrounite in the week, but suffice to say for now if you've been considering one of these things, it's definitely worth it — so long as you don't mind a little bit of faffing around when you're first getting it set up. But let's be honest; most of us here are retro gamers, and faffing around comes with the territory, whether you're working with original hardware or emulators!

Right, I'm off to play Alleyway in bed.

Remember what I talked about yesterday, where things just disappear from your memory and you're occasionally reminded of what a seemingly "major" (relatively speaking) part of your overall life experience they were at the time? Well, today I had what kind of feels like the "opposite" experience to that, for want of a better word.

For years now, I've had this sort of ideal "first level music" for a shoot 'em up in my head. I knew it was from something I played relatively briefly back in the day, but I could not for the life of me remember what it was from. For the longest time, I was absolutely convinced it was the music from Thunder Force IV's watery level, but while that is also a cool piece of music, it wasn't that.

I was convinced it was a Mega Drive piece, though. Was it Arrow Flash? Nope. Was it Burning Force? Nope, 'cause I never played that one back in the day — though I've discovered an undying love for it (and its first level music) ever since. Was it Thunder Force III? Nope.

Turns out it was Gynoug. And the reason I discovered this? Completely accidentally. I got a review code for the new Switch port of Gynoug this week and fired it up for the first time. As soon as the first level's music started my brain went "hang on a minute", and once the main theme kicked in… yep, that was it. That was absolutely the piece of music that's been stuck in my head for 20+ years, with absolutely no clue prior to today as to what it might have been.

I don't even really remember playing Gynoug that much as a kid. I didn't have my own Mega Drive — the only time I got to play one was either when I was visiting my friend Ed or when my brother came home from his games magazine jobs with a Mega Drive and/or Super NES in his backpack. So I would have only had the chance to play this game for a bit over the course of a single weekend at most. And yet that single piece of music stuck with me for all this time.

Well, I mean, the music stuck with me, even if the game didn't. Funny how the brain works, isn't it?