#oneaday Day 794: Motivational music

It will probably not surprise you to learn that I listen to a lot of video game music. Not only that, but I use video game music as an accompaniment to things that are not video games — most notably, exercise.

On my walks on the Common, I have been rediscovering some of the playlists I made many years ago, and I thought today I would share some of my favourite motivational tracks with you. I highly recommend adding these to an exercise playlist if you're struggling with motivation!

Bein' Friends (Super Smash Bros./Earthbound Beginnings)

I wouldn't say I'm the biggest fan of Super Smash Bros. — though I did make an honest attempt to get into it with Ultimate — but I do absolutely love this theme from the "Onett" stage. It's a good one to kick off a workout with because it combines drama, whimsy and triumph into a delightful tune that always makes me smile.

The Elite (Split/Second)

Here's another great one to kick off a workout with, because the beginning just builds anticipation — a fine accompaniment to a warmup, or just as you're getting into the swing of things. Then the main part of the track kicks in and you're ready to explode into action. And possibly have a near-uncontrollable hankering to play Split/Second again. Man, that game was good — and criminally mishandled in the marketplace.

Perfection! Space Elementary School Band! (Space Channel 5 Part 2)

Man, I could pick any number of tracks from both Space Channel 5 games to put in here, but I'll try and restrain myself… a bit. Anyway, this track demonstrates one of the things I love about the soundtrack as a whole: the way that each section starts in a familiar way before branching off into something completely different and sometimes unexpected. I love the high tempo of this one — it's a favourite part of the game, and recalling my enjoyment of the sequence that this track accompanies is a powerful motivating factor, for sure.

Riders of the Light (Bayonetta)

Fly Me To The Moon is, understandably, the Bayonetta theme that gets all the attention, but I always thought this theme was just… better, generally. I know I certainly got absolutely hyped up any time a battle was accompanied by it — and it works great for motivational music, too. My favourite bit is that piano-heavy bit after the initial section. Such delicious chord sequences.

Be The One (Trauma Team)

Finale music is, as you might expect, absolutely great for motivation. This one, from the beginning of the buildup to the grand finale of Atlus' incredible game, Trauma Team, is a good example. We're not taking things too over the top, but we are making it feel like we should be taking whatever we are doing seriously. It doesn't matter if you're out for a walk in the park, putting up shelves or cutting into living flesh (with the flesh owner's consent, of course) — this is music to get you In The Mood to… well, Be The One.

Sins of the Father (Beyond Good and Evil)

Man, what a great game Beyond Good and Evil was. We're never, ever going to see that sequel. But that doesn't matter, because you can put this banging track on when you're doing exercise and you'll feel like you can do anything! Particularly during the bit with the dramatic buildup and the creepy chanting. This track has a few good sections that feels like they're good for "exploding" into action. You'll know them when you hear them.

A Toccata into Blood-Soaked Darkness (Castlevania: Curse of Darkness)

Hitting a wall? What you need is Castlevania! The combination of overdramatic orchestra and Gothic-infused rock and electronic rhythms has always got me fired up, and this particular track is a personal favourite of mine — even though it hails from one of the Castlevania games that I haven't actually played. (PAL copies of this one are pricy today.)

Got all that? Should get you through an evening's workout. And if it doesn't, blast out One-Winged Angel to finish off your session. That'll sort you right out.

Want to read my thoughts on various video games, visual novels and other popular culture things? Stop by MoeGamer.net, my site for all things fun where I am generally a lot more cheerful. And if you fancy watching some vids on classic games, drop by my YouTube channel.

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#oneaday Day 793: The Web is so broken even offline copies of pages are fucked up

Hey! Did you know the Internet is so broken that even a locally saved copy of something can be unreadable without a bunch of annoying "tinkering"? 'Cause it fuckin' is.

Prior to USgamer's closure in 2020, I backed up most of my articles that I could find and/or remember. I saved them as local copies on my computer, with the intention of gradually republishing at least some of them on MoeGamer — a process I started but still need to get back to. (Some of these articles found their way over to VG247, but they're buried in an archive and not exactly what I'd call "easily accessible" today, so I have absolutely no qualms in taking these pieces and republishing them myself.)

Anyway, after my enforced reinstall of Windows a little while ago, it suddenly occurred to me that I might have lost these locally saved archives. Thankfully, I had apparently had the foresight to back them up to my Google Drive (I know I should get off Google, I know) and thus I was able to recover them. After extracting them to my Documents folder, I thought I'd have a browse through a few to remind myself of what I'd written back then.

The first one I attempted to open — a review of Imageepoch's Time and Eternity, a game which I liked but none of the rest of the Internet did — opened for a split-second before automatically redirecting to some website I'd never heard of: "spl.zeotap.com", which is apparently an "AI-powered Customer Data Platform that helps enterprises unlock the true value of their customer data". Of course it's a fucking AI thing now — though I don't know what it was back in 2020 when I archived these pages. Whatever it was, it is broken, because every time I open certain articles from my locally saved archive, they immediately redirect to part of "ZeoTap"'s website that no longer exists, with no way of telling the browser to go "Back" and just look at the fucking page I was trying to look at in the first place.

Thankfully, this isn't the case for everything in the archive — and I've determined that you can tell which ones will fail by the file size of the main article HTML file — and I also found a workaround using Firefox's Developer Tools. Unfortunately it's not a workaround I can just apply globally; I have to do it every time I open one of these bastard articles. So for the sake of my future self, I'm going to recount the process here, just in case:

Open a new tab
Open the Developer Tools console
Go to the Network tab of Developer Tools
Drag the problematic HTML file into the browser window
Scroll through the stuff in the Network tab that appears until you find the problematic ZeoTap URL request
Right click on it and choose "Block URL"
Drag the HTML file into the browser window again
The article should now appear, and you can close Developer Tools to read it
You have to repeat this process each time you open a new tab or browser window

This is fucking annoying though, isn't it? I would have thought that the entire point of saving a web page locally would be so that you could, you know, look at it locally without having to be online — or, indeed, dependent on URLs that no longer resolve correctly. But apparently at some point in USgamer's history, certain pages on its site became so dependent on whatever the fuck this ZeoTap thing is that it became impossible to just look at the damned pages. And that dependency is somehow maintained when you save the page for offline viewing.

Well, you might think, surely it's just a matter of looking at the page source, searching for that troublesome URL and removing the bit of the HTML file that references it? You'd think, wouldn't you?! But there are so many fucking Javascript files, so many CSS files, so many external HTML files that are loaded when just looking at one sodding page, which, I'll remind you, is saved locally, that it's impossible to track down which one of these myriad dependencies is causing the problem!

I remember a while back, someone posted on Bluesky that they looked at a page on somewhere like PC Gamer, and before the article had appeared the browser had downloaded something like 20MB of… stuff to their computer. I think back to the good old, bad old days of dial-up, when downloading a single megabyte of anything took upwards of an hour at the best of times, and wonder exactly how we let the Web become such an unwieldy mess.

(Ads and tracking is the answer, of course. But you knew that.)

Anyway, thankfully I have at least found a workaround that appears to work for the articles that are affected, so I guess I will prioritise getting those pieces onto MoeGamer sooner rather than later!

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#oneaday Day 792: A goal, complete

Well, I've done it. I've finally gone and played through all three of Quintet's "Heaven and Earth" games on Super NES: Soul Blazer, Illusion of Time and Terranigma. (I've also played through The Granstream Saga twice in my life, as well as Actraiser once, as both of those games can be argued to be tangentially linked to the core "trilogy" as much as they're linked to one another directly.)

This is a small thing and some might argue "beating three video games" as not being something particularly worth crowing about, but I am seeing this as a victory for several reasons.

Firstly, it's something I've been "meaning to get around to" for literally years at this point, and have never just, y'know, made the time to do it. But with my lovely MiSTer Multisystem setup on my childhood CRT, it felt like the right time to give these games the time and attention they deserve. Because they're all really, really good! Even with Illusion of Time's absolutely dogshit English translation!

Secondly, one of the reasons I've been putting it off for so long is because I knew I wanted to write about each of these games as I played them, and I wanted to do each of them justice while I did so. Now I've written an article about each of them (with the exception of The Granstream Saga and Actraiser, which I will… contemplate doing in the near future) of about 3-4,000 words each, I am satisfied. I think I have done them justice. And I am glad I have finally taken the time to experience something that I was inadvertently keeping just out of arm's reach by myself. There was nothing stopping me playing these games at any time. I just didn't.

I suppose you can look on it as a sort of mental health issue. When you build something up in your brain to be somehow "important", it can start to seem further and further out of reach — particularly if, in your life generally, you are also pursuing far-off goals that will take a long time to accomplish. As such, you start thinking that you'll never get around to The Thing, because it has taken on such a scary amount of "importance" in your brain that you subconsciously start avoiding it so you don't have to face it directly.

I'm aware that this sounds stupid! We're talking about some video games that are commonly agreed to be very good, so why should I find myself not wanting to "face them"?

Well, that's the thing about mental health. It doesn't always make sense. It doesn't always make you behave rationally, or see things for what they really are. And that's why, at times like this, you need to celebrate the victories that you have achieved. Because if you can achieve victory over something that seemed like it was far off, but was actually relatively straightforward to accomplish when you get down to it, you can also achieve victory over those longer-term goals, as your brain has been treating them in almost the exact same way.

Since, as I've said, I have a bunch of my own long-term goals to accomplish — primarily with regard to my health, fitness and weight — thinking about things in these terms is immensely valuable. You wouldn't think that completing a 30 year old SNES game would provide motivation to better your life in general, would you? But that's what I'm feeling right now, and I'm not sure I've explained it 100% effectively. Regardless, that is what I'm feeling right now — and I'm going to do my best to ride that wave of motivation as far as I can.

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#oneaday Day 791: The better thing shouldn't be smaller

Dear reader, I'm sure you're familiar by now with the concept of "shrinkflation": the idea that, as time goes on, things get progressively more expensive and, roughly proportionately, progressively worse quality at the same time. If you've ever eaten something that promised the "Same Great Taste" only to discover that it was not, in fact, the Same Great Taste as the thing you used to like, you have probably encountered a form of this.

But there is another issue which I'm not sure is quite the same thing. It's definitely related, but I'm not sure it's exactly the same thing. It doesn't really matter. Anyway, what I'm talking about is the fact that Digestive biscuits that are more elaborate than "chocolate" are smaller than standard plain and chocolate Digestives.

I spotted this a while back with the caramel ones, which are very nice. I'm pretty certain they used to be the same size as a regular Digestive, but now their diameter is noticeably and significantly smaller.

Why is this? I suspect the answer is simple: to make the thing with the more elaborate recipe have the same number of calories as the old thing. Indeed, this is the case with both the caramel and the new "Jaffa Cake" Digestives (very disappointing, by the way — they might as well have just called these "Chocolate Orange" flavour, but then gullible idiots like me would probably be less likely to pick them up and go "ooh, Jaffa Cake Digestives, those sound nice" and buy them) and, looking on the McVities website, it is also true for the new "Seriously Chocolatey" variety, which is basically a chocolate digestive with a chocolate chip, cocoa-y biscuit instead of a regular Digestive. All of these varieties, along with the common-or-garden chocolate Digestive, have approximately 80 calories per biscuit.

If we look at the calories per 100g, the picture should become clearer. Regular-ass chocolate Digestives are 496 calories per 100g, caramel ones are… hang on a minute, 479? And the Jaffa Cake ones are 478?

This leads me to the conclusion that, presumably, the extra bit of filling in caramel and Jaffa Cake digestives makes them weigh a little more than a regular Digestive, hence their size has been reduced to compensate, and that, in turn, makes them the same number of calories per biscuit as a regular chocolate Digestive. Does that work? My maths isn't functional enough this evening to calculate if that makes sense.

But anyway! It's not the point! When I have a Digestive, I want it to be a honking great biscuit that is eminently suitable for dunking in a cup of hot liquid! Regular Digestives are just the right size for your average mug in that you can dunk them without there being a lot of clearance around the outside, making it less likely that you will accidentally drop the whole thing. The smaller ones are far too small for this purpose.

If the answer to this is some misguided attempt to make all Digestives equal in terms of calories and thus make people assume they are equally "healthy" — to that I say they are biscuits! Anyone eating a biscuit is not concerned with being healthy at that exact moment in time! Consequently, I also suggest that it is okay for a more elaborate biscuit to weigh a little more and have more calories than its more common counterpart! If you really want to have a biscuit and kid yourself that you're "being healthy", the Rich Teas — and, if you really hate yourself, Snack-a-Jacks — are right over there!

In a funny way, this reminds me of the time back when the iPad first launched, when "HD" versions of apps would cost £5 more because they had more pixels in them, despite being functionally (and often aesthetically) identical. It's all part of the tapestry of dark patterns that Capitalism™ uses to squeeze money out of us. And I should probably feel bad that it works on me.

Still, caramel Digestives are nice, even if the Jaffa Cake ones are a bit disappointing. Biscuits!

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#oneaday Day 790: Twinge

Last night, I thought, for a change, I would try using some kettlebells I bought ages ago to do some simple exercises. They are quite heavy kettlebells, because I originally bought them feeling like I should buy manly kettlebells, but have just never really got around to using them all that much.

I did a brief (about 15 minute) workout using them to do a few different things, including some curls, goblet squats, lunges, twists and shoulder presses, and dear Lord am I feeling the regret today. I think I might have overdone it a bit, given that both my arms and legs have been feeling a bit wobbly today and my left buttock is experiencing a sensation I can only describe as "repeated twinges" — and I was exhausted when I woke up this morning.

I don't think it's a bad idea to do some mild weight training at home, though, so I've ordered myself a set of wuss-ass pastel-coloured dumbbells for girls in an attempt to shame myself into being capable of doing something more manly. Or, more accurately — because I hope I have made abundantly clear on numerous occasions, I have absolutely zero desire to appear particularly "manly" — I have purchased myself some relatively low-impact exercise equipment which is probably what my body, in its current state, needs to get kickstarted into activity again. Big metal dumbbells can come later. Much later.

The walks around the Common are good, and I think they are having an effect. On past occasions when I have done exercise, though, I've found that complementing the cardio with some solid weight training of some description (usually on Machines if I've been a gym member at the time) tends to have an actually quite noticeable effect, particularly on my arms, and I think it's probably time to start incorporating that side of things again if I actually want to take this seriously.

And I kind of do! I mean, I know I want (and need) to lose weight, but for some reason I'm feeling oddly… enthused about the prospect of Getting Some Fitness Done at the moment. The last time I felt like this I was watching How Heavy Are The Dumbbells You Lift?, which was a work of anime genius that I should probably watch again, or at least read the manga, which was also excellent.

Anyway, all this is a long-winded way of saying that I'm having a night off doing anything useful and/or productive this evening, and I shall feel no guilt about that whatsoever! I'm not even going to write about Terranigma, even though I finished it last night. I will save that for tomorrow or the weekend — at least partly because my work announced our two Big Projects for the year today — the Banjo-Kazooie Double Pack which had already been revealed, and The DOOM Collection, which everyone kind of already knew about. But still. Not that I'm suggesting my online ramblings will take away from professional marketing, but I kind of just want to let that be out there tonight — and, indeed, to have a nice relaxing night off for myself.

Now the question is: what to spend that night off doing? Do I go play some more Visco arcade games? Do I play some Forza Motorsport? Do I start something completely new? Deciding that is going to occupy the next half an hour or so, I suspect, so let's leave that there. Also I need a wee.

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#oneaday Day 789: Longing for the saddle

One of the things I miss feeling like I am able to do, being the size I am, is cycling. I've never been particularly good at cycling — memories of coming off my bike and shearing all the skin off my arm as a child are still painfully fresh — but there's something just altogether wonderful about the relative freedom that cycling provides, assuming there aren't any Big Hills on your path. And these days, you can counteract Big Hills with an electric bike — or just do it the old fashioned way by getting off and pushing. (I've never been able to Stand Up on the Pedals, before you say anything.)

I say I don't feel able to cycle, but I don't know that. I feel like I am probably too heavy for your average bike, though, and I don't really want to put myself in a situation where I'm putting that to the test, because of the potential embarrassment. As such, "being able to cycle again" is one of many things that are filed away under "things to do if you are ever able to successfully shift all this weight ever again". A box that has been frustratingly out of reach for quite a few years at this point.

Thing is, I know I can shift weight, because I did it once before. Unfortunately, the method I used last time around — following the Slimming World programme — hasn't really worked for me on subsequent attempts for various reasons, and I also found that I've never had quite as strong a connection with any Slimming World consultants since the chap mentioned in that linked post. Paul Glass was someone truly special, and it was a sad day when he had to leave us. (He's not dead, to my knowledge, he just chose to finish being a consultant for his own reasons.)

And it's frustrating, because I remember how great it felt to be if not "slim", then certainly more "normal-sized", according to my own self-perception. I remember leaning back in the car and smiling at the fact I could see my whole body rather than just my belly. I could cross my legs. I wasn't repulsed by my own reflection. I could buy clothes from regular shops. I wouldn't hesitate at the prospect of reuniting with old friends based on the shame I feel over my current appearance. And, yes, I could ride a bike without worrying about it.

I want those great feelings back again! And it's not as if I'm not trying to get back there — even having some mild success through counting calories and getting a bit of tentative exercise with my walks in the park — but it's a long road ahead of me, and I'm also conscious of the fact that at the end of that road, if I ever get there, I have to face a lifelong fear and get surgery to sort out this hernia that I've been dealing with for probably getting on for a decade at this point. And that fucking hernia is one of the biggest things holding me back right now; it's that which I'm most self-conscious about in terms of my appearance, it's that which makes a lot of things a lot more difficult to do than they perhaps could be, and it's that which, at times, still causes me pain that I can't really do a whole lot about until I've made it through this whole process.

The end result of all this effort will be worth it. I have to keep telling myself that, and reminding myself strongly about it when I feel like just giving up on the whole thing and just trying to live with the size and shape I am right now.

But I'm not at all happy with that. I would go so far as to say that my feelings towards my own appearance and general physical state are the absolute worst things in my life right now. You might not understand quite how all-encompassing those feelings can be if you've not been in this state before — and believe me, I strongly discourage you from doing so if at all possible — but I really do feel like if I can fix this, it will make my life immeasurably better in almost every possible way.

That goal really does seem so far away, though. Some days it's hard to keep going, but I guess it's one of those things you just have to take a step at a time, and eventually you will get there, so long as you don't take any particularly stupid detours along the way.

I am mildly prone to stupid detours, is the trouble. But let's just see where I end up as time goes on. Maybe one day I'll get back on a bike.

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#oneaday Day 788: Visco does what Nintencon't... or something

As a pleasant perk of my job, I get copies of all the Evercade cartridges ahead of when they actually release. Consequently, I have been enjoying the two upcoming Visco Arcade collections for a little while now, and, shush, come over here where no-one will overhear — I think they're my favourite carts this year.

Yes, I know we have some Big Names lined up for the rest of the year, one of which everyone already knows about (The Banjo-Kazooie Double Pack, which is releasing alongside Evercade Nexus in October) and another of which is pretty bloody obvious if you've been paying any sort of attention, even though it hasn't officially been announced as yet. And don't get me wrong, both of those carts are great. I am proud of the immense amount of work we put into them, and I think people are going to have some thoroughly pleasant surprises with them besides just rediscovering some old favourites. (There are also two more carts we haven't talked about at all yet, which are also going to be a fun time.)

But Visco Arcade 1 and 2? These carts reflect one of the main reasons I, personally, got into Evercade in the first place: the celebration and enjoyment of weird and wonderful stuff that I've never heard of before, and which has never seen official rereleases for one reason or another. (That's not quite true in the case of the Visco games, in that current rights holder PixelHeart sells NEOGEO cartridges, but the ability to enjoy those is dependent on you owning a working NEOGEO, which is… not something a lot of people have just lying around… although it will be interesting to see what effect, if any, the upcoming NEOGEO AES+ has on the market. But I digress.)

Anyway, yes. Visco Arcade 1 and 2 are both jam-packed full of games I'd mostly never heard of prior to working on the cartridges, and which are now titles I find myself playing and enjoying quite a lot. I'd previously come across the shoot 'em up Andro Dunos and the fighting game Breaker's (although we all learned recently about the apostrophe in the name, which is seemingly not common knowledge despite it being right there in the logo) and I also knew the Drift Out series by reputation (if only because everyone always mistakes Gaelco's excellent World Rally series, which is on Evercade too, for Neo Drift Out) but the others? Brand new to me.

Helicopter shoot 'em up action in Ashura Blaster! Time-travelling jet fighter shoot 'em up fun in Asuka & Asuka! Triple weapon space blasting in Galmedes! Driving a definitely-not-Volkswagen Beetle around mazes and hunting for treasure in Maze of Flott! Hacking and slashing Sengoku-style in Ganryu! Delightful, one and all.

Two of my favourite discoveries are Battle Flip Shot and Bang Bead, two games that are effectively evolutions of Pong, in which you control colourful anime-style characters and try to knock down targets behind your opponent. I partly like these because they're just simple, fun, well-presented arcade games — and I suspect they'd be great with a friend — but I mostly like them because they remind me of a Klik and Play project my friend Edd made once, which he dubbed Impact!

Impact! was a game in which two of the default, included sprites from Klik and Play — "Merlin" and "Street Puncher" — faced off against one another on a top-down representation of a tennis court. They then proceeded to knock an energy ball back and forth, each attempting to hit the item of fast food behind their rival in order to either score points or deplete the opponent's energy bar, I forget which. I believe Street Puncher guarded a hamburger, while Merlin guarded a pizza, though it may have been the other way around. There were lots of burping and farting noises, and it was an endearingly stupid, completely unbalanced but enormously fun way to while away an afternoon with a friend.

I couldn't stop myself from laughing when I booted up Battle Flip Shot for the first time and realised what the game was. "This is just Impact!" I said to myself, realising that there was absolutely no-one around who would have any idea whatsoever what I was talking about. That made me a bit sad, but mostly I smiled at the good memories, and consequently both Battle Flip Shot and its fairly similar (but notably different) successor Bang Bead suddenly became quite special to me, despite me only learning about them relatively recently.

In fact, if I think about the dates we were most likely fiddling with Klik and Play — between 1997 and 1999, during our time at sixth form, primarily — it's entirely possible that Impact! did, in fact, predate Battle Flip Shot, which came out in 1998. And certainly none of us were playing NEOGEO at that time; around then, the NEOGEO was a mythical beast, spoken of only in hushed tones in multiformat games magazines, and we didn't have any arcades anywhere near us to go play an MVS cabinet, either. So Edd's creation was all original do not steal.

I have idle thoughts of trying to get The Old Gang™ back together for some sort of Event that will likely involve drinking, cake and video games. I am also not entirely sure how to go about organising such a thing, as there are several members of said Old Gang I have not spoken to, let alone seen, for many years at this point. But that is, at least partly, why I think it would be fun to get everyone together and have a drunken Battle Flip Shot tournament. And see how long it takes Edd to notice that we're really just playing Impact! – Pro-Gear Spec Edition.

[Obligatory note, since I am talking about Work Stuff: the above is my opinion and my opinion alone, and does not reflect or represent the views of my employer and all that guff.]

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#oneaday Day 787: Friendfreeslop

I read an interesting piece earlier on the phenomenon of "friendslop". This is a term I'm not overly fond of, but it serves a purpose as there appears to be a somewhat amorphous if commonly agreed sort-of definition. The piece explores how despite appearances, "friendslop" is something that continues to drive a bit of a wedge between us interacting with one another in the real world by turning socialisation into content.

I'm not sure I agree with (or entirely understand) the piece's core thesis, but I am particularly conscious of the subject today, as there have been a number of glowing reviews dropping for Big Walk, the new game from House House, the company previously known for Untitled Goose Game. I have reached a point where I am immediately suspicious when all the particularly online critics on Bluesky are all over a new indie game, because the last time that happened was Blue Prince, and I fucking hate Blue Prince. But I'm also aware that Big Walk, as good as it might actually be, is fundamentally inaccessible to me.

You see, I don't really have anyone that I might have been able to enjoy that game with right now. Oh sure, I have people that I know and like online, but I don't know any of them that might be interested in playing a game that, for one reason or another, appears to be getting nudged slowly but surely towards the bin marked "Friendslop (complimentary)".

And folks that I would have previously regarded as my "IRL" friends, with whom I have enjoyed online multiplayer shenanigans of various descriptions? I haven't heard from any of them in over a year, after they severely upset me around my birthday last year.

Thus, I am mostly alone, so far as gaming is concerned. And this is frustrating, because although I have always found social interactions to be a tad challenging in various ways — which I learned late into my adult life is at least partly because of my existence on the autistic spectrum, and is the main reason I don't play with strangers — for many years, gaming was something that, while I often enjoyed as a solitary pursuit, I absolutely loved sharing with others just as much. Many of my absolute fondest gaming memories are about times spent playing together — and not necessarily in a "multiplayer" context, either! Let me try and think of a few.

Those days in school, where you had made a new friend and you plucked up the courage to ask your parents to let you go to their house. Fond memories of visiting my friend Edd and playing on his Amiga, and of him coming to my house and playing on my ST, SNES and, later, the PC. That time we played Flashback and had trouble with the big gooey boss thing on one of the last levels and ended up singing "The membrane, the membrane, the membrane is dead!" over and over after we finally beat it.

Those days in sixth form that felt like they'd never end — but sadly did — where we'd wander into town, grab some lunch from the local bakery, visit the local computer shop and buy a new game for PlayStation or N64, then all pile around someone's house to play it for hours. The time we played Mario Kart 64 and wrote down all the obscenities we hurled at one another for a feature in the sixth form magazine we produced. The time when none of us were really all that into football, but we played the World Cup 98 N64 game anyway, because it was fun. The many recording sessions we had to produce "voice acting" for our Klik and Play games, and the out-takes that made us laugh until we thought we'd piss ourselves. The time we introduced our head of sixth form to the one and only Klik and Play game we finished, where he was the main villain.

Those days in university, where after lectures were done, we'd pile around someone's house and play split-screen GoldenEye, Perfect Dark, Diddy Kong Racing and Mario Kart 64 for hours. The advent of the PlayStation 2, and how an experience as new and fresh as Grand Theft Auto III was something we could enjoy together, even though it was a single-player game. The time my friends brought a copy of Silent Hill 2 with them and I finished it in a single evening while they passed out, hammered and full of curry, in my living room, only to wake up and see the credits rolling.

Those days when I lived in an amazing flat in Winchester, and I had a bunch of friends over, we all got absolutely munted and took off our shirts to play LAN party Halo for some reason. When my housemate came back to find a living room full of half-naked men, she decided it was to be called "Gaylo" from then onwards.

And what I once thought were the incredibly enjoyable "Davison Cup" tournaments I hosted for my birthday celebrations for several years, which provided not only a rare opportunity to play games together with friends in the same room for once, but also a chance to introduce them to things they might not have experienced before — things that were important to me, personally. These memories in particular are somewhat bittersweet now.

I miss being able to share these experiences. It's not one single thing that has left me feeling so lonely and friendless; it is a veritable mountain of causes — some external, some internal, some self-inflicted, some caused by others, some caused by the general direction society (and the way in which we interact with one another) has moved in the last 30 years. All I really know is that I don't like it — and part of the reason I continue to write about the things I love and the things that are important to me, both here and on MoeGamer, is in the vain hope that it might provide even a hint of those personal connections I used to enjoy and appreciate on a daily basis.

It all feels a long time ago now, and I'm very tired, and I'm hurt. I don't even really want to play Big Walk all that much. It'd just be nice to feel like I had the option.

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#oneaday Day 786: Lunchtime games

I apparently completely forgot to write anything yesterday. To be fair, I was mildly hungover and thus didn't really want to do much other than play Terranigma, which I made some excellent progress on. I think I'm coming towards the end of that game, so I'll have more to write about it over on MoeGamer when that's done and dusted.

As I'm typing this, it's lunchtime, and this makes me think about what games are suitable for lunch break play. Really, you can play anything over your lunch — and indeed I have done in the past — but there are certain types of games that are eminently more suitable than others.

Long RPGs, for example, are probably not optimal for lunch break play — unless they're designed with a sort of "bite-sized" structure. Good examples of this that I've enjoyed in the past include the Neptunia series, which has small dungeons you can delve into, beat up some enemies, get some crafting materials and maybe complete some quests, and be done in less than an hour. The inverse of this is the grid-based dungeon crawler, where you really need to sit down and concentrate on what you're doing, lest you completely lose the thread of your explorations.

I found Splatoon Raiders to be an ideal lunch break game, because each of its stages are no more than about five minutes, tops. That means you can dip in and play a good few levels in just a short space of time, and feel like you've had a worthwhile experience. Recommended.

Driving games can also be good for this — in fact, after I'm done here, I might just boot up Forza Horizon and drive around a bit. Again, the bite-sized nature of most events in driving games make them eminently suitable for short sessions, such as playing over lunch.

Then, of course, there are arcade games, which are the very definition of this sort of thing. Arcade machines were designed for you to pass by, think "ooh, that looks fun, I'll have a quick go" and while away a few minutes. In most cases, the games are challenging enough, or designed with a built-in maximum play time, that you can enjoy one game multiple times during a short break — or you can sample multiple for a varied bit of fun.

This is why handhelds used to be brilliant to take to the office pre-COVID. Back in those Before Times, I had an office job that was about a 15 minute drive away, so in theory I could come back home and play something at home — indeed, on several occasions I even managed to get a full YouTube video recorded over lunch, which I'm not sure how I achieved in retrospect — but it was much more practical to pop the Vita or 3DS in my bag, stick on my headphones and just blot everything out while I sat on the sofa near the coffee machine, eating sandwiches and playing Neptunia.

I kind of miss that! I mean, I don't miss having to go out to work every day, but having a reason for handhelds to exist was fun. These days, of course, it would probably be the Switch 2 and/or the Evercade EXP-R coming out with me, and both of those are amply stocked with plenty of good "lunchtime games".

But now I work from home, I have a lot more choice. That can sometimes be overwhelming, but it's also nice. It means I can enjoy a wide variety of different things over my lunch break, and then easily get back to work at a suitable stopping point.

So that's what I'm going to go and do right now…

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#oneaday Day 785: Portioning the blame

I had a roll of Rowntree's Fruit Pastilles yesterday. While looking up the nutritional information to add it to my calorie-tracking app — I may have been having a little treat, but I was keeping within my daily calories — I discovered that the tube felt the need to inform me that "1 portion" is "half a tube". No it fucking isn't. Who the fuck eats half a tube of Fruit Pastilles?

I know why this is the case, of course. It's a misguided (and probably legally enforced) attempt to get us all to practice better portion control and, collectively, to Be Less Fat. However, we all know what actually happens: people look at that "portion" advice, then just double it (or, in some cases, multiply it by four or more) in order to calculate what they are actually eating. And I just feel like food companies could probably save everyone a lot of time and effort if they just put what the calorie value for the whole thing was.

Like, take a pizza. Buy a frozen pizza and the calorie information will probably be for half of it. Buy a takeaway pizza and the calorie information will be "per slice". Motherfucker, if I am buying a pizza of any description I am eating that whole thing, so just tell me what the damage is so I don't have to get the bloody calculator out. I will accept full responsibility for my actions. Just tell me.

Likewise, take one of those massive bars of Dairy Milk. According to those, "1 portion" is "3 squares". No it fucking isn't. The only time people buy a massive bar of Dairy Milk is when they are depressed, and when that happens they are almost certainly going to eat the whole thing while crying in front of the TV. (Ask me how I know.) So just tell me how many thousand calories are in that whole bar of chocolate so I can come to terms with the consequences at a later time when I am feeling less emotionally fragile.

I feel calorie information on food packaging might actually have more impact if it was more honest like this! "If you eat this whole quiche, that's most of the daily calorie intake for an average human being!" Great! Now I know, and I will thus probably think a little bit harder about whether or not I actually really want to eat that whole quiche, or if I'm just doing so because I'm in the middle of a binge-eating spree that is almost certainly fuelled by some combination of depression, anxiety and/or autism.

And don't even get me started on foods that are clearly portioned out, but which will only ever give you calorie information "per 100 grams". That's the point where I really don't want to start doing maths. Don't make me do fucking percentages just to figure out how guilty I should be feeling for eating the thing. Just give me the calorie information for a realistic portion, and perhaps for the entire packet of the thing just in case it accidentally ends up all taking a trip down to see Mr Tums.

To put it another way, stop trying to shame me for eating more than I "should" and help me make an actually informed decision using helpful information! By the time I am able to successfully curtail my appetite, I don't mind dividing some of these things into halves or quarters or whatever, although one would hope once you have reached a good, "healthy" weight (which is its own discussion, I'm sure) you have less need to be exacting about counting calories. But during that period where accurate calorie information is actually helpful — i.e. when you're trying to lose weight — I think it would benefit everyone to be completely honest and lay out the cold, hard facts. I think it would genuinely be a lot more effective at helping to get people to reconsider before overeating!

And stop trying to kid yourself that anyone is eating half a tube of Fruit Pastilles!

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