#oneaday Day 699: Final Fantasy XI and the art of patience

As… promised? threatened? recently, I've started playing Final Fantasy XI again. And I am reminded, once again, for the umpteenth time, that I really like this game, particularly in its current form. I'm sure there are plenty out there who will bemoan how "dumbed down" its 2026 incarnation is compared to what it was like 20 years ago, but man, c'mon. You can play most stuff solo now; some might say that misses the point of an MMO, but there's still a markedly different vibe existing in a world knowing there are other players around. You see other people going about their business; you participate in the economy; you contribute to asynchronous team activities.

I am also reminded that Final Fantasy XI is not a game for everyone. Specifically, it is not a game for the impatient, because there is a lot to do, and it takes quite a long time to do pretty much anything… except level up, now, which goes at a significantly more brisk pace than it did the first time I played it all those years ago.

But we're talking about a game where the ability to run slightly faster than normal is dependent on someone completing a long and difficult quest, it rolling a random chance of the "Swift Shoes" effect coming up, and then you healing to full and having a nice sit down for a couple of minutes to "charge" the slightly-faster-than-normal movement speed — which, of course, immediately fades away the moment you either attack something or get attacked.

We're also talking about a game whose original implementation of "fast travel" required you to fight your way to a huge "crag" two zones away from your starting city and collect a crystal from it, all for the privilege of being able to teleport an inconveniently long distance away from any of the game's towns.

We're talking about a game where, when you want to cross the sea, you have to physically stand and wait for a ship, and when you're on the ship, you have to wait for the voyage to complete. (Sometimes monsters attack. A lot of the time you just have to enjoy the ride.)

If those descriptions make you smile, even a little bit, you are probably someone who will enjoy Final Fantasy XI.

The fact the game demands so much patience makes it feel very rewarding, though. When you achieve something, you feel like you've bloody well earned it. This is not a game where you are a super-special Warrior of Light pretty much from the get-go; this is a game where you are a relatively normal person — albeit one with, arguably, extraordinary combat abilities compared to your "peers" among the NPCs — just trying to make their way in the world. Make a bit of cash, get a bit of training in, visit some new places.

It's this rather open-ended feel that I really like about Final Fantasy XI. In many ways, it feels like a very pure reflection of what I call the old "world RPG" formula exemplified by titles like the early Ultima games. There is a long-term goal to go and complete, but the vast majority of your playtime will be spent doing rather freeform activities to build up your character in a way that you see fit.

Some of the best things that have been added to Final Fantasy XI since its original release are designed to make it more than just grinding monsters for hours at a time. The "Records of Eminence" quests do a great job of giving you things to do and acting as a sort of guide to what it is possible to do in the game, without having to spend half your playtime looking at a wiki. The "Field Guide" and "Grounds Tome" books at the entrances to field and dungeon areas respectively provide you with focused sets of monster targets to down in exchange for generous experience bonuses. And of course there's plenty of quests, the main storyline missions and, once you get later into the game, lots and lots of side activities. I don't yet know how "important" some of these things are — or indeed what 90% of them are at this point — but I'm intrigued to find out.

Thus far I'm up to level 25 on the job I started with — Warrior this time around — and I'm levelling Monk as a subjob for now. I'm on the "rank 2" missions for my home nation, and making good progress. I've also kicked off the Rhapsodies of Vana'diel storyline that was added much later than the other main stories, and acts as another kind of "guide" through what the game offers, with its own narrative to follow — and plenty of extremely helpful benefits as rewards along the way.

I'm enjoying myself a lot. I don't know how long it's going to take me to get through the various storylines, but levelling has been going at a brisk pace, and I'm feeling good about how things are going so far. I'm looking forward to finally doing things like taking down the Shadow Lord, which I've never done before, and particularly getting into the well-regarded Chains of Promathia expansion storyline, which longstanding FFXI players have been banging on about the quality of for years.

So yeah. It's a good time. You just need patience. And if there's one thing I have developed over the years, it is a very strong sense of patience.

Want to read my thoughts on various video games, visual novels and other popular culture things? Stop by MoeGamer.net, my site for all things fun where I am generally a lot more cheerful. And if you fancy watching some vids on classic games, drop by my YouTube channel.

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#oneaday Day 698: Star Fox is back... again!

Nintendo surprised everyone with an out-of-the-blue Star Fox Direct earlier today, announcing a reboot of Star Fox for Switch 2. This is, I think, the third time they've "redone" the original Star Fox at this point, as it went Star Fox/Starwing (SNES), Star Fox 64/Lylat Wars (N64), Star Fox Zero (Wii U) and now this, which, in the tradition of all good reboots, is just called the name of the original thing it's rebooting. Star Fox. At least it won't be confusing in Europe.

I love Star Fox. It's probably one of my favourite Nintendo series. Specifically, I love the Super NES original, because while it's perhaps not the most technically impressive game when looking back on it retrospectively, it's still a great game that I enjoy a lot — and it has an amazing soundtrack. I rate the original Star Fox's soundtrack light years ahead of its 64-bit counterpart, because Star Fox 64 hailed from that age where Nintendo games had music that was beautifully composed, but played back on one of the worst MIDI synths a console has ever had. The new one takes what sounds like the music from Star Fox 64 and fully orchestrates it, which is just lovely.

The new game looks like it's going to be mostly keeping to Star Fox's roots as an arcade-style game with a level-based structure, and branching paths through the complete sequence of levels depending on the things you do and your overall performance. I'm interested to see how this will be received in the modern age, since the vast majority of big-budget games that come out today are designed to be huge, sprawling timesinks that take hundreds of hours for a single playthrough. Making a game that is short but highly replayable feels like it's a ballsy thing to do these days — and it really shouldn't, but it does.

It does look like the new Star Fox will be highly replayable, too. As well as the main story mode with its branching paths, it looks like there's a "Challenge" mode where you play a single level and attempt to complete specific objectives in it. This could either be great fun or extremely annoying, but I think it's the right decision to separate it out into its own mode rather than integrate it into the main story.

There's also what looks like a really fun multiplayer mode, too, with 4v4 battles between Star Fox and Star Wolf. It doesn't look like any of the three modes on offer are a simple deathmatch, either; there are different objectives to complete on each one, which will reward fancy flying as well as keeping the enemy off your back.

All in all, I'm excited and pleased to see Star Fox get yet another chance. Part of me wishes they'd let the story, such as it is, move on a bit instead of continually remaking the same one over and over again, but ultimately this is a gameplay-centric experience — at least previous installments have been — and so the reason you're blasting everything out of the sky doesn't matter too much. It does look like the whole thing is much more "cinematic" now thanks to the advances in technology we've seen over the last few console generations. It's nice to see Fox and company be able to chat with one another as fully modelled characters rather than just avatars chattering away during gameplay.

So I guess that's a Switch 2 game I'll be adding to my library when it arrives, although if it's on a Game Key Card, we are going to have words, Nintendo.

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#oneaday Day 697: Another post!

How about another post? I've already fired off my Final Fantasy XI shot in the previous post, so what to write about now, I wonder?

Perhaps I can tell you a bit about the Evercade Game of the Month game which came out today. I made a video about it and everything, like, for my actual job:

The Game of the Month programme, if you're unfamiliar, is a thing we do every so often where we give folks the opportunity to download and play a game on a sort of "trial" basis for a month or so, then all the games we've featured in a particular year get bundled together onto an Indie Heroes cartridge the following year, along with some cartridge-exclusive games.

It's a fun way to give some attention and love to the "homebrew" scene, and it effectively means that we get one of the first cartridges of next year up and running well ahead of schedule, which helps take a bit of the pressure off. And with the ambitious projects we've been doing recently, any opportunity to take a bit of the pressure off is very welcome indeed!

Last month, we had a special "shareware" version of BioMenace Remastered, which I'm thrilled we're bringing to Evercade, as I used to love BioMenace when I was a kid. I only ever had the shareware version, as many of us did, so it will be very exciting to play through the full thing when we eventually have it. (I also bought a copy on PC to support the chap behind it, who is a thoroughly lovely person.)

This month, we have Inspector Waffles: Early Days, which is an adventure game built in GB Studio, the tool of choice for seemingly 95% of Game Boy homebrewers these days. It's a flexible little engine, clearly primarily designed for top-down role-playing game-type experiences, and Inspector Waffles: Early Days makes good use of it to create an adventure game featuring not only top-down exploration and examining things, but also first-person point-and-click sequences, dialogue puzzles and a bunch of secrets. You can probably blast through it pretty quickly if you know what you're doing, like most adventure games, but it's an enjoyable ride with the whole "everyone is cats" thing being a fun gimmick.

We're actually still assembling the list of Game of the Month titles for the coming months, so if you happen to be reading this and you have something that will work on Evercade — generally speaking, an game built on any of the platforms we've previously emulated games for is a solid bet — then be sure to drop developer@evercade.co.uk a line and we'll see what we can do.

An hour and a half left to go on the Final Fantasy XI patch. Maybe a bit of NEOGEO while I wait, then…

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#oneaday Day 696: The missing day

I apparently missed yesterday! Whoops. Oh well. It was a bank holiday. Let's just say I was having the day off. Better yet, let me point you in the direction of something I did write yesterday, which was a thorough write-up of Capcom's Pragmata.

And then indulge me while I write two things today, because I feel like I "should". I'm just like that. Also I have just reinstalled Final Fantasy XI and it has to go through its whole many-hours patching process, so I may as well do something to fill the time.

I've decided to give Final Fantasy XI another honest go because I've always enjoyed it when I've played it in the past, I have been wanting to play through its story for more than 20 years (and there's a lot more of it now than when I first wanted to play it!) and I'm sort of "between games" right now. This time around, I want to make a proper effort to get through the main scenario. I know there's a lot of other stuff in Final Fantasy XI, but we'll see if I feel the need to jump into any of that as I work my way through; my priority is just seeing what the main storylines are.

The reason I say this is because I've pretty much made a decision: I'm going to head back into Final Fantasy XIV at some point before the new expansion drops — likely when the new "Beastmaster" job is added in the next main "part" of the Dawntrail finale patch, which is looking like July. Before that happens, I'd like to have had a good crack at Final Fantasy XI, so I'm going to treat it as my "main" game for the immediate future. I think it's going to be interesting — particularly as, for several years now, the game has been in a state where much of it is eminently soloable thanks to the fact you can bring recruitable NPC "Trusts" along with you for pretty much everything in the game, not just instanced dungeons like in Final Fantasy XIV.

As I say, I don't know how much into the weeds I'm going to get, because my main priorities are 1) getting to the level cap of 99 and 2) getting through the main storylines of the base game and all the expansions. The two will likely intertwine somewhat, and gearing up, particularly once at level 99, will likely involve dipping into some of the activities outside of the main story, but we'll see. I'm going to try and minimise guide usage as much as possible, too, because I think that will be much more interesting. I'm also curious to see if it's even possible to play that way — and if it isn't, well, there are 20+ years worth of FAQs, wikis and all manner of other resources out there to follow along with.

I'm excited! I'm also aware that I've fallen off Final Fantasy XI multiple times in the past, not because I wasn't enjoying it, but because something else came along that occupied my attention. Hopefully that won't happen this time around — because I'm increasingly conscious that, because of the game's age, there is likely only so much more time I have to be able to actually do this quest.

So Vana'Diel awaits! In about two hours' time, according to the PlayOnline Viewer, anyway. So how should I occupy myself in the meantime… hmmm?

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#oneaday Day 695: Final Fantasy VIII was fine

I don't know what it is, but just recently there seems to have been a huge upswing in the number of people who feel the need to go off on a long, long diatribe about how much they hate Final Fantasy VIII. And those people tend to get weirdly aggressive about it. I've stopped posting on one forum completely because of one such discussion where people were getting very dickish about it, and it is, to be honest, getting a little tiresome. Particularly when it is impossible to have a reasonable discussion with someone about it if you, like me, happen to hold an opposing viewpoint.

I love Final Fantasy VIII! I played it at a particularly formative point in my life — my first year of university — and it left a significant impact on me. It's a game I played with someone who was very important to me, it's a game that I shared some good times with friends over, and it's a game that I legitimately enjoyed from start to finish.

The typical argument from the Final Fantasy VIII haters is that it's a "bad" game because "the best way to play it is not to engage with its systems". Bollocks. I beat the game, including its superbosses, precisely because I engaged with its systems. Junction up a bunch of Aura, Ultima and other high-level spells to your important stats, cast Aura on yourself to get your special attacks rolling as often as possible, and watch the damage fly. Immensely satisfying. And, as "game-breaking" as it felt to do that, it is 1) what the game is designed to allow you to do and 2) really no different to what you do in any number of other RPGs; one of the most fun things about them as a genre is that there is usually a way to "break" them beyond their usual limits and start dealing astronomical levels of damage. Certain games even design themselves around this philosophy; titles like Disgaea, Omega Quintet and Trillion: God of Destruction very much fall into this category.

But I've learned that it's not worth even attempting to have this discussion when someone has decided to start yelling about how much they hate this twenty-seven year old game. I don't know if it's a weird form of clout-chasing, algorithm baiting or what, but it just seems bizarre to me how often I've been seeing this come up, usually completely unprompted, just recently. Perhaps I'm just Baader-Meinhofing myself, but I don't think it's that; I mean, it's weird, right? That game came out twenty-seven years ago, and people have suddenly decided that they're mad about it? I really don't get it.

I especially don't get it because back when Final Fantasy VIII was current, everyone I knew loved it. We had a running joke among our friendship group that every time we went to visit the local independent computer shop, at least one of us would ask when Final Fantasy VIII was coming out. This was such a running joke that my friend Woody even incorporated it into his unfinished (barely started, really) Klik and Play project called Resident Evil EX, in which Agent Wesley Wilson infiltrated a zombie-infested mall, where one of the survivors was cheery ol' Richie, proprietor of First Compute, and, indeed, walking in there would prompt a conversation (voice acted by us) about exactly when Final Fantasy VIII would be coming out.

Final Fantasy in general seems to attract these sorts of passionate haters for some reason. People really hate the fact that the series has been constantly reinventing itself over the years — despite a stated, explicit philosophy of the creators being "if it's not new, it's not Final Fantasy". And this, in turn, leads to people just… making shit up about the various games that, for one reason or another, are perceived as unpopular. It seems that it is Final Fantasy VIII's turn right now, since Final Fantasy XIII hatred appears to have died down a lot just recently.

But I mean it! I don't remember seeing anything anywhere near this level of hatred for, just to remind you, this twenty-seven year old game, prior to this year. Perhaps it was out there. Perhaps I just didn't see it. But I find that a bit difficult to believe. It just seems to be nothing more than the fashionable thing to crack wise about right now — just another meaningless, pointless social media trend that takes away from the possibility of ever having a real, sincere, meaningful discussion with anyone online any more.

Anyway. I just felt like saying that today. This is not an invitation for you (yes, you) to come into my comments and start rabbiting on about how much you hate Final Fantasy VIII. I honestly absolutely do not care. Or, perhaps more accurately, I'm not interested. Put a bit of that energy into telling me about something you do like — perhaps something I've never heard of! That's much more fun. Believe me. I've been making that the basis of what I write about games online for quite some time now, and it's far more rewarding than just hate, hate hate.

But I guess it was forever thus. The "funny" bad reviews in games magazines were always the ones people remember the most. The bad reviews on today's websites are scientifically designed to maximise "engagement". And someone blurting out, completely unprompted, how much they hate a twenty-seven year old game that isn't even that bad? I don't know what that is, but I don't think I want to be part of it.

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#oneaday Day 694: The joy of hyperfixations

I've done a lot of work on my Secret Creative Project over the course of the last few days. I am feeling a strong amount of Autistic Hyperfixation Energy on it right now — even if I do often have to juggle this with the equally autistic tendencies to fiddle around with the bits I've already created over and over rather than continuing to make new bits.

Thus far the project is standing at 16,826 words. I anticipate that by the time I finish this — which will be a pretty long time from now — that number will be in the high six digits at the very least. There's a lot of work still to do, but I feel good about this; I feel like this is a worthwhile undertaking, and one that I'm enjoying doing.

It's not something I plan to make any money from; it's not something I plan to plaster ads all over; it's not something I'm doing to "be famous" or anything like that. It's just a project based on something I enjoy that I think will help others to enjoy said thing as much as I do. Plus it's an excuse for me to dive down some thoroughly interesting research rabbit-holes.

Doing this is reminding me that I love writing, particularly about the things I'm passionate about. (Go on then; I'll give you a little hint as to what the project is about: it is, perhaps unsurprisingly, about games.) I love the little journeys that bits of research take you on; I love trying to craft a narrative from those nuggets of information you find; I love trying to get my enthusiasm across in a way that is hopefully enjoyable for the reader to engage with.

I don't know if I'll ever finish this. I would certainly like to, and while I'm feeling the strong Autistic Hyperfixation Energy, I intend to keep taking advantage of it as much as possible. I reached what I consider to be the first major milestone in the project this evening… out of many milestones along the way, yes, but a significant one, nonetheless. It feels like finally cresting a particularly steep hill, so I am going to "reward" myself with some nice relaxing time tomorrow. I haven't played Pragmata for a few days and need to get back on that, but this has been taking priority while I've been feeling very much in the mood for it.

On that note, though, it's after midnight, and I think I should probably get some sleep now.

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#oneaday Day 693: Another one bites the dust

It seems another gaming outlet has bitten the dust — in this case, the gaming part of The A.V. Club, which at various points has been part of Paste Magazine, a standalone site called Endless Mode and perhaps some other incarnations before that. (And no, I will never call them a "vertical"; we all took the piss out of Polygon being called a "vertical" when it was first announced and I have no intention of stopping now.)

At this point, I'm not even surprised any more. The broad concept that is "the video games media" is almost completely gutted at this point, with only a few sites still holding on. IGN and Gamespot still exist; Polygon still (kind of) exists; smaller, platform-centric sites like Push Square and NintendoLife still exist; and Kotaku has come back from the "dead" more times than I can count at this point.

I find myself pondering a few things about the whole situation. First of all, given that gaming is bigger than ever, how on Earth are we unable to sustain a specialist media sector focusing on it? Someone on Bluesky suggested it was because a significant number of the people who "play games" are little more than "content consumers", just "consuming" the latest thing that comes along and then banishing it from their mind; not taking the medium seriously as an art form, in other words. There's certainly an element of that, but I don't buy that it's a satisfactory explanation for what has been going on with the media over the course of the last few years.

Perhaps it's some sites discovering that certain "types" of games journalism just don't work? Those of you of a certain age will probably remember discussions over "New Games Journalism" and the question of whether we would ever have a "Lester Bangs of Games Journalism". These discussions were happening back in the late '00s, and centred around the idea of games journalism and criticism in particular moving away from the bog-standard news, preview, review, guide format in favour of something that was more… experiential, I guess you'd call it. Treating games more akin to how literary and artistic criticism treats other, more well-established art forms. "Telling the stories of the people behind the games", all that sort of thing. Things that look like they might be admirable when you look at them as part of a mission statement.

Thing is, I'm not sure that's what the readers want. The one thing you might notice about all the sites that have managed to survive for decades at this point is that they are, for the most part, still beholden to the same old news, preview, review, guide cycle that has been in place since the days of print. And my theory is that this is, as stale as it might be, what people still want from games journalism. "The stories of the people behind your favourite games" can be interesting, but when all a lot of people want to know is whether or not Pragmata is any good, I feel like those articles — which often take a hell of a lot of research, networking and general access to their subjects — may not be entirely sustainable, particularly on a site that needs to keep the lights on through ad revenue.

I'm not saying this is a particularly desirable situation. The overreliance on ads has lead to the "guideslop" era we're in at the moment, where every game that looks even vaguely likely to attract a few clicks gets three thousand pieces of "guide content", each one focusing on a single hyper-specific thing about the game in question, rather than a single, quality, well-crafted walkthrough. This is a load of old shit; there are a lot of writers who could be doing much more interesting work stuck on the guides beat, and I'm very much willing to bet they are some of the hardest working but lowest paid people in the business.

But I think back to old games magazines and why I enjoy reading them, and it's because each of them captures a moment in time. Times when we were excited for games that we knew the name of, but very little else about besides a couple of tiny, fuzzy screenshots; I think some mags got pretty much a full year of news stories out of two "Zelda 64" screenshots back in the day. Times when we were excited for the new possibilities that seemingly mind-blowing new platforms would offer us — and then the crushing disappointment when they turned out to not be that good after all. (Philips CD-i and 3DO say hello.) Times when an amazing new game would be the cover star of a magazine and turn out to be even better than we had ever hoped for — or in some cases, catastrophically bad.

I'm not sure sites writing about labour conditions in the industry, unions and quarterly financial results are really what gaming enthusiasts want from the press that supposedly represents them. I know it's certainly not what I'm particularly interested in.

I don't really read any gaming sites any more, and I often ask myself why that is. There are still quite a few out there doing good work, and there's a decent amount of diversity in the types of coverage out there, still… at the moment, anyway. I'm just not sure some of it is sustainable in the long term, and I wonder if a desire to focus on that unsustainable stuff just because it seems like "the right thing to do" — which it very much is in many cases — is what has got the games media as a whole into the messy position it's in today.

So what's the answer? I have no idea, really. In my ideal world, we'd go back to reading magazines every month, but despite the fact some magazines do still exist in print — I recently resubscribed to Retro Gamer, for one — it seems that is perceived as even more unsustainable than everything I've described above.

As someone who, as a young 'un, wanted nothing more than to follow his brother's footsteps into video games media, it's extremely sad to see all this happen. But I'm also kind of glad that I'm no longer directly in that space, because it seems like a hell of a bad time to be a video game specialist writer right now.

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#oneaday Day 692: Another hyper-specific product recommendation

I think it's about time I used my platform here, such as it is, to make another hyper-specific product recommendation, based on something that I, Pete Davison, 45 years of age yesterday, have recently Bought And Thought Was Kind Of All Right.

The product today is Clearasil's Rapid Action Pads. They look like this:

If the name "Clearasil" is familiar, it's because you probably know them for their numerous varieties of zit-clearance products from over the years. The brand's been around for a long time at this point, and is, I would assume, something of a Trusted Name.

I came to these pads because a few weeks back, I found myself getting a few zits around my mouth, so I thought I should probably do something about them beyond simply attempting to pop them and then doing stifled screams when I was reminded, through bitter experience, that popping zits that are on or near your lips is excruciatingly painful.

My initial intent was to go out and find a product I used to use as a teenager known as "Oxy Duo Pads", but I wasn't convinced that Oxy anything was a thing any more, because the last time I had even thought about these things was more than 30 years ago. As it happens, when I searched for "Oxy Duo Pads" on Amazon, these Clearasil things are the first thing that came up — although a brief Google reveals that Oxy is apparently still a thing if you know where to get them.

Anyway, Oxy Duo Pads were little fabric pads that were a bit rough on one side and a bit smoother on the other side, and they were coated in the sort of stinky chemical that was unmistakably for blasting zits. The theory was that you'd rough up your skin and open the pores with the rough side, allowing all that delicious chemically goodness to seep in (and burn like fuck if you were a bit sore) then smooth things out a bit with the smooth side. In the process, you'd almost certainly realise that your face was a lot more dirty than you thought it was.

These Clearasil pads are essentially the same thing, without the "Duo" part — in other words, they pretty much just have what was the "rough" side from the Oxy product. They still smell unmistakably like some sort of flesh-burning chemical, and they're still pretty danged good at not only getting the filth off one's face, but also discouraging zits from coming back.

However, that's not the reason I want to recommend them. I want to recommend them for an added bonus feature I discovered after just a couple of days of using them.

For most of my life, I've suffered with dry skin, particularly on my face. It's possibly some sort of genetic thing, as my Dad has always had it, too, particularly around his nose. I had resigned myself to it just being sort of there all the time, and having to put up with, in the words of Alan Partridge, "my pillow [being] like a flapjack" when I woke up of a morning.

Two days of using these damn things, and the skin on my face was clear, soft and not peeling or sore even a little bit. Sure, that first day made me feel like I was voluntarily inflicting serious chemical burns on myself, but after the second day, I noticed a difference. And, using them every day since then, I haven't had even a hint of dry or sore skin on my face.

I believe the reason for this is that the Clearasil pads include something called salicylic acid. This is something that I've seen among my wife's numerous skincare products on the bathroom windowsill, but never thought to even ask what it was for. It turns out that it basically strips the top layer off your skin, which is not as horrifying as it sounds. The net effect, it seems, is that the outer layer, which was all dry and crispy and horrible, is removed, leaving soft, fresh, new skin underneath. And I believe you are unlikely to whittle your own face down to the skull while using this stuff, because we all grow new skin on a pretty regular basis. Also it's apparently vaguely related to aspirin, and taking it orally is inadvisable. Thanks, Wikipedia.

Anyway, if you, like me, have ever suffered with a face that seems to want to come off at the most inconvenient times, it seems the answer is to regularly douse it in a form of acid that, in itself, will also cause your face to come off, but in a more useful and less messy way than when your face wants to do it itself.

I guess I have a "skincare routine" now, such as it is.

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#oneaday Day 691: It is my birthday

It is my birthday. I am 45 years of age today. I have had a reasonably nice day — I took the whole beginning of this week off — but to be honest I didn't achieve what I initially thought I was going to achieve in this time off. I thought I was going to make some videos, but it turns out I have not done that. Instead, I have made some headway on a Mystery Creative Project I teased a while back.

I'm still not going to tell you what it is, because my aim for it is to finish it before unleashing it on the world, rather than doing it piecemeal. My reasoning for this is that… well, I have prior experience. At one point a while back, I started doing a website whose long-term intention was to go through every cartridge available for the Philips G7000 "Videopac" computer and write something about all of them. I stalled on that project for various reasons, and at some point a WordPress update broke my layout on the page and I haven't been able to summon up the mental fortitude to go and fix it. As such, it's just sort of sitting there in a broken, unfinished state, and will likely continue to do so.

My thinking is that if I work on this thing a bit at a time, trying to knock off a little bit of it every day, I'll have something impressive to show off when it's complete. (Once it's "complete", it will continue to evolve by virtue of what it is, but there will definitely be a moment when it reaches "version 1.0" status and I am happy to reveal it.) Conversely, if I were to launch what I've done now, people might just go "huh, cool", realise there's not all that much to it yet and then never think about it ever again.

So that's my plan. And I've made a good dent in starting this whole project over the course of the last few days. Starting these things is always one of the toughest bits, because you keep thinking of little bits and pieces you might want to do to refine the experience — and if these revelations come too late, it can be a bit of a faff to implement them. Thankfully, I'm happy with the situation I've got things into now, and I can now focus on the real meat of the overall project.

Make no mistake, though, this project is going to be a lot of work. There is somewhere in the region of 800 "little jobs" to do in the name of putting the whole thing together, and so far I have completed (counts) nine. Still, every journey begins with a single step and all that, and now I've got started, I feel like I can bang out a bit of this whole thing each day until it is all done. And it is something that I think will feel good when it is finished.

I apologise for being vague about all this, but hopefully you understand my reasoning for it. I want the grand unveiling of this thing, whenever that might end up being at some indefinite point in the future, to be a worthwhile and meaningful event for those it is relevant to. And I feel like teasing it too early will be counterproductive to that. So this is the approach I'm taking. And this probably won't be the last time I mention it in such vague terms. But you'll see… eventually. Hopefully, anyway.

On that note, I'm off to take a break from this self-inflicted "work" and enjoy the rest of my birthday before I have to go back to work tomorrow.

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#oneaday Day 690: I bought The Beano for the first time in more than 30 years

I was in Marks and Spencers earlier — yes, yes, something something middle class — and I happened to see that they had copies of The Beano on sale in the small newsstand near the tills. I've noticed this before, but never picked one up. Today, I decided to finally satisfy a longstanding curiosity and answer the question: "what is The Beano like, more than thirty years after I last read it?"

I used to read The Beano pretty much every week. I had Beano annuals most years for Christmas, and when I was lucky, I'd get a Bash Street Kids or Dennis the Menace annual to go along with it. My parents used to read The Beano when they were kids, too; they have some pretty old Beano annuals knocking around somewhere, and probably (hopefully?) still all my old ones, too.

I liked The Beano because it was straightforwardly funny, and it was something that I could share my amusement about with my family. We all particularly enjoyed Calamity James, a comic strip about an unlucky boy that always featured an absurd amount of background detail that was often more hilarious than the actual happenings in the strip — plus at least one smelly sock in every single full-page strip.

I wasn't sure what to expect from a copy of The Beano in 2026. Would it be filled with impenetrable Young Person Slang? I wasn't sure it would be, as although it was kid-friendly when I was young, I don't remember it being too tryhard about trying to "sound like" us. The thing I was most expecting was that it would be childish humour that I simply wouldn't find funny — but then I remembered that I still find burps and farts hilarious, and felt that even if it was childish, it would probably be about my level.

So I dove in while enjoying a sandwich. And I enjoyed it! It even elicited some genuine out-loud laughs on multiple occasions. There are, as you might expect, quite a lot of changes that have happened in the intervening 30+ years, but a lot of things have stayed the same, too. So let's look at a few highlights.

Dennis the Menace is still the cover star, though his strip no longer adorns the front and back covers — there's a more conventional "magazine-style" cover on the front now, though there's still a strip on the back for the "Make Me A Menace" feature, where readers can send a photo of themselves in and be featured in a comic strip.

I highlighted these first frames because I thought they were a good visual gag. The strip, which ran for four pages in total — so much longer than in his cover-mounted days — told the story of how Dennis refused to cut his hair until Beanotown United won three games in a row, and this caused his hair to grow so long that it became sentient and started eating people. Thoroughly silly, and exactly the sort of thing I would have expected to see in The Beano back in the day.

Calamity James is, unfortunately, a shadow of its former self. It's clearly done by a different artist now, and it's only a three-panel strip alongside fellow Beano veteran Billy Whizz and newcomer Addams Family wannabes Number 13. All the wonderful background detail and silly visual gags are gone — no more smelly sock! — but I'm pleased they kept James looking like a slightly deranged pencil. The gag is, I have to admit, mildly funny, too, though it does rely on an awareness of stupid modern trends like "6-7" and thus would probably be impenetrable to my parents at this point.

One of the biggest changes since I read The Beano as a kid is the addition of quite a few non-white characters, including some who have their own strip, such as in Har Har's Joke Shop here. Doubtless this made the "anti-woke" people furious at some point in the past, but it's a sensible change for the comic to make, as it reflects the multicultural nature of our society while at the same time highlighting how people having differently coloured skin doesn't mean they suddenly become completely alien types of person; the non-white characters in The Beano fit right in with all the usual mayhem without being picked out as being something "unusual" — which is a good message to send to kids.

This idea continues with the changes to The Bash Street Kids. While all the old cast are there, a couple have had name changes in the name of sensitivity — Spotty is now Scotty, and Fatty is now Freddy, though Plug (as in "plug-ugly") is still as he was. New additions to the crew include Cuthbert (the chief "softy" from older Dennis the Menace cartoons, though I wonder if he's been retired from that role in the name of not promoting bullying) along with Harsha from Har Har's Joke Shop and apparent newcomers Mahira, Stevie and Khadija, all non-white characters of various descriptions.

This was a good gag. I'm pleased to see The Beano come down on the anti-AI side of things. I find that oddly reassuring.

Elsewhere, the comic is apparently in the process of serialising Bananaman's origin story. I was just explaining to some baffled Americans about Bananaman the other day, and it turns out he's still relevant, apparently. I would never have expected that.

Perhaps most reassuring of all, though, is The Beano's willingness to include a full-on fart gag. Oddly enough, despite being plenty mischievous back in the day, I don't recall ever seeing Beano characters burping and farting, except perhaps sometimes in the background of Calamity James strips. This little beauty from newcomer Rubi's Screwtop Science, featuring a lead character in a wheelchair, gave me a good giggle, though…

…as did the fact the comic apparently April Fooled people by suggesting you could scratch and sniff Minnie the Minx farting in a prior issue. I love this because I feel like there's a whole bunch of layers to this gag, some of which only the grown-ups will get. I'll leave them to your imagination.

All in all, I enjoyed my first look at The Beano in more than thirty years. It's nice to see how inclusive it's become, though like I say, I suspect there are certain Daily Mail-reading portions of the population who believe it's an outrage that there's a character wearing a hijab in The Bash Street Kids. Thankfully I have never run into them, and I hope I never do.

It's most reassuring to see how funny it still is, though, even as an almost-45 year old man. (45 tomorrow!) Will I keep buying The Beano? I don't know. I actually wouldn't be averse to the idea. So let's maybe have a think about that…

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