I've been feeling… I don't know if "confident" is quite the right word for it, because confidence is not a super-familiar feeling to me, but I've certainly been feeling a bit "different" just recently.

I think probably the most clear example I've seen of this is that I quite happily sent two online trolls packing this week without particularly breaking a sweat. (It took just four letters to get rid of the one today, in fact, but perhaps that's a story for another day.) Normally this sort of situation would fill me with anxiety and leave me wondering if I'd done the "right" thing (even if I obviously had) but this week? No, I've been feeling… kind of feisty, if I'm honest.

I'm trying to pin down exactly what's caused this because it seems like something I might want to explore if I want to develop my confidence further. There are a couple of possible factors at play here.

Firstly is that I've been having some therapy recently. I've found myself questioning its value a bit as it unfolds exclusively online via text chat and I feel that there's something a little more "weighty" to a face-to-face interaction, but it's with qualified people from the local health service who know what they're talking about, and it's got me thinking about a few things in a few different ways.

Secondly is a simple change to what I've been doing with my work online; as you may well have noticed if you follow my video work, I've been actually appearing on video now rather than just being a disembodied voice. While I quite like the disembodied voice approach, my wife has been assuring me for a while that it would be a good idea to appear "on camera" so people can get a better idea of who is talking to them. I know there are certainly a few content creators out there whose work I enjoy at least partly because of their "facecam" (ProJared is a particularly good example, though a good part of his appeal also comes from "Miss Editor") so, after a bit of consideration about exactly how to do it, I decided to experiment a bit.

And to my surprise, I found myself actually enjoying it and being proud of what I'd created, rather than filled with a sense of revulsion at seeing myself on screen. I have things I can work on, certainly, but I actually feel quite at ease and "natural" both talking to the camera to introduce a video, and as a "facecam" during gameplay. And I think it's made my videos better as a result. And, in turn, thinking that has made me feel a bit better about myself, too.

Perhaps it's a bit of both of those things. Either way, this is a positive development, even if it is just a small one. Here's hoping I can continue to find productive and fun ways to work on my issues!

One of the main reasons I started the Atari A to Z series was to indulge the sense of nostalgia I've had pretty much all my life.

Even when I was a bright-eyed twentysomething at university for the first time (well, all right, maybe not the "bright-eyed" bit) I was nostalgic for the Atari games and software I grew up with. And revisiting it again now, at the age of 37, and being able to share it with people… that's really awesome.

This week's Atari ST A to Z video is really special to me. I didn't really think anything of it when I started making it; I just needed a "W" game. But between recording it and editing it this evening, yes, I've come to realise that this game in particular really means a lot to me. (It meant enough for me to actually play the whole thing through from start to finish on video!) And I'm not entirely sure why; it's a good game that I enjoy playing now and that I enjoyed playing back in the day, but I don't believe I associate any real specific memories with it.

Perhaps it's just a reminder of good times with family. I had my various struggles growing up, as anyone does, but on the whole my home life was pretty content and comfortable. And I think this game is just one that I associate with that general feeling of "home".

What's the game? Well, here's a "rendering in progress" teaser… if you don't recognise it, you'll have to wait until Thursday to find out for sure!

Graaah. After all that video footage recording over the weekend, I've been having a few frustrations with it… and annoyingly, I suspect it's to do with the software that I have, up until now, used without issue.

I've been using the video editing software Hitfilm Express to produce my videos for a while now. It's a great piece of software with some excellent compositing features; the latter aspect, if you're unfamiliar, is especially good for overlaying titles, special effects and suchlike, allowing you to use Photoshop-esque "layers" to arrange things as you see fit, then integrate them with some existing footage. For my purposes, it's been great for titles, little visual jokes and integrating "facecam" footage.

However, with the latest update to Hitfilm Express, there appear to be some audio-video sync issues that weren't there before. The footage I import from my camera drifts out of sync with the audio I record on my microphone, making it very difficult to do the "facecam" stuff. It's not completely impossible thanks to the magic of editing, but it's not especially practical.

I'm going to try Sony Vegas this evening, which a number of people have recommended, and see if that helps. That's paid rather than free (Hitfilm Express is free, which is another reason I like it!) but if it does the job better I might have to switch! Thankfully there's a free trial I can evaluate it with.

Well, I didn't QUITE get everything done that I wanted to this weekend… but I certainly made a significant dent in my "to do" list.

I was hoping to get at least two weeks' worth of videos done over the course of the weekend and I almost managed it, just not quite. I could have used my time a little bit more effectively yesterday, but today was pretty on-point.

So here's what I have achieved this weekend:

• Recorded introductions to camera and game footage for four Atari A to Z videos
  – Recorded introductions to camera and game footage for four Atari ST A to Z videos
  – Recorded introductions to camera for four Atari A to Z Flashback videos
  – Recorded introductions to camera for one Sunday Driving, two Warriors Wednesday and two New Game Plus videos
  – Recorded game footage for one Sunday Driving
  – Recorded game footage for two Warriors Wednesday

Not bad, huh? Of course, that all needs editing, but with the nature of what I do the actual editing process doesn't take too long right now. (Rendering is a another matter, mind you!)

I was hoping I might get the gameplay footage for the A to Z Flashback and New Game Plus videos done as well, but it's five to midnight and I feel I might be pushing my luck starting something else right now, especially given it's a workday tomorrow.

I actually have two full weeks off from the day job at the start of April… I'm really looking forward to this because you better believe I'm going to make full use of that time to get some cool stuff done on MoeGamer and a ton of awesome videos ready for you to enjoy.

For now, sleep beckons!

One of the most pleasurable parts of what I do for my various creative projects is research… and sadly, this is one side of things that it's abundantly clear a lot of professional writers in the commercial press seemingly don't bother to engage with a lot of the time.

I am fascinated by the history of video games, and so it's always a pleasure to write one of my historical retrospective pieces for a MoeGamer cover feature, and now that I've tweaked the format of Atari A to Z to have an introductory "piece to camera" before the gameplay starts, I've been adding some more substantial research to the mix there, too, rather than just raw, unfiltered gameplay impressions.

My favourite thing about research is that sometimes you come across connections that surprise and delight you. Just today, I discovered that you can actually trace a direct line between the things I'm covering on Atari A to Z and the things I cover on MoeGamer, and that made me unfeasibly happy. I won't spoil exactly what that connection is just yet… you'll find out in a few weeks. Puyo Pop Fever is involved.

Research may be time-consuming and it may be frustrating when you run into a "dead end", as sometimes happens — particularly when you're dealing with lesser-known stuff, or things from an era before the Internet. But when you make these connections and have the opportunity to share what you've discovered with the people who enjoy your work… it's a feeling like no other. Getting someone to go "huh, I never knew that" is one of my absolute favourite things, and I'm hoping there will be at least a few of those moments in the coming weeks!

For now, though, I've kept myself up until half past midnight researching old Atari 8-bit games, so I probably better get some sleep if I want to record all the videos I have planned for tomorrow! Sweet dreams…

If you're on Twitter, you may well have seen earlier that I'm making a bit more of a push to get my "Atari A to Z" project seen. To that end, the @AtariAtoZ Twitter account will be much more active alongside @MoeGamer, so do please follow that if you're not already doing so.

To go along with that update, I've revamped my Patreon page to better reflect the breadth of things I'm up to at the moment, as well as showcasing my video work. The content I'm creating now has gone well beyond MoeGamer's original remit… and I'm loving every minute of what I'm doing. Even actually appearing "in person" on camera, which is not something I ever thought I'd say! But then I used to hate my voice, too.

Since this is a major revamp to these pages, I'd like to ask you a favour, dear Patrons; if you can share my profile link around the place a bit and let people know what I've been up to, that would be absolutely wonderful. Please also point people in the direction of my two Twitter accounts, my YouTube page, MoeGamer.net and atariatoz.wordpress.com.

Word of mouth is such a massively important part of getting noticed these days; people are a lot more inclined to trust things that their friends and acquaintances share online than some faceless corporation or someone they've never heard of. So anything you can do to help out a bit is very much appreciated — even if it's just clicking "Like" on a video or two on YouTube.

If you want some links to copy and paste directly, here, for your convenience:

MoeGamer: https://moegamer.net
Atari A to Z: https://atariatoz.wordpress.com
My YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaUNt3XWVlWfslXbqM7_vkQ

A sincere thank you, as ever, for supporting my work however you can; it means the world to me that I can do what I love and have people show their genuine appreciation for it. It makes me genuinely happy in a world that feels increasingly hopeless with each passing day!

But let's not get maudlin. It's nearly the weekend! What are your gaming plans for the coming days?

Morning! I went and forgot to do a second post yesterday, didn't I? So, well, today's the day to catch up, I guess.

In my defense, it was a busy evening last night. I got home, had stuff to write up, had a video to make and had to head out to Slimming World, even in the knowledge that with the chaotic week I've had, I would almost certainly have gained weight. (I had, but not as much as I thought I might, so that's good!)

Still, last night wasn't all bad; I had the opportunity to discover the wonder that is Devil Engine, a new shoot 'em up published by Dangen Entertainment. This game is Western-developed, but clearly by someone who absolutely knows all about classic shoot 'em ups from days gone by, particularly the 32-bit era. It's an amazing game and if you enjoy a great blast, you'll definitely want to give it a look — check out my full piece over on MoeGamer if you want to know more.

Today, the plan is to survive the day job as always, then this evening there'll be a writeup on 428: Shibuya Scramble for your delectation, focusing on its main narrative. Then next week we'll finish off the complete Cover Game feature with a look at the "post-game" content and unlockables, after which we'll be moving on to Death End Re;Quest, which I should hopefully be receiving today!

Thanks for your understanding, patience and support! Next week will be a better week. I hope 🙂

Good morning! For once a late post isn't my fault — Patreon was throwing 503 errors at me when I went to post last night, so I was unable to publish this then.

Okay, it may well have been my fault for attempting to publish at 1:30 in the morning, but that's actually what I wanted to talk about today.

I've come to associate late nights with beating video games. Which makes a certain amount of sense when you think about it; given that the daytime tends to hold "adult" responsibilities (boo) the most likely time a vaguely normally functioning member of society will finish a game is last thing at night. Particularly if you're me, and you don't like to leave a story "hanging" when it's become pretty obvious that you're almost at the end.

Such was the case last night with 428: Shibuya Scramble. I started playing the last time block of the game after dinner, and knew that, more likely than not, I was going to beat the game that evening. Or, more specifically, I felt that with the knowledge I was on the last chapter, I was going to make a specific effort to see it through to the end that evening, however long it took.

I love endings and finales, particularly those in Japanese games, because if there's one thing Japanese devs are great at, it's a good finale. Whether it's a spectacular final boss fight in an RPG or just a culmination of all the narrative paths as in 428: Shibuya Scramble, there's something about the last few hours of a narrative-centric Japanese game that will just keep me playing until the small hours.

In the case of 428: Shibuya Scramble, the finale sequence was interesting in that it was by far the most "complex" of all the chapters in terms of making choices and having to jump back and forth between characters in order to clear "Keep Outs". There are even two more playable protagonists in this finale sequence who have just been supporting characters up until this point — and just to further add to the complexity, if you get a Bad End in this final chapter, you do not get a hint as to what you did wrong, unlike in the rest of the game. And there are a lot of Bad Ends in the final chapter!

Ultimately I managed to unravel the mystery and clear the game, however, even apparently managing to get the "true" ending first time rather than just the normal ending. There are a bunch of other endings and unlockables, though, so I will be exploring those before my time with the game is over. I'm especially interested to see the additional scenario that was composed by the creators of Fate/stay night.

I'll be writing more about the main narrative of the game (additional content notwithstanding) either today or tomorrow on MoeGamer, so watch out for that. In the meantime, if you're yet to experience this unusual, chaotic masterpiece, I can highly recommend the experience!

One thing I've never been quite sure about being "acceptable" when it comes to creativity is enjoying your own work.

I know there are plenty of people out there who, having put something out there for people to enjoy, promptly want nothing more to do with it. And I can understand that!

However, I've never really fallen into that category for as long as I can remember. When I was a kid, I used to enjoy reading stories I'd written and looking at pictures I'd drawn; when I was at university I added musical compositions to this; now, I enjoy reading back over articles I've written and watching videos I've made.

Part of this is the attitude I think I've always taken towards creativity: most of the way through my life, I've treated creativity as something that is, at its core, quite selfish. I don't mean that in a bad way, despite the negative connotations to that word. Rather, I mean that I've always treated creativity as something to be enjoyed, and an act of creating something that I want to enjoy myself.

And that's what I still do to this day! Everything I make is something that I enjoy myself. As I type this, I'm re-watching my Atari ST A to Z series, and I often read back over the 800+ articles on MoeGamer to bring back fond memories or revisit some favourite games.

Arrogant and prideful? Perhaps. But I feel like it works out all right in the long run. Creating stuff I enjoy has helped bring me closer together with people I get along with. Because it turns out they like the stuff I create too. And that's a really pleasant bonus to an activity I already enjoy.

So thanks for indulging me, I guess!

I covered ancient Atari arcade game Canyon Bomber on Atari A to Z Flashback this weekend just gone (see attached video) and goddammit, I am absolutely hooked on that stupid game.

It is the very essence of simple purity in game design: one button, three chances to fail before it's all over. But my God I love it. I have one go, and then I just have to have another one… and then another… and then another! Back in the old days of Atari magazines, we used to refer to this as the "just one more go" quality, and indeed this is by far the most potent example of it I think I've experienced since Geometry Wars 2. (For clarity, I played Canyon Bomber for the first time long after I played Geometry Wars 2 for the first time; I am well aware of the considerable age gap between them.)

Canyon Bomber is so formidable in the addiction terms because of the variety of different goals you can set for yourself, even within the context of such simplistic mechanics. You can play to beat the other player — be they computer- or human-controlled. You can play to beat your own high score — though you should take note that the other player can easily stymie your attempts in this regard! In the modern Atari Flashback Classics incarnation of Canyon Bomber, you can play to move up the global leaderboards. Or you can attempt the seemingly impossible: to clear the screen.

This latter option is what I'm finding so incredibly addictive. I get so close so often that it must be possible… it must. But I can't do it. I just can't. Whether it be an ill-timed thumb spasm or just general incompetence… I cannot clear that screen. (And, for that matter, I cannot beat my own high score… I have no idea how I scored 433 points.)

But I'm going to keep trying. Maybe just one more try before bed… one more… one more…