#oneaday Day 620: It's that time again

Yep, it's that time when I come at you live from a hotel room in sunny and fragrant Letchworth, ready and waiting for an invigorating day in the office tomorrow.

It took me over four fucking hours to get here today due to traffic on the sodding M25, but I did at least have some entertaining listening material in the form of a couple of Fun Factor podcast episodes that I hadn't yet gotten around to. And I've said it before, and will probably say it again, but this show is a great listen for anyone who, like me, grew up with video game magazines in the '80s and '90s.

I had a Taco Bell on the way down, though, so that was nice. Taco Bell in this country doesn't generally make one want to shit one's pants, and it's a nice change from the usual service station fare. I have also got a bag of freeze-dried sweets, because I saw them in Morrisons and was curious. They're quite nice, but also a bit like eating polystyrene. I don't dislike the experience, but I probably won't be in a hurry to get another bag.

I have brought a companion with me this time. This is Geoff:

Geoff was hastily hand-made for me by my wife after I got her a Valentine's Day gift and she had forgotten what date it was. (I wasn't mad, I wasn't expecting anything in return — I just like buying gifts!) When I say hastily, I mean it — she bashed him out in just a couple of hours, which is seriously impressive, and she is a wonderful person I am lucky to have in my life.

Why Geoff? Because Andie thought his mouth looks like a moustache, and from that I thought he looked like our head of sixth form, Mr Watts, whose first name was Geoff. So he's Geoff.

Anyway, that's about all for today because I'm typing on my phone and I hate doing that. So that's all you get for now. Have a lovely evening!

#oneaday Day 475: A traitorous experience

As noted yesterday, today was a Work Day Out. Not a Work Day Out where we had to do any work, but a Nice Thing To Do Together, presumably for the purposes of "team-building" and suchlike. I may sound cynical, but honestly my workplace is such a nice, small company that any occasion like this just feels like a nice gathering of friends — albeit one where the boss foots the bill. Winner.

Our main activity for the day was The Traitors Live Experience, an interactive group game based on the (apparently) popular TV show. (I've never seen it. But that doesn't mean much these days.) I was a little concerned ahead of time that we might end up playing with strangers, but thankfully we had enough people in our group to ensure that our game, which had 11 people total (and could have supported up to 14) was entirely people who knew each other. While The Traitors TV show is based on the assumption that most of the participants won't know one another prior to playing, they have a lot longer to get to know each other; as such, since The Traitors Live Experience is just shy of two hours in length, I suspect it is best played with people you have, at the very least, a passing acquaintance with.

I'm going to explain how the game works now on the assumption that you, like me, have never seen The Traitors, so if you're a big fan of the show and you feel like I'm stating the obvious, I can only apologise. I am not able to comment on the experience from a fan's perspective, so this will have to do you for now.

After an opportunity to hang out together in a comfortable bar area (with seating!) before your game starts, you are led into the depths of the venue, through a series of creepy Resident Evil mansion-style corridors, until you eventually reach your "Round Table" room. Once ensconced in your seat of choice, which you will stay in for the majority of the game, your host introduces the game and how it works.

Before play proper begins, at least one Traitor is selected. This unfolds through everyone seated at the table blindfolding themselves with blackout goggles, then loud music playing while the host stalks around the room and taps one or more people on the shoulder, indicating that they are the Traitors for the game. The remaining players are the Faithful.

The Traitors Live Experience unfolds in two parts: "day"-based missions and "night"-based potential betrayals. During the day, the group as a whole is given some sort of task to complete, and successfully achieving this rewards the group as a whole with "gold". You don't actually win any cash (unlike the TV show) — the "gold" is simply a score of sorts. At the end of the game, if all the Traitors have been eliminated, the Faithful score all the points, while if even one Traitor remains, the Traitors take all the points. The venue has daily leaderboards for how well Faithful and Traitors have performed.

At night, everyone dons their blackout goggles once more, but the Traitors are invited to take them off partway through proceedings. At this point, one of several things can happen: they can "murder" someone by pointing at them; they can "blackmail" a Faithful, causing them to become a Traitor (though I believe there are conditions on when this can occur, such as when a Traitor is eliminated from the game) or nothing at all can happen. Once again, if someone is "murdered", the host silently taps them on the shoulder, and they remove themselves from the room before everyone else takes their goggles off.

Being murdered (or, in later rounds of the game, "banished" by the Faithful if they believe you are a Traitor) doesn't mean your game is completely over; instead, you are removed to a separate room where you can watch live camera feeds of the surviving players, and at various junctures you are given the opportunity to interact with the games they are playing by solving puzzles in the other room, or perhaps by finding creative ways to communicate "from beyond the grave", as it were. There was a nice vaguely "escape room" feel to this side of proceedings, helping even those who are eliminated early to feel involved in the complete game.

As it happens, I, a Faithful, was murdered quite early on due to my strong performance in one of the missions and making some solid observations during the pre-Banishment deliberations. I was worried that getting knocked out early would be boring and annoying, but actually it was rather fun, particularly once some other people joined me in the room and we had to discuss whether to help the survivors or actively sabotage their attempts.

The missions themselves are all pretty simple parlour game-style puzzles — I assume they have a bank of them available to randomise so that two games aren't exactly alike. In our game, we initially had a straightforward puzzle where we had to rotate dials on the table to accurately depict the cycles of the moon. This was followed by a "spot the difference" game where we were showed a model of a crime scene and some photographs of a few details from it, then shortly after, we were shown a different model of the same crime scene (and "the same but potentially different" photographs) and tasked with spotting five changes, with bonus points on offer if we could determine how the corpse was actually murdered.

After that, we had a game where we were challenged to press a hidden button under the table after an exact amount of time had elapsed — this was the one I excelled at, since I've always been rather good at that sort of thing — and, after I'd been eliminated, the group were tasked with arranging a set of Tarot-like cards in order (with us "assisting" from beyond the grave by flashing the lights in the Round Table room from afar) and, as the grand finale, the group were challenged to recreate several scenes shown in silhouette by equipping themselves with props and standing in place.

I don't know how close in execution the whole thing is to the TV show, but plenty of effort has been made with the presentation of everything. There's plenty of cool lighting effects, dramatic music and suchlike, and the "Round Table room" is nicely detailed, even concealing a secret exit to "Traitors Tower", where the finale sequence took place. The whole thing was very enjoyable, and I'm glad I overcame my initial misgivings about playing a game so based on social cues to enjoy the experience.

As I say, I feel like for certain types of people, the experience will lose some of its appeal if you attend in a small group and end up being paired up with strangers, but likewise some people will thrive in that environment. It's good that the game is seemingly flexible and doesn't force anyone to do anything they're uncomfortable with — prior to starting the game, you're given the opportunity to privately indicate if you'd rather not be a Traitor from the outset, though this doesn't preclude you from potentially being "recruited" later in the game if the Traitors' ranks find themselves thinning.

We followed our time at The Traitors Live Experience with a late lunch at The Ivy Market Grill, a posh and expensive restaurant on Covent Garden that lets you go "I had lunch at The Ivy" without having to actually go to the real Ivy in the West End or pay the astronomical prices required to become a member of The Ivy Club. I had a cheese souffle, a sirloin steak and a chocolate bombe for dessert. All of them were delicious and I am still stuffed even now, a good four hours after we finished eating. The diet has gone out the window for today, of course, but y'know what, it doesn't matter. I had a good time, and I can be back on track tomorrow. It's not as if I'm going to be eating like that every day, after all.

Anyway, all in all it was a very good day, and I'm glad I went along. I'm knackered now, though; on paper it might not sound like we did all that much, but when you take into account the train travel in both directions, add the walking required when progressing across London in various ways, add the energy required to keep your social batteries topped up for most of a day with the same group of people, it all adds up. So I'm back home now, writing this in my pants, feeling thoroughly satisfied. Probably an early night tonight, though.

Although Silent Hill f did arrive today, so…

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#oneaday Day 464: Last full day in the forest

It's our last full day of holiday today. Technically we are still "on holiday" tomorrow, but we have to check out of the accommodation at 10am, so our plan is to get up, have some breakfast, pack, skedaddle out of the lodge and then have a last hurrah in the pool before leaving for proper realsies.

Technically we're apparently allowed to stay on the site until midnight, but I feel that is probably only really of value to those who 1) have booked a full day of activities and 2) have the energy to expend on a full day of activities. We do not fall into either of those categories, so it will be a case of enjoying the pool for one last time, then heading off and chilling out at home for the remainder of the day. That's my plan, anyway; Andie has to take her mother back home (she's been looking after our cats while we've been away) but she also has Tuesday off, whereas I'm back to work on Tuesday.

This time away has done me a lot of good, as I hoped it would. It has allowed me to simply "switch off" from all the things that had been weighing on my mind, relax, recentre myself, focus and reflect on a few things. There are some changes I need to make in my life, both personally and professionally, and having this time away has allowed me to put those things in perspective and feel a bit more determined and positive about that. I hasten to add that these "changes" are nothing that anyone needs to be concerned about; they're pretty much all to do with my own physical and mental wellbeing, both of which, I'm sure you can tell from recent posts, have been kind of in the toilet for a while.

It's important to take breaks. It's really important to take breaks. Ideally, one should take breaks before one starts suffering from intense burnout, which I'd been feeling rather acutely in the run up to this holiday, but at least I was able to actually enjoy the holiday rather than spending the entire time feeling miserable. We've had a thoroughly lovely time, done some things we've never done before — the spa day was thoroughly pleasant, and we'd very much like to do that again — and we're both feeling pretty re-energised for the challenges ahead.

Plus we'd both like to see our cats again. It has been fun to see the squirrels and the deer and the semi-feral cats out of our patio window, but I'm looking forward to having a proper cuddle with Patti and Oliver when we get back, assuming they're not too mad with us for leaving them for so long. They get on very well with Andie's mum, thankfully, so they've been in good hands; even Patti, who typically bolts and hides when strangers show up, doesn't take long to come out of her shell and spend time with Andie's mum any time she comes to stay, so we know they'll have both enjoyed the best care and attention.

So with that in mind, I probably better get to bed. If we're checking out at 10am, we have to get up reasonably early (by the standards of this holiday, and by the standards of our usual "day off lie-ins", anyway) and I would like to be at least semi-conscious while packing my stuff up. And thus, on that note, I bid you all a very good night from the depths of the forest.

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#oneaday Day 463: The exact opposite of clubbing

As a preamble to the following, I will grant you, dear reader, that it has almost certainly been approaching 20 years, if not more, since I went out on an excursion that one might describe as "clubbing". Since that time, I've been to pubs and bars, some of which played music too loud to be conducive to meaningful conversation with one's peers, but I have not had what, in the early 2000s, we might have referred to as "a large one" for a very long time.

That said, I do still remember the experience quite well. Right back to my teenage years, in fact, when we used to sneak into our nearest nightclub, Enigma, when we were underage. This was always a bit of a mission for me in particular, since I lived seven miles away from most of my friends, and Enigma itself was another 12 miles or so away from them. These excursions took planning, and as such, we tended to want to try and make the most of them.

Likewise, at university, we often had nights out at what one might describe as a "club", but they were mostly pokey little hole-in-the-wall places, usually built around one specific theme. The one (and as far as I'm aware, only) "big club" in Southampton was, at the time of our university attendance, known as Ikon and Diva, and it was subsequently rebranded as Oceana before being bulldozed off the face of the planet a few years back. It was, like Enigma, a bit of an Event any time we decided to go there, because it involved getting right into the city centre, while most of us lived a little further out — near the university, oddly enough.

Enigma, Ikon and Diva were all kind of shit, as I recall, but like I say, we used to like to make the most of our time there. I was often too wasted to really remember much of the specifics of what happened at these places (and the tactical approach was usually to get wasted before entering the club so you didn't have to pay its exorbitant bar prices, but not so wasted that the bouncers wouldn't let you in) but I do have vague memories of them being large complexes where people would hang out, drink and dance, and there would be multiple themed rooms. Ikon and Diva was called as such because of its two main rooms: Ikon played popular, modern dance music (typically house and trance, as I recall) while Diva was "the cheese room" where they'd play everything from '70s hits to S Club 7.

The reason I say all this is because our time at the Longleat Forest Aqua Sana spa this evening was almost the exact opposite of the clubbing experience. It's a place you spend an exorbitant amount of money to get into, just like a nightclub, and once you're in there you are free to mill around and move between various different themed rooms. But the aim at Aqua Sana, in contrast to, say, Ikon and Diva, is to get thoroughly relaxed rather than paralytically drunk and, ideally, into the pants of someone you saw for the first time that evening and thought "they're a bit of all right".

This idle thought occurred to me while I was relaxing in the "Forest Cave" room at Aqua Sana. Lying back in the heated, contoured lounger, surrounded by artificial but convincing cave walls, gazing up at the skylight and watching the sun set, I felt thoroughly at peace with the world — something that I don't think I can say with any great confidence that I ever felt while going out clubbing. In fact, as I recall, more often than not I'd get so drunk I'd get a bit maudlin at not having the confidence to ever approach anyone I had seen for the first time that evening and thought "they're a bit of all right" and, in many cases, sneaking off home without telling anyone. My least proud moment in this regard was the time when I successfully escaped from going clubbing during the walk down to the bus stop that would take us into town. Several of us doubled back and played Half-Life using the free phone connections between our rooms instead.

Anyway, all this is an exceedingly long-winded way of saying that Andie and I had a thoroughly agreeable time at the Aqua Sana today. We tried most of the 24 "spa experiences" that were available to us, and both of us determined that we like saunas and steam rooms a lot more than we both thought we did. Turns out neither of us had ever really been to a good sauna or steam room, with our respective experiences mostly consisting of hotel saunas (a shed in the corner of the car park) and steam rooms (a hot cupboard next to the swimming pool) rather than, y'know, somewhere that does it properly.

And man, it sure is nice to just relax. You're not allowed to take your phone in to the spa, thank goodness, so all there is to do is just sit back, relax, perhaps reflect on a few things, maybe even have a nap. There are, in fact, several rooms set aside specifically for napping, and while I think it might be a bit of a waste of your entry fee to go along to a place like Aqua Sana and just nap in one of these rooms, I also wouldn't blame anyone who did.

You have a lot of options in that regard, too. As well as the aforementioned Forest Cave, which is a prime nap spot so long as your bladder isn't susceptible to the sound of trickling water, there was another room downstairs that was just pretty dark and filled with contoured, heated loungers, then in a room beyond that a room with straight-up water beds. There were several other rooms with comfy sofas and beds to use, too; we tried most of them during our visit, and the thought only occurred to us after we'd been there a while that we wondered how many people per year got thrown out for boning. (No-one was, to our knowledge, engaging in such activities while we were there, even though there were plenty of couples, like us, sharing the beds.)

So all in all, it was very nice. And, as a fat, unfit fortysomething, spending £75 for four hours of chilling out in nice-smelling hot rooms and then being provided with beds and other comfy things to nap on sounds infinitely preferable to spending an indeterminate amount of money getting pissed in a darkened room, being unable to have a conversation with anyone without yelling, having to negotiate drunken strangers and having to moderate one's alcohol intake to find the perfect balance between being pleasantly wobbly, maudlin and vomity vomity.

We're already making idle plans to come again next year. This was a good choice. Well done, me.

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#oneaday Day 425: Train crazy

For this month's trip down to the office, as I alluded to yesterday, I decided to take the train instead of driving. This is a somewhat more pricy option, but it takes a similar amount of time in total and means I don't have to drive on the M25. I do, however, have to get from London Waterloo to London King's Cross via the Underground, which is fine on the way there but a tad busy on the way back.

For the most part, though, I think it was a successful experiment. I enjoyed being able to just zone out for the longer portions of my journey (particularly the 90 minute train ride from Southampton to Waterloo) and I actually got a lot of reading done; I've been ploughing through Jane Eyre for a while, and I think I made more progress through it on this trip than I have in the last month of casually reading a chapter before falling asleep of an evening.

I've always liked travelling by train. I think part of this stems from some trips I took with my parents as a child. I have oddly vivid memories of slamming manual train doors at Royston station — this was the days before pretty much all passenger trains had automatic sliding doors like they do now — and I also recall my excitement at the prospect of getting "the Whizzer" (the then new-ish Intercity 125 high-speed train) for a trip to York to, among other things, visit the railways museum. (Apparently I enjoyed riding the Whizzer so much that upon arriving at York, I immediately wanted to ride it all the way home again.)

I also have fond memories of occasionally having the opportunity to get various types of train set out when I was a kid. I had a Brio wooden train set that I enjoyed making creative layouts with — my favourite was the time I made a fully functional rollercoaster using the fence posts from the "farmhouse" scenery I had as track supports — and if I'd been really good and asked my Dad nicely enough, we could get the Hornby train set out of the loft and have a play with that.

We had enough track for that to build a reasonably complex layout on the dining table, a big station building that looked a bit like King's Cross circa 1985 (albeit without the hookers and drug dealers) and several trains, including a little green steam engine I called Percy (after the Thomas the Tank Engine character) and a scale model of the famous Flying Scotsman. I recall the Flying Scotsman actually being rather difficult to drive, because it was a big old beast that actually needed to slow down for corners. Percy, meanwhile, could zip around with relative impunity.

I've had a little go at some train simulator games, most notably Dovetail Games' Train Sim World series. I enjoyed the little I've played, but I'm always a bit conscious when playing one of those that there is a lot of sitting around not doing very much when riding the longer routes. Yes, this is authentic to the real thing — and is a criticism one can level at other simulators such as Microsoft Flight Simulator — but it always makes me wonder if I perhaps should be doing something else with my time. This is a mindset I should probably train (no pun intended) myself out of, because if you enjoy yourself and got something out of the experience — which I definitely have in past jaunts in Train Sim World — then it doesn't really matter how "efficiently" you spent your time.

In fact, yeah, I convinced myself. I should reinstall Train Sim World and spend some more time with it. Probably not tonight though. All that train travelling is, it turns out, surprisingly tiring!

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#oneaday Day 263: Room service

It is, if you will pardon my deliberate misuse of a term typically used to mean something else, that time of the month again: the time when I get to drive two and a half hours from my home, hole up in a hotel for the evening and then go in to the office tomorrow.

The hotel I normally stay at, known as The Broadway, is quite nice. The rooms are pleasant and the beds are comfortable. My only real objection is that its bathrooms are very inconsistent. Sometimes I'll get a room with a lovely big bath, which it is a delight to luxuriate in after that long drive. And at others, you'll get ones like the one I have this time, featuring a shower cubicle far too small for a human being (let alone a larger gentleman such as myself) and a toilet placed in such a way that you have to lean around the toilet paper dispenser to be able to sit down and do a poo.

Oh, and they use those horrible office-style single sheet toilet roll dispensers, too. I have taken to bringing my own proper toilet roll rather than spend my poos here scrabbling away at sheets of toilet paper far too thin to have any practical purpose whatsoever.

The one thing I will particularly compliment the Broadway on is its food. In the morning, you get a lovely breakfast included, and it's much better than what you'd get in something like a Travelodge or Premier Inn, in that someone cooks it for you to order rather than batch cooking everything and leaving it to congeal under heat lamps.

I hadn't had dinner here before, so I thought I'd treat myself this evening, and it was excellent. I had a full rack of ribs followed by a chocolate sundae, and both were delicious as well as being generous portions. Bad for the diet, of course, but these trips away always mess with any good intentions to eat healthily, anyway. Back on track when I get home tomorrow.

Tomorrow's session at work promises to be interesting. Rather than just a regular day at the office, we're having a day of brainstorming product ideas, so I'm intrigued to see exactly how ambitious the organisers think we should be. I obviously won't be able to tell you anything that is decided or discussed tomorrow, but I have some fun ideas that it will hopefully be enjoyable to brainstorm a bit.

And with that in mind, it's probably time to get some sleep. So I'm off to do just that.

2457: Time Away

Andie and I have spent a couple of days in Bournemouth, not for any particular reason, just to "get away" from it all. I won't speak for Andie, but certainly in my case, it was much needed.

I've been wracked with stress and anxiety of months now, largely due to relentless feelings of inadequacy, worthlessness and uselessness due to the seemingly never-ending job hunt. I've described these feelings before, but they bear repeating: I know I have so much to offer the world, and it's inordinately frustrating that it seems nigh impossible to convince the people who hold the pursestrings of that fact.

All that said, just before we left on Monday morning, I was contacted by a recruitment consultant for a job that I feel I can do, and I also put in an application for another job that I felt quite confident about. I'm not going to get my hopes up too much for either of them, but, well, they're something at least, which is in stark contrast to the fat lot of nothing I've heard from a variety of employers for the last few months.

The time away has been nice, though it's made me realise quite how much I carry stress in my body as well as my mind. Today in particular, I've just been absolutely exhausted, and all I've wanted to do is sleep. Quite a lot of today has been taken up with napping, to be perfectly honest, but it's been nice; Andie could evidently do with a break, too, so it's been thoroughly pleasant to be somewhere that we can just rest without having to worry about anything that we were supposed to be doing. Our only commitments each day have been getting up in time for breakfast, and getting somewhere in time for dinner service.

The hotel we're staying at is really nice. It's got a very 1950s Art Deco feel about it — including the stereotypical Art Deco font — but it doesn't feel "old" at all. It's in good condition and clearly very modern, but the overall aesthetic of it is clearly inspired by Art Deco.

There's a poncey restaurant here, too; on our first day, we were fortunate enough to win a £25 voucher for it, so we had dinner there last night. The restaurant, I feel, struck a good balance between the "modern cooking" that I find so unsatisfying and providing actually flavoursome, generous portions of good food. I had some scallops for a starter, an excellent burger for a main and possibly the best trifle I've ever had, ever for dessert. (The custard clearly had cream in it, there was a big dollop of clotted cream on top and there were plenty of strawberries throughout.)

Tonight, meanwhile, we went to the hotel next door for dinner; as well as a fancy restaurant, they have a pub, so we enjoyed some hearty traditional British pub food. Even that was really good, though; I had a macaroni cheese that clearly had actual proper cheese in it rather than being a microwave jobby.

Back home tomorrow, and while I'm not sure I'd say I'm revitalised and refreshed — I still feel pretty tired — I do feel a little more inclined to face the challenges ahead. One day at a time, I guess.

1873: PAX East, Day One

Day one of PAX East 2015 today, and we had a pretty good day, though my legs haven't ached this much for a very long time. It's been quite some time since I had occasion to stand up for the vast majority of the day, let alone walk around a whole bunch, and consequently it's been a bit of a shock to the system!

We've seen plenty of cool stuff, though, and we exhibited our pro-1337 Final Fantasy XIV skills in public by expertly taking down Shiva in a single attempt in front of everyone, then getting a T-shirt and a patch for our efforts. We also got a brief look at Final Fantasy Type-0 HD, which is looking lovely, but we didn't get close enough to have a play because the line was too long. (In fact, the guy manning the line pretty much gave us posters to get us to go away.)

I got to see my former colleague Cassandra over as Ysbryd Games, too — she didn't recognise me at first as, I quote, "there are a lot of white dudes with beards here", but halfway through her sales pitch for the excellent VA-11 HALL-A she realised who she was speaking to and whisked me behind the booth's curtains for a private look at the demo build without having to wait for people to finish playing it on the show floor. VA-11 HALL-A is looking wonderfully promising, incidentally; one to keep an eye on, for sure, as I noted when I last took a peek at it over at MoeGamer.

Then this evening we sat in on a Giant Bomb panel which was pretty entertaining — though, I must confess, not being a particularly regular viewer of their content, some of the references went right over my head. They're a charismatic, entertaining bunch, though, and clearly comfortable dealing with the public even when they ask awkward questions.

Tomorrow will probably be slightly more laid back. We're getting there reasonably early in time for the Final Fantasy XIV panel, which will reveal some of the first concrete details of the upcoming expansion Heavensward, and from there… well, who knows.

For now, though, bed is calling. Very loud.

1764: An Outing with Owls

It's our second (and final) full day here at Center Parcs. We both woke up extremely stiff all over after what was a pretty busy day yesterday, so we had a relaxing morning. We headed over to a cafe in the main plaza area to have some breakfast — a pretty magnificent Eggs Royale (Eggs Benedict with smoked salmon instead of ham) accompanied by spinach and some really nice if slightly salty crispy potato bits.

After that, we had a little wander around the shops in the plaza, which we hadn't really explored a great deal. We paid particular attention to the sweet shop, which offered the typically overpriced pick and mix, a selection of American sweets (including Nerds, Runts and Gobstoppers, the latter two of which I haven't seen for years), some nice looking ice-cream and a selection of fudge that would put Cornwall's finest to shame. We came away with a box full of fudge of various flavours and have been enjoying that over the course of the day. Pro-tip: chocolate fudge with Oreos in it is proper delicious.

Our main activity for the day was "An Outing with Owls", which we signed up for largely on the promise of being able to see some owls, since owls are pretty cool. I wasn't quite sure what to expect from the session, but it turned out to be a lot of fun, with everyone getting the opportunity to get their falconry on and let owls of various sizes land on their (leather glove-protected) hands while they nommed on bits of chicken. These well-trained birds swooping from person to person is an impressive thing to witness, and not a little disconcerting when one comes flying straight for you before perching politely on your hand until it's had something to eat.

We got to see a selection of owls, ranging from a barn owl to a Great Grey, which, true to its name, was both grey and massive. (And dubbed "Clock Owl" by Andie and I, due to the fact that when it was sat on its perch prior to the session, it had the size, shape and appearance of a rather feathery mantelpiece clock.) There was also a South American burrowing owl, which was kind of adorable, too; rather than swooping around as the larger owls did, this tiny little thing preferred to scurry around on the floor, then occasionally leap and fly up onto anywhere that took its fancy — knees, hands, shoulders and even, on one particularly memorable occasion, the top of a gentleman's hat.

We came back to the apartment for a well-earned rest after that, and we're shortly to have one final night-time session in the Subtropical Swimming Paradise before grabbing some dinner.

It's been a very pleasant — if quite expensive! — couple of days away, and I predict it will be quite tough to go back to reality on Tuesday! Such is the way with holidays, though; good times have to end at some point and we all have to make our way back to the humdrum nature of our daily existences.

Still, for now, there's still more to enjoy, so we're going to make the most of it.

1762: Minibreak

It's Andie's 30th birthday soon, so I wanted to do something nice. Rather than taking the "present" route, however, I decided to book us some time away at a place I've been wanting to come back to for many years now: Center Parcs.

For the unfamiliar, Center Parcs is a chain of holiday villages scattered throughout the UK and across Europe. They have that holiday village "thing" of being largely identical to one another, regardless of which one you go to, so the fact that Andie and I have come to the much closer Longleat Forest incarnation of the chain rather than the Elveden Forest one I went to several times as a young 'un is still filling me with a certain degree of nostalgia — plus, I won't lie, a pleasing amount of feeling that I'm a "proper" adult for booking something like this and my parents not being involved in any way whatsoever.

Anyway. I have very fond memories of my various previous visits to Center Parcs. They're situated in idyllic forest locations, and provide plenty of opportunities to walk and cycle around without having to worry about cars — cars are only permitted on site on Fridays and Mondays, which are also the only days you can check in or out. The accommodation is good-quality, too, taking the form of either small apartments (which we've gone for) or, if you're in a larger group, villas and log cabins of various sizes. All of these are furnished very nicely, kept in good condition and set up in such a way that you can self-cater your holiday if you so desire; those feeling lazy and/or flush with cash, meanwhile, can take advantage of the various restaurants available in the main plaza building — which, this time around, we're conveniently about a minute's walk from, which is nice.

There's a wide variety of different activities on offer at each Center Parcs, although on previous visits I didn't partake in that many of them. This time around, we're going to try some archery tomorrow and spend some time with some owls on Sunday. I predict we'll probably be spending a fair amount of the rest of our time at the "Subtropical Swimming Paradise" — the huge pool complex that forms the centrepiece of each Center Parcs plaza, and a place that I fondly remember as one of the best water-based experiences ever.

The Subtropical Swimming Paradise is pretty great, for numerous reasons. Firstly, it's huge, providing a large swimming pool-cum-wave machine pool for actually swimming properly in, a slow river to get caught in, several excellent water slides (a long, slow flume, a short fast flume and a large white straight-down slide) and a white water rapids to fling yourself down with enthusiasm. Secondly, it's warm — that "subtropical" bit isn't an exaggeration, since the whole place is deliberately made warm and humid to feel like you're really on holiday while you're in there; it also allows various tropical plants scattered around the area to thrive, giving the whole place a really nice look, particularly when compared to your usual municipal pool. Thirdly, it's kind of beautiful at night-time — there are several outdoor pools lit by coloured underwater lighting, and the warmth of the water combined with the cool night air makes for a very pleasant experience. Going down the Rapids, which is largely outdoors, is also a lot of fun at night-time.

Today we've had a fairly relaxed day getting here, doing a bit of shopping for tonight's dinner and tomorrow's breakfast (though we forgot eggs and oil — back to the shop tomorrow morning!) and booking our activities for the next couple of days. Tomorrow, as previously noted, we're going to shoot arrows at things and probably spend a fair amount of time in the pool, then the day after we're going to hang out with some owls. Exactly what we're going to do with the owls remains to be seen, but Andie likes owls so it seemed like a fun thing to do.

Anyway. Being away from home means being away from my Mac, Comic Life and Paintbrush so no comics for a few days, I'm afraid. I'm sure you'll survive, though. You'll just have to read my thrilling prose instead, huh?