Apologies for the Rage Explosion yesterday, that just needed to come out. So I let it. Because you know what? Sometimes it is healthy to do that. Sometimes it is good to acknowledge that Shit Going On In The World is actually bothering you, even if it's not something that is necessarily happening to you, directly.
This was the primary subject we talked about in therapy this week. I have been struggling with a general sense of fatigue and depression for a while now, and since there's not really much going "wrong" with my personal or professional lives right now, the only thing I can really attribute it to is a continual sense of being completely and utterly fed up with, as the cliché goes, "(waves arms around) ALL THIS".
It is easy to get yourself into a mindset where you start telling yourself that you should not waste time and energy worrying about things which are not directly and immediately affecting you, personally. Focus on your own general wellbeing and being a good person, the conventional wisdom goes, and you'll be happy, even if no-one else is.
Except that isn't true. No man is an island, and in this interconnected modern world, it is very fucking difficult to disconnect completely from What Is Happening In The World. Not just because we are perpetually bombarded with it thanks to a combination of traditional and social media, but because What Is Happening In The World is having a marked, measurable and demonstrable impact on the basics of human interaction: the way we are with one another, the way we treat one another and the way we talk to one another.
Part of the reason that All of This™ is so exhausting is because it often feels like there is no escape from it. These days, even small, private little communities primarily drawn together for friendship and mutual support reasons often end up devolving, at some point, into arguments about politics, AI and all the other shit. I have a few spaces online that have remained mercifully immune to that — but just as many where I simply don't want to raise my head and show my face any more, because I just cannot be arsed battling my way through all the yelling and the arguing and all the inexplicable water carrying for big corporations who very much do not have our best interests at heart.
Sociologists often suggest a lot of today's problems stem from the lack of A Third Place for most people: somewhere you can go that is not your home or your work. For many of us now, our home and are work are already the same thing, which has its own issues, of course, but with the massive decline in Third Places for people to go and do things and interact with other three-dimensional people, it's perhaps no surprise that the overall feelings of unrest that everyone is experiencing come out in the way they talk to one another online. After all, the person you're yelling at isn't "real", are they? They're just text on your screen.
Anyway, my thoughts have meandered through that somewhat, but the upshot of it all is simple. It's okay to feel run down, burnt out and fatigued by What Is Happening In The World, even if it's not something that appears to directly affect you. Because it does affect you. It affects where you feel safe, where you feel comfortable, where and how you want to express yourself. And if you find that The Way Things Just Are Now makes you feel like the number of places where you feel safe, comfortable and able to express yourself has contracted… well, you're not alone. That's very much where I am right now. And I'm not going to pretend it's otherwise.
Want to read my thoughts on various video games, visual novels and other popular culture things? Stop by MoeGamer.net, my site for all things fun where I am generally a lot more cheerful. And if you fancy watching some vids on classic games, drop by my YouTube channel.
If you want this nonsense in your inbox every day, please feel free to subscribe via email. Your email address won't be used for anything else.
Speaking with YouTuber Cheeky Pint, OpenAI's CEO Sam Altman said that "from a global allocation perspective, actually, it's quite terrible to have everybody have a bunch of the world's limited supply of DRAM sitting in their own computer, and being used maybe 5% of the time. Like, you want maximum utilisation in the cloud if you're trying to deal with this very supply constrained environment. And somehow many people's intuition is the opposite of that."
In response — and I appreciate I am a nobody, and that Clammy Sammy will never see this — I say the following.
Fuck you, Sam Altman. Fuck you five ways to Sunday. Fuck you for ruining the exciting world of tech with your garbage hallucinating "AI can make mistakes" chatbots, which is all that fucking tech seems to be now. Fuck you for ruining the world of creativity with your slop-peddling six-fingered piss-filter image models. Fuck you for ruining the world of music by stealing the world's compositions and allowing people with no taste to churn out song-shaped objects and claim they are being creative. Fuck you for ruining the world of writing with your cliché-spouting text generation models. Fuck you for taking the em-dash, the rule of threes and rhetorical questions from writers, who now cannot use any of those things without being accused of "being AI".
Fuck you for making my day job harder with your cuntish technology driving up not just RAM prices, but all tech prices. Yes, that's right, fuck you for being the one who fucking created this "supply constrained environment" that no-one asked for, and which didn't need to happen. Fuck you for your greed and avarice making it a thousand times harder for us to bring simple joy to people through the things we make. Fuck you for making it so there is so much distrust in the space we work in. Fuck you for the times we have had to fend off harassment and threats because some cunt we worked with used your garbage tech without telling us.
Fuck you for ruining my hobbies. Fuck you for even suggesting that people should not own and enjoy their own computer. Fuck you for corrupting a space that was once devoted to the joy of celebrating the past and learning from it with slopped-up, barely functional projects that no-one in their right mind will ever want to maintain. Fuck you for discouraging the people who still want to do things using their brain. Fuck you for the million and one arguments that have erupted in social media replies, comments sections, Discord servers, WhatsApp groups and forums over this useless garbage, thanks to the army of sycophants queueing up to fellate your robo-cock in exchange for seemingly no discernible benefit whatsoever. Fuck you for making it so I can't be excited about a new announcement of anything any more without checking to see whether or not it's been churned out by the slop machine.
Fuck you for what you've done to the world. Fuck you for the cognitive surrender you have triggered, the AI psychosis you've nurtured and the people you've killed with your irresponsible garbage technology. Fuck you for the mistrust you've sown, the ticking time bomb you have made the economy, the wedges you've driven between groups of friends, families and those with common interests. Fuck you for making everything more expensive. Fuck you for depriving people of joy. Fuck you for your self-important arrogance in thinking you — you! a massive cunt! — are the one to lead humanity to a better tomorrow.
Fuck you, Sam Altman. I hope an entire data centre falls on your stupid face, and that everyone who has been saving old RAM sticks "just in case" takes a moment to jam them right up your fucking arse if you're so desperate for them.
Also, Wario Amodei, Jensen Huang, Satya Nadella, Sundar Pichai and everyone else who has made 2020-2026 what it has been so far? Fuck you for all the above, too. History will hold you accountable for the damage you have done to our world, and to humanity as a whole.
Want to read my thoughts on various video games, visual novels and other popular culture things? Stop by MoeGamer.net, my site for all things fun where I am generally a lot more cheerful. And if you fancy watching some vids on classic games, drop by my YouTube channel.
If you want this nonsense in your inbox every day, please feel free to subscribe via email. Your email address won't be used for anything else.
Patrick Stewart has passed away at the age of 86. This one really, really hurts, so I thought I'd talk a bit about that today, since as I type this, the news has pretty much literally just broken.
Patrick Stewart is one of those actors who, once you had let him into your life in any way, remained in your heart constantly. His warmth, the depth of the characterisation he brought to his roles, and the way he always just seemed to be a generally affable sort of person; he was that unique breed of individual where you felt like he was a far-off friend, even if you'd never met him.
Like most people, I first became aware of him through Star Trek: The Next Generation. Watching this was something of a ritual in my household growing up, because BBC2 constantly showed episodes of it (usually out of order) at 6pm, which was around the time we were usually settling down to have some dinner in the kitchen. We'd pop the little TV in the corner of the room on, eat our food and spend some quality family time together enjoying the show — often lightly poking fun at aspects of it. My Dad always made a joke of how he found it frustrating that every episode they "cheated" — his way of referring to the series' iconic "technobabble" — but it was just a light-hearted jab; we all loved that show, and it brought us together.
I think in some respects Patrick Stewart's depiction of Captain Jean-Luc Picard resonated so deeply with me because, in many ways, he reminded me of my Dad. Not in terms of looks or being a space captain or anything, but there was just sort of something about Picard's manner which always, in a strangely ill-definable way, reminded me of my father. I can't really explain it. It was just sort of a feeling. And, if anything, I became more aware (or conscious, I should perhaps say) of this in relatively recent years. Make no mistake, though; Picard was Space Dad.
I think part of the reason why Stewart's passing has hit me so deeply — and this is a difficult thing to contemplate, let alone write about, so forgive me, but now is the time if ever there was one — is because I am keenly aware that my real, actual, non-Space parents aren't getting any younger, and there is going to be a time at some point in the future where I will have to come to terms with a world where they aren't there any more. It's not something anybody ever wants to have to think about, it's something that I hope isn't going to happen any time soon, and it's something that, to be perfectly honest, terrifies me. But when someone like Patrick Stewart passes on, one can't help but contemplate questions of mortality, for one's own self, and for the ones close to you.
He was a presence that, in some strange way, I think we all thought would always be present in our lives, somehow, and I guess he still is, thanks to his magnificent body of work. But the world is a bleaker, darker place without our Captain, and it feels like all the "good ones" are being taken from us unjustly, while the one octogenarian that everyone really wants to keel over dead just keeps on chugging along, shitting his pants and dribbling the product all over the world.
But let's not sully the memory of a great man with frustration and anger at a creature who is the exact opposite. Instead, I suggest you raise a glass, bellow "THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS" at your cat and salute the finest Captain — no, the finest role model — that Starfleet ever gave us… and a man who, in our world, we can honestly say that everyone is going to mourn the loss of.
Farewell, mon capitaine. May you find peace beyond the stars.
Want to read my thoughts on various video games, visual novels and other popular culture things? Stop by MoeGamer.net, my site for all things fun where I am generally a lot more cheerful. And if you fancy watching some vids on classic games, drop by my YouTube channel.
If you want this nonsense in your inbox every day, please feel free to subscribe via email. Your email address won't be used for anything else.
When I was a kid, I used to collect badges. I stored them in an old Cadbury's Fingers tin which, as it happens, my parents had been holding onto. This weekend, I reclaimed this box, so I thought it might be fun to go through and see if I can remember what on Earth these mementos relate to.
There are 69 of these buggers (nice, etc.) so I will be brief with each one — and, of course, there are some I simply don't remember the context for. But anyway! Let's 'ave a look, shall we?
In no particular order…
It's Garfield, spouting one of his occasional catchphrases. I don't believe this was a promotional tie-in for the video game Garfield: Big, Fat Hairy Deal, as the artwork and colour scheme doesn't match. It's more likely this was either a purchase bonus for one of the Garfield books, which my parents used to collect, or just something that was bought for me because I liked Garfield.
I was in the Cub Scouts when I was a kid, so it's not surprising that I have a badge themed after the broader Scouts organisation, sporting the distinctive fleur-de-lys icon and a rather militaristic, patriotic emblem that reminds me of the intro to Dad's Army. We were never involved in a World War while I was a child. Not that I remember, anyway.
This is likely a badge from some air museum or other. My Dad is a massive propellerhead and I had a casual enthusiasm for planes too — though primarily from the perspective of flying them on the computer. I suspect this came from a museum that had one of these helicopters on display somewhere, but there's no indication of the specifics.
Ernest Read was a conductor and music educator who ran a series of musical concerts specifically aimed at children between 1945 and the late 1990s. I evidently went to one and got this badge as a commemorative souvenir.
This one probably needs no introduction to viewers of my YouTube channel; it's a badge for Page 6 magazine, the Atari-centric publication that my Dad, my brother and I all contributed to at various points.
Drawing a bit of a blank on this one. As you can probably imagine, "Just Desserts" is a popular pun name for places that serve food. I suspect it's somewhere I went for a birthday or a party or something — or perhaps we just found it noteworthy that there was a place which served nothing but desserts.
This was, I suspect, a badge I got after getting some school shoes from Peter Lord, the name at the time for the chain of shoe stores attached to the Clarks footwear brand. I imagine the whole "Fit Feet" thing was some sort of "well done, you, a child, got your feet measured without being weird or annoying about it". Please do not be weird about feet in my comments section.
Harry Ramsden's is a chain of fish and chip shops here in the UK. Back when I got this badge, they weren't nearly as widespread as they are today — nowadays you can find them in most food courts and motorway service stations. I want to say the one we went to was in Devon or Cornwall, and it was An Event to go there.
This badge likely hails from the Dennis the Menace Fan Club, which I was a member of. "Softies" referred to the group of kids who were the perpetual butt of Dennis' jokes, led by Walter the Softy. Softies were implied to be effeminate, rich, posh kids and the natural antithesis to Dennis' mischief. Back when I read The Beano, the Softies were regularly bullied by Dennis and it's not unfair to say that, at times, this was not a great message to be sending to kids — particularly as the Softies' only sins at the time were being into things that were outside the typical definition of "masculinity". Consequently, in more recent years, Walter has apparently been made into a more antagonistic figure keen to stop kids having fun, rather than just being someone who was into "girly" things.
This one's pretty self-explanatory: it's from a visit to the Peak National Park in the UK. I forget the exact instance, but I probably went on a trip with my parents (and perhaps their friends who lived around the East Midlands) and acquired this then.
Here's a cool (and impossible to photograph) pin badge featuring the Psygnosis logo from the Atari ST days. This was most likely acquired from some computer show or other.
To go along with it, here's a more regular badge featuring the face of the company's owl mascot.
This appears to be a promotional badge for Crate-brand amplifiers. The company has been through numerous logos over the years; this would have likely been from the mid to late '80s. I've no idea where I got it — perhaps a music shop? My brother mainly used Marshall-brand amplifiers for his electric guitars, if I remember correctly.
Christmas! Hold on, there's another one like this somewhere…
Try not to get too angry about the missing comma. And try not to look at Santa's boots and see two grumpy faces. There, I ruined it.
Another Christmas badge. For context, the modern equivalent of this would be a badge that sad "I Met Father Christmas at Screwfix". Although from what I recall, our local Texas Homecare did make an effort with their Santa's Grotto display in the middle of the store. An attempt to placate the children who got dragged around there, no doubt; I absolutely hated going to Texas Homecare.
This is from Newark Air Museum. In an interesting coincidence, my Dad actually volunteers there now, but this badge is from many years ago — likely from an occasion when my Dad, his friend Mick and I went along to go and look at the aeroplanes.
I like how this badge says Bumblebee but doesn't actually depict Bumblebee. I did not have a Bumblebee toy, so I'm unsure where this would have come from.
Likewise this one; the only Decepticon toy I had was Astro-Train, who was a "Triple-Changer": he could be a robot, a space shuttle or a train. One of those always seemed somewhat less practical than the others.
Another tricky to photograph badge due to the reflective shiny bit. This is from Epcot at Disney World in Florida, I suspect from the second time we went, which would have been around… 1995, 1996 or so I reckon? (The first time we went was in 1985, and the second time was approximately ten years later.) It depicts the big "golfball" that houses (housed?) the Spaceship Earth ride. Epcot, if you're unfamiliar, is a campus that attempts to look at various aspects of "the future", as well as the history of how life and science have developed over time. It was thoroughly interesting as a kid, and I bet it's even better as an adult.
This one's a cool, understated badge. Promotional material for Fostex-brand audio equipment. No idea where it came from; I would guess a music shop or show.
This is from one of those trips I mentioned with my parents' friends from the East Midlands. Blue John is an attractive, semi-precious mineral that is showcased in a cavern in Derbyshire. It's one of those places where you get to go in a cool cave, but in an entirely safe, guided manner. I think I learned the difference between stalactites and stalagmites here; if you're curious what I learned, it's that stalactites cling "tite" to the ceiling, while stalagmites "mite" reach the ceiling if they grew enough.
This one would have been from a trip to Granada Studios in Manchester, where part of the attraction was the ability to walk on the Coronation Street set. For international readers, Coronation Street is one of several long-running soap operas we have in this country. I know very little about it other than the fact my Nan used to watch it.
This one would have come from a school book fair, where Puffin books made up the bulk of the inventory. Most of our "Reading Books" at school were Puffin-branded, and I had a fair few at home, too.
The Shuttleworth Collection was an air museum near Bedford, so quite close to where I lived as a kid. This would have been acquired during a visit there with my Dad — presumably when the aircraft depicted was on display.
Happy Eater was a chain of family restaurants here in the UK, usually found at service stations on major roads. They were not amazing quality, but they were popular destinations for kids' birthday meals and suchlike. This badge would have been acquired on one such occasion.
This one almost certainly came from a visit to Cadbury World, where you could tour the chocolate factory and find out about the history of chocolate — including trying the traditional Aztec chilli-and-chocolate drink. I remember it being a good day out.
This one, I think, is from the comedy show, Vic Reeves' Big Night Out, which my brother went to see. I'm not sure where, but I do remember him going to see it. This tour is where the Reeves and Mortimer double act was really born; Bob Mortimer has some fascinating stories about it in his autobiography.
This is a pin from Ely Cathedral, which is a cathedral in Ely, Cambridgeshire. I suspect we went there from school one day.
This is a musical badge from Coco Pops cereal. When it has a battery, flicking a switch on the back makes Coco's eyes flash and a bleepy rendition of the Coco Pops jingle from the TV ads play. An excellent tool with which to annoy every grown-up in a wide radius.
This is a promotional badge for the computer game SWIV by The Sales Curve, an unofficial follow-up to Taito's Silkworm. Back in those days, it wasn't at all unusual for arcade games to get homegrown "unofficial" sequels, and this was one of them that ended up arguably being better than its source material. I never owned a copy of SWIV myself, though, so I suspect this would have come via my brother, who was working on Games-X magazine at the time SWIV released.
This is a badge depicting the logo of BBC Radio 1, the popular music station for young people, from 1975-1990.
This is a badge depicting the logo of BBC Radio 2, the popular music station for old people, from the same period.
I bet you don't have a badge commemorating 50 years of pylons in the UK, do you? Be jealous!
Wimpy was a fast-food chain that was popular in the 1980s, and which has been making a slight comeback in certain areas in more recent years. They were noteworthy for having a long sausage called a Bender (which you could have in hot dog form as a Bender in a Bun, or included in a burger); in light of… alternative uses of that word, it is, today, known as a Bendy. Mr. Wimpy was the chain's mascot, with his uniform modelled after the traditional "Beefeater" uniform, emphasising the chain's Britishness. Here he is running around the rings of Saturn for some reason.
Here's another Mr. Wimpy badge that is only slightly racist.
Rainbird was a brand of software originally run by British Telecom. I have no idea what the "Dick Special" bit is about. Apparently it was a cancelled game. Thus, this likely either came from my brother on Games-X, or a computer show where the game was being previewed.
I imagine this was some variant of "pasta shapes in tomato sauce" with a spooky theme, though how I came by a badge promoting it I have no idea.
This is Paddington Bear. I'm pretty sure this badge originally belonged to my brother; I forget if he actually had a Paddington, but I have a vague memory of this once being attached to a teddy that may or may not have been a Paddington. Either way, I have it now, and the faded colours lead me to believe this is one of the older badges in the collection.
This was probably from a local newsagents or something. I do like the touch of the photograph at the top being rendered in the style of newsprint.
The Barbican Centre in London is a performing arts space; one day when I was a kid, they rebranded it the "Bearbican Centre" in an attempt to host the biggest ever teddy bears' picnic or something. There was a concert, as I recall, and the whole thing was a nice day out. Those who participated in the full spirit of things by bringing along a teddy bear (I think I brought a battered old Winnie the Pooh, or possibly Big Ted) got one of these badges.
No idea how I came by this as I didn't have an Intellivision and didn't know anyone with an Intellivision. Perhaps this came with a computer magazine or something? Either way, it's pretty neat. And I guess that answers my question as to whether or not Intellivision was A Thing over here. Unless this came from the States, which is… possible? But unlikely, I think.
From one of those times when the fire service comes to visit your school and put the fear of God into the assembled children about chip pan fires. Not sure how I feel about the mascot being an elephant who is nude aside from his belt, hat and boots.
It's great to be 6! The copyright on this is interesting, as it mentions both Hasbro Bradley and Walt Disney, so I assume there must have been something more explicitly Disney on the card this was attached to.
This appears to be from a brand of combine harvester, so I suspect this came from The Gransden Show, an annual agricultural fair held in my home village.
Likewise for this one. I can't think of any other scenario in which I would have acquired these, probably as freebies.
A rather fancy badge for BBC Radio Cambridgeshire. Not sure where this came from. Perhaps a visit to our school one day?
Get into books! GET INTO THEM.
Fun School 2 was a range of edutainment products for a variety of platforms, published by Europress. The Atari ST versions were composed in the STOS programming language. They were noteworthy for actually incorporating genuinely fun games where you happened to learn things. This one is from the package for the youngest players.
This one is from the "middle" package for slightly older kids.
And this was for the older kids. Only the older kids get the cool robot to play with!
This almost certainly came from a school trip to a local RSPB sanctuary. In unrelated news, we have seen a lot of jays at Center Parcs the last few times we've been to visit. They are greedy.
No idea on this one! Only thing I can find is a novelty song from 1982, but I have no recollection of ever hearing it.
Not sure on this one either. It's an elephant playing a grand piano. Perhaps from a kid-friendly concert or something?
The Jetsons had a movie? Apparently so, from 1990. I have no recollection of ever seeing it, but apparently I got this badge from it.
This, I believe, is from an airline company. TWA stood for Trans World Airlines. My only vague memory of them was flying on a plane called a "Tri-Star", which was a lot noisier than a Jumbo jet. I think we took a Tri-Star to get from one place to another on our trip to the States in 1985, which was a long trip where we moved around a fair bit. Beyond that, I forget the details, but apparently I got this as a souvenir at some point.
Not sure where this is from. The only hit for it on Google at the time of writing is someone selling the same badge on eBay for £1.97. It appears to be a promotional badge for something that dates back to the 1970s, but beyond that I have no idea.
If you thought Disney putting their characters on any old crap was a recent thing, I have terrible news for you. Here's Mickey and Minnie advertising the Abbey National Building Society, today known as Santander.
As the name suggests, the Commonwealth Institute is a place you go to learn about the Commonwealth. I have no recollection of ever going there, but I guess I must have done at some point. School trip, perhaps?
No idea, and as you can probably imagine, the term "Dolphin Club" is nigh-unGoogleable due to how generic a name it is!
Another self-explanatory one. This would have been on one of several family holidays down to Devon and Cornwall, likely one of the numerous occasions we stayed in Padstow. I remember very little about the museum. My main enduring memory of those holidays was going to Newquay and playing G-LOC in the sit-down moving cabinet.
Delabole Wind Farm was the first commercial wind farm in the UK, built in 1991, and is in Cornwall. I guess we must have paid it a visit during one of those aforementioned holidays?
The Museum of the Moving Image, or MoMI, is in New York. This badge must have been from 1985, as that's the only time I've been to New York other than on honeymoon with my first wife, and we didn't go there on that occasion. I remember this being a pretty cool museum, even in the '80s, though I often get it confused with Granada Studios in my head, as I believe both had interactive exhibits that allowed you to experiment with the tech used on real TV and film sets.
Duxford is another airfield-cum-museum that was reasonably close to where I grew up, so we had a fair few family trips there to go look at the planes, see air shows and suchlike. I remember both looking around the hangars at the planes, and having picnic lunches in the car park. They were good days out, as I recall.
Another bird-related badge. I suspect this also came from a trip to an RSPB sanctuary, or perhaps they visited our school to talk about endangered birds at some point. Either way, I remember being quite aware of the RSPB as a kid.
Clearwell Caves is in the Forest of Dean, which leads me to believe that we went there as part of our School Camp trip in Year 6. I didn't poo for a week on that trip because I was too afraid of the facilities.
Ferry Meadows was another school trip destination, with a particular emphasis on looking around at nature and doing sciencey things. I don't think it was a residential trip, but I do remember finding the name of the place quite striking. It just sounds nice, doesn't it? Ferry Meadows. It's near Peterborough, which is unfortunate, but you can't win 'em all.
This is a commemorative pin badge for Queen Victoria's diamond jubilee in 1897, which was celebrated between 1983 and 1997 with the Royalty & Empire exhibition in Windsor, developed as a collaboration between British Rail and Madame Tussauds. As you might expect from such a collaboration, it featured waxwork dioramas of events surrounding Victoria's diamond jubilee.
Finally, I have five Roland Pianos badges. At least some of these probably came with my Roland electric piano, but quite why I have five of them I have no idea. But there they are.
And that's the lot! Whew, that took a bit longer than I thought, but it's been interesting to go through them. If you happen to know anything about the ones I'm not sure on, please do feel free to chime in via the comments.
Otherwise, I'm off to bed!
Want to read my thoughts on various video games, visual novels and other popular culture things? Stop by MoeGamer.net, my site for all things fun where I am generally a lot more cheerful. And if you fancy watching some vids on classic games, drop by my YouTube channel.
If you want this nonsense in your inbox every day, please feel free to subscribe via email. Your email address won't be used for anything else.
Interesting discussion in therapy today. I happened to share that I had been experiencing some unusually intense emotional reactions to various pieces of music, including the Ace Combat 8 finale and the Little Tall Prince song I shared the other day. And I guess I hadn't completely considered why.
As is so often the case, though, talking about it in a supportive environment helped make things a little clearer or more obvious to me: it's about hope.
You surely have noticed that I do not think much of the state the world is in today. For so many reasons. There are days when it feels legitimately overwhelming how awful everything is. And thus I have found myself latching on to things that represent hope, and which are unafraid and unashamed to express hope. And, as a result, finding myself experiencing a world where genuine hope, at times, feels like it is in short supply, has given me a strong emotional reaction: a sincere desire that we can one day live up to that.
As I mentioned the other day, there's a sequence in Ace Combat 8's finale where your desperate struggle for survival and attempts to ensure the truth about the shitty corporation gets out ends up getting livestreamed to the world. Initially, the sound is chaos, but before long, the world is singing in harmony, expressing their collective support for your noble and just fight.
I found myself wondering: will we ever get there in the real world? Is that kind of hope just a dream of a fictional world, developed at least in part as a response to the mess we have made of things?
I don't really know the answer to that. Honestly, I suspect we'll never get there in our world. There are too many cultures and ideologies that just want to spend all their time at one another's throats.
But I so desperately want to believe that one day we'll get there. One day we really will be able to raise our voices in song, as one, and come together in support of a common cause. Heaven knows there are plenty of good candidates for said cause.
One day, perhaps. In the meantime, I suspect I will continue to shed tears for these earnest expressions of hope, or the possibilities life might hold for us.
I hope that one day, like the Little Tall Prince, we can see that it has all fallen down, so we pick it up.
Want to read my thoughts on various video games, visual novels and other popular culture things? Stop by MoeGamer.net, my site for all things fun where I am generally a lot more cheerful. And if you fancy watching some vids on classic games, drop by my YouTube channel.
If you want this nonsense in your inbox every day, please feel free to subscribe via email. Your email address won't be used for anything else.
The most interesting thing that happened to me today is that I lost my phone… for about twenty minutes, then I found it again. There is a little more to it than that.
Andie and I went out to Ikea earlier, because she had a £20 voucher that is expiring on Saturday, and we're away at the weekend, so we thought we might as well go and spend it. I wanted an additional storage box for Bits And Pieces, and we figured we'd almost certainly be able to make it up to the minimum required to use the voucher. We also took the opportunity to go and have a plate of meatballs and a cake, as is tradition when one goes to Ikea.
Anyway, on the way back we stopped at the petrol station to fill up the car ahead of our trip away at the weekend, and I realised that my phone wasn't in my pocket. Moreover, my watch wasn't connected to it via Bluetooth, so I couldn't hit the handy "Find My Phone" button to make it make a noise. Mild panic set in, but given that I was using the phone on the trip to Ikea and immediately after dinner, we figured there was only a finite number of places it could be. We went home to use the Web-based Find My Phone feature from Google to confirm it was where we thought it was — after a couple of failed attempts to connect, it did indeed appear where we thought it would be — and, from there, I was able to lock it and leave a message on its lock screen asking anyone who found it to call Andie's mobile.
Then, we got back in the car and drove back to Ikea. On the way, we got a phone call from my phone from a chap called "Logan" who had found my phone and was handing it in to the customer services desk. It had, as I suspected, fallen out of my pocket without me noticing when I got out of the car to pay for the parking ticket. After a quick bit of convincing a near-indecipherable woman on Ikea's customer service desk that I was, in fact, the owner of this phone, I was able to retrieve it and we were home again by 9pm. Hurrah.
Not exactly the way I wanted to spend my evening, no, but it does go to show that some things in tech do, in fact, still work the way they are supposed to in this desperately stupid age we live in. I was able to confirm my phone's location, lock it to prevent unauthorised access (including remotely signing it out of my Google account and removing my cards from the Wallet app), leave a message for anyone who found it and provide a number for people to call if they found it — and when I did recover it, I was able to quickly and easily sign back in without losing anything.
So much in tech is complete shit these days that I feel like we should celebrate these small little instances of Shit Doing What It's Supposed To Do when they do happen. So consider this my mark of appreciation for those few little bits of tech I had cause to use this evening — and which you hope you do not have cause to use frequently — that have not (yet) been completely enshittified.
Want to read my thoughts on various video games, visual novels and other popular culture things? Stop by MoeGamer.net, my site for all things fun where I am generally a lot more cheerful. And if you fancy watching some vids on classic games, drop by my YouTube channel.
If you want this nonsense in your inbox every day, please feel free to subscribe via email. Your email address won't be used for anything else.
I've run into a few creative works recently that were evidently put together with a great deal of earnestness, genuine thought and emotion. And people like them! But, more often than not, not without including some sort of "disclaimer".
Said disclaimer is usually some form of admission that "I know this is cheesy, but…" or "yes, this might be cringe, but…" before going on to give a genuine emotional response. For some people, it is seemingly difficult to just give that emotional response without feeling the need to justify it or explain it away.
Well, I'd like to say: own it! If you got hit in the feelings by something, that's okay! If you had an emotional reaction to something that was so strong it reduced you to a sobbing wreck, that's fine! That's good! You have a healthy relationship with your own emotions, and you are not afraid to express them!
I say this as someone who listened to this track from Ace Combat 8 earlier (which I knew the full narrative context of, having beaten the game a couple of days ago) and burst into full-on sobbing at it by the midpoint. Like, I was legitimately crying so hard I had to stop everything else I was doing.
If your immediate response to that is "wow, that's cheesy" or "I can't believe you admitted that", stop. Take a minute. Ponder why you are thinking that. Are you concerned about what other people might think of you if you exhibit some sort of vulnerability? Because that's not something you need to concern yourself with — particularly if you are sitting by yourself.
It's okay to have an emotional response to something. It's okay to have a physiological reaction to that emotional response. You aren't faulty. You aren't broken. You are being human — something it can sometimes feel like we are, in may ways, being discouraged from by the daily algorithmic bombardment from social media.
Sometimes those emotional responses can come from the strangest places — like the funny plane game.
Or perhaps a song developed by a father, based on the near-gibberish his young daughter writes as "stories":
My immediate response to this was just "aw, that's cute and adorable… and surprisingly well-produced for what is essentially a silly joke video". I won't lie, I listened to it multiple times in succession for its pure catchiness.
Then I read the comments to the "Living Room version" of the song (actually just the song with an animation rather than the vertical video of the chap singing). And the emotions hit me, hard.
Y'see, if you haven't listened to the song, the end part features the repeated motif that "everything all fell down, but he picked it up". In the context of the original story and lyrics, it's a silly moment; the main character, the "Little Tall Prince", dropped a cup in the grocery store which caused everything to fall over, so, being a good little prince, he picked it up. Simple, silly, right?
Except human beings have the tendency to ascribe meaning to things where it might not have been the original intent, but it most certainly fits. That video has comment after comment of people expressing the sincere hope that "we can pick it up" — that we can fix the world after "everything all fell down" over the course of the last few years or so.
The world is broken. Peoples' souls are broken. And they want nothing more than to begin the healing process. Little moments like this song give just a glimpse of a world we once knew; one where we could have hope for the future and not find ourselves continually enraged and saddened by the latest stupid, wasteful, obnoxious, tragic, violent, unjust things happening on a daily basis. Hope for the future, through the eyes of a child.
I saw the number of people expressing this sincere hope, completely earnestly, and it hit me right in the heart. I'm not too proud to admit that I shed a few more tears there. And listened to the song a good few more times.
I want to believe that we can pick it up. I want to believe that we can come together in a Song of Wings as one. It is not cringe, embarrassing or cheesy to think such things. Take a moment and have a good cry over something today. I can't guarantee you will necessarily feel better, but you will almost certainly feel some relief at having let out emotions that have probably been pent up within you for a long time.
That's what I felt after putting my own emotions through the wringer over the last couple of days. Sometimes self-care is just about allowing yourself to feel.
Want to read my thoughts on various video games, visual novels and other popular culture things? Stop by MoeGamer.net, my site for all things fun where I am generally a lot more cheerful. And if you fancy watching some vids on classic games, drop by my YouTube channel.
If you want this nonsense in your inbox every day, please feel free to subscribe via email. Your email address won't be used for anything else.
It has been a fairly boring day, so I will attempt to make it more interesting by talking about several things. Look at me go!
First up, my Analogue Pocket arrived today. Did I need another retro gaming handheld, particularly one that is quite pricy (and extremely pricy when you add the extortionate shipping and customs charges that come with getting one shipped to the UK)? No, of course I didn't. Did I get one anyway? Yes, of course I did. I have been interested in the Analogue Pocket ever since it was first announced and immediately sold out, so I have always been keeping an eye out for them becoming available again. As it happens, they became available again and I was in a position to be able to buy one without guilt, so that's exactly what I did.
I don't have a lot to report on it so far as I've only really set it up and given it a quick try with a few games so far. I am impressed from the little I've seen, though; the extremely, extremely high resolution screen means that it's capable of doing some wonderful display effects to recreate things like the original Game Boy's dot matrix display and the distinct "line" patterns on things like the Lynx and Game Gear displays. It can also do a nice Trinitron CRT simulation, as well as a number of other "generic" effects — or you can mix things up a bit, like applying a simulation of the DMG Game Boy screen onto something that would not have used that!
I'll doubtless have a lot more to say about it in the near future, but suffice to say for now that this thing seems to be built like a tank in handheld terms, and setting it up to use the MiSTer-style openFPGA cores using an application called PocketSync was quick and easy. PocketSync also takes care of things like downloading BIOS files, so it really is just a few clicks to get the thing set up to load any ROM you'd care to name on one of the supported platforms. It's nice to have the option for original cartridges, though, which was the Analogue Pocket's original unique selling point.
Anyway, that's the Pocket. Like I say, I'll do a more detailed writeup about it in the near future, as it's worth exploring in depth, I think. I'm particularly intrigued to try the nanoloop music creation software that comes built-in. It seems fiddly at first glance, but I'm sure once you get your head around the various button controls and know what everything does, it will become much more usable.
What else has happened today? I tried some American flavours of sugar-free Monster that one of our local convenience stores (the one we call "Funny Shop" to distinguish it from the nearby Tesco Express, and in homage to the fact that it sells unusual imported food products from around the world as well as domestic products) and they were both actually very nice. I tried the "Ultra Red White and Blue Razz" one, which is obnoxiously "patriotic", but, as the name suggests, just tastes of blue raspberry, while the Ultra Sunrise flavour might, in fact, be my all-time favourite Monster; it tastes like actual oranges. Not like orange soda flavour, like an actual orange. Highly recommended. I hope we see it more "officially" over here at some point; in the meantime, I will be counting on Funny Shop to keep me stocked.
I also tried the Taco variant of Buldak noodles. I have mixed feelings on this. It had a pleasant Mexican-esque smell once the powder and sauce went in, but in terms of flavour it was mostly overwhelmed by the Buldak hot sauce. The "flakes" pouch also contained some of the most unidentified foodstuffs I think I've ever seen. There was something that I assume was supposed to be a bit like taco meat, but I have no idea what it actually was, and it didn't really taste of anything. I am yet to find a Buldak variant that beats the regrettably discontinued Curry flavour, though the sweet fried chicken one is pretty good (yes, that means it is a sweet fried chicken flavour hot chicken flavour noodle) but seemingly getting a bit harder to find. I also tried the Rosé one the other day and had trouble distinguishing it from the Carbonara variant. It was nice, to be sure, and I'll probably seek it out again, but I'm not sure how it distinguishes itself from Carbonara.
Well, that's my day. I think a bit more handheld play is in my immediate future…
Want to read my thoughts on various video games, visual novels and other popular culture things? Stop by MoeGamer.net, my site for all things fun where I am generally a lot more cheerful. And if you fancy watching some vids on classic games, drop by my YouTube channel.
If you want this nonsense in your inbox every day, please feel free to subscribe via email. Your email address won't be used for anything else.
One of the things that I've wanted to do for many years is get to grips with really being able to program the Atari 8-bit. This will be a completely useless and unmarketable skill for me to learn, but with the Atari 8-bit in particular having always been so important to me, it feels like a natural step in my enjoyment of the hobby. Only trouble is: I don't really know where to begin!
I still have a vague knowledge of Atari BASIC from my days typing in listings as a kid and inventing my own programs way back when, but I suspect a lot of the intricacies may have fallen out of my head at some point, as I haven't really done anything substantial in Atari BASIC since… well, since it was current and relevant. Beyond that, though, there are a wide variety of things that are a complete mystery to me. And I think the sheer wealth of things it's possible to learn, even on an old computer like an Atari 8-bit, is what makes it so daunting.
Do you get in-depth about how to handle variables and strings? Do you figure out the mathematical functions? Do you learn what all the different default graphics modes do, and what they are best used for? Do you tinker with the sound capabilities of the POKEY sound chip? Do you learn how to display, move and otherwise use player/missile graphics, aka hardware sprites? Do you learn about the display list, and how a display list interrupt is a different thing from manipulating the display list? Do you learn what a vertical blank interrupt is, and how to use it? And at what point in all of this do you "graduate" from BASIC to machine code?
This constant string of questions, which I could have extended to at least five times that length, is probably the big thing that holds me back from actually dipping into "learning how to program the Atari 8-bit" as a serious hobby. I'm sure there isn't really a "bad" place to start — and having an idea of what I would like to be able to program is probably a good way of determining what things I should focus on looking at first — but it's that old Analysis Paralysis thing again; when confronted with seemingly infinite options, you end up choosing none of them.
So I think the answer is probably just to pick a book — of which there are many available on the subject of Atari 8-bit programming, coming at it from myriad angles — and work my way through it. All of it. Then, from there, I can learn where I might want to head next, or figure out where the gaps in my knowledge are. Ultimately, then, I can develop a solid understanding of all the things I might "need" to know in order to be able to program the system effectively.
The reason why this is all on my mind right now is, of course, because of the increasing number of AI slop projects I've been seeing in retro gaming. Over on the website Atarimania today, two out of the four new additions to the database have "developed using AI" disclaimers on them. And one might ask: why don't I just "get the AI to do it for me"? Surely it is easier than ever to shit out a program-shaped object using Claude (they had to pick the cuntiest name possible for it, didn't they?) and then convince everyone that "I made this"?
Well, no. If you've spent any time reading this blog over the last few years, you'll know that this would provide me with absolutely no satisfaction whatsoever. Just because "an easy option" exists now doesn't mean I want or need to take it. In fact, I feel like with how likely it is that the AI bubble is going to burst and all of this crap is just going to go away one day — and God, I long for that day — it is all the more valuable to learn how to do something like this properly.
What I'd love to be able to do is create a game for the Atari 8-bit. That feels like a very far-off goal right now — but one way of looking at it is that back in the '80s, people had a fraction of the reference resources we have today (and no, I don't count AI in that) and were still able to learn how to do these things in their own time relatively quickly. So with a bit of determination, dedication and actually setting a bit of time aside to do this, I feel like I might be able to learn something.
As I say, it'll be something that is mostly useless and not really marketable, but who cares? Remember a time when hobbies were just things you did because they were fun, and you didn't feel the need to monetise them or even share them with others? I'm thinking that's what this has to be. Something that is just for me; something that I want to learn for myself. Not because I want to make and sell a game, but just because it's something I've always wanted to learn, and to be able to make something for my own satisfaction.
So I think maybe for the rest of this evening I might go spend some time tinkering in Atari BASIC on the ol' MiSTer…
Want to read my thoughts on various video games, visual novels and other popular culture things? Stop by MoeGamer.net, my site for all things fun where I am generally a lot more cheerful. And if you fancy watching some vids on classic games, drop by my YouTube channel.
If you want this nonsense in your inbox every day, please feel free to subscribe via email. Your email address won't be used for anything else.
Musical comedy is a thing that is very difficult to get right. But when someone does get it right, it can be incredibly amusing.
I thought today I might share a variety of examples of musical comedy that I've always enjoyed, presented with the caveat that, as usual, these may not be on YouTube any more by the time you get around to reading this post. If that is the case, you'll just have to take my word for it that they were very funny indeed.
My most recent discovery in this regard is No Worries If Not! by Tom Cardy, an Australian musical comedian who makes well-produced music with endearingly low-budget videos, usually involving him in his home. This particular song is a foul-mouthed ode to being a freelance creative, and the disparity between the things you really want to say to your client, and the things that, if you are a socially anxious person — as many freelance creatives are — you actually end up saying.
I love the genuine-seeming anger in this one. Many people online will be able to relate to this one, I'm sure, particularly if they work in a creative field, but also if they're just someone who isn't naturally assertive. Kudos for the half-rhyme between "Please eat my butthole and call me king" and "Please don't email me after 4pm".
This is probably one of Tim Minchin's most well-known ones, but on the off-chance you've not seen/heard it before, I will let it speak for itself.
Sbassbear is a more niche pull, because it helps if you have at least a passing familiarity with Game Grumps beforehand — though they have done some of their own original stuff, too. The great thing about Sbassbear is that they take utterly ridiculous, silly moments from the Grumps' playthroughs of various games and turn them into legitimate bangers. This song, while based entirely on a throwaway comment about having low testosterone, is kind of beautiful in its own thoroughly stupid way.
This is one of my absolute favourite Aunty Donna sketches, not just because of the subject matter, but because it's so brilliantly produced, encompassing a range of different styles across the duration of one song. My favourite part is the Les Misérables bit, which is both hilarious and performed with admirable earnestness.
This is a particular breed of online musical comedy, involving cutting and pasting myriad clips of someone from television and online appearances, then mixing them into a solid track. Swedemason is the absolute master of this, as far as I'm concerned, and in the interests of not putting the disgraced face of Gregg Wallace in front of you for my former favourite track, Buttery Biscuit Bass, here's Mary Berry instead.
And an older classic to finish off with. This was one of the first tracks I ever heard from the Bonzo Dog Band, and I knew immediately that I was going to get on with their particular breed of nonsense. This is another great example of a clearly talented group of musicians doing a deliberately "bad" piece of music, and it only working because they're obviously skilled musicians. The clarinet solo in this is a work of genius.
There. Hope that's brightened up your Saturday evening. Enjoy!
Want to read my thoughts on various video games, visual novels and other popular culture things? Stop by MoeGamer.net, my site for all things fun where I am generally a lot more cheerful. And if you fancy watching some vids on classic games, drop by my YouTube channel.
If you want this nonsense in your inbox every day, please feel free to subscribe via email. Your email address won't be used for anything else.
