I wrote back in December about a series of recurring dreams I'd had about what Project Zero 3 made me think of as my own personal "Manor of Sleep". Last night I had a dream where I was reminded of another recurring "setting" — I believe this one is completely separate from the "Manor", but given dream logic, I can't rule out the possibility that they're connected somehow.

The Tower of Dreams, as I'll call it, has a fairly opulent-looking — if somewhat dated — lower floor. It's all rich red carpets, wood panelling and ornate staircases. I actually don't really know the specifics of what is on the ground floor, because in my dreams I inevitably find myself going upstairs. It feels somewhat like a hotel, but as you'll see, I'm pretty sure that it isn't.

Ascending the stairs leads to a balcony that overlooks the majority of the ground floor's main hall, and a corridor runs around what appears to be the perimeter of the building. Every so often, there are a few stairs up and the corridor opens up into an area with several rooms coming off it; these areas remind me strongly of the halls of residence I lived in in my first year of university, and indeed on some occasions I've opened one of these doors and found my university room behind them.

I'm usually in a hurry when I'm passing through this part of the Tower, for some reason, so I tend not to stop and look in any more detail at what's going on in these "flats". Eventually, I find myself coming to an elevator. I get in and ride it to the 18th floor — which I believe is the top of the building. For some reason, every time I ride this lift I feel like I have something I urgently need to do before it arrives at its destination; the exact task varies from visit to visit, but suffice to say they are typically not the sort of things one would want to be caught doing in a lift.

Last night, when I reached the 18th floor I was planning to immediately ride the elevator back down again, but two thuggish-looking men got in. One of these men bore an uncanny resemblance to someone I knew back in secondary school; I wouldn't necessarily describe him as a "bully", but he had a bit of a reputation for being a hardnut, so I tended to keep my distance. As such, I decided that spending 18 floors of descent in a lift with them might not be safe, so I disembarked, and thankfully they stayed in the lift and departed.

The 18th floor of the Tower is very different from the opulence of the ground floor. It's akin to a council estate block of flats; all raw concrete, open-air balconies and unwelcoming-looking front doors with chipped, faded paint. The unusual thing about it is that one side of it appears to be completely covered with glass, looking out onto a steep slope covered with dry, dead grass and small rocks.

There's another elevator in this glass wall. It's likewise almost entirely made of glass, though its floor is opaque. Stepping into it reveals something unusual: it doesn't work in the way you'd typically expect an elevator to operate — in other words, it doesn't go up and down. Rather, it seems to operate more like a train; it follows a track, ascending the hillside visible beyond the glass wall of the 18th floor and gradually picking up speed as it continues its journey.

I don't actually know where this elevator ends up, as I either wake up before it gets there, or I simply don't remember. But last night was my first visit there for quite some time, and it left something of an impression on me; so much so that it almost felt like I was actually remembering something rather than just dreaming it.

I wonder what it's all about? The unconscious is a mysterious place, for sure.

I watched this video by Kate, aka Esperdreams, earlier. It was a difficult watch, but I really appreciated the fact that she made it.

It's a Let's Play of a game called Drowning, which is a pretty simple and straightforward "walking simulator", but Kate's commentary really adds a considerable amount of meaning to the whole experience — because the way she describes things makes it look as if the game was written specifically for her.

Drowning is a story about living with depression. It's a candid look at the way someone suffering with depression feels about life; how they perceive the world, themselves and other people. It's extremely accurate. Much of Kate's commentary relates to how she felt similarly to the game's narrator in her teenage years, and how she has been able to learn and grow from those experiences since then. And, I have to say, I related to most of the narrator's commentary — and Kate's story, too.

As a "game", Drowning isn't terribly interesting, as most walking simulators aren't. However, Kate's Let's Play of it here, where she uses it as a prompt to talk about her own experiences and explore her feelings with the viewer, gives me a new appreciation for what this type of game might actually be "for".

It's a long video, but it's worth watching all the way through. Kate's story is all too familiar these days, sadly, and in its entirety it's something that anyone living with depression will be able to relate to — and anyone who knows someone living with depression absolutely should listen to and perhaps be able to understand their friend or family member a bit better.

Well, we're about to start another week. Last week I successfully managed to make it to the gym every weekday, which I'd say is well on the way to establishing a new habit.

This week will be crucial in cementing this routine as a healthy new habit. Although as I type this I'm not feeling overly enthusiastic about the idea of going to work tomorrow, I am at least, surprisingly, looking forward to hitting the gym.

When I'm being… sedentary, I never really feel like exercise is something I enjoy, but any time I hit the gym I remember that I actually quite like it and find it satisfying. Well, specifically, I enjoy the strength training side of things; I still don't really like cardio, primarily because my stamina is so poor that it's the most exhausting, painful part. (I know that probably means it's the bit I should work on the most, but eh)

I don't know if I get what I'd describe as a particular "high" from the gym as some people describe, but I definitely feel a sense of satisfaction when my muscles are aching and stiff. It's like your body saying "yes, you achieved something, and here's the proof".

I anticipate over the long term I'll also feel the satisfaction of improving and getting stronger. I have a long way to go; just the standard bench press bar is too heavy for me right now, but I'm sure I'll be able to work on that!

And I have the cute girls of How Heavy Are The Dumbbells You Lift to motivate me, too. How could I go wrong? 

Siiiiiigh.

Anyway. Today Chris and I are recording a new episode of The MoeGamer Podcast, and we're going to be talking about arcade racers. This should be an interesting discussion, as it's a genre that I've had a lot of time for over the years, and which Chris has always enjoyed but doesn't know a ton about. We're not aiming for a super-comprehensive discussion or anything, rather to celebrate some of our favourites from over the years — and, where applicable, why they are noteworthy in some way.

I love me a good arcade racer. I have done ever since Pole Position on the Atari 8-bit, which I think was probably my first ever encounter with them. We had (well, I still have!) an original cartridge copy of Pole Position for the 8-bit, which apparently was extremely expensive and difficult to track down for my parents, even back in the '80s but my brother really wanted it. Here it is:

The cardboard boxes of these old Atari games get a bit weathered over time — even if they've been taken care of, as these have — but it's still cool to have them. They're an interesting relic of a different time; you'll notice that the cartridge and the manual are both considerably smaller than the box, but they are all that is contained in that massive package! Moreover, there's an insert in the box clearly designed to hold a cassette rather than a cartridge, so I'm not sure exactly what Atari was smoking when they designed these.

Mind you, if you have any familiarity with '80s Atari, you'll know that 1) they probably were smoking something and 2) they were not good at the more practical side of things like, you know, marketing their home computers.

I'm looking forward to our discussion later. All being well, it should be live on Monday as it usually is after a podcast recording session. We hope you enjoy the show when it releases!

Oh, Bethesda. Bethesda, Bethesda, Bethesda. How do you fuck up Doom, of all things?

Well, I think we all already know the answer to that: you place intrusive online-dependent DRM in all its console ports, including the one specifically designed to be taken on the go to, say, places that you don't have a stable Internet connection.

Weirdly, there are some people defending this. I posted a tweet on the subject last night and there were people wilfully misunderstanding what I said about it as well as saying things like "just use a mobile hotspot".

Yes, you can just use a mobile hotspot, but that's not exactly an ideal solution — particularly if you're somewhere that doesn't have a good data signal. Which is still quite a few places here in the UK. Or what about if you're going on a trip and you're on a plane that doesn't have Wi-Fi, as many still don't? If you'd downloaded Doom ahead of your trip and hadn't had the foresight to start it up once beforehand at home (which is not something you should need to do with a 25-year old game) then you literally wouldn't be able to play it, because the game requires you to sign in to Bethesda's stupid servers at least once.

For a game. With no. Online. Features. Not even multiplayer!

Whenever I wonder if I should step back into the triple-A space just to see what's going on, situations like this remind me that I'm quite happy where I am. Doom from 1993 isn't a triple-A game, obviously, but Bethesda are a triple-A publisher, and so this sort of ridiculous behaviour can be expected in most of their titles. As such, I have no interest in supporting them whatsoever.

Still, at least this whole situation has resulted in some amusing memes, for once; generally I tire of topical memes within less than five minutes, but these made me chuckle.

 https://twitter.com/balmut_/status/1154860181064491015 

 https://twitter.com/qazimod/status/1155019820724883456 

 https://twitter.com/grisevg/status/1155018226406961157 

 https://twitter.com/BradicalPrime/status/1155019883274371073 

Now, I think, an hour or two of Lapis x Labyrinth, which fired up the moment I put it in my Switch, didn't require any updates and doesn't need to be connected online for anything…

Apparently the upcoming Omega Labyrinth Life is getting a worldwide release! Sadly, the English version is only coming in downloadable format, but that's definitely better than nothing — plus with things the way they are today, you should never say there'll never be a physical release, courtesy of one of the various limited-run boutique publishers these days.

What's quite interesting about this announcement is that D3 Publisher also confirmed the PS4 version will be significantly "toned down" from the Switch edition — to such a degree that it has a different title. The Switch version, which incorporates all the available content (including lewd happy funtimes) is Omega Labyrinth Life, while the PS4 version — which cuts out a lot of the illustrations, "touching" event scenes and something about a rock-paper-scissors minigame — is known as Labyrinth Life.

I'm quite surprised to see this seemingly coming West officially, given the amount of trouble its predecessor Omega Labyrinth Z had with bodies such as the Video Standards Council here in the UK. A cynic would say that this quiet download-only release is intended to bypass any potential outrage — and they may well be right — but it's still a pleasant surprise to see this series finally make it West in an official capacity.

For those unsure as to why you should care about this lewd RPG, note the pedigree behind it: it's developed by Matrix Software who, among other things, have previously given us rather marvellous experiences including The Adventures of Alundra on PS1, Dragon Quest spinoff Torneko: The Last Hope, the 3D remakes of Final Fantasy III, Groove Coaster and plenty more besides. The company was born from former members of Climax Entertainment (Shining in the Darkness, Shining Force, Landstalker, Runabout) and Telenet Japan (Valis, Cosmic Fantasy) so they very much know what they are doing… both in terms of RPGs in general and with cheeky, lewd games!

I believe Play-Asia has an Asian English version of Omega Labyrinth Life available, but there may well be a waiting list to get hold of a copy of that at this point — plus that'll be more expensive than the downloadable release. It's a series I'm interested in checking out, though, particularly as I spoke out strongly against the VSC's decision to ban Omega Labyrinth Z, so I'll have to have a more thorough investigation into my options come release day: August 1.

Regardless: happy boobs!

IT'S SO BLOODY HOT. This is stating the obvious for a lot of you, I'm aware, but we don't really "do" hot here in Britain. Which is sort of surprising, really, because I can't remember the last time we didn't have a blazing hot summer with seemingly daily news reports proclaiming it to be the "hottest day since records began" or something along those lines.

The reason we don't really "do" hot here in Britain is that air conditioning is seen as a luxury rather than a necessity, but I'm really starting to think we're getting to a stage where that needs to change. And it is changing in some areas; most new cars these days seem to come with air conditioning, which is great, and portable air conditioners (such as the one we have in our bedroom after finding last year's heat intolerable) are much more affordable than they once were.

It's still hard to deal with, though — particularly when you go to those places that don't have air conditioning. You know, like outside. It's surprisingly difficult to spend a whole day without going outside at all, even for someone as socially inept as myself, and thus it's nigh impossible to have a day where you're not exposed to the bastard sun at all.

I've had a bit of a headache for the past few days and I'm pretty sure the heat and/or the sun is to blame. Thankfully both the gym and my office have air conditioning, so my exposure is pretty minimal. I kind of wish we could all just hibernate until the autumn though.

Some mildly NSFW images ahead!

I love sexy comics, be they full-on hentai doujinshi or just stuff that is unashamed to depict adult content as a natural part of the story. Today I discovered a particularly delightful one that I wanted to share with you: it's called You Suck, and you can read it at https://yousuck.sexy 

You Suck is the work of a creator called Josh Lesnick, and is intended to be a "sex positive comic about two dorky perverts, one of whom is a succubus".

Over the course of the 250 pages available so far (all of which I've read this morning!) the comic tells the story of Anna, a thoroughly likeable chubby ginger who is frustrated that her boyfriend won't bang her. Said relationship comes to an end when she finds the boyfriend in question being ridden like a horse by a succubus in an alleyway, but for some reason the succubus ends up taking a liking to Anna, and the pair strike up a rather peculiar friendship.

The way the story depicts Anna forgiving Izobel (as the succubus comes to be known) for her apparent indiscretions and earnestly attempting to communicate with her is really heartwarming to see. And in turn, Izobel's attempts to satisfy Anna's obvious frustration by kidnapping guys for her to have sex with… well, her heart's in the right place, even if her means are questionable. (The comic does take pains to point out that it "simplifies things" for dramatic and comedic purposes, and highlights the importance of mutual consent, for anyone concerned about such things!)

I particularly like how Anna is depicted as being prone to the sort of baser desires that are normally assumed to be the exclusive domain of men — and at the same time, most of the men seen throughout the comic are shown to be easily reduced to a gibbering, compliant wreck when the possibility of sex presents itself. Actually, no, that's not necessarily an accurate description; Lesnick's description of the comic as "sex positive" is probably the most accurate way to describe it. Everyone involved is very much into the opportunity to get down and dirty.

I love the art, too. The whole thing looks like it's been drawn in biro, and particularly emotive scenes almost have the appearance of Lesnick being overcome by emotion and the art "deteriorating" as a result. Expressions become exaggerated and escape the boundaries of faces, shapes become more vague and the art as a whole becomes more abstract. Don't mistake this for Lesnick being a bad artist, mind; there are a number of scenes throughout (typically the ones where Anna is engaging in something particularly filthy) where the art is immaculate and beautiful.

There's plenty of good humour, too. I love how the succubus language is based on a series of triangles and a significant proportion of it is apparently up to the listener's interpretation. I adore how any penises depicted throughout the comic have little smiley faces on the end and react as their own independent entities to anything that is… going on. And Anna's obsession with dad rock — and Izobel's subsequent parroting of lyrics with a broken accent — is just wonderful.

I believe the comic is still running at the time of writing. I've given it a bookmark, and look forward to reading more. If you think you might enjoy something sex-positive with good humour, do be sure to give it a look yourself!

Apologies for missing yesterday; I was a bit distracted by recording things followed by the immensely addictive game I found myself playing after that — there'll be a full writeup on that particular subject on MoeGamer later today, so watch out for that.

It is presently 6.30am. I am quite tired, but to my surprise I haven't been finding it too difficult to get up early in order to get to the gym or the swimming pool each morning. I'm actually finding myself quite looking forward to the morning sessions — I've found this on a few previous occasions, too. When I'm not actively going to the gym, I tend to associate exercise with negative things such as being out of breath and in pain, but when I am, there's definitely something to be said for the endorphine rush of pushing yourself a bit.

I'm also taking a bit of a different approach to what I've done on previous gym visits. Following some of the advice in the anime How Heavy Are the Dumbbells You Lift? I'm concentrating on strength training, simply using a bit of cardio at the start of each session to warm up. And I'm using weights that are light enough to feel reasonably "easy", but with more repetitions in an attempt to build up muscle endurance. Machio said that this is a good way to increase your metabolism, after all, so I'm interested to see if he's right!

But yeah; there's something almost primally satisfying about working your various bits and feeling them doing things that they don't normally get the opportunity to do during a boring day at work. Feelings of stiffness and soreness almost feel like a badge of honour, and I find that even if your body hasn't changed shape — which it won't have done with the three sessions at the gym I've had so far! — having that ongoing, lingering feeling of having pushed yourself a bit makes you feel weirdly "buff".

A pretty good way to start the day, then. Certainly worth getting up early for!

So, Digitiser Live then!

It was a great show. Everything I hoped for. Authentically shambolic in the style of the YouTube show, paying homage to the things people loved about the Teletext pages, and doing things that only really "worked" in the live arena.

Rewind a moment for those unfamiliar. Digitiser was a daily games magazine that ran on the UK's Teletext service from 1993 until 2003. If you want to know a bit more about its history, I wrote a piece about it back when Digitiser: The Show was first a thing last year. Check it out here.

The show opened with "Pac-Man for Real", featuring several of the cast members charging around the hall attempting to recover balls that had been strategically scattered around the audience. It was a hilarious piece of visual comedy, but it was almost as amusing to see how exhausted everyone involved was once they got on stage properly — especially once host Paul "Mr Biffo" Rose started admonishing them for peaking too early.

Once the show got underway, there was plenty of the usual banter between the main cast Biffo, Larry Bundy Jr, Octav1us and Paul Gannon. (Original cast member GameplayJenny departed amicably at some point in the last year; there was apparently no bad blood, she just didn't want to do it any more!) Biffo took a moment to address the fact that people have repeatedly been accusing him of looking like a "fat, old Charlie Brooker" in his comment section for a while now. There were visual aids and everything.

The show featured a mix of on-stage action and prerecorded material appearing on a big screen; transitions between sections featured one of these latter components, and several of them incorporated audience participation. A particular highlight among these was what initially appeared to be a respectful retrospective on the life and works of David Braben, creator of Elite and the Raspberry Pi, but this devolved into short order into the song "David Braben Did a Poo", sung to the tune of Camptown Races. It was a seriously bizarre feeling to be in a theatre of 400+ people all singing "Did a poo all night! Did a poo all day! David Braben did a poo, doo-dah-doo-dah-day!"

Biffo brought back a few sequences from Digitiser: The Show including quiz Mockety Moc!, which was just as shambolic as when it was on video — and the best thing about sections like this was the fact that Biffo and co have set such an expectation of everything they do going wrong somehow that any mistakes they might happen to make just feel like part of the act. It was the same when the videos playing in the background between sections locked up, froze or just flat-out didn't play; it was honestly impossible to tell whether it was an actual mistake, or if the whole thing was planned that way. And it was wonderful.

One particularly entertaining segment opened with a terrifying slideshow of Sonic vore fanart that someone (Biffo) had had to collect from around the Internet, and this was then followed by a pair of contestants having to identify which pieces of Sonic fanfiction that were being read out were real (spoiler: they all were).

Another involved Cheap Show's Eli Silverman dressed as Mario (occasionally going "eeee!" in an apparently unsuccessful attempt to channel Charles Martinet) inviting Paul Gannon and Larry Bundy Jr to smell the contents of various pipes. Because it wouldn't be Digitiser without Gannon getting some grief and Bundy retching.

The whole thing is such a chaotic, surreal blur in my mind that it's honestly difficult to pick out highlights… but it was a wonderful end to what, as I discussed yesterday, was a fantastic day. Everyone involved — whether cast, crew or audience — seemed to have a fantastic time, and I'm so happy it was a big success. As shambolic as their end products might often seem to be, Biffo and co all really work hard on producing brilliantly entertaining work for people to enjoy — and they don't always get the credit and appreciation they deserve.

I hope they all feel great about yesterday, though, because it was as sure a sign as I've ever seen that Digitiser is here to stay, and Biffo and his friends have fans who genuinely love them.