Feeling a bit run down at the moment, probably mostly due to not feeling all that well. As I noted a little while ago, my hernia has been giving me some grief over the last few days. Normally if I have a morning of agony, it goes away for a few weeks and doesn't bother me, but this time around it seems to be sticking around and providing a pretty consistent sense of discomfort — not really outright pain as such, but enough to be irritating and exhausting.
I'm thankful for the fact that there have been so many opportunities for long weekends recently via a combination of time off that I'd booked and public holidays. I am less thrilled about the fact that any time I am too much in pain to go in to the day job, I have to do a guilt-tripping "Return to Work" interview upon my return, which seems to serve pretty much no purpose other than for me to point out that yes, I have an ongoing condition that occasionally precludes me from doing anything; no, there isn't really anything I can do about it right now until I lose a bit of weight; and yes, I am losing weight.
I understand why it happens, of course; it's an attempt to nip "sickies" in the bud, and heaven knows I pulled a few sickies in my earlier years — particularly when I worked in teaching, and some days the stress and depression simply proved too much to confront — but when it's a situation like this, it just feels like you're being punished for something beyond your control. I absolutely hate this sort of injustice — well, okay, "injustice" might be a strong word, since they haven't actually done anything to me… but every time I have to be off, I'm concerned that I'll be given some sort of bollocking for not being well. One of many ways the modern world sucks, I guess, but it is a problem entirely of our own creation.
How I long for the ability to work for myself, setting my own hours and expectations, and not having to follow any sort of Policy and Procedure manual. Bit of a pipe dream for what I want to do right now, unfortunately, but those of you who are kind enough to be in a position to read this, you at least allow me to have a bit of pocket money with which I can enjoy myself each month — so a sincere thank you for that. (Also, tell your friends.)
I've got articles to write and videos to record, so hopefully a bit of productivity will make me feel a bit better. I hope you have a pleasant Monday!
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