2270: HunieCam Studio: A Few Tips

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Have you been playing HunieCam Studio? If not, you should; it's great.

If you have, you've probably discovered that it's quite challenging, at least for your first few playthroughs. Here, then, are a few tips that I've figured out in my first three playthroughs, the last of which resulted in a lovely gold dick trophy.

The first few days on the job

While your overall goal in HunieCam Studio is to have as many fans as possible by the end of the 21st day, don't sweat fans at all to begin with, since you only have one girl and you need money.

It doesn't really matter which of the three starter girls you pick, since they all have identical stats and none of them are addicted to drink or cigarettes. Choose whoever you like the most, though take note of the fetishes they cater to, as these will be more important later in the game.

Immediately send your starter girl to do a few cam shows one after the other. This will give you enough money to spend on a few upgrades. You'll want to prioritise both the staffing upgrade that increases the number of girls you can hire, and the inventory upgrade that allows girls to carry accessories.

Once you've upgraded your staffing, send your girl to the model agency to find some hot new talent. Pick someone who won't break the bank with her hourly rate, because you don't have a lot of income yet. Once you've got your second girl up and running, you can start branching out a bit.

Getting into the rhythm

Now you can start building your fanbase a bit. Remember that when a girl does a photoshoot, she gains fans of some or all of the fetishes she caters to, so it's actually quite helpful to hire girls with overlapping fetishes. You can force overlaps with the accessories that unlock new fetishes, too; if every girl has a butt plug, for example, they'll all earn fans of Anal when they do a photoshoot, which will give you a fanbase that will apply to all of them when they do a cam show — which means more money.

Consider upgrading one of your girls' abilities with the strip club and the shopping mall, but keep a steady flow of income coming in; remember that you have to pay your girls by midnight every day, and if you get into debt and don't get back out again by midnight of the next day, the game is over! Don't over-upgrade, either, since your money will still be fairly limited until you have more girls with better skills.

Thrusting forwards

From your third girl onwards, don't be afraid to hire a drinker or a smoker, though perhaps steer clear of those who are heavily addicted. Drinkers and/or smokers build up stress more slowly so long as they have a supply of their particular vice(s), so they can perform more actions before you need to send them to the Day Spa to recover.

Once you do hire a drinker and/or a smoker, be sure to either use one of your unupgraded starter girls — or, if you've upgraded them both, a new hire with skills at the base level to save costs — to become your errand girl, doing nothing but running to the shops to get drink and cigarettes. You can make her considerably more efficient by acquiring a Shopping Basket from the Adult Shop, which doubles the yield of both shops, and you can make her even more efficient by dosing her up with coke each day, which makes her complete her activities at double speed. If you find yourself with a considerable surplus of drink and cigarettes, use the opportunity to send her to the Adult Shop whenever you can, as accessories are always useful. Grab condoms and antibiotics when you see them, as these are handy during financial emergencies.

Oh, God, yes

One of the most useful accessories is the Subscribe pillow. This allows a girl to earn fans when she does a cam show — it's not quite as quick as when she does a photoshoot, but it gives you a trickle of fan income, which will gradually increase your financial income and final score, too. Equip all your main camgirls with the best skills with one as soon as possible, and fill their remaining inventory slots with fetish accessories, as these increase the amount of fans they earn as well as allow them to cater to specific fetishes.

As you progress, don't forget about upgrades, particularly those that allow you to collect more money and fans with each click on the cam and photo studios. Time you're spending collecting resources is time you're not spending micromanaging your army of sex workers, so being able to collect it more efficiently is a godsend. Also be sure to invest in at least a couple of levels of the Automation upgrade, since this allows you to passively collect resources even when you're doing other things.

Uhhhhuhhhhggghhhhnnnngh

Money troubles? No worries. Whore out your girls at the Sleazy Motel and you'll earn all the money they'd earn from a camshow in a fraction of the time. There is, however, the risk of them catching an STD from this, and STDs range from mildly inconvenient and curable to completely incapacitating and incurable. If a girl gets AIDS, immediately hire another one to take her place, since AIDS victims are unable to do anything.

To prevent STDs, give the girl you're sending to the Motel — your highest earner, obviously — a condom, and you won't have to worry. If the worst does happen, however, dose her up with antibiotics and she'll be better in three days. Alternatively, you can give her a shot of steroids to negate the effects of the STD temporarily, though this is not an ideal solution.

Aaaaaahhh

Once you've got a good lineup of well-skilled girls and you're making good money, make sure you start investing in advertising, since this simply allows you to exchange money for fans. If your cashflow is a little limited, prioritise the ads that cater to fetishes you have on staff, since this will make those girls more profitable. If money is no object, buy all the ads you can, and upgrade your advertising to be able to purchase more — and better — ads each day. Note that this upgrade isn't retroactive, though; it takes effect from the following day, so it's useless if you forget about it until day 21.

Also, it is very much worth your while to upgrade your web hosting and photo equipment, as these significantly increase the cash you get from camshows and the fans you get from photoshoots respectively. They're expensive upgrades, but they pay for themselves before long.

Finishing off

In your last few days, ditch any "useful" accessories you've been using such as the Piggy Bank, Nicotine Patch or Wine Box, and make sure each girl has three fetish-catering items, increasing her fan yield. Rotate your girls between camming and photoshooting to keep both money and fans coming in, and be sure to buy ads each day. Keep your errand girl active, too; if you don't need drink and cigarettes, keep her shopping at the Adult Shop for condoms and antibiotics.

Most importantly for the whole game, make sure no girl is wasting time: everyone should always be doing something, even if that something is just resting at the Day Spa. If a girl finishes an activity and you're in the middle of collecting a resource, stop and assign her to something new before you resume collection, otherwise she's dead weight for those few moments, and if you want a huge fan count and that big, spunking platinum dick trophy, every second counts.

2267: HunieCam Studio: Private Time Management

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Remember "time management" games? Diner Dash and the like? They were a large part of what constituted "casual games" before free-to-play mobile shit entered the marketplace and ruined everyone's fun with microtransactions, throttling and "fun pain".

HuniePot, developer of HuniePop and now HunieCam Studio, clearly remembers the good old days of casual games before free-to-play. Not only have they made an excellent puzzle game in the form of HuniePop — a game that successfully puts an interesting twist on match-3 and doesn't just clone Bejeweled — but now they've made an enjoyable and surprisingly addictive time management game in the form of HunieCam Studio.

HunieCam Studio describes itself as a management/tycoon game, but set aside any thoughts of the complex '90s/'00s-era tycoon games here: this is a game that is extremely simple to pick up — thanks in part to an amusingly well-written (and skippable) tutorial starring Kyu, the perverted fairy from HuniePop — but challenging to master. And it's a game that's designed to be replayed and experimented with, too; both to beat your own high score and to tackle some of the challenging achievements on offer.

But what is HunieCam Studio? Well, let me rewind a bit and give some context. HunieCam Studio's predecessor HuniePop was a Kickstarter success story, promising a Western-style dating sim with anime-style graphics but a distinctly foul-mouthed Western comedy approach. It changed a little from its original brief, but maintained its core formula of using its puzzle mechanics to represent how well your dates with the game's various lovely ladies were going, and incorporated some resource management as you upgraded your character's abilities and bought the girls gifts.

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HunieCam Studio takes much of HuniePop's cast along with some newcomers and puts them in a new context: the seedy underbelly of the Internet, specifically the "camgirl" industry. For those far too innocent to know what a camgirl is, you can probably work it out; just in case you really have led a sheltered life, though, a camgirl is an online sex worker, putting on shows from her bedroom (or studio) for the gratification of horny people who want to watch some live porn. Camgirls make their money through a combination of tips from the audience (delivered electronically) and particularly amorous punters who pay for some private one-on-one time with the girl.

In many ways, camgirl work is the "acceptable" face of the sex work industry, if such a thing exists, since many camgirls work independently for themselves, and the natural barrier that the Internet puts between them and their audience means that it's a lot easier for them to stay safe from dangers such as STDs and punters who get a little… overenthusiastic.

Ideal video game fodder, wouldn't you say? No? Well then, you'd be wrong.

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HunieCam Studio's gameplay takes place on a static town map. Beginning with just one girl in your camgirl empire — HunieCam Studio's take on camgirls has you working for Kyu, who in turn wants nothing more than to roll in big piles of money obtained through the sleaziest means possible — you assign your charges to various tasks, each of which takes a varying amount of time, but which can be sped up by clicking or holding the mouse button down on it. This has led many people to arguably erroneously describe HunieCam Studio as a "clicker" game, but it differentiates itself from popular clickers such as Clicker Heroes by having a clearer structure and goals in place rather than just playing endlessly for the sake of it.

The tasks the girls can take on include putting on cam shows (which earns money), doing photo shoots (which earns fans, which equal more money when doing cam shows), training their talent (which improves the money they make per fan during cam shows) and style (which improves the number of fans they acquire per photo shoot), shopping for booze and cigarettes (both of which cause those with varying degrees of addiction to either or both to remain somewhat more stress-free than their clean counterparts), fucking punters in a sleazy motel (which makes money more quickly than cam shows, but which carries a risk of the girl catching one of several STDs, each of which has its own negative effects that restrict her actions), shopping for accessories (which carry passive bonuses) or resting at the day spa (which alleviates stress built up through all of the above activities).

Meanwhile, as Kyu's assistant, it's your job to manage the girls' time effectively and upgrade the overall operation using the money they earn. As you progress, you can unlock more slots to hire more girls and consequently perform more simultaneous actions, and you can also improve the pace at which clicking on things speeds things along as well as automating the collection of the resources actions produce. This becomes particularly important later when the girls start earning large amounts of money and fans with each action; clicking over a thousand times to collect all your ill-gotten gains isn't going to work.

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You also have to manage the overall budget. The girls have an hourly rate of pay that increases as their talent and style levels increase, and at midnight each day you have to pay them. If this puts you in debt and you're not back out of debt by midnight on the next day, you lose. There are no other consequences to getting into debt, however, so sometimes it can be tactically advantageous to quickly blow all your money to get your operation in a good position, then spend part of the next day recouping the deficit you're left with after paying the girls.

The overall aim of HunieCam Studio is to have as many fans as possible by the end of a 21-day period. Once this time period is up, your final fan total is totted up and you're awarded a trophy according to how well you did. This, in turn, provides you with coins that can be spent on unlocking new hairstyles and costumes for the girls, with a mildly lewd picture on offer as a reward for each girl if you unlock all her variations. (Interestingly, during the game itself there's no explicitly lewd content whatsoever; everything is implied or mentioned in text. This is not a game to fap to.)

HunieCam Studio appears simple, but there are some interesting things going on under the (clitoral) hood, particularly with how the "fans" system works. Each girl starts catering to two specific fetishes, usually relating to their physical appearance — "MILF", "Teen", "Latina" and suchlike. Fans you acquire have specific tastes, meaning that girls who have a greater share of your total fanbase will make more money doing cam shows, and more money means faster upgrades. Ideally, you'll have multiple girls with overlapping fetishes, and this can be partially manipulated by purchasing accessories from the shop — buying butt plugs and giving them to a girl allows her to cater to fans who enjoy bum fun, for example, but this won't do you much good until you attract some fans of bum fun in the first place through photoshoots or paying for advertising to a particular audience.

As the game progresses and you get more girls in your little harem, things get surprisingly hectic if you want to keep things running as efficiently as possible, and STDs can throw a real spanner in the works, particularly if they're one of the serious, incurable ones — AIDS, for example, prevents a girl from doing anything at all because she's so depressed about the situation, making her completely useless to your operation. There is, sadly, little time to feel sorry for her, though; not if you want to make money and attract fans, anyway. Such is the way of a capitalist society.

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I enjoy HunieCam Studio a lot more than I was expecting to. Its controversial new art direction — taking a distinctly more "Western cartoon" approach than the anime-inspired art of HuniePop — actually looks pretty good in the context of the game, and it's enjoyable to play. A full 21-day game only takes about an hour and a half tops, too, so it's easily replayable, and for those with little free time, you can save and come back at another time. You can also continue playing the game in "endless" mode after the 21 days are up, but you can't achieve the better trophies in this way — you'll need to start again for that.

A lot of people describe the people making consciously "arty" indie games as the punk movement of the games industry, but I have to say, I feel a bit differently; while I have nothing against the art-games movement and indeed encourage it in many cases, it's a very cliquey little part of the industry that has very specific ideas about what is and isn't "acceptable" or "good", particularly with regard to controversial and/or progressive themes.

HuniePot, meanwhile, don't give a shit what people think of them and deliberately set out with their games to be as provocative and offensive to those with delicate sensibilities as possible — while taking care to ensure that what they produce is also actually technically proficient and enjoyable to play. That sounds pretty punk to me — and they've set out to achieve what they wanted to twice now. I hope we see more from them in the future.

2262: Have You Played Major Havoc Today?

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Continuing my exploration of Atari Vault on Steam — and partly in honour of the fact that for some inexplicable (but welcome!) reason, Atari founder Nolan Bushnell followed me on Twitter earlier today — I thought I'd take a look at another game I was previously unfamiliar with: Major Havoc.

Major Havoc is one of those games from the early '80s that eschewed sprites, bitmaps and pixels in favour of vector graphics, giving it a very distinctive, recognisable look that stands alongside other vector games such as Asteroids, Battlezone, Red Baron, Tempest and Star Wars. In keeping with the inventiveness of video gaming's youth, Major Havoc is a rather peculiar game with some ambitious concepts, and quite possibly one of the first attempts at cross-genre gaming.

Major Havoc is split into several phases. First of all there's a quasi-3D shoot 'em up section, where you control Major Havoc's spaceship at the bottom of the screen and shoot incoming enemies as they come towards you. The interesting thing about this part is that it's not just straight Space Invaders-style waves of enemies: the first level features enemies that turn into a different form and home in on you when you hit them; the second features Galaxians-style swooping enemies, and the third starts with swirling, spiral enemies that draw lines on the screen, which subsequently become a maze you have to navigate your ship through as you approach your destination. (I can't get past this one, so I can't speak to what comes later!)

Following this, you have a Lunar Lander-lite section where you have to land Major Havoc's ship on a flashing white platform atop the target you were approaching in the first phase. Then Major Havoc gets out of the ship and you're seamlessly taken into a side-on platformer with weird gravity (hold the jump button down and you keep rising; let go and you'll fall) where you have to find a reactor, set it to explode and then get back out to your ship before you blow up with it. After that, the process repeats with a different wave of enemies, different platform to land on and different maze to negotiate.

It's a really cool game that tries some things I certainly haven't seen before, and the blend of space shooter and platforming hasn't really been attempted again (to my knowledge, anyway) until FuturLab's very recent Velocity 2x on PlayStation 4 and Vita.

It's also a stark reminder and interesting reminder that differences between Eastern and Western games have always been very apparent, though not always in quite the same way as today — Atari's games of the early '80s capitalised on the popularity of futuristic sci-fi thanks to Star Wars and made effective use of technologies such as vector graphics to create that aesthetic, while Japanese games of a similar era were often based around pixel art with cute aesthetics and more mascot-like characters.

Major Havoc, then: pretty neat, and another nice discovery from the Atari Vault. Looking forward to discovering more. (Also, hi, Mr Bushnell, if you're reading, which you probably aren't. Thank you for following.)

2260: Have You Played Liberator Today?

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I like retro compilations, not just for the ability to play games from my youth on modern hardware, but also to discover some classics that, for whatever reason, I missed out on when they were first released.

Such has been the case after just a few minutes with Atari Vault, a new release on Steam that packages together about a hundred Atari 2600 and arcade games from the late '70s and early '80s — including a few previously unreleased prototypes, which is kinda cool.

One such discovery I made today was an interesting (and surprisingly impressive for the time) game called Liberator, a quasi-sequel to Missile Command that flipped the concept of the original Cold War-inspired game on its head by putting you in the role of the aggressors, attacking enemy bases on planets in order to liberate the population from the villains.

Liberator, I've discovered, was quite a rare game even on its original release, which might explain why I've never come across it before. According to Gaming History, the original arcade machine sold for a whopping $2,000 and did not prove particularly popular, with only somewhere in the region of 760 cabinets actually being made — all this despite it being a game absolutely made for cross-promotion with Atari's "Atari Force" comic series. The curse of old-school Atari constantly and consistently failing at marketing strikes once again, I guess.

Anyway. The game plays quite a bit like Missile Command in that it's a somewhat different take on the shoot 'em up. Rather than firing directly at things, you fire at a crosshair on screen, and your missiles detonate when they reach the point you fired at. Thus, to destroy things, you have to cause explosions at locations where the enemies will be when your missiles arrive — usually meaning you have to fire ahead of them carefully, anticipating their movements.

Much like Missile Command, you can fire from several different places on screen, and these missile launchers — here depicted as starships orbiting an enemy planet — can be independently destroyed, acting as your "lives" for the game session. The game, then, becomes a matter of balancing your offense on the planet surface, which requires you to destroy enemy missile bases on the rotating globe ahead of you, and defending yourself against incoming missiles and other attacks. Not every attack is guaranteed to hit you, either, so you also need to spot which things you need to prioritise destroying and which you can safely ignore.

It's an interesting game; very simple, but undoubtedly addictive in the same way that Missile Command is. It's a good-looking game for the time period (1982), as well, with some decent pixel art for "Commander Champion", who briefs you on your mission, and a well-done 3D rotating globe effect for the planets you're orbiting. Sound effects, meanwhile, are the same bleeps, burbles and booms from Missile Command — nothing special, but certainly iconic of this particular period in gaming.

There's a lot more to explore in Atari Vault, but I anticipate that Liberator will be one I keep coming back to!

2259: Back to Solo Play

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I've been back and forth on whether or not I should continue playing Final Fantasy XIV for a while now. I do love the game and all it offers, but the long period of time between the release of expansion pack Heavensward and its first major content patch caused me to get significant burnout, and while I did get temporarily enthused around the start of the patch 3.2 cycle, I'm once again feeling that I don't really want to do the endgame grind, nor do I want to raid.

Those who have been following my blog for a while will know that I've been one of the loudest, most enthusiastic people about Final Fantasy XIV ever since the beta of A Realm Reborn. So why the change of heart? Well, a number of reasons, really.

First up is the aforementioned endgame grind. This has always been present in the game — it is an MMO, after all — but first time around it somehow didn't feel so bad, perhaps because I never got "ahead of the curve" and made content irrelevant by outgearing it within a day or two of it releasing. In other words, taking on challenges was always exciting and there was always something to aim for; that aspect is still there, but if anything, I think there's now too much to grind on for what feels like relatively little reward.

Take the Anima weapons, for example — Heavensward's version of the Relic weapons from A Realm Reborn. The first step of this process either requires you to give up a fully upgraded level 50 relic (which a lot of people had at least one of by this point) or to repeatedly run FATEs around the Heavensward areas until you got Atma-like drops at a very low chance. The second step requires you to run ten dungeons that, at the level you're constructing the Anima weapon at, are completely irrelevant to you unless you're collecting gear for alt classes. The final step requires you to collect 20 each of four different items and then do some other bits and pieces.

The first step either takes seconds or hours of boring FATE grinding, though you can at least attempt to get the items from FATEs while levelling another class. The second step is just plain tedious, though it is presumably there as an attempt to keep older dungeons populated for those who are coming up through the 50s. And the third and final step is an absolutely brutal grind that either takes weeks of daily quests or repeated running of dungeons and/or the first (now largely irrelevant) part of the Alexander raid dungeon. Oddly, the jump in item level and power for this final step is significantly smaller than that for the second step, despite the final step being by far the most significant undertaking.

I currently have 8 out of the 60 items required to upgrade my Relic to its (currently) final form, and the next step of the process is coming soon. I just don't feel any inclination to do this alongside grinding daily quest reputation, Tomestones to purchase gear, XP for classes that haven't reached 60 yet, not to mention crafting and gathering, both of which are one of the few reliable ways to make a decent amount of money in the game.

The trouble, then, is not that there's nothing to do as such — it's that there's too much to do, but that too much is based on doing the same things over and over again for weeks or even months. The worst of both worlds, if you will — for me, anyway. There are plenty of people still playing who seem to be quite happy indulging in this grind. Some are even already working on their second or third Anima weapons.

I don't begrudge anyone how they spend their time, but having been playing a bunch of other stuff recently, I just don't want to commit the amount of time necessary to progress at a meaningful pace in Heavensward, because it means that I won't have time to enjoy other games like Senran Kagura Estival Versus, Dungeon Travelers 2, the upcoming Trillion God of Destruction and the many, many RPGs that are still on my game shelves, as yet unplayed. I've tried finding that magic balance between FFXIV and other games, and it just doesn't really exist for me — I always end up going in an "all or nothing" direction, and right now I'm feeling like I would rather play other things.

I'm not hanging up my Eorzean adventuring shoes completely; I fully intend to continue dropping in on the game to see how the plot develops with each new content patch, but I no longer have any desire to stay "current" with content progression, raids or Extreme-level Primal fights. In a way, I'm a bit sad that I feel this way, as FFXIV has been such a significant part of my life for so long — and my wife now plays more than I do — but ultimately, if you're not happy or having fun doing something that is supposed to be enjoyable, then there's really no point carrying on with it.

Alongside all this is the social matter: our Free Company has become very quiet over the last few months. I'm not entirely sure what's caused this and I don't really want to investigate for fear of dredging up any drama that might be involved. But playing the game isn't the same social activity it once was, with Free Company chat a lively place filled with people having fun, joking around and enjoying themselves. Many of the regular faces are still there, but remain quiet in "public", instead preferring to converse in small, private Linkshells rather than the main guild channel. It's made for an atmosphere that isn't anywhere near as welcoming and fun as it once was.

And alongside this is the matter of the overall game community and how it has declined somewhat over the last few months. MMOs always have a problem with elitism at their top end, but Final Fantasy XIV always used to feel like it was one of the more positive, friendly communities out there. Now, though, it's a place where you get yelled at if you don't speedrun dungeons, where newcomers to fights are sometimes kicked out of groups, and where players bitch about people they perceive to be "inferior" to them both in-game and on social media. The rise in popularity of DPS parsers also means that the particularly elitist players have data to hold over the heads of people they think are underperforming, and rather than offering feedback on how to improve, many of these people think that simply quoting them their DPS figure is enough to make them want to "git gud".

This is a generalisation, of course; I've still had plenty of positive experiences in the game in recent months, and I always made a point to be the change I wanted to see in the community by being friendly and conversational when playing with others, offering advice without berating when necessary. But it's just got to a point where this side of things has become exhausting and even stressful at times, and that's not conducive to having fun.

So I'm stepping away. For how long, I don't know, though as I say, I'm pretty sure I'll be back in for the next patch, at least to see how the main scenario storyline develops. Raiding, though? Nope. Sephirot EX? No thank you. Anima grind? No, thank you.

Now, I'm 86 hours deep in Dungeon Travelers 2 and I have grinding to do… he said, without a trace of irony.

2258: TrackMania Turbo: Impressions from the Full Version

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I knew after just a couple of minutes of playing TrackMania Turbo's demo that I needed the full game in my life, so it wasn't long before I was in my local game emporium picking up a physical copy. (Discs rule. Yes they do.) And I've been spending some time with the full version. Here are some things you might like to know about it.

It's an arcade racer with gloriously old-school handling

That means tapping the brakes to suddenly find yourself going sideways, powersliding around corners, releasing the accelerator to slow down only when you absolutely have to, and all that good stuff. It's not realistic in the slightest, but TrackMania has always been about having fun that just happens to be in cars; it's never been trying to be realistic, and it's always been all the better for it.

There are four distinct environments, each with a very different feel

Earlier TrackMania titles incorporated multiple environments, each of which had its own unique vehicle with its own unique handling. TrackMania 2 bucked this trend by releasing each environment as a separate game — Canyon, Valley and Stadium. It was a controversial move that some saw as new publisher Ubisoft trying to make a bit more money off the game and perhaps it was — but each of these environments was very well fleshed out with plenty of variety. Plus each individual game was a fraction of the price of a brand-new triple-A game.

TrackMania Turbo incorporates revamped versions of the Canyon, Valley and Stadium environments from TrackMania 2 and adds its own Lagoon environment to the mix. Lagoon is somewhat similar to the Island environment from TrackMania United, but with a few additions — most notably magnetic rollercoaster tracks that your car sticks to, allowing for corkscrewing, loop-the-looping and all manner of other acrobatics with zero risk of your car flying off into the sunset or plummeting from a great height into shark-infested waters.

Pleasingly, each environment feels very different. The Canyon cars are extremely drifty — we're talking Ridge Racer territory here. The Valley cars, meanwhile, are a little more twitchy, plus the wider variety of road (and off-road) surfaces means that you have to adapt to several different ways of throwing your car around. The Lagoon cars are the most sensitive and grippy of all, able to get around very tight corners without having to drift (or even slow down, in some cases), and the Stadium cars are much like their counterparts from the previous games: heavy but grippy, with the ability to throw them into a drift with judicious application of the brakes.

There's a 200-level campaign

Yep, 200 races for you to complete. You can't just challenge them in any order, though; you have to start with the "White"-level Canyon tracks, then attain enough medals to unlock the "White" Valley tracks, then the "White" Lagoon tracks and finally the "White" Stadium tracks — only then will you be able to move up to the next tier. The top two tiers of difficulty require silver and gold medals respectively, while the first three only require bronze medals.

This structure is a bit more restrictive than past TrackMania games in that you can't jump back and forth between each environment's mini-campaign if you get fed up with a particular track, but ultimately it gives the game a good sense of progression.

There's a bunch of ways to play multiplayer

TrackMania has always been an incredibly overlooked local multiplayer party game, and hopefully its jump to consoles will help fix that. Turbo incorporates a number of different ways to play together.

Split-Screen is self-explanatory: everyone races together, first over the line wins, and the overall winner is determined by a best of three. This is noteworthy for being one of the only four-player split-screen games I've seen on the last two generations of consoles.

Arcade mode is a flexible mode where you can pick a track and then attempt to set a time using three "credits". The top ten times are recorded on a high score table, so you can challenge your friends to beat your best times that you've previously set — or have a mini-tournament there and then.

Hotseat mode is most similar to the previous games' multiplayer option. Up to 16 players can play in turn, each of whom is given a full tank of gas. Each player then attempts to set a time on the course; if the current leader is beaten, they then have to try and beat their challenger. The process repeats until everyone has run out of gas, and whoever is top of the leaderboard at that point is the winner.

All these local multiplayer modes can be played using any of the 200 campaign tracks (all of which are unlocked from the outset — no need to play single-player to open them up for multiplayer), any tracks you've built using the game's track editor, or a randomly generated track that the game builds for you. This latter option is fun, but a little time-consuming: you can watch the game building the track piece-by-piece, then it has to spend a few moments calculating shadows for the objects it's added. (Pro-Tip: choose "Fast" rather than "Nice" for lighting quality unless you want to wait a good 3 or 4 minutes before you can play the track.)

It's built for console

TrackMania has always felt like a PC game. And I don't necessarily mean that as a positive thing. Past installments have been highly customisable and expandable, but this came at a price: a clunky, inconsistent interface and an online component that required you know about (and are able to set up) dedicated servers and suchlike. The game was considerably expanded by a worldwide community of modders, in other words.

TrackMania Turbo doesn't support mods, nor does it do dedicated servers — at least not in the same way as the earlier PC games. This, naturally, has made the PC crowd get furious as they are wont to do, but really for the average player it's a change for the better. Multiplayer is now a case of just creating a room or joining an existing one. The interface is consistent and controller-friendly. You don't need to worry about having the right mods installed just to make other people's cars show up, or spend time tweaking settings to optimise performance. It is an overused phrase, but TrackMania Turbo just works, and thank God for that.

It's the best arcade racer for years

While many of the more "arcadey" racing games have gone in the open-world direction over the last few years, making for sprawling, unfocused experiences where you dribble from one type of activity to another, TrackMania remains so true to its arcade inspirations that on its title screen it prompts you to "insert coin or press X", followed by the sound of a coin clunking into an arcade machine when the main menu appears.

It's presented well, with a clear, uncluttered interface, wonderful handling and a pick-up-and-play nature that is accessible (but challenging) to all ages, and with the combination of the track editor, the ability to download other players' tracks and the random track generator, has potentially limitless replayability.

So if you like arcade racing — or the technical, puzzle-like stunt racing of titles like Ubisoft stablemate Trials — then you absolutely, definitely should pick up a copy of TrackMania Turbo as soon as possible.

2256: TrackMania Turbo Demo Impressions

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Those who know me well will know that I've been a huge fan of the TrackMania series since the original release of TrackMania United, and have spent many hours on the various updates to United and the eventual follow-ups TrackMania 2 Canyon, Valley and Stadium. So it was with some excitement that I realised that the next official sequel, TrackMania Turbo, was releasing this week, though I was torn on whether to pick it up for console (PS4, in my case) or PC, which has traditionally been the home of TrackMania.

After playing the PS4 demo for a bit this evening, I think I'm going to grab the PS4 version. I'm very impressed with how at home it feels on console — much of the clunkiness of the PC versions, particularly in the menus, has been tidied up considerably, making it much more controller-friendly, and the addition of a variety of local multiplayer modes makes it eminently suitable for console play. It, so far, seems to be a highly polished product, which addresses what has always been my main criticism of the series as a whole: the fact that in terms of gameplay, it is wonderful, but in terms of interface and user-friendliness, it has traditionally been a ridiculous mess, only made worse by the gazillions of mods server operators apply to their custom dedicated servers, making the game screen more complicated than your average MMO come raid time.

PC players on Steam seem to be a bit salty that TrackMania Turbo has stripped out a number of features they've come to take for granted: specifically, the ability for players to run their own dedicated servers and install gajillions of mods that make players' screens look more complicated than your average MMO come raid time. And while this is a bit of a shame from the perspective of the game's flexibility — something that TrackMania has always prided itself on — I don't think it's going to hurt the complete package, and in fact it may well be good for the series as a whole. TrackMania Turbo will serve as the friendly face of TrackMania, in other words, while the truly hardcore still have United and TrackMania 2 to play and mod to their heart's content. Both of those games are still a hell of a lot of fun to play, after all — and surprisingly good looking, to boot, especially considering their age.

But what of TrackMania Turbo then? How does it shape up compared to its illustrious, if clunky, predecessors? Judging from the five tracks available in the demo, extremely favourably. In fact, if the whole game handles in the way those early tracks do, I'm confident that it will become a new favourite arcade racer.

The thing I like the most is the unabashedly arcadey handling. We're talking Ridge Racer-tier drifting here: release the accelerator, steer around a corner and slam the gas back on and you're going sideways. Hit the brakes and you'll find yourself in an even tighter drift, allowing you to get around even the most ridiculous of corners without losing anywhere near as much speed as if you'd have to drive "properly" like in boring driving sims.

The game screen, sans custom mod clutter, is clean, clear and offers ample feedback on your performance as you play, including split times, worldwide and regional rankings, and fun little extras like arcade-style counters showing how far you've jumped or drifted for — a nice addition that gives the game a very "Sega" feel.

I was debating whether or not I wanted to grab the game today. Playing those five tracks in the demo has made me quite happy to pick it up, though; I can see it being a whole lot of fun, and I hope it's a big success, helping to show console players the joy of this wonderfully silly but skillful and creative series.

2251: GTA Online: More Fun Than I Originally Gave it Credit For

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Some friends and I have managed to spend most of today playing Grand Theft Auto Online, the sprawling multiplayer mode for Grand Theft Auto V on… well, everything, but we were playing on PC, because we all have excellent gaming rigs and like it looking lovely and running at 60+ frames per second.

Anyway. Regular readers will know that my reaction to Grand Theft Auto Online has been somewhat lukewarm in the past, but today we had a ton of genuine fun, both in the free-roaming mode and in the more structured activities. I think it's finally won me over as something I want to play more of — I'm still unconvinced that I want to play it with strangers, as popular triple-A game multiplayer modes tend to attract the very worst kind of person, but I definitely want to do a lot more with friends.

It has problems, though; fairly significant ones for an online game. Mostly the issues relate to the overall clunkiness of setting up and managing online sessions. There's no party system, for instance, which makes sticking together with the same group of players when moving from activity to activity a little troublesome at times, though the addition of the "Remain Host" option alleviates this somewhat by ensuring whoever initiates an activity remains in control of the session's options after it's over.

The problems with the party system are further compounded by Rockstar's insistence on using its own proprietary login system for online IDs — the Rockstar Social Club. I can understand why they've done this — there's some nice detailed stat-tracking and suchlike on the Social Club website — but it's a shame it doesn't integrate with something like Steam. On consoles it integrates perfectly with Xbox Live and PlayStation Network, making it straightforward to find and invite people, whereas the addition of an extra layer of user IDs and accounts on the PC version makes it a bit of a faff to get set up to play with friends. Social Club is also a bit of a temperamental beast; we spent nearly an hour at the start of our session earlier with one of our friends steadfastly appearing offline despite him being logged in to GTA Online; turned out the solution was just to open the Social Club interface in game, and then he magically appeared online. Dumb. Broken.

Fortunately, once it works, it seems to stay working for the most part, and while there are a few aspects of the experience you miss out on when playing in small, private sessions rather than in large public games, we certainly didn't feel like we were being deprived of anything to do. Pleasingly, there are a lot of activities tuned for 4 players, which is typically the number of people we manage to have available at any one time, so there were plenty of options for us.

Over time, Grand Theft Auto Online has expanded with a veritable fuckton of new game modes and ways to play, too; open-world activities in Free Mode might challenge you to capture and control an area on the map; "adversary" modes give you unconventional and sometimes asymmetrical ways to compete against each other; missions provide relatively freeform objectives for you to complete as a group. And then, of course, there are the Heists, which we are yet to see one through to its conclusion, but which promise to be a ton of fun.

Particular highlights for us today included the "Hasta la Vista" adversary mode, in which the four participants are split into two teams: two on pedal bicycles, two in big rig truck cabs. The players on the bikes have to reach the finish line. The players in the trucks have to stop them by flattening them. The huge difference in weight, size and manoeuvreability between the two teams makes for a really fun, silly experience that is much more interesting than a straightforward race.

We also had great fun with the air races. In our first race, which gave us free reign to choose our aircraft, I ill-advisedly attempted to fly a small passenger jet and failed miserably to complete the course. In the second, we all flew small, nimble aerobatic planes, and — particularly when played in first-person — it was thrilling and terrifying.

Even just straight deathmatches are fun. The realistic city environments in which the game takes place make for great places to play cat-and-mouse (with shotguns), and it's immensely satisfying to battle your friends for ultimate supremacy, or at least bragging rights.

Grand Theft Auto Online feels like what Grand Theft Auto has always wanted to be: a realistic-looking but chaotic, silly, cartoonishly violent and darkly humorous playground for people to let loose in using a variety of methods: driving, flying, boating, skydiving, cycling, shooting, bombing, robbing, running, climbing, jumping… while I don't think anyone will ever make the argument that it's great art, it's not trying to be; it's a stark contrast from the single-player mode, which does tell a good story and tell it well. Rather, it's a game where the stories are, for the most part, emergent; the stories are the things you reminisce about with the friends you've been playing with, and most of them start with "do you remember that time when…?"

So yeah. Grand Theft Auto Online, your interface sucks and you need to hire people who understand how multiplayer games work. But despite all that, you've won me over. I'm greatly looking forward to the next time I can flatten my friends in a dump truck and blow them up with a rocket launcher.

2237: The Insufferable Frame-Rate Obsessives May Have a Point

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I upgraded the processor on my PC yesterday. It was the last bit that needed upgrading to make it decently up-to-date, and I'd been meaning to do it for a while. It was also a good excuse to wipe everything, reinstall Windows and have a nice fresh, clean system that wasn't clogged up with all manner of crap. For a little while, anyway.

PC gaming, for many people, is the relentless pursuit of ever more impressive frame rates, preferably at ever more impressive resolutions. I've never felt particularly strongly about either, given that my PC is hooked up to my TV and thus is limited to a maximum of 60 frames per second at 1920×1080 resolution; in other words, anything above 60 simply wouldn't benefit what was on screen at all, and in fact would often result in unsightly "screen tearing", where different parts of the screen update at different times. Consequently, I habitually play everything with VSync on, which limits the frame rates to 60 and completely eliminates any tearing. It's kind of deliberately hobbling performance to look better.

That said, even with a theoretical maximum frame rate of 60, my old processor couldn't quite keep up with some of the more modern games. I have a decent graphics card, so nothing was actually unplayable, but I knew that I could probably get more out of said graphics card with better base hardware. Final Fantasy XIV, for example, ran perfectly well at anywhere between about 30 and 60 frames per second depending on how much was going on at the time — it would be pretty damn smooth in the relative peace and quiet of instanced dungeons, while the frame rate would drop a fair bit in densely populated areas or busy battle scenes with lots of players. I'm not someone that these frame rate disparities bothered a great deal, but they were noticeable.

So with some degree of curiosity, after assembling the new bits and pieces and putting my computer back together, I fired up Final Fantasy XIV to investigate if the performance was any better. After a little fiddling with settings — previously, it ran better in "borderless windowed" mode, while now it runs better in dedicated full-screen mode — I was very pleased to discover that it was now running at an absolutely rock-solid 60 frames per second, constantly, regardless of what was happening on the screen at the time. It didn't make a massive difference to the visual fidelity of the game, but it was nice.

Then I jumped into a dungeon, and the true nature of the improvements better hardware brought on became apparent. While the graphics had never really struggled much in dungeons — except with the bizarre bug in the old DirectX 9 version of the game where facing certain directions would cause your frame rate to tank, presumably because the game was trying to render more "out of sight" stuff at once — what really became obvious as I was running with my new hardware was how much more responsive everything was. While the background graphics never really struggled much on my old rig, you could occasionally see things like the interface elements juddering a bit, particularly the damage numbers and status messages that scroll up and down the screen during combat, keeping you informed of what's happening.

Now, those messages are just as smooth as the animations and effects. More importantly, the controls are significantly more responsive, because there aren't any "dead frames", for want of a better word, where the game doesn't register a button input for whatever reason. It was a minor issue before; now it's completely absent, which is lovely. I hadn't anticipated quite how lovely it would be, but it really is; knowing that my performance can no longer be hampered by the complexity of the visuals on screen or how much is happening at the same time around me is a thoroughly pleasant feeling, and, surprisingly, makes the game more enjoyable.

So okay, I'll admit it; frame rate does make a difference. Sometimes. I maintain that "cinematic"-style experiences such as adventure games and their ilk don't particularly benefit from 60fps visuals — they can look nice, but if you're going with realistic imagery, 30fps can sometimes look more "natural" as it's closer to the frame rate of film and TV — but in games where precision and split-second timing are important — fighting games, shoot 'em ups, arcade games, MMOs such as Final Fantasy XIV — smoother hardware performance leads to smoother player performance. Which is kinda cool.

Oh, and no, I haven't tried Crysis yet.

2231: Initial Impressions on Alexander: Midas

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Tonight, we cleared the last area of the new raid dungeon in Final Fantasy XIV… in its "normal" incarnation, anyway. Savage is likely to prove a somewhat stiffer challenge, but regular ol' vanilla had plenty of hurdles to overcome, too.

Now that we've been through all four of the new raids, I thought I'd ponder how I felt about them, and about Alexander as a whole compared to The Binding Coil of Bahamut.

The first thing to note about Alexander is that the overall tone of the whole thing is very different to Coil. Coil represented one of the most serious, dramatic parts of Final Fantasy XIV's story, and over its entirety revealed some very significant background lore about the Allagans and the Meracydians, both of whom we'd seen mentioned (and occasionally explored the relics of) but never encountered, mostly due to them both being long dead.

Alexander, meanwhile, largely concerns the goblins, and much like their Final Fantasy XI counterparts, goblins in Final Fantasy XIV are rather silly, afflicted with distinctive speech patterns and, for the most part, there for comic relief. They're not very threatening, in other words, so for them to be introduced as the main villains of the new raid cycle was… interesting, to say the least.

The overall aesthetic of Alexander is very different to Coil, too. Coil began as an expedition into the bowels of the earth and gradually gave way into a combination of fantastic, otherworldly scenery and pure sci-fi, futuristic environments, many of which were absolutely breathtaking in their scale. Alexander, conversely, has a pretty consistent "steampunk" look throughout its entirety, though Midas does a somewhat better job than Gordias in terms of presenting a bit of variety in the way things look.

This difference in aesthetic extends to the main attraction of the raids, too: the bosses. In Coil, you fought a wide variety of foes, ranging from a giant genetically modified snake to a fearsome dragon god via technologically advanced defence systems, a bioengineered lamia, a robot treant and, of course, the reincarnation of Final Fantasy XIV 1.0's main villain, Nael van Darnus, now going by Nael deus Darnus having apparently changed gender and gone a bit, well, dragonish.

Alexander, conversely, sees you fighting a lot of things in a similar mould: in Gordias, you fight a large steampunk robot thing, followed by a swarm of goblins and large steampunk robot things, followed by a squishy Pepsiman wannabe in what appears to be a sewage outlet, concluding with a battle against The Manipulator, which is a large steampunk robot thing. Midas is a bit better: first you fight a mad scientist goblin who keeps drinking his own concoctions and growing to Hulk-like proportions, then you fight a series of four large steampunk robot things, then you fight the main villain of the plot arc (and his cat), then finally you fight five large steampunk robot things — four of which you fought earlier in the raid — that then combine to make one enormous steampunk robot thing.

While I still like Alexander less than Coil in terms of its aesthetic and enemy designs, Midas is a big step in a better direction. Everything about it is better, from the variety between the four areas to the background plot that is revealed as you progress, which was rather lacking and forgettable in Gordias. It still lacks some of the outright drama that Coil had — the final boss of this particular cycle is an intense fight, but it's more chaotically humorous than terrifying like Twintania, Nael and Bahamut were — but things are improving a lot.

Of particular note is the boss music for the final boss, which I present with some pleasure for you below, in all its '70s anime glory:

Happy with how things have turned out with 3.2. I was getting concerned the game was losing its magic, but it's well and truly back on target.