#oneaday Day 719: Being a Further Missive on the Excellence of Community (the Televisual Entertainment Programme, Not the Social Concept)

I've now watched every currently-available episode of Community, in some cases more than once. And doing so has confirmed the show as a new favourite, ranked right up with Spaced and some of the best of recent British comedy.

(I'm going to get mildly spoilery at various points throughout the next few paragraphs, so if you care about that sort of thing, then stop reading now.)

Here's why Community is so wonderful, then.

First up, it strikes the perfect balance between the mundane and the absurd. The main cast's backstories are all somewhat tragic and quite serious in some cases, but the situations into which they all get are frequently bizarre, odd and downright hilarious. But when the time comes to drop the stupidity and "be serious" for a moment, the show always manages to do so with dignity and without feeling overly "preachy". Jeff's speeches are a predictable part of the show — so much so that the characters even reference them on regular occasions — but they often provide a good amount of "closure", either to an episode, or to one act at least. In some ways, it's like South Park, with bizarre, frequently borderline-offensive humour punctuated by material which is making a point — be it satire, moralising or simple observations on life.

Secondly, the characters themselves are interesting and well-defined. They all have two specifically-identifiable features: a character trait and their appearance. Every character has their own unique way of responding to the situations the group comes across, and every character has their own unique, instantly recognisable look. This isn't to say they become predictable, however (Jeff's speeches notwithstanding) — on a number of occasions we find out more about them when they don't do what we expect.

Britta is a particularly good example of this. In the first episode, she's introduced as "the hot girl", the impossibly beautiful eye candy whom all the male viewers would very much like to… well, you know. Jeff (the impossibly beautiful eye candy whom all the female viewers would very much like to… etc) wants to get into her pants, so he sets up the fake study group, thereby setting up the whole series. It'd be easy for the show to have been all about those two, with both Jeff and Britta remaining somewhat shallow, predictable characters. But any time we see Britta making the hideous social faux pas that she becomes known for ("turning it into a snake!"), we suddenly have sympathy for her. She's no longer the unattainably attractive perfect blonde girl, she's a human. Jeff finds himself the subject of similar sympathy on a number of occasions throughout, though generally not for making social faux pas.

Thirdly, and continuing on the subject of the cast, the chemistry between them is excellent, and a real highlight of the show. The show doesn't make a big deal out of the blossoming, budding, potential relationships among the group — it's somewhat more natural, and that's what makes it all the more powerful. Every stolen glance, hint of a smile, lingering hug — it all adds up and makes each and every relationship feel real, and you're right there with them, feeling that "will they/won't they" feeling as if you were the one hoping to steal a kiss from your favourite. It's a far cry from Ross and Rachel, anyway — there's no angst, no whining, no "on-off-break" drama, just realistic, adult relationships between people who are convincingly awkward about such things.

Jeff and Annie's relationship throughout the show is a particular highlight, and this was a surprise for me as I watched each episode for the first time. I was expecting the show to focus on Jeff trying to convince Britta that he was worth bothering with, but in fact the relationship which seems to be explored the most is that between Jeff and Annie — and it's between these two that the on-screen chemistry is so utterly compelling. When the first season ends with that kiss between the two of them after all the drama with Britta and Professor Slater, it's a surprise, but a welcome one. There's a lot of subtle setup prior to this point, with things looking like they were coming to a head with the "debate" episode, but then tailing off as the two seemed to think it'd be "wrong" somehow — largely due to the age gap between them.

As of the time of writing, whatever electricity is between them hasn't been fully resolved, and there's growing tension between Troy and Britta, too. It'll be interesting to see how these are developed when (not "if", at last!) the show returns later in the spring.

It's not all about the main cast, though. A big part of the humour in the show comes from its supporting actors, too. While we don't learn a lot about Leonard, for example, we do pick up a number of nuggets of information during his brief appearances and a memorable shot of his frozen pizza reviews YouTube channel in the credits of one late episode. The Dean, conversely, gets plenty of screen time and we get to know quite a bit about this character. Initially appearing to be something of a predictable camp, gay stereotype, we gradually come to discover his hidden nuances, particularly in later episodes, with it all coming to a head (no pun intended) with his revelations in the episode where he shoots the new Greendale commercial.

And all this isn't even getting into the wonderful "special" episodes. The paintball episodes, the Dungeons and Dragons episode, the stop-motion Christmas special, the spectacular anime sequences in the fussball episode, the Glee episode which rounded out the first half of the third season — some of the most memorable moments in TV right there. But I digress.

The sign of a good show of this type is if you'd want to hang out with the characters in your own time. And I can say with some certainty that if I had the opportunity to join that study group, I'd do so in a heartbeat. Sure, I'd probably fail every exam I took, but I'd have formed some of the most memorable friendships of my life.

The cast and crew of the show have done an astonishingly good job on creating one of the best shows in recent years. I hope against hope it isn't made to die before its time due to its apparently poor ratings — but at least fans can take comfort from the fact that the show has been confirmed to be returning to complete its third season in the spring of this year. Beyond that, who knows?

Would that this desk were a Time Desk, so I could travel forward to the future and see if it runs for six seasons and a movie…

#oneaday Day 702: You Should Really Watch Community

Following relentless enthusing from the renowned raconteur and man-about-town Campfire Burning, I decided to spend part of the Christmas Amazon voucher from my brother on the Season 1 DVD of Community.

I knew nothing about the show going in, not even the premise. I'm pleased to report that it is, by far, one of the best pieces of television I've ever seen. Granted, I am but ten or so episodes into the run, but if it continues to be of this high quality throughout, then I will be very happy indeed.

For those unfamiliar with the show, it's set at a community college where a series of "dropouts" from all walks of life have showed up in an attempt to better themselves and get their life back on track. Throughout the course of the show, we learn bits and pieces about these colourful characters' backgrounds — what brought them to Greendale Community College, what it was that happened in their past life to make them hit "rock bottom" and how they put a positive outlook on their respective positions.

It's strong character-based comedy-drama, with an emphasis on the "character" and "comedy" side of things. Every single member of the cast is a strong character in their own right, each with their own quirks, foibles and immediately identifiable idiosyncrasies. This even extends to the fact that each one is immediately visually identifiable, too, with their own unique "looks" allowing you to learn more about them even when they're not speaking.

But it's their interactions with one another where the show shines. There are a number of clashing personalities in the little group, and the way they learn to deal with each other is what the show is all about. Sometimes they get it very, very wrong, with hilarious consequences. And sometimes they get it right, leading to some very touching moments.

By the time the first episode is over, you're fully invested in these characters and their futures. They may all have their own flaws, but this makes them both believable and likeable. Not one of them is "perfect", and while each one of them has their own obvious "signature" quirk written into their role, they remain believable enough to be characters that you'd want to spend time with, to find out more about.

Take our leading man Jeff Winger: ex-lawyer, smooth talker and a man used to getting what he wants. Jeff's character could very easily have tipped over into "obnoxious" territory, but his character displays sufficient depth to make us root for him in spite of the moments when he acts like a complete asshole. His interactions with the group he finds himself attached to lead him to learn a number of things about himself — and in turn, the other members of the group figure out things about themselves, too.

I shan't give specifics as part of the joy of the show is discovering what makes these people tick, and seeing what they'll get up to next. Also, at slightly less than halfway through the season, I can't say what will happen next. But suffice to say, what I have seen so far has been exemplary television — entertaining, funny, touching and never outstaying its welcome. I recommend it without hesitation to anyone who wants to see something a bit different from the usual American sitcom. (I will also say that the post-episode skits over the credits are some of the funniest things I've ever seen, too.)

So what are you waiting for, hmm? GET!

#oneaday Day 647: Badvertising

There are some truly awful adverts on TV at the moment. The trouble is, I can name pretty much every one of them, meaning that this badvertising is actually proving effective, meaning that there'll inevitably be more of it. Worse, people actually seem to actively like some of this stupid nonsense, meaning they go viral and enter culture at large.

Let's take the Confused.com adverts. These have developed a life of their own over the years. Formerly, their crazy-haired mascot was just that — a mascot or, more accurately, a logo. Now, however, she's jumping around, singing some butchered version of YMCA which has been badly edited so it doesn't flow properly and, to make it even worse, the animators have actually taken the time to make her boobs jiggle.

The butchering of a popular song seems to be a much-used approach at the moment. DHL do it with their latest, which puts some nonsense about "logistics" (don't even get me started on that one) in place of "That's Amoré" or whatever the song is actually called. And there are doubtless others out there.

Then we have hair care and beauty products, which are in a whole world of their own. One commercial at the moment actually promises "even more science". Others make up lists of "seven signs of aging" or "thirty-eight signs of damaged hair" or "twelve signs your vagina is about to fall out". For example.

One of the best-worst adverts at the moment is for Müller yogurts. It's an impressive homage to kids' TV of the past, featuring characters like Yogi Bear and the Mr Men in some sort of terrifying dystopian future where cartoon characters are possessing humanity, but it has absolutely nothing to do with yogurt. You can guarantee it will have been a subject of discussion at water coolers across the country, but will it sell yogurts? I have no idea.

By far the most infuriating place to watch ads is on YouTube, which appears to carry a library of approximately two ads at any one time and play the same ones every time you want to watch a TV programme, then again halfway through. Thankfully, recently, a bug in the system means that they often cut off early, leading to some interesting edits — the best of which is clearly the Coors advert, which opens with Jean Claude van Damme saying "Hello, I am van Damme. My pants froze," and often cuts off at just that point.

Advertising serves a purpose, of course. Without it some things wouldn't get funded. But does it have to be quite so fucking irritating?

#oneaday Day 631: Meaty Goodness

A lot of people, both inside and outside the UK, assume that the best TV comes from the BBC. Sure, Doctor Who is great and there have been some great drama series from our publicly-funded friends over the years, but on balance, it's clearly Channel 4 that has the best stuff.

Spaced, Black Books, Brass Eye, Peep Show — there's a veritable plethora of excellent shows out there, most of them in the comedy genre, and the vast majority of which involve –and are written by — the same people.

The latest Channel 4 show to be up and coming is Fresh Meat, a new show from the creators of Peep Show. Peep Show is known for featuring that uniquely British brand of uncomfortable humour, and Fresh Meat continues that tradition suitably aptly, though with something of a more surreal edge at times.

The show is based around a small ensemble cast of first-year students, and is mostly set in their shared house where they've been thrown together as tends to happen in the early days of university. The setup is perfect for some character-based comedy, and writers Jesse Armstrong and Sam Bain take full advantage of this fact. The characters have some great chemistry between them, and each of them is just bizarre enough to be memorable without crossing the line into complete stupidity. Highlight of the show has to be Howard, a Scotsman of indeterminate age who has lived in the shared house for longer than he perhaps should have. Howard is introduced drying off some chickens (if I remember correctly) with a hair-dryer, while not wearing any pants.

Ironically, throughout the subsequent episodes, it's Howard that turns out to be, if anything, the most normal, sensible of the characters. Man-eating Vod regularly overindulges in various chemical substances and isn't quite aware of what she's doing; Oregon is self-consciously trying not to be lame (and ends up regularly cracking those jokes that no-one ever laughs at); Josie and Kingsley have an infuriating will they-won't they relationship and Jack Whitehall's JP character is endearingly obnoxious.

If nothing else, it's nice to see a show based around a cast of students which doesn't take itself too seriously. It's all too easy for shows to get caught up in interpersonal relationships and betrayal and whatnot, and before you know it you're Hollyoaks. And no-one wants to be Hollyoaks. Thankfully, Fresh Meat is not Hollyoaks.

It's early days for the new show as yet, but early indications are promising. It's amusing and filled with entertainingly puerile gags in a Peep Show/The Inbetweeners sort of style, but has a good sense of an unfolding plot, strong characters and a pleasing cameo appearance from Robert Webb.

If you haven't had a chance to check out the show yet, UK residents can catch up with it on YouTube.

#oneaday Day 593: X Marks the Spot

I watched The X-Factor tonight and for once didn't immediately want to rip my eyeballs out and fling them at the TV. I'm not entirely sure of the precise reasons for this, as the tried and tested formula for the show — including the overuse of Carmina Burrana — is present and correct. But I think it can almost entirely be attributed to Simon Cowell.

For many people, Simon Cowell was The X-Factor. His cynical, rude, petty observations masquerading as "feedback" were the main reason many people watched the show. His boorishness and arrogance was perversely appealing; he became an anti-hero, a person people loved to hate.

But now he's no more; the panel is now made up of Louis Walsh (wishy washy as ever); Tulisa from N-Dubz (arguably the only one from that particular outfit to have any vague talent and even if she doesn't is at least semi-hot); Kelly Rowland (American); and Gary Barlow. It's a lineup made up almost entirely of recording artists rather than record execs, and that gives it a different feeling altogether. While it's easy to be cynical about the pop fluff that Tulisa, Rowland and Barlow have ejaculated from their vocal cords, they've experienced the business firsthand and are musicians — or at least performers. The feedback they'll be able to offer the prospective stars, then, will be of a different type to that from record execs who always have one eye on the bottom line. Possibly, anyway.

The audition phase — which now inexplicably takes place in front of a massive audience — also seems to have been toned down somewhat, even if its presentation is somewhat more bombastic. By that I mean there's less focus on the "wacky" failures and a little more in the way of people with actual talent. Sure, part of the appeal of the auditions phase is to see people make a tit of themselves, but that whole shtick — much like Cowell's "Mr Nasty" approach — has been getting old for some time, so this slight shift in formula makes the programme feel pleasingly fresh. If it's enough to make me stomach a whole episode without wanting to inflict bodily injuries on myself and everyone around me, they're doing something right.

I can't say for sure if the changes are enough to make me want to sit and watch the whole series — particularly the interminable series of live shows which seem to go on forever towards the end of each run — but I'm certainly a lot more willing to give this televisual candyfloss the time of day than I ever have before. I might feel differently as soon as the usual "audience booing anything they believe to be 'unfair' negative feedback even when it's perfectly correct" nonsense starts again; but for now, it's vaguely enjoyable, inoffensive fluff. And that, certainly, is a considerable degree of progress over what I've thought of the series in the past.

#oneaday Day 538: New Scientific Discovery

Just a few days after I bemoaned the fact television is generally awful, today I discovered Brainiac. I had heard the name before, but I had never watched it before. Now I'm hooked, already.

For the uninitiated, Brainiac is essentially a kids' science show for adults. This means that it undertakes thoroughly silly experiments, such as attempting to see which pieces of hospital equipment make the most practical vehicles when propelled by carbon dioxide fire extinguishers, and infuses them with a layer of good old-fashioned British innuendo, such as a leather-clad scientist lady asking "how hard is your thing?" before inviting a selection of nerdy-looking men to display their hard objects to her, which she then drops a ton of bricks on, angle grinds and sets fire to.

Hosted initially by Richard Hammond of Top Gear fame and later Vic Reeves of, err, Vic Reeves fame, it's a thoroughly silly show that doesn't try to be anything more than it is — a bunch of grown men and women performing throughly silly yet visually entertaining exercises under the tenuous pretence that they're "doing Science". GLaDOS would be proud.

I suppose thinking about it, it's perhaps, ironically, not the most cerebral show in the world — the last one I watched featured an experiment to determine which foodstuffs produce the smelliest farts, judged by a member of the crew who'd been on holiday recently rating them out of ten and memorably describing the smell of a fart from a man who'd been eating nothing but Brussels sprouts as "like a hermit's earmuff". But then there are genuinely interesting scientific titbits, too, such as the revelation that custard is a non-Newtonian liquid, which means when impacted it has the properties of a solid and otherwise has the properties of a liquid. This means, as the team (including Jon Tickle of Big Brother fame) demonstrates, that it's possible to walk across a swimming pool filled with custard, so long as you keep moving. If you stop, you'll sink into it like quicksand.

I haven't sat down and genuinely watched kids' TV for quite some time — I've had no real reason to, as I've not had a hangover for quite a while — so I'm not sure if kids have an equivalent "YAY SCIENCE!" programme available for them to watch. I remember there being quite a few programmes involving "YAY SCIENCE!" and "YAY MATHS!" when I was little — mostly involving Johnny Ball, as I recall — but I have to admit I'd be surprised if the same sort of thing still existed today.

Still, there's nothing stopping the kids from watching Brainiac, of course — it appears to air on Sunday mornings, so what's to stop them wondering why the men with the objects look so uncomfortable when the nice lady in the tight suit asks them how hard is their thing?

Here's a clip for you to enjoy if you've never had the pleasure.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkJdaU92Ln8]

#oneaday Day 536: IdiotBox

TV is rubbish. TV is so rubbish that I generally avoid the act of watching it whenever possible, usually preferring to catch the few things I do actually think are worth watching via video on demand services or purchasing a DVD.

It's difficult to pin down exactly what the most rubbish thing about TV is, though. Is it the asinine programming, in which the nation still doesn't seem to have noticed that The X-Factor, Britain's Got Talent, Over the Rainbow, Shitbag Maria and literally (okay, maybe not literally) tens of thousands of other shows are all actually exactly the same thing? Yes.

Is it the stations' inability to record more than one promo reel for an upcoming show and then bombard you with the same 15 clips every 5 minutes until the show actually starts and you find yourself actively wanting to avoid it? Yes.

Is it the fact that the BBC1 announcer sounds like he's extremely uncomfortable when announcing programmed? Yes.

Is it the fact that Dave, despite having about 15 years worth of Top Gear repeats to draw on, insists on playing the same episode at least twice in one day, so that you can watch half of it at lunchtime and randomly turn on the TV around dinnertime to find yourself picking up exactly where you left off? Yes.

Or is it the fact that advertisers treat you like idiots? "We're real lawyers," say InjuryLawyers4U (pro-tip: if you have to make your main selling point the fact that your law firm employs "real lawyers", you're not exactly filling me with confidence). "I got the money I needed with QuickQuidDotCoDotYouKay," says a woman with an unconvincing mouth and all the sincerity of a jam sponge. "Special K is only for women with body image issues!" implies a cereal advert. "Only women may shop in Boots!" suggests Boots, having now used the same piece of music for so long that even fans of the Sugababes want to throw things at the TV every time the ads come on. "All men are bellends who only care about sticking their cock in things and drinking, possibly at the same time!" imply 95% of adverts. "If you smell nice, slutty women will fall at your feet and get their baps out!" screams the Lynx advert, thereby condemning the entire country to continually smelling like a gypsy's jockstrap. YES.

So in short, TV is shite and the few genuinely good things that do get made either get buried in the schedules and forgotten (Firefly) or repeated so often you can watch them with the sound off and do the dialogue yourself without any difficulty (Friends).

Thank God for whoever decided that video on demand might actually be a good idea. Because although you still occasionally get shitty adverts, you can easily avoid all the crap with the added bonus that you don't have to fit your schedule around an inanimate object — it fits its schedule around you. And that's the way it should stay.

At least until the machine uprising, of course.

#oneaday Day 134: Eurovision

I'd say "sorry for the late entry", but looking at the clock it's somehow only 11pm and yet my pissed-up state makes it feel a great deal later, and that going to bed and sleep would be a Very Good Idea right now. In fact, I'd already gone to bed before I realised I hadn't written today's entry, and promptly leapt out of bed to sort out that situation forthwith. Fortunately, my awesome girlfriend Andie has already succumbed to the lure of sleep, so she probably won't notice that I snuck off to write this, at least until tomorrow morning, when she might read it.

The reason I'm so pissed-up is because of the Eurovision song contest. It's been some time since I last watched it, but as I recall, the last few times I watched it also involved a great deal of drinking, even without the use of The Eurovision Drinking Game, the rules of which seem to vary from social group to social group.

Tonight's rules involved drinking whenever you saw someone (not necessarily a lead singer) who was "hot", any time there was a key change (disappointingly infrequent this year) and, as the evening proceeded, a variety of other criteria, including light-up outfits and "if you felt like it".

As I say, it's been a while since I watched Eurovision and the songs on display this year seemed disappointingly short of the usual cheesy nonsense and skirt-ripping usually on display. France, in particular, seemed to be taking the whole thing very seriously, with a quasi-operatic number that seemed completely out of place. I hasten to add we've turned it off before all the voting is over — mostly because the voting goes on for hours and hours and hours but at least partly because of the amount of vodka and Tizer (classy) that has been consumed throughout the course of the evening.

Jedward were on fine form representing Ireland, exhibiting a song which required them to do little more than shout a bit whilst dressed as homosexual space marines while their backing singers did 95% of the work. The UK's entry Blue was rather weak, with some dodgy tuning issues in the solo singing, but some nice harmonies. As usual, there were conspiracy theories about the UK entry's mixing making it appear worse than it was, which I feel is missing the point somewhat — however much we used to enjoy dancing to Blue in Kaos "back in the day", they were never that good really, were they?

Germany's entry was notable for featuring a spectacularly hot lead singer (the same one as last year, I believe, not that I watched it last year) and a song that was actually quite listenable and a bit Portishead-ish. The fact it was quite listenable, however, meant that it was completely inappropriate for Eurovision.

In fact, the whole thing was disappointingly light on eccentricity this year — there was no Norwegian death metal, and only one group featured a unicycle. Maybe next year it'll get back on track.

Also, it's not the same without Wogan.

Anyway. I'm off my face (and surprisingly coherent despite this) so I'm off to bed now. Good night.

#oneaday Day 118: Among Friends

It's said that you can't switch on your TV and not be able to watch an episode of Top Gear, Friends or Scrubs. And far from being a bad thing, I feel this is very much a good thing. Your opinion on the matter will, of course, vary according to your opinion of the programmes in question. But I happen to like them all very much.

Friends in particular, it has to be said. Friends finished long ago now, of course, but it will always hold a fond place in my heart. I started watching it when I was back at school, and it quickly became one of those shows that I felt the need to tape every single episode of, and ended up with several bajillion VHS cassettes' worth.

I'm not sure exactly what it is that I like about it. I think it's the fact that the characters are very strong and recognisable — so much so that their own mannerisms have entered the realms of popular culture.

There's also the fact that most people can relate to at least one of the characters. Amongst all my friends, I know plenty of people who are Joeys, Rosses, Chandlers, Monicas, Phoebes and Rachels. And plenty who are combinations. (I also know plenty of people who are the cast of The Inbetweeners, too, but that's another story altogether.)

Mostly, though, I think it's the fact that every episode is both inoffensive and amusing, easy to watch and seemingly infinitely rewatchable. The ultimate in disposable TV. Comfort viewing.

It'll be a sad day for me if E4 ever stop showing episodes of Friends. For one, it'll mean I finally have to bite the bullet and purchase the complete DVD box set, something which I've successfully managed to avoid doing for the last ten years.

In unrelated news, it's my birthday tomorrow. I will be 30. How exciting! Or possibly depressing, I haven't quite made my mind up yet. (Except my lovely girlfriend is whisking me away for a fantastic birthday weekend, so the event itself will be totally brilliant and awesome, so that's pretty much decided. Hurrah!)

#oneaday Day 84: The Crossovers That Will Never Be

There's a ton of untapped potential in the world of the crossover. Comics have been wise to this for a long time, with DC and Marvel in particular being highly aware of the fact that all their superheroes are running around disparate parts of the same world and might just bump into each other on occasion.

But what would happen if some of the more bizarre crossovers came to fruition? Well, let's explore that, shall we?

Castlevania: Deep Space Nine

The most modern the series has got was with Soma Cruz, and even then it was still all bats and caves and swords and whatnot. Castlevania should go to space, and specifically to Deep Space Nine. Why? Because I had a dream about it so therefore it must be a good idea.

Benjamin Sisko discovers that as well as being the Emissary he is also a descendent of the Belmont clan and—horrors!—Dracula has found a way to harness the power of the Bajoran wormhole to summon forth the forces of Darkness into our reality. Fortunately, power of said wormhole also manages to summon Alucard, with little to no explanation as to why (this is Castlevania, you don't ask silly questions like "why?") who very carefully passes Sisko the Vampire Killer whip. Thus begins an exciting and thrilling co-operative adventure throughout the many decks of Deep Space Nine, culminating in a thrilling showdown with Dracula, who reprises his famous "What Is A Man?" speech in zero gravity.

Features narration by Patrick Stewart, as is the law for all new Castlevania games.

Dragon's Den: Origins

The Archdemon is rising, and the world needs a hero. But heroes don't just come out of nowhere. They need to be found.

Enter The Dragons: Peter Jones, Deborah Meaden, Theo Paphitis, Duncan Bannatyne and James Caan. A series of aspiring Heroes of Ferelden climb the stairs of destiny and pitch their ideas with which they believe they'll be able to take down the Archdemon. Only by securing a Dragon's investment in their expedition will they have a chance of success, otherwise they'll be doomed to wandering the land in rusty chainmail using swords that fall apart as soon as you hit a log with them.

Superman: The Krypton Factor

A brand new gameshow featuring Superman attempting to overcome a variety of physical and mental challenges, all of which are laced with kryptonite. Will Superman survive this episode? Will he finally succumb to kryptonite's influence? As the series finale, Superman has to defeat Gordon Burns in single combat, as it turns out that Burns, too, is also a superhero, but one who draws power from kryptonite instead of being weakened by it. WHO WILL PREVAIL?

Total WipeOut HD Fury

A combination of futuristic racing and people falling in the water repeatedly, the twist is that the courses which the high-speed anti-grav racers and the people running around have to follow are the same, causing significant risk to life and limb for anyone hopping over those giant Super Mario mushrooms whilst the pack bears down on them at approximately 700mph. The winner is the team whose antigrav racer and panicking human both survive.

The Hairy Bikers in: Road Rash

The Hairy Bikers have had enough, and have decided to take on a gruesome, brutal world tour atop their throbbing motorbikes. Along the way, they smack the shit out of anyone unfortunate enough to cross their path, collect the meat from the smouldering corpses and cook it into a delicious recipe between each stage of their journey.