#oneaday Day 542: Vrr vrr vrr

I didn't buy much in the Black Friday sales this year. In fact, I only bought one "thing" and one Steam game (Mini Motorways, which is lovely).

The "thing" I bought is an under-desk elliptical trainer thing, ostensibly for "seniors", but also, I figured, eminently suitable for someone like me who needs to get some exercise, but has difficulty with the whole "motivating oneself to go outside the house" thing for various reasons.

Also I wanted something that would allow me to give my legs in particular a bit of gentle exercise, and that I could use while doing other things, and that wouldn't be discouragingly difficult to use for someone as unfit as I am.

I forget exactly how I ended up looking at these things. I do know that the first product I saw was a vibrating foot massager thing that supposedly "mimicked the motion of walking", but just looked hilarious to see people using in the promotional videos. From there, it recommended me these under-desk elliptical doodads, and from there I picked one that 1) had good reviews and 2) wasn't obscenely expensive, and now here we are, with me the proud owner of a Lubbygim [sic] Under Desk Elliptical Machine Quiet Motorized Leg Exerciser with Smart Remote, 12-Speed Manual Programs Auto/3 Auto Programs LCD Display & Bidirectional Motion for Home/Office.

Yes, as that absurd product name will probably tell you, I was shopping on Amazon. As loathe as I am to further line the pockets of billionaires and contribute to the exploitation of workers, they had something I was looking for, offered it at a good price and got it to me in good time. So /shrug, I guess.

And the thing seems pretty good! Its supposedly "non-slip" feet do, in fact, slip, so I have paired it with a non-slip mat (which also slips, but less than the feet did) and installed it under my working desk, so now I can make use of it during the working day, on my lunch break and any time I'm just sitting in my study doing things. The way I have it set up makes it ideal for using while watching a long YouTube video or TV programme.

It's a fairly no-frills device. As the ridiculous product name suggests, it has a fully manual mode where you can control the speed and direction of the pedals, and also three automatic modes that vary the speed and direction over the course of a half-hour programme. I'm not entirely sure if the three different programmes are supposed to be varying degrees of "difficulty" or intensity, but I'm assuming they are; I did a "programme 3" earlier and it seemed to spend a lot more time at the higher speeds than the rather gentle "programme 1".

What I like about it is that it's easy to just stick on and let your legs do the walking while you forget about it. This, to me, is the optimal way to exercise; the absolute worst thing you can do while attempting to get some exercise is to watch the clock, because that's what makes a ten-minute session on a treadmill feel like you're hiking up Mount Everest. With this thing being the way it is, though, today I've found it absolutely easy to put in nearly two hours of wibbling my legs around a bit in total. And that, I hope, will be beneficial in the long term.

I'm under no illusions: this thing doesn't offer an intense enough workout to really play any significant role in exercise for weight loss, but that's not why I wanted one of these. I just wanted something that would get my legs moving a bit, because I spend all day sitting working, and all night sitting entertaining myself, and frankly my legs are old and stupid enough to have started going "nope, not having that" any time I want to get up and actually do something. And I don't like that. It worries me a bit; I don't want to end up in a situation where I just can't use my legs. I'm pretty certain that it wouldn't come to that without some sort of drastic accident, but I also don't want to put myself in a position where it's even a slight possibility.

And so sticking this thing on and going vrr vrr vrr for at least half an hour every day is my way of preventing that. Hopefully, anyway. It's only been two days so far, so I'm not entirely sure I'm feeling any specific benefit just yet, but over the long term, I hope it will help me be even a little bit more active — or I'd settle for it just helping my knees hurt a little bit less.

See that? Personal growth, that is. Probably.


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#oneaday Day 541: Back to school

I often think about my time at school and, while there were certainly elements of my experiences as a teenager I am very glad to have left behind, there's a lot I miss — to such a degree that I often find myself wondering if there is any sort of way one can get oneself into a situation, as an adult, that works similarly to school. A situation that isn't, like, prison or something.

I thrived in school — particularly secondary school. For the most part, I dealt well with the inherently predictable nature of a timetable — though I have recurring quasi-nightmares about being back at school and not having a clue what my weekly schedule is — and I didn't even mind having homework all that much. I did well in lessons, though I tended to be fairly quiet rather than the sort of person who was always the first to answer teachers' questions, and I ended up with good grades. Not perfect grades, mind, but good grades, nonetheless.

I'm not really sure what it is about the school experience — as opposed to, say, university — that I find so particularly appealing. Perhaps it's the inherent variety of things that you study, at least up until you start choosing "Options" for Years 10-11 and, if you're going on to do them, Years 12 and 13. There's definitely an element of that, because when I think back on some of my fondest memories of time at school, the visual part of the memories is very much associated with my "lower school" experience — Years 7-9.

That was the time when you study all sorts of things, with multiple subjects every day, and each and every day was packed with things to do. Sure, you didn't always like every one of those things you had to do each day — for me, Maths and P.E. were my particular bugbears — but you endured them, along with the things you actually liked, and sometimes you'd even surprise yourself with how well you ended up performing. I have zero achievements of note in P.E., but I did get an "A" in Maths at GCSE, which was pleasing.

Early secondary school is a time you get exposed to a lot of things you wouldn't have thought about studying, too. I remember being surprised how much I enjoyed language lessons — particularly German, which I liked more than French — and Science, although not a subject I had any intention of pursuing beyond a passing interest, was always full of interesting and unusual situations.

As you might expect, my biggest strengths were English and Music. In English, I relished the opportunity to write a lengthy essay about something we'd been studying — whether it was on the "language" or "literature" side of the fence — while in Music, I was often quite ambitious with my compositions, and in terms of performance I was considerably ahead of anyone else in my class thanks to the years of private piano lessons I'd had by that point.

It was nice to be good at something, and to have tangible proof that I was good at it in the form of good grades, certificates and, eventually, qualifications. I think that might be one of the things I miss the most in life as an adult — the simple knowledge and confidence that you can do something, and that someone is going to acknowledge that you are good at something, even reward you for it. It didn't have to be a big reward — I was a sucker for the "Merits" and "Commendations" we had at secondary school, and those were just little signatures on a page of our Journal and occasional certificates — but that little bit of acknowledgement that yes, there was something you were good at, and that gave you value as a human being, was pleasant.

I am not, obviously, advocating for modern employers to start implementing systems of "Merits" and "Commendations" for their employees, because I feel that most people would probably find the whole thing incredibly patronising. Interestingly, back during my brief period of time working for the shithole energy company SSE, I found myself thinking that a lot of the way the company did things was like how it was back in school — but in that situation, it was a negative thing. The difference? SSE wasn't interested in celebrating the successes of people and the things they were good at — they were, instead, obsessed with making themselves, as a company, look good, and specifically going looking for things they could reprimand their employees for.

Schools have to have a solid behavioural policy in place, of course, but I always found it pretty easy not to run afoul of it — and on the few occasions when I did, I knew it was a completely fair cop. SSE, meanwhile, would bollock you if you didn't hold the handrail when going up some stairs, for going under your desk to pick up a pen you'd dropped without wearing a "bump cap", and for not reporting the fact that you'd spilled a tiny bit of water from your cup carrying it back from the cooler to your desk — and all that absurdity meant that there was no time left to actually praise anyone for doing a good job.

So you can't just transplant elements of the school structure into a corporate environment without thinking about the things that make school good for those who thrive in that environment. I don't know what the answer is, and at this point I'm not even entirely sure what the question is any more either. I'm rambling. I'm tired. I'm a bit cold. So I think I'll leave that there and go to bed!


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#oneaday Day 539: Adults need 2,000 calories a day

One thing I always find difficult to get my head around is the concept that "adults need around 2,000 calories per day", as quoted on most nutritional information labels. Because there's one thing that counting calories each day makes very clear to me: it is very easy to burn through 2,000 calories or more (as a big lad, I can have a few more and still be within my "allowance" for theoretically losing weight) while barely realising it.

I had a Meal Deal the other day that calculated to well over a thousand calories. A thousand! For a thousand calories I want something better than a soggy supermarket sandwich and a bag of all-right-but-nothing-special crisps. (Okay, there was a chocolate bar and a Red Bull also. But still.)

I know the answer to this is "eat more fruit and vegetables", since both of those things are, in theory, 1) filling and 2) low in calories, comparatively speaking. But they're so boring. That's the trouble. If fruit and vegetables were more interesting, and if they didn't run the risk of going off before you have a chance to get to them, it'd be much easier to prioritise them. I suppose the answer to that is to not have things in the house that you'd rather eat than fruits and vegetables, but I tend to find that is when you start getting into the "I'm bored of everything we have in the house, I'm going to go to the shop and blow a thousand-plus calories on a Meal Deal" territory, which is counter-productive.

So what's the answer to that? Balance, probably. But it's frustrating when you, say, have what feels like an eminently modest breakfast (a bowl of cereal, say) and an unremarkable lunch (a jacket potato, for example, or a simple sandwich) and you've blown through so many calories in the process. And if you eat less, then you just end up hungry and wanting to eat more, and you overcompensate with snacks.

How the bloody hell does anyone get through a day with just 2,000 calories? More to the point, how does anyone stay slim (or at least "normal-sized") with the myriad, highly calorific temptations that are everywhere in modern life, even if you're not specifically going looking for a "treat"?

If I can figure all that out, this whole "weight loss" thing might be much easier. But unfortunately I'm not any closer to working things out just yet. Maybe it's one of those things where you just have to take it a bit at a time. Perhaps the next time we go shopping I'll try and prioritise some form of nice fruit for snacking purposes rather than other, potentially more calorific options, and then go from there. We'll see.


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#oneaday Day 538: Coiled spring

You can tell the end of the year is rolling around. Everyone's getting ill, and everyone is getting stressed. I am, of course, no exception to either of these things — though I do appear to have mostly shaken off my last bout of Seasonal Cold, at least. That feeling of my mind being scrunched up into a tight little ball, ready to explode outwards in thoroughly stressed-out frustration, though? Present and correct.

It's been an exhausting period at work with the Black Friday sales and whatnot. What makes things doubly exhausting is the knowledge that I'm going to be escaping the one part of my job that I don't enjoy at some point (hopefully) early in the new year, so I just have to survive until that happens. In that "meantime" period, though, I just have to put my head down and plough ahead with the less enjoyable aspects of doing what I do. And that's all the detail I'm going to go into on that for the moment.

Having to "just put up with" things is, I'd wager, a common stressor, and there are quite a few things that I've resigned myself to "just having to put up with". Weight loss continues to be a challenge, of course, and that means that I "just have to put up with" having an often painful and always unsightly hernia making me feel even worse about my overall body image than I do at the best of times. One day, I hope, I will be in a position where I can finally get it sorted, and that day will be a good day. (Well, that day specifically probably won't be, given that I am terrified of surgery, and I believe getting a hernia repaired continues to smart for at least a few days after the procedure. But still.)

Existence is exhausting right now. After this, I'm strongly tempted to just go and curl up in bed for a bit. It's 7.35pm.

Still, I do have some things to look forward to, at least. The aforementioned change in my job role and responsibilities. Christmas with the family. The work Christmas Do. All these things are happening varying degrees of "Soon", so they are things I can aim for and use as milestones as I continue to muddle through the increasingly challenging act of surviving this modern world we live in.

I won't lie, there have been times in my life where it felt very much like I should just Give Up. It hopefully says something vaguely positive about me that, even when faced with such challenges — and I have faced significantly tougher challenges than the tepid mental health I'm experiencing right now, to be sure — I have not, to date, Given Up.

It is hard. I'm acknowledging that it is hard. But these things tend to go in peaks and troughs, don't they? So here's hoping the upcoming holiday period is a build-up to a nice peak from the trough I'm most definitely in the depths of right at this exact moment.


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#oneaday Day 537: Old dogs

Since I've exhausted both Death in Paradise and its spin-off series Beyond Paradise for the moment, I was looking for a new "detective" show to watch. I considered the other Death in Paradise spinoff, Return to Paradise, but thought I fancied something a bit different. And BBC iPlayer was certainly keen to provide suggestions.

I settled on a show called New Tricks, which I hadn't heard of before, but which apparently first aired all the way back in 2003, and concluded its complete run in 2015. I've watched two episodes so far, and while it's a very different sort of show to Death in Paradise and Return to Paradise, I've enjoyed what I've seen so far.

New Tricks (at least initially) follows the semi-disgraced Detective Superintendent Sandra Pullman (Amanda Redman) of the Metropolitan Police who, after a botched hostage rescue in which she shot a dog and the person she was supposed to be rescuing flung himself out of a window, paralysing himself when he landed on a car several storeys below, has been placed in charge of the fictional "Unsolved Crime and Open Case Squad", or UCOS. This is a branch of the Met specifically tasked with re-investigating unsolved "cold cases", with the officer in charge, initially Pullman, charged with wrangling a small group of retired former officers in the hope of their insights being able to put the various cases to bed once and for all.

Conceptually, it's a tad silly, particularly since the initial lineup of old men all initially appear to be somewhat comedic caricatures. There's Brian Lane (Alun Armstrong), who struggles with severe mental health issues and an obsession over the case that ended his career on the force; there's Jack Halford (James Bolam), who talks to his dead wife when no-one else is around, but is otherwise the most well-grounded of the bunch; and there's Gerry Standing (Dennis Waterman, the only constant member of the cast throughout the entire run of the show), who is a bit of a geezer and a "naughty boy", in his words, with a string of failed marriages behind him and a somewhat unorthodox approach to following the rules. The characters are all introduced as each having their own sort of "thing" that defines them, but just the initial two episodes shows that there's clearly potential for some interesting character work going on.

What I've found quite fun about New Tricks so far is that it blends quite a few disparate elements and comes out feeling quite coherent. There's the obvious conflict between Pullman being a modern police officer (by 2003 standards, anyway) — and a woman, at that — and these retired former officers, all of whom are set in their ways to varying degrees. And then there's the friction between the private lives of all the characters and their professional responsibilities. The show is, on the whole, somewhat on the "gritty" side, with the struggles the various characters encounter all being somewhat realistic and relatable rather than the easily resolved fluff or material for comic relief that the Paradise series tended to favour, but there's also plenty of comedy inherent in the whole situation — particularly when Pullman shows herself to be the sort of woman who takes absolutely no shit from anyone.

The fact that the show premiered in 2003 with a 90-minute pilot before going into full production in 2004 is an interesting consideration, too. In some respects, the way the show is presented makes it clear it's from a different time — and while I try not to think of 2004 as being too much "of a different time" to right now, the fact is, it was over 20 years ago — and it's quite pleasant to return to that world. I'm not talking thematically or in terms of societal norms displayed in the show, obviously, but rather literally the way it is presented. It has a theme song, for Heaven's sake, and one sung by one of the cast members (Waterman), at that! What was the last show you watched that had a full-on theme song — and, more to the point, one that had been specifically composed to include the show's title as part of its lyrics?

Anyway, that's about all I want to say about it for the moment. I'm looking forward to getting to know the series a bit better. I'd actually never heard of it before, somehow, but I guess if it ran for twelve seasons, it must have had something to it, no?

Or, to put it another way: it's all right. It's okay!


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#oneaday Day 533: Enshittified parking

The wife and I made the silly error of deciding to go into town today. We thought we'd go get a Currywurst from the German market, plus she wanted to enquire at a music shop about some various bits and pieces.

We were having second thoughts when we got up, because it was dark, miserable and raining outside, but we thought "ah, no, we should go out, it'll do us good to get out of the house".

Reader, it was not good. Apart from the Currywurst, that was good. Although £9 for it was absolute daylight robbery, but I guess that is Just What Things Cost Now. And my wife did at least get the information she wanted from the music shop.

The rest of the trip was a miserable, rain-soaked experience, but probably the most irritating thing about the whole experience was what they've done to WestQuay parking. Instead of taking the tried-and-true approach of giving you a ticket, then you popping said ticket into a machine and paying for how long you spent in the car park, they have decided to make it all "technological", now requiring you to have your number plate scanned by ANPR when you enter, then before you leave, you have to remember to scan a QR code from a poster and pay on a website. Because that is somehow much better.

I will grant you that during busy periods, it could be frustrating to have to queue up for a ticket machine when you wanted to leave. It was frustrating when the ticket machine broke, too, or it ate your ticket, or any other shenanigans that might have occurred. But that's why they had the little man on the end of the "help" button to help you out.

The main issue with the "pay by phone" option they have chosen to go with is that there is no fucking phone signal inside the car park. Nor is there any Wi-Fi. So if you forget to scan one of the posters that is outside on the way back to the car park — or, indeed, if you took a route back to the car park that did not pass by one of these posters — it's an incredible pain in the arse to do something as simple as paying for parking, something which we have all been begrudgingly doing for many years at this point.

Of course, the whole thing has almost certainly been done in the name of collecting data on people who use the car park — they take your number plate when you enter and your name when you pay, so that's fun. They will probably try and spin this as somehow being "more convenient" when in fact it's several orders of magnitude more annoying than the old way of doing things.

But hey. We've made everything else worse with technology. Why should parking be left out of the party?


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#oneaday Day 532: Knackered

I'm absolutely exhausted, and I'm not entirely sure why. I guess this week has been a bit of a busy one with a trip to the office, and just before said trip I was ill, so I think I'm probably still feeling the lingering (after)effects of being ill. Or possibly just still being ill. Either way, it's 8pm and I just want to go to bed, so as soon as we've had some dinner, that's what I'm going to do.

Everything just feels so tiring these days — mentally, more than anything. I am beyond tired of the revolting end-stage capitalism hellscape we live in right now, and long for the AI bubble in particular to pop, if only so people can stop posting screenshots of Google's AI summaries and think that doing this, in any way, proves any sort of point. That and it would be super-cool if all the software everyone uses goes back to being functional and useful rather than having fucking chatbots everywhere.

It's frustrating. I was listening to Cory Doctorow and Ed Zitron talking about the whole "enshittification" thing earlier, and their conclusion is that as individual consumers, there unfortunately isn't a whole lot that we can do to stand up to this nonsense, because it's all happening at a corporate or even governmental level so far beyond the scale of one individual, it's impossible to do anything about. They do, however, note that that doesn't mean there's nothing you can do; they cite the example of attending Town Hall meetings and voicing your concerns about financially and environmentally ruinous data centres being constructed. Even so, though, this seems largely like an American thing — I don't even know if "Town Hall meetings" are a thing here — and, again, it's hard not to feel like a little ant about to be crushed by corporate authoritarianism.

I'd ignore all this shit completely if I could, but it's everywhere — and particularly getting its tendrils into things I actually care about, such as the creative sectors and particularly video games. The new Call of Duty is absolutely riddled with AI art, for example; Ubisoft's latest Anno game has "placeholder" AI art loading screens that definitely aren't just being called placeholders because they got caught; and it seems like every day, a new corporation decides that yes, the absolute best thing to do, despite the general public reacting universally negatively to it every time it happens, is to pivot to an "AI-first" approach, inevitably laying off swathes of the workforce in the process.

I thank my lucky stars I have a stable (I hope) job in the middle of all this, and that AI doesn't interfere with my job any more than having to ignore annoying sparkly buttons in social media management tools and occasionally telling people off for getting ChatGPT to "write" minor things when I'm right here and can do that for them in a matter of seconds without burning a fucking lake down.

God. The "future" sucks. It's a cliché to say at this point, but we really have taken the exact opposite lessons from "cyberpunk" and futuristic dystopia literature than were intended by their authors. We have all the negative aspects of a corporate-dominated end-stage capitalism hellscape, and none of the cool stuff like consumer-grade bionic arms and sex robots. (Well, okay. They're almost certainly working on the sex robot thing, though if it ends up being LLM-powered I'm not sure anyone is going to want to fuck ChatGPT.)

Is it any surprise I'm knackered when just existing through all this nonsense is draining the life force and will to live out of all of us? Probably not. So I'm going to enjoy my KFC and then go to bed.


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#oneaday Day 529: A different hotel

It's time for my monthly visit to the office, though this time things have been a little bit different for various reasons — not least of which is the fact that I'm staying in an unfamiliar hotel, as my usual place was full. This new place seems nice, if charmingly dated, though it is twice the price of my usual place. It's all getting expensed though, so no problem.

I actually have tomorrow off, which will be nice, as it's Andie's birthday and I won't have to brave the M25 in the middle of rush hour.

Today I elected to listen to some "criminal records" on the journey, because I just felt like it for some reason. My cheese of choice was Louise (Redknapp, nee Nurding), a fairly disposable pop singer that I primarily bought two albums for because I fancied her. Also I ended up quite enjoying them both, particularly the second, Woman In Me.

I was interested to discover that Louise had done some more albums after the two I was familiar with — including one from around 2000, and another that is quite recent. I actually really like what I've heard of the 2000 album, Elbow Beach, so far, but I haven't yet listened to the latest. I think that will be the accompaniment to my drive home tomorrow.

I've always had a soft spot for cheesy, disposable pop music, particularly from the mid to late '90s, because it's tuneful, it's catchy, it's uncomplicated and it plays well as background music you don't have to concentrate on too hard. As a teen, I did the majority of my music listening while doing homework in my bedroom, so it's always been a good accompaniment for doing anything that might be a bit tedious or repetitive — hence why I'm enjoying it so much as a soundtrack for driving.

It's also nice to be of an age where you don't have to make any apologies for what you listen to. I'm sure some of you are silently judging me for having owned two Louise albums in the past (my CD collection went to Music Magpie a long time ago though) but I don't care. Silly fluff it may be, but there's a place for silly fluff, particularly in a world that feels increasingly devoid of joy in the current moment.

Anyway, I'm typing this on my phone and getting annoyed at autocorrect, so I'm going to leave that there. I am looking forward to a nice sleep in this comfy bed, and then a leisurely drive back with some cheesy pop blaring tomorrow.

Maybe they'll have released the Epstein files by tomorrow!

#oneaday Day 528: Autumn plague

Andie and I were ill all over the weekend. Nothing serious — and thankfully not COVID, which we were both concerned it might have been — but the kind of cold that is just enough to be moderately debilitating and make you want to stay in bed for a good 75% of the day.

I think we're both over the worst, but we've both been left exceedingly exhausted, as neither of us have slept very well for the past two or three nights. Hopefully tonight will allow me to get a decent rest, as tomorrow I have to do a long drive for the monthly trip into the office — though it should (should!) be moderately less stressful as I'm driving down in the daytime in order to attend in the afternoon, and then I have the following day off work completely.

With all that in mind, a proportion of today has been spent napping, and I suspect an early night will follow. I genuinely couldn't keep my eyes open by the end of the morning's work, and so my lunch break was spent not eating and watching some TV, but just napping. It was nice.

A middle-of-the-day nap is not something I really started doing until a few years ago, and I'm aware that it can mess up your sleep schedule and all that business. But sometimes it's just nice to allow yourself that moment of peace and quiet, to shut down for a bit and attempt to replenish your depleted energy reserves. It doesn't always work, of course — sometimes waking up after a nice nap leaves you just wanting to nap a bit more — but at others, it can be just what you need to refresh yourself a bit. A power nap, or whatever.

For some reason, I find it much easier to fall asleep for a nap in the daytime than I do at night-time. Part of this is the mind's tendency to ruminate on things last thing at night, but I'm not exactly immune to that in the daytime, either. And yet still I find it much easier to nod off in the middle of the day than at night-time.

Perhaps part of this is down to the fact that from university onwards, I was a bit of a night owl. I have particularly fond memories of being up late one evening pootling about on the Internet, receiving a message from a friend of mine who said that they were going to the beach, and heading off for a thoroughly pleasant evening of night-time beach foolishness with said friend and some other mutual acquaintances.

There was also the period around 2010 or so where I was Going Through A Difficult Time, shall we say, and as part of that process I completely ruined my body clock to such a degree that I was going to bed at 5AM and not waking up until 12 hours later. Not my proudest moment, but also I think the support I was receiving at that time is what helped me get through that particularly difficult period, as incompatible as it may have temporarily made me with a "normal" existence.

Maybe I just like sleeping. I do like sleeping. Regardless, I'm going to sleep relatively early this evening in the hope that I feel a bit more human tomorrow, because right now I feel like a sentient pool of sludge.


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#oneaday Day 527: Dangerous toys

Do kids play with toys any more, or are they just plonked in front of a tablet or smartphone as soon as possible, and left to it? I guess in many ways this is the same question as people were probably asking twenty or more years ago, only with "tablet or smartphone" replaced by "TV or computer".

I occasionally think back and have fond memories of playing with toys as a kid. I was fortunate enough to have parents who would buy me cool things for birthdays and Christmas, but who were disciplined enough to not cave in to my every demand at other times, thereby helping me to understand the concepts of Enjoying What You Have and Delayed Gratification. On top of that, I have a brother ten years my senior, which meant that I had a bunch of cool hand-me-downs that I was able to enjoy. They may not have been the latest and greatest, but I still enjoyed playing with them, regardless.

I had all sorts of different things. I've written about Manta Force before, and that was definitely a favourite. I was also very fond of Scalextric and the Hornby train set we had — though both of those were something of a "luxury" option that only got taken out on particularly special occasions and/or when we could convince my Dad to go up into the loft.

There were smaller bits and pieces I have fond memories of, too. We had a big brown plastic box full of Lego, for example, and I used to enjoy fitting together the big "road" pieces from some sort of city set, and attempting to build buildings and cars to go into these scenes. Among this Lego was a beautifully constructed house that (I assume) my brother had built at some point in the dim and distant past, and I could never quite bring myself to take it to pieces — I never quite managed to make something quite as elaborate as that myself, but I enjoyed the attempt, and the tactile nature of just putting the pieces together.

One set of toys that stick in my mind oddly vividly is a collection of sci-fi themed-toys from a firm called Britains. These were distinctly 1950s "retro" in style, but I always thought they were pretty cool as they were modular — in other words, they came apart, and you could slot them together in different ways to make your own custom spaceships and vehicles.

They didn't really do anything by themselves, but for child me, they were a powerful spark for the imagination. Much like I did with Manta Force, I would imagine myself being among the little toy soldiers and their vehicles, playing out a story in my mind, not even thinking about the possibility of getting lead poisoning from these solid-metal models.

I sort of miss that, and I do often find myself wondering if today's kids have any concept of what playing in that way feels like. I, likewise, find myself wondering quite how many adults of my age take a bit of time now and again to disappear into an imaginary world, helped along by a few potentially toxic props. Because, after all, isn't that all people are really doing with a train set or Scalextric track?

Note to my wife: don't worry, I'm not about to start collecting 1980s toys. I absolutely do not have the room to do that. But I am thinking about maybe getting the old Scalextric out again for an evening or two…


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