#oneaday, Day 158: Executive Lounge

Day of firsts today. My first press trip. My first visit to a developer. My first bit of freelancing for a large and well-known video games website. My first trip business class.

Actually, "business class" might be stretching it a bit. Since FlyBe only appear to fly to Scotland in aircraft best described as sheds with wings, "business class" means you get to sit at the front. Oh, and you get a voucher for a free drink and a free snack. However, you don't appear to get another coupon for the return trip.

You do, however, get to use the Executive Lounge, which offers moderately-comfortable seating and free food and drink. It's quite nice. Yes, that's "quite nice". As in, if I'd had to pay for this trip myself, I wouldn't have paid the extra.

Yes, this was also my first fully-expensed trip. Nice.

Anyway, I won't be talking about the thing I went to see today, at least not until I have written the articles I have to write about it. But suffice to say it's very good, the demo doesn't really do it justice and it's a hoot in multiplayer. So you should buy it when it eventually comes out in a couple of weeks.

My flight home has been delayed. This means extra time for free stuff. I'm just starting to feel a bit sleepy now so will probably get a brief bit of kip aboard the plane. Though I'm not counting on it.

#oneaday, Day 157: Sleepytired

I keep promising myself that I'll do these earlier in the day, but it never quite happens, largely due to other things happening during the actual course of the day that distract me from this whole business that at first glance appears to be a bit of fun but I actually appear to be taking rather seriously if you look at the big number after the word "Day" in the title of this post. *gaaaaasp*

Anyway. Here I am. I have to be up in, ooh, about three hours to catch a flight to Scotland. I haven't quite made it to bed yet. Whoops. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day, and exciting too.

I've never done a "press trip" before. I'm not sure if that's the sort of thing I should admit in public. But there you go—I've never had the opportunity before and everyone has to start somewhere, right? It's an exciting prospect, though I have to confess to being a bit nervous too. But I'm sure things will be fine. The PR chap in charge of organising the whole day seems to be a decent bloke (Hi, if you're reading!) and there's a jam-packed schedule of fun and frolics for everyone to enjoy throughout the course of the day. I am greatly looking forward to the experience, and have my notebook and iPhone's Voice Memo recorder function ready to go for use as appropriate.

I'm not going to say too much about what I'm actually doing, 'cause I'm not sure how much I'm supposed to say about it. But suffice to say I will be pimping myself out all over Twitter when the stuff I've written goes live. And then you will read it. Yes you will. And you will like it. Possibly literally, if the site in question enjoys Facebook integration.

For now though, I had better get what little sleep I can manage, and I'll be here tomorrow evening, probably shell-shocked, exhausted and wanting very much to sleep for about a year.

It's nice to have something positive happening. I know it's only one thing on one day, but it's a start. And as I said before, everything has to start somewhere. Let's hope this really is the beginning of the upward slope.

#oneaday, Day 153: Hopeless Romantic

I watched the finale of The Office for the first time in ages tonight. That's the original UK version of The Office, for the curious, meaning that the finale was the second part of the series' Christmas special. I am totally going to spoil the shit out of that episode, so if you're one of the very few people who haven't seen it before and care, you might want to skip this post.

The chemistry between Tim and Dawn is the centrepiece of The Office's narrative. Everyone remembers David Brent and his stupid Comic Relief dance, but it's really a story about two people trying desperately to find one another and always seeming to have something in the way.

The tension between Tim and Dawn is built up throughout the course of the show's two seasons marvellously. The pair of them hang out together a lot, they joke around, they share a mutual love of making office douchebag Gareth's life a misery and it's abundantly clear that both of them are completely smitten with one another. And yet neither of them are able to say the words to make it happen. Dawn because she has a fiancé (yes, that is the correct spelling for the male partner, I checked and everything) who is woefully inappropriate for her. Tim because despite his sweet nature, he lacks in self-confidence thanks to his life situation.

In fact, that's not quite accurate. Throughout the course of the main series, Tim does ask Dawn out twice and she flat out says no. The most heartbreaking of these moments is at the end of the second season where Tim, in the middle of a "talking head" shot, speaking to the "documentary crew" who are supposedly filming the show, tears off his microphone, goes to tell Dawn how he really feels and gets knocked back. The audience don't hear this exchange, we just see it through a window, partially obscured by a blind. It's a genuinely heartbreaking moment to witness.

Throughout the series, Dawn in particular makes a point of touching Tim, whether it's a light brush on the arm, or holding his face tenderly while she gives him a kiss "for Comic Relief". Whatever she says out loud, her actions say something different, much louder.

So when she returns from Florida in the Christmas special, some years after the original two seasons, it's clear that Tim still has feelings for her and wishes things had gone differently. Yet throughout the course of the two finale episodes, it becomes clear that Tim has no idea how to go about dealing with this situation, particularly as the fiancé is still on the scene and never far away from Dawn during their time together.

In what appears to be their final moment together, I really feel for Tim. He is talking to Dawn, clearly struggling for what to say. He does a big and obviously fake cough at one point, and stares after her as she leaves, looking around the office, obviously completely crushed inside but not wanting to show it at all.

And then a little while later, the real ending happens. Dawn, riding in the back seat of a taxi, her fiancé asleep in the front, opens her "Secret Santa" present, which it transpires is an incredibly thoughtful gift from Tim. It moves her to tears.

We cut back to Tim, who is still at the office's Christmas party, obviously trying to have a good time and not really succeeding, when Dawn reappears unexpectedly, grabs him and kisses him. It's such a beautiful moment and a wonderful feeling of "resolution" for the series. A genuinely happy ending.

In the meantime, while all this is happening, we've also seen the comically tragic figure of David Brent growing as a person more in the space of half an hour than he managed in three years thanks to a special someone. By the end of the whole thing, we have felt sympathy for someone who initially seemed to be odious and annoying; and we have felt hope for his redemption.

In short, the whole thing is a fine example of how to do a finale perfectly. Wrap up every little loose end and make it very clear that "This. Is. The. End." And that doesn't have to mean a main character dying, or the world ending, or anything like that. A simple resolution of the threads that have been running throughout the series is all that's needed for a satisfying conclusion.

I love this ending for several reasons. Firstly, I just love a happy ending. Secondly, I feel for Tim, and Dawn for that matter. I've experienced the situation they've been in and know how difficult it can be, and how wonderful those few tiny little gestures can feel. To see two people who obviously deserve to be together finally get together is utterly heartwarming and never fails to bring a smile to my face. And it ends there – we don't need to see "what happens next", whether it works out, any of that – that's the end of their story.

In case you hadn't noticed, I am a sucker for a happy ending. Particularly a romantic happy ending.

There's some games that have done this sort of thing well, too. The Persona series is particularly good at it thanks to the Social Link system that runs through the last two entries in the series. Each Social Link is a complete story in and of itself, with the player's character being someone who is there for someone else during a period of change, growth or hardship. With the games centred on teenage life in Japan, sometimes this is as simple as a character growing up and learning something about themselves. At other times, it is about a burgeoning romance. At others still, it is about someone accepting a fate which is coming for them, like a terminal illness. But by far the most satisfying thing about those games was not necessarily reaching the end (though the endings to both are awesome) but reaching the resolution of these little mini-stories throughout. Seeing other people brought to a state of happiness by the actions (or simple presence) of another is a good feeling, and Persona, like The Office, plays on that pleasant feeling beautifully.

Did I seriously just compare Persona to The Office? That's late-night writing for you. Oh well. There you have it!

#oneaday, Day 149: Games are Cool

After spending the last couple of evenings covering E3's press conferences for Kombo.com and discussing all things gamey over at the Squadron of Shame Squawkbox, I've come to a conclusion.

Games are cool.

Whatever you might think of Kinect, PlayStation Move, the Nintendo 3DS, the million-and-one first-person shooters on display, Assassin's Creed, Child of Eden, Ubisoft's DRM policies or fitness games, one thing is clear.

Games are cool. And they're here to stay.

There's always a lot of cynicism around at E3 time, particularly when new technology is shown off. Especially if said new technology appears to be somewhat gimmicky, or limited in its practical applications. But the flip side of all the more outlandish stuff we've seen so far is that it's a symbol of the diversification of the "gaming" genre. Games are no longer the sole preserve of the spotty, overweight, greasy-haired teenage boy who would rather lock himself in his room than go out and meet people. Though those people still exist. I am one of them. Sometimes, at least.

No, rather, we're getting to the stage now where there's something for everyone. I was interviewed for a position at a major chain of games retailers today, and one of the things I was asked about was whether I'd be comfortable selling something like a Wii game – you know, those interminable collections of minigames. Babysitting Party, that sort of thing. I could answer with some confidence that yes, I would, because I know people that those games would appeal to. They're not "gamers", they're not the sort of people who would be sitting around in their pants watching E3 press conferences (you know who you are) and they probably wouldn't even consider themselves part of the gaming community. But they're still there, and it's great that they are. They might never "graduate" onto more "hardcore" games, but that doesn't matter either. Who says you have to? If you enjoy reading but you find great literature tough going are you forced to "graduate" from pulp novels to Dostoyevsky? No. (Unless you're doing an English degree.) So it should be that if you enjoy Wii Play with friends, you shouldn't be obliged to end up playing Gears of War.

The barrier for entry to the world of games as an entertainment medium is now practically non-existent. Very little in the way of technical knowledge is required to get started, save the ability to plug things into the right holes in your TV. There's no arbitrary rules to follow – Atari users will remember holding down the "Option" key while they turned their system on fondly, for example – and there's no complicated things to learn. The experience is becoming more and more intuitive, and with technologies like Kinect, whatever you may think of its real-world applications, we're getting closer and closer to a world where absolutely everyone, regardless of age, gender and technical ability can enjoy interactive entertainment without feeling stigmatised.

We're not quite there yet. Games still do have a bit of a stigma to shake off. There are subcultures within the larger group who let us all down a bit. But they have just as much right to exist and enjoy what they enjoy as the sort of person who buys Job Island for the Wii.

Gaming is no longer a thing for just one specific group of people to enjoy. It is – or at least should be – something that absolutely everyone can enjoy on their own terms.

Games are cool. And if you close yourself off to that completely like some people choose to, you're denying yourself a whole world of entertainment.

#oneaday, Day 148: We Live In The Future

Screw this motion control crap – I just watched a press conference on the other side of the world while lying in bed with my phone.

That was a tweet from Alex Martin that I received a few minutes ago. And when I think about what I've done today, it's pretty clear that we are most definitely living in the future.

I started my day feeling a bit lonely as I hadn't seen any actual real people for a little while. So I went out to the coffee shop and took my netbook with me. While I was there, I gratuitously solicited questions for my Formspring account (which people were more than happy to furnish me with) and also dropped in on the freshly-created Squadron of Shame Squawkbox.

I ended up sitting in that coffee shop for about four hours, discussing things with people from all over the world – some deep and profound, other things less so. Then it was time to come home, because as part of my job as a News Editor for Kombo.com I was on the "home team" for the E3 coverage.

I'm gutted that I'm not actually at E3. But the experience I've had throughout the course of this evening is the next best thing. I've had IM windows open with people frantically telling me to cover stories. I've had the Squawkbox open to see the Squad's reactions. And I've had Twitter open to see everyone else's reactions. As sad as it sounds, despite sitting on my own in my study in front of the computer, I've not been alone tonight. There have been many people with me, all following the same things, watching the live streams on their computers. It's as if we were all in the audience together, making sly comments to one another.

Whenever Microsoft showed off the ability to watch, say, Netflix movies as an Xbox party, I always thought it seemed a bit pointless. But after sitting watching the E3 conferences with a group of friends who aren't even on the same continent let alone in the same room as me, I think I've reconsidered a little bit.

Obviously there's no substitute for real human interaction. But when the real thing isn't possible, the fact that we live in the future makes a very adequate substitute. So big love, kudos and respect to everyone who's helped make today a huge amount of fun, and I look forward to doing it all again very soon.

I have plenty of thoughts about what's been shown at E3 so far but I've been posting news articles all day and frankly I'm completely burnt out. So I'll save further thoughts until I'm a bit more awake.

Job interview tomorrow. Quite looking forward to it. It may not be the ideal job for my current situation, but it's a foot back on the ladder and has the potential to lead onto better things. So right now I'll take what I can get.

One thing's clear to me right now as it approaches 3AM where I'm sitting: I'm certainly feeling a lot more positive than I did when I woke up this morning. And it's thanks to you, Internet. Big love to you all.

#oneaday, Day 146: Overly Ambitious Interactive Post

This post is interactive. And long. As such, I am using a More tag for the first time ever. To take part in all the fun, read the full post. It's about Persona 4's music, and how I think it can be made relevant to pretty much any situation you might find yourself in in everyday life. I commented on this on Twitter the other day. I thought it might be fun to prove it. Turns out it is fun. And rather time-consuming to prepare. But here it is anyway.

Continue reading "#oneaday, Day 146: Overly Ambitious Interactive Post"

#oneaday, Day 140: Being An Asshole

Every time there is a "new advance" in AI for video games, the first question a lot of people ask is "how human is it?" How does it compare to playing against a real, actual, human person? A gaming-related Turing Test, if you will. And the answer is always "it's not very human". There's one reason for this – computers can't be assholes.

I was playing Blur multiplayer tonight and the one thing that struck me is how much of an asshole players online can be. That's not a criticism, by the way. In fact, the sheer assholeness of a lot of online Blur players makes multiplayer races a pretty thrilling experience. And the AI players in the single-player, while frustrating, aren't assholes. They never drop a mine directly behind a powerup so you grab the powerup and then explode. They never use a Barge to knock you off a cliff. They never swerve into you at the start line and bash you into a wall. They never wait until the home straight to launch a mine right up your arse and sail past in the last half-a-second of the race. They never park sideways across a narrow bit of track just to get in the way.

This sort of creative sadism which online Blur players have developed is what makes the multiplayer so much more appealing than the single-player mode. It's really interesting to see the tactics that people have obviously developed independently without any prompting from the game. The "trapping a powerup" thing, for example. The AI players never do that. It's never suggested you do it in the loading-screen tips. But it's, when you think about it, a smart idea. Everyone is clamouring for powerups throughout every race. So why not make the more desirable ones rather more difficult to get?

This is a different sort of assholeness to the kind of 13-year-olds who scream racist, homophobic abuse down their headsets during games of Modern Warfare 2 (which they shouldn't be playing anyway, but of course, that's another conversation) – this is a stubborn, passionate desire to win at any cost bar cheating, rather than a stubborn, passionate desire to be a dick. And it's fun. You can't help getting involved. Watch other people playing Blur and all you want to do is out-asshole them. Get someone with a carefully-placed mine, or accurately slam a backward-fired Shunt into their face while they're slipstreaming you and it's immensely satisfying.

In fact, Blur as a whole is set up for being an asshole. Take the social gaming features I discussed the other day. What possible reason could there be for posting information about how well you're doing other than to make other people think "I need to take that asshole down a peg or two"?

The reason, of course, that AI in single-player games being a perfectly accurate representation of a human is not necessarily a desirable thing is this: sometimes we like to win. And if you're playing against 19 other assholes, most of whom are more of an asshole than you, very often you don't win. That's all very well, and competitive and so on… but if you're playing by yourself, you want to win, don't you? So that's why I can say with some confidence that I really, really hope AI doesn't ever improve to a level where it's indistinguishable from a human. Because I like to beat it sometimes. And I've played over 60 online races in Blur now… and won two of them!

#oneaday, Day 139: Multimedia Extravaganza

It is indeed a multimedia extravaganza for you today as I share with you both pictures and sound! I even share them both at the same time! That's pretty exciting, isn't it. Admit it. You're a little excited right now at the prospect of pictures and sound at the same time. If you're not, you're either lying, or dead inside.

Err, anyway. Today was another one of those beautiful sunny days so, not having anything better to do and not having anyone to share it with, I decided to head out into the sunshine with my camera and take some pictures around the city. Turns out Southampton is actually not a bad-looking city in the sunshine. The city centre has an awful lot of green space, with about five parks all right next to each other. One of them was hosting some sort of arts festival today – there was live music, craft stalls and somewhere, apparently, workshops on things like drawing and making things.

I always find it interesting how wandering around with a camera makes you notice little things more. A flower with a bee on it, for example. If I didn't have a camera in my hand, I wouldn't have given that a second thought. But because "ooh, that makes a good photo", it gets noticed. It's also immensely annoying if you spot something that will make a good photo and you then miss the opportunity. I didn't have this problem much today. I even managed to get the bee.

I present to you, then, a YouTube video of some pictures from around Southampton. They're a fairly random selection, to be honest, and not necessarily particularly characteristic of the city itself. But they're things that my eye was drawn to today and thus up came the camera, click click, boom. Wait, not "boom". That's something else. The music in the video is the theme from Final Fantasy VII, played by me. Oh yes indeedy.

Yes, as well as taking those pictures, I also recorded a few more pieces for your delectation. Four today, in fact. Here they are. As usual, iPhone users should tap on the titles to hear them, while everyone else can use the Flash player and be smug twats about it.

Alone from Persona 4

Living with Determination from Persona 3

Final Fantasy VII Theme

Eyes on Me from Final Fantasy VIII

That's not quite my normal 500 words, I know. But I gave you multimedia. So I think you can let me off 80 words or so. Except by the time I've finished justifying my lack of words I'll probably have hit 500 words anyway. So I may as well keep going. I hope you all had a pleasant day. I did, although it was rather quiet. Still, it's nice to have quiet days sometimes, isn't it? Means you don't have to fill them with meaningless conversations and attempts to fill spaces that words should go in. Like this one that I'm filling right now. Oh yes. There's 500 words. Time to go.

Hope you enjoy the slideshow and music. Let me know what you think in the comments.

#oneaday, Day 137: Flower Girl

I am almost falling asleep on my keyboard here, so I'll keep this brief to prevent falling asleep with all the letters of the keyboard printed backwards across my face. I can barely keep my eyes open. I'm not sure why I'm so tired, though I have had people over this evening and I spent the first part of my day cleaning up in preparation for said visitors. We had a lovely evening, by the way, thanks for asking.

Earlier in the day I did get a moment to record one more piano piece. I posted it on Tumblr earlier but I'm not sure who got the chance to hear it. A few people did, I guess, and it even got a couple of reblogs. But I thought for those people who don't "do" Tumblr, I'd post it here too.

The song in question is Aerith, or Aeris, or Flower Girl or whatever you want to call it. It's the piece from Final Fantasy VII that makes everyone cry. There are two reasons for this – one, it's a beautiful piece of music, and two, the most memorable point of the game in which this piece of music is heard is where Aerith/s dies. (Oh come ON! Surely everyone who is ever going to play Final Fantasy VII knows that by now.) This scene is widely regarded by many as one of the first times where computer games genuinely started to encourage emotional investment in their narratives – at least on consoles. Developers of adventure games on PC had been trying this for a long time already, but Final Fantasy VII was the first mainstream console game which people admitted crying to.

It's a cliché and a bit of a joke these days, of course, but it was my brother telling me about the sheer emotion in the game that made me originally want to pick up Final Fantasy VII. I'd never touched an RPG prior to that point and had no idea what HP, MP and Limit Breaks were. My life was shortly to change forever.

The piece of music itself, though; it's always held a peculiarly personal meaning to me, and I can't pin down why that is. I think it possibly may be something to with the fact that the older Final Fantasy games allowed you to rename your characters, so in my game, it wasn't "Aerith" dying, it was someone I knew. This made it all the more traumatic.

When I play the piece nowadays, I don't necessarily think of someone dying. But I do always find myself thinking of someone. I always feel that the character of the piece represents gentle, total, unconditional love and/or affection towards someone. So inevitably while playing it I find myself thinking of someone special to me in some way. The exact person who comes to mind has changed many times over the years, but the reason for my thinking of them hasn't. They are important.

iPhone users, click here to hear the track. Everyone else, use the Flash player below.

#oneaday, Day 136: Massive Pianist

Some more music for you today as it's awfully late and I feel like I've been busy all day today, even though the only thing I achieved in the daytime was to buy two shirts which actually look good on me. Oh, and record these two pieces, of course.

A bit of background on these pieces for those who aren't familiar with them. Final Fantasy has been a big part of my life for many years – at least since Final Fantasy VII came out. I believe I've talked about the fond memories I have associated with this game in the past – the long, hot summer days, the thirty-six hour playing stint which culminated with my friend Woody and I suffering strange hallucinations of items that didn't exist in the game – but the thing that's stuck with me longer than the game itself is its music. FFVII was the first time I really noticed game music as a positive thing and, just to make this even more clichéd, it was One Winged Angel which impressed me the most.

After playing FFVII to death, I tracked down the previous games in the series, which I'd never experienced before, not really knowing what an RPG was before that point. I discovered that they, too, had great music, and not only that, there were piano arrangements available.

After a considerable amount of time searching, I managed to track down some dodgy scans of the piano scores for IV, V and VI. Later, I acquired genuine copies of the VII, VIII and IX books. The arrangements of the pieces are gorgeous – proper piano arrangements in a variety of styles rather than simple transcriptions. I've been playing them ever since and everyone seems to think that they're very "me".

Persona is a bit different. I came to Persona with the third game in the series a year or two back thanks to the Squadron of Shame. We even did a podcast about it. What struck nearly all of us about that series was its peculiarly quirky and enormously Japanese soundtrack. I was very interested to discover earlier this year that both Persona 3 and Persona 4 have piano scores available too. Unfortunately, they're not nearly as well-arranged as the Final Fantasy scores, but they certainly sound good enough – for some pieces at least. The J-hip-hop tracks don't sound particularly good on a piano, so there is no way I am ever playing any of them in public.

Much like Final Fantasy, the Persona games hold a very fond place in my heart. Rather than having memories attached to them, though, I found the stories of both games to be very emotionally resonant. I identified a great deal with many of the characters, as Persona deals a lot with friendships, personal identity and figuring out who you are, both in yourself and in relation to other people. While I can't point a fake gun at my head and summon a mythical beast to do my bidding, I do at least understand what some of the characters have been through, and empathise with others. It's rare that a game is written well enough for that to happen, so both games hold a special place in my heart.

Without further ado, then, here's two more pieces for your delectation. Just like last time, iPhone users can click on the titles to hear the tracks.

*pauses* I wish I'd remembered to upload these tracks before I started writing this. *drums fingers* Tra la la la la…

Aha! They're done. Here. *Enjoy* the *sauce*. And yes, I know there's a couple of bum notes. I was in a hurry. 🙂

The Oath from Final Fantasy VIII

Heaven from Persona 4