Yesterday, we covered what I described as "regular-ass crisps". The crisps that you see that are just called "crisps", whether they're by Walkers or a supermarket's own brand. Thin slices of potato, deep fried and seasoned with some sort of flavouring powder.
But the crunchy snack sector is more than just regular-ass crisps, as anyone who had a lunchbox in the 1980s will know. There is a whole world of slightly unusual crisps out there, and today I wanted to celebrate some of my favourites — old and new — with another ranking.
To match yesterday, I will be choosing six slightly unusual types or flavours of crisps or crisp-adjacent snack (i.e. puffed corn snacks count) and ranking them in such a way that absolutely no-one will ever want to argue with me or tell me I'm wrong.
Let's begin!
6. Walkers Worcester Sauce
Now, I know this is technically a regular-ass crisp, but Worcester Sauce is also a "limited edition" flavour — although Walkers have done it so many times at this point that they might as well just make it part of the regular-ass lineup, because it's proven pretty much beyond a doubt at this point that people like it.
As for me, I like it a lot — it probably ranks above prawn cocktail, top of my regular-ass crisps ranking, if we're just talking about regular-ass crisps. But if we're talking about slightly unusual crisps, it ranks low because it's not especially unusual.
Flavour-wise, it does everything I like in a crisp or crisp-adjacent snack, which is to say it has enough sour flavour to make your cheeks turn inside out. If they'd just do Walkers Max, But Worcester Sauce Flavour, I think I'd die happy. From cholesterol-related heart failure.
5. Tangy Toms
I don't even know if you can get these any more (EDIT: you can), but these were a staple of the 1980s school lunchbox. Notable for being extremely cheap compared to regular-ass crisps, they also carried that super-sour artificial flavour that I like so much, but applied to a puffed corn snack rather than a potato chip. This time around, the flavour was supposedly tomato, but I ain't never tasted a tomato that tasted like Tangy Toms.
It was a good day any day these were in the lunchbox. I'm only ranking them so relatively low because the bag size was always a bit stingy, but I guess you get what you pay for when you're buying 10p crisps.
4. Wotsits Giant Prawn Cocktail flavour
Wotsits? Good. Prawn cocktail? Good. For a brief period in the '80s, you could get flavours of Wotsits other than the standard cheese, including beef and prawn cocktail, and they were both great, but got phased out after a while because we can't have nice things permanently, apparently. In more recent years, Wotsits have taken a cue from Cheetos with the Flamin' Hot flavour, which is good, but for their Giant variants (which are literallly just Wotsits, but bigger) they also reintroduced prawn cocktail.
And it's a good prawn cocktail flavour, in that it doesn't taste anything like prawns or Marie Rose sauce, but it is both delicious and dangerously addictive. I can happily demolish a big bag of these, and this is why I am fat. Better that than, like, heroin, though, right?
3. "Party Mix" from convenience stores
I don't know what brand makes this. I have a feeling it might be like a Happy Shopper own brand or something. But you hopefully know what I mean: comes in huge bags, contains a mix of all manner of different shaped potato and corn snacks, all liberally doused in flavouring powder, producing some of the most potent flavour explosions in the crunchy snacking space.
My main point of reference for these is that you can get them in the "ParcMarket" at Center Parcs, which I believe is technically a Co-Op, but I've also seen something similar in our local convenience store, which I believe is Happy Shopper-related. I think they even do a prawn cocktail one, which sounds like an exceedingly dangerous thing to provide me with a huge bag of.
2. Lay's All-dressed
I've had these precisely once in Canada and I've been kind of pining for them ever since. As the name suggests, they are supposedly "all of the flavours" on one crisp, and I'm not sure that quite comes across, but they are delicious.
Given that Lay's are basically the Walkers of North America (they're both owned by Pepsi), I'm surprised this particular flavour never made it over to the UK, because I think it would probably go down a storm here. I'll have to see if I can import some… although part of me is afraid to, just in case the second taste is more disappointing than the first!
1. Takis Fuego
A relatively recent discovery for me thanks to the fact our local convenience store carries them, these have quickly become my favourite crisp-adjacent snack of choice. For the unfamiliar, Takis are like what would happen if you rolled up a Dorito before cooking it. Their shape means they carry a lot of flavour, because there's flavour powder on all the rolled-up layers, and the Fuego flavour in particular is already pretty strong.
With an initial chilli kick, a bit of limey zing and a lingering heat, these probably aren't for everyone. But give me a choice of all the crispy things in the world, and I will probably gravitate towards these more often than anything else.
Conclusions? Crisps!
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