#oneaday Day 1026: Banned Words

Apparently this dates back to 2016, but I've only just come across the list of "banned words and phrases" that were supposedly posted on a whiteboard in the writers' room for American sitcom Workaholics. Here they are, as transcribed on John August's blog:

? More Like ___.
Can You Not?
…I Can Explain!
Let’s Not And Say We Did
I Didn’t Not ___
Va-Jay-Jay
Wait For It…
Just Threw Up In My Mouth.
Really?
Good Talk
And By ___ I Mean ___
Check Please!
Awkward!
Shut The Front Door!
Lady Boner
Rut-Roh!
I Think That Came Out Wrong.
Uh… Define ___.
No? Just Me.
Why Are We Whispering?
That Went Well…
Stay Classy
I’m A Hot Mess!
That’s Not A Thing
It’s Science
Bacon Anything
Cray-Cray
Real Talk
#Nailed It
Random!
Awesome Sauce
Thanks…I Guess
Little Help?
Laughy McLaugherson
Dot Com
I Love Lamp.
Oh Helllll Naw!
#Epic Fail
Did I Just Say That Out Loud?
Food Baby
Douche (Nozzle)
Soooo, That Just Happened
Squad Goals
I Just Peed A Little
Too Soon?
Spoiler Alert
Um… In English Please
Note To Self
Life Hack
Best. ___. Ever. (or Worst. ___. Ever.)
It’s Giving Me All The Feels.
Garbage People
That Happened One Time!
Well Played
I’m Right Here!
Hard Pass
Are You Having A Stroke?
Go Sports!
Zero Fucks Given
We Have Fun
Who Hurt You?
I Absorbed My Twin In The Womb
I’ll Take ___ For $500, Alex.
Thanks Obama
Wait, What?
Shots Fired
Sharkweek
You Assclown
Ridonkulous
Bag Of Dicks
Hey, Don’t Help.
Debbie Downer
I Can’t Unsee That.
That Just Happened.
See What I Did There?
I’ll Show Myself Out.
Here’s The Line, Here’s You.
___ On Steroids/Crack.
Swipe Right.
White People Problems.
I Could Tell You But I’d Have To Kill You.
That’s Why We Can’t Have Nice Things
I Think We’re Done Here

Pretty much all of these are still in regular circulation; not necessarily on television, but just… around. And they're not any less annoying than they were in 2016. In fact, they're possibly even more annoying given that they've been around even longer (some of them date back to the late '90s and Friends) — particularly when they tend to be parroted in places like YouTube comments and livestream chat boxes for when people want to look like they're saying something, but actually have nothing of substance to say whatsoever.

I'd add the following to The List, too:

• Everyone asks "where is _____" but never "how is _____"

• Me when [mundane situation that is an absurd contrast to the drama of the thing referenced]

• My sides

• Nobody:
  Absolutely no-one:
  [thing referenced]: [thing that thing referenced said]

• There is nothing better than ____________.
  Thing that is better than ___________: Am I a joke to you?

• A surprise, to be sure, but a welcome one.

• (make that any Star Wars reference)

• [mundane thing] hits different.

• Just vibin

• Bruh

• I'm howling

• I'm screaming

• I'm dying

• I'm dead

• [anything about feet]

• Half a sentence. Word.

I'm sure there are plenty more but just thinking of these is annoying me, particularly because I know I've been guilty of a fair few of these in the past. We have such a rich, powerful and wonderful language and people just crap out clichés and memes rather than saying anything of substance.

I long to once again live in a world where a GIF is not an acceptable substitute for conversation. I long to live in a world where everyone speaks like Urianger from Final Fantasy XIV.

Forthwith, I needs must avail myself of the considerable entertainment value of this technological marvel that Cid and his gallant engineers doth refer to as "video games". Prithee, abide with me and we shall surely engulf ourselves within a world of purest fantasy.