Over the years, I've noticed one thing about my own anxiety: it's usually about the stupidest things. Here we are right now in the middle of a genuine crisis — a global pandemic — and I don't really feel anything about it. Sure, it'd suck to actually get struck down with Corona-chan, but I'm not losing any sleep over it; with my lifestyle, I think it's fairly unlikely at this point, unless we're unfortunate down at Tesco Express.
I wonder why this is? Anxiety is a bitch at the most inconvenient of times, and yet the one time you'd think I would/should be anxious… nothing. This has been a bit of a pattern for me; if something genuinely bad is happening, I'm usually the one who will want people to calm down a bit and look at things rationally. Sometimes I even find myself getting frustrated at people getting overly hysterical… much as I'm getting pretty fed up with all the "panic buying" going on right now. Couldn't get a loaf of sliced bread earlier, and the running joke that is toilet roll remains nowhere to be seen.
I think my frustration stems from the fact that I can see how people are being stupid in situations like this. In the case of the bread in particular, there's absolutely no point in stocking up on bread because it goes off. Toilet roll… maybe there's a case for stockpiling, but it's simply inconsiderate to do so. Other things… buy what you need, leave what you don't for someone else.
I wonder how long this is all going to last… and if it does look like lasting a while (which it might… I've heard the figure "12 weeks" going around today) if people will chill the fuck out a bit before it's all over. I certainly hope so. Because this eerie calm in my heart probably won't last forever!
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