It's back to the day job tomorrow. Boo! Illness aside, I've had a nice week off, and in the end I got everything on my "definitely want to do" list done, and actually most of the things in my "ideally want to accomplish" list, too. So that's cool.
Today actually ended up being one of my most productive days. I was mostly free of distractions, so I managed to get five episodes of Warriors Wednesday recorded, along with the voiceover and footage I need to put out a Fairune video, hopefully tomorrow evening.
The amount of enjoyment I've had from a week where I was pretty much completely free to just be creative cannot be overestimated. It drives home the ever-present rift between things we want to do and that we enjoy doing… and the things we have to do.
I attended the first session of a 12-week course on dealing with worry and anxiety on Saturday. I was both slightly reassured and disappointed by the number of people who cited work-related issues as leading causes of anxiety for them. Even when they know they have what is technically a "good" job, like I do.
It's enough to make you wonder why we put ourselves through this. Well, the answer is "because we don't really have an option", of course. We don't work, we don't get paid. We don't get paid, we can't buy food, pay for our accommodation, and we certainly don't have anything left over to be able to enjoy the things we love.
It just sucks that seemingly for so many people, "work" means "something I really don't want to do, and that I'm just doing for the money". I feel like it doubly sucks for me, having had a job I actually wanted to do in the past, and having had it snatched away from me without warning.
I don't hold many grudges, but five years later, I'm still upset about that, and the people responsible for making that happen will forever remain on my Shit List.
At least I know I'm not the only one feeling dissatisfied with day-to-day life, I guess. That's small comfort, though. And thus here I am at 12:45am, putting off going to bed because I don't want to get up in the morning and have to go to work.
As much as I wish I could avoid it forever, though, I know the longer I put it off the worse I'll feel in the morning. So I guess it's time to go!
I hope you had a great weekend and that Monday morning isn't too bad to you!
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