1029: Chapter 12

Laura went home shortly before it got dark. I offered her the chance to stay, but she got a little flustered and made her excuses. I felt suitably embarrassed for having even made the suggestion. All this stuff wasn't making it any easier for me to work out my feelings towards her, but I did know one thing: I was very grateful for her support in all this.

I slumped back down on the sofa and turned on the TV for the first time in ages. I wasn't sure what was on, but I just felt the need for some background noise of some description. It was starting to feel a bit "too quiet" again, so I broke the silence with what looked like some sort of vapid reality TV nonsense. I had no idea — I hadn't kept up to date with popular culture at all, so I really didn't know what it was that everyone was watching these days. It didn't appear to have improved much since the last time I had turned the television on. Some floppy-haired guy with rippling abdominal muscles looked like he was eating insects while everyone else alternated between laughing hysterically and looking like they were about to vomit.

I leaned back against the arm of the sofa and just stared at the blaring nonsense for a few minutes. I didn't find myself drawn in by the programme at all — it was just noise, a distraction. I guess that was sort of the point. No-one in their right mind would watch something like this deliberately, would they?

I closed my eyes and let the giggling and screaming from the TV wash over me. For once, it felt like I was surrounded by people. Obnoxious, loathsome, awful people, of course, but people nonetheless. It was a nice change to normal. Even at college, I felt like I was in my own little bubble at times, and Laura was the only one who could ever break through and get in. I didn't mind too much; more often than not, I found other people to be irritating and frustrating, but there were times when I felt lonely.

I thought back to what Laura had said to me, that she, too, was alone. It occurred to me that I never saw her hanging around with anyone else. Did she even have any other friends? She certainly always seemed to be available whenever I needed her.

I started to feel a little bad about the way I'd been treating her. I'd been selfishly concentrating on my own problems and not considering the way she might be feeling. She didn't seem to mind, but perhaps it really was frustrating her, and she just found it difficult to express. That would certainly account for the mood swings she seemed to have been having recently. Perhaps I should talk to her about it. She seemed to want to talk about it — otherwise she wouldn't have brought it up, I thought.

*

The rest of the evening passed uneventfully. I stared at the TV for a few hours in the end — the awful celebrity "reality" show was eventually replaced by a rerun of a TV comedy from a few years back that I had always enjoyed, so I appreciated the chance to relive some fond memories and laugh for what felt like the first time in forever.

I started to feel tired around eleven o'clock or so, just as some "update" show for the awful celebrity thing was coming on, so I flicked off the TV and trudged up the stairs to bed. I undressed and lay down under the covers. I was asleep within minutes.

I wasn't surprised to awaken what felt like a few minutes later when, sure enough, the time on the clock radio read 2:30. I wearily rubbed my eyes and sat up on the side of my bed. Was I going to do this again? It was starting to feel like a routine. The last few times I'd paid her a visit, Alice hadn't been surprised to see me. Did she appreciate it? Or did it hurt?

I asked myself the same question. The first time I saw her, I was shocked and upset. I didn't know what to do with the knowledge that apparently somewhere, somehow, she was still alive. But now I found myself looking forward to seeing her again, even though my visits only seemed to be able to last for a few minutes. I appreciated the chance to see her again, and the pain I felt when we were pulled apart had lessened somewhat — I knew that I'd be able to see her again the next night, so it wasn't so bad. Perhaps she felt the same way. She apparently had the same ability to… "cross over" and see me, as she'd turned up in here, that one time — but if that was the case, why hadn't she done it more often?

I shook off the rogue thoughts. They probably weren't important right now. I stood up, pulled on my discarded trousers and a wrinkled T-shirt and headed for her room. I opened the door and walked in. She flicked the light on as soon as I entered.

"Hello," she said.

"Hello," I said.

"I thought you'd be back," she said.

"Yeah," I said.

She patted an area of the covers on the side of the bed, indicating I should sit down. I did so.

"Alice," I said. "I'm sorry to just jump into this, but going by the last few times we might not have long to talk about it. Can you explain what you meant by… being all alone?"

She sighed.

"Fine," she said. "You're doubting me, aren't you? It's okay. It's a pretty weird story. And I'm not sure I can answer your question, really, to be honest."

"It's okay," I said. "Just tell me what you know."

"Well," she began. "It was, hmm, let me think… probably two or three months ago now."

"What?" I interjected. "But that… No, never mind. Sorry, carry on."

"Yeah," she said, giving me a strange look. "About two or three months ago, I was in bed. You and Mum and Dad were out somewhere — they were picking you up from some thing you'd been doing — and told me not to wait up for you all. So I'd gone to bed. I was pretty tired, so I fell asleep pretty quickly."

This was starting to sound a little too familiar, but I kept my mouth shut for now.

"I woke up in the middle of the night," she continued. "My phone was ringing. It was about 2:30 in the morning — I remember because I saw it on the clock on my phone when I picked it up. I was a bit scared. No-one ever phoned me, and I'd only ever heard about bad things happening from phone calls that happened in the middle of the night. I didn't want to answer it. I knew it would be bad news."

"Okay," I said, stopping her. "Just hold up there. What you're describing is exactly what happened to me, only I was the one who was waiting back home for Mum and Dad to bring you back. And then…"

The lights went out, and I was left on my own again.

"Fuck!" I shouted at the empty room. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"

*

The next morning, I awoke groggily. It was the weekend, so my alarm didn't go off. I sat up in bed, my joints aching like I'd been running a marathon. The digits on the clock radio indicated that it was after eleven in the morning. It had been a while since I'd had a decent lie-in, and it felt good. I wanted to lie back down and sleep through most of Saturday, but knew that if I shut my eyes again that's exactly what I would do, and that wouldn't really help anyone.

I got up and walked downstairs to prepare some breakfast. I used the last of the milk in the fridge on a cup of strong coffee to try and make myself feel more alert, and decided that today might be a good day to go shopping. I considered calling Laura and asking her to give me a lift, but eventually decided against it. The fresh air and the walk would probably do me good.

After breakfast, I washed my face, cleaned my teeth and put on some clean clothes. Then I checked my pockets several times to ensure I had my phone, wallet and keys on me, and left the house. It was a brisk, breezy day outside, but the crisp air felt good against my face. I breathed in deeply. The smell of the outdoors felt much better than the stagnant, dusty air inside my house, so I found myself thinking that I should probably try and get out a bit more.

I walked the familiar route to the supermarket. The roads were busy — it was a Saturday, after all — and traffic was backed all the way up the street. I never understood why everyone wanted to do their shopping on a Saturday, not when most of the supermarkets around here were open twenty-four hours, but then I realised that I was part of that group of people also. I smiled wryly to myself.

Eventually, I came into the supermarket car park, which was chock full of cars. There wasn't a single space to be seen, so people were just abandoning their vehicles wherever they could find a space — in the "pick-up" area, on the double yellow lines outside the store entrance, and one motorcyclist had even parked his bike in one of the trolley bays.

I grit my teeth. I wasn't a fan of crowds at the best of times, but I needed to pick up a few things. I resolved to try and get in and out as soon as possible. I'd been here by myself enough times and often enough to know exactly where everything I needed was, so I should be able to manage without too much difficulty.

With a feeling of slight anxiety at the sight of all the people bustling around inside the store, I stepped through the front doors, and headed straight for the refrigerated sections to grab some milk.

Just as I reached for the milk, my nose was assailed by an awful stench. It made me gag and retch; I staggered away in a random direction, trying to get away from it. My eyes were blurred with tears from the terrible smell. I closed them and leaned on the counter I knew was at the back of the store to try and steady myself, and it was around then that I realised something was definitely amiss, stench aside.

I opened my eyes and stood up unsteadily. With a sinking feeling, I looked around the deserted supermarket and noted that all of the lights had gone off. The only light coming in was through the skylights in the ceiling, and the awful smell was presumably coming from the rotting food in the long-abandoned refrigerators, which were no longer working.

My pulse and breathing quickened, and I felt a sudden urge to get out of there as soon as possible. I took off at a run towards the exit and ran straight into the doors.

Of course. They were automatic, electrically-powered doors, and if there was nothing to power them, they wouldn't open.

I tried frantically to pry them open with my fingers, but it wasn't happening. There was only one real option here — to break my way out. That was the only thing I could do.

Fear got the better of me instead. I sat down in the corner by the door and just hid my face in my hands. My body shivered and my heart raced.

Why was this happening to me? And what was the connection with that time?