The Black Dog of depression has been rearing its ugly head a bit again recently for various reasons, and I'm sick of it. While there's not necessarily much I can do about it showing up and being a pain in the arse, I can at least try and work on some things to make me feel a bit better about myself.
For starters, getting upset at one's own reflection isn't particularly great news, and it's something that I can at least attempt to do something about. I have been fitness-ing off and on for some time now, but I figure it's Time To Get Serious. That means I'm going to hit the gym every morning before I start my working day rather than leaving it until last thing in the evening when it's easy to go "nah, fuck it". (Of course, it's easy to stay in bed and say "nah, fuck it" also, but I'm going to attempt to get out of this habit before it starts.) I won't necessarily be doing everything every day, but I'm going to attempt to get at least an hour of cardio stuff in per day at the very least. This will likely mostly be done on the exercise bikes, where I can sit back and play Final Fantasy VI on my fancy-pants tablet while I'm sweating. At other times, I'll use the crosstrainers and whack on a podcast — the Exploding Barrel Podcast from my good buddies Mike and AJ Minotti is always a favourite — or some inspirational music of some description.
As motivation and progress tracking, I'm going to be using Fitocracy, which I've posted about before here. I also considered resurrecting my Jedi Health Kick Tumblr from a while back, but given that Fitocracy provides the ability to post lengthy, blog-like status updates and has its own built-in community features, I'm going to stick with that. As well as tracking my workouts, I'm going to write a short post each day detailing how it went, how I'm feeling and what I'm aiming for. I'm also going to use Fitocracy's excellent Quests feature to take on some challenges that I might not have otherwise thought of — this will help prevent complacency if I'm making a "game" out of it all.
I'd also like to eat better. I think I eat when I get depressed, and I get depressed a fair bit, which doesn't help matters. I'd rather kick that particular habit in the face if possible — or at the very least change it so I munch on, say, carrot sticks instead of ALL THE BISCUITS, but that's the sort of thing that will take plenty of teeth-clenching willpower to resolve. I have faith in my own ability to do this, however — if there's one thing I'm good at it's clenching my teeth and stubbornly resisting things. Sainsbury's cream cakes are my most formidable adversary to date, however, so it remains to be seen whether I'll be able to defeat them using the power of my clenched teeth (and/or buttocks) alone.
So that's the plan. We'll see how long I'm able to stick with it. I'm saying this publicly so I have a bit more pressure to follow through on it. If anyone would care to join me and work out alongside me or just offer some words of encouragement, come cheer me on over on Fitocracy — it's free to sign up and there's a nifty companion iPhone app too.
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As always, I like your style Pete…. the no nonsense approach definitely works for me and cheesy as it sounds, I kinda feel like your words resonate – this week sees the start of my 'Imma be a superheroawesomegirl' extravaganza so dont ever feel like your alone!
Go go go Ms Vee! Come be superheroawesomegirl with me on Fitocracy. It's super-fun. Also, where the damn diddly hell have you been? 🙂
I'm been training to be a ninja… hand well played I reckon 😉
In all seriousness, I've been down into the Slough of Despond and am now trying to claw my way back again 🙂 xx
Sorry to hear that, lovely. We should catch up sometime. Lots to talk about on both sides, I'm sure. Drop me an email or a Googlychat sometime and we can have a good old chinwag.
swoopurb!
Try one thing at a time… So switch from ALL THE BISCUITS to half the biscuits, or from whole milk to semi skimmed. Give yourself time to get used to this, make it a habit, then change the next thing. Makes it a bit less painful than giving up all the things immediately, doing great for a month and then losing the will to be chocolate-free and eating Cadbury's annual output in the space of two hours.
(May be speaking from experience)
Christmas didn't help. We got given a cupboard full (literally) of crap food which we STILL haven't got all the way through. If it's not there, it can't be temptation. Unfortunately, it is there.
I don't eat horrendously badly, but I tend to graze and snack on things if I'm bored, lonely, depressed or whatever. I need to break that habit — or at least snack on things that are a bit better for me.
You and A.J. have really inspired me to get on the move. If I start the morning with some good cardio, the rest of my day tends to go better. It's just finding the will power to get my happy butt up at five in the morning to get it done.
So I'm going to knuckle down, take your advice (and your Fitocracy support group invite) and get healthy!
Woo! Looking forward to working out alongside you. Sort of. Come check in on the Squadron of Shame group over on Fitocracy — hopefully that place will be a-buzzin' before long 🙂
Good on you for starting a regime! I'm trying to get into the habit of regular exercise, but I absolutely hate the idea of going to the gym and -gasp- having people see me, so I'm actually contemplating buying a low-end exercise bike for the house. Would you mind sharing how you find it? I've never actually used one myself. I do admittedly like the idea of exercising in a way that allows me to play games at the same time… I'm sure I'd be much more motivated to keep doing it if I could >_>
Exercise bike can be hard work because, like many other machines, it's easy to misjudge your pace and tire yourself out after a few minutes. I've found that sitting playing the game while I ride helps me to pace myself a bit better — I don't necessarily go that fast and/or far, but I can keep going for a long time.
Re: the gym thing, it's a common phobia. A lot of people don't like the idea of going to the gym because other people will see them. I've always taken the opinion that if you're at the gym, at least you're making an effort to better yourself, so no-one has any right whatsoever to look at you and judge you, whatever you might look like or however much you might be gasping for breath. 🙂 I've got to the stage now where I can just tune out the other people around me and concentrate on what I'm doing. (Podcasts and games help a lot with this!)
Working out at home is cool, particularly if you can do something you enjoy (like gaming) while doing so, but be careful because it's easy to be tempted by food, TV, comfy couch, bed… anything but that bike/rower/whatever. It's about getting into a routine, more than anything, and that comes with time… and a healthy dose of stubborn bloody-mindedness.