#oneaday, Day 267: Go Outside!

It's funny. I've never particularly thought of myself as an outdoorsman, despite growing up in the country and despite semi-regular trips from primary school and Cub Scouts (yeah, deal with it) to various campsites. This is largely to do with being a nerd, of course, because everyone knows that nerds, like vampires, tend to shun sunlight in favour of the glow of a TV or computer screen. Or sometimes candle-light and books. But books don't glow. Unless they're on an iPad.

Anyway,  the point I was getting at is that I appear to have spent most of the last couple of days outside. This is partly due to the Couch-to-5K running programme I've been following which, by its very nature, requires one to go outside to do said running. Today, though, I decided to just go out for a walk. Of course, I had the flimsy justification of putting various GPS trackers on to try and measure how far I went yesterday (3.75 miles, as it happens) but mostly it was a desire to actually go out again. The place I went yesterday—a nearby wood—is a place that's nice and quiet and peaceful and has literally nothing surrounding it on Google Maps. Today, rather than running there (or run-walk-run-walk-ing there, to be more accurate) I just walked and took my time. I had some awesome tunes on for the duration and just enjoyed being out, feeling the breeze on me (until it got a bit cold later) and the feeling of being surrounded by nature. Evidently I have some sort of latent hippie/wood elf tendencies.

Of course, any kind of sudden change in one's routine is normally down to external stimuli, and of course there's one in this case. A few online chats with a very nice person (who may be reading this right now… hello! *waves*) inspired me to go out and spend some time in all this countryside I'm surrounded with. This countryside I grew up in, and pretty much took for granted, and then became a teenager and thought was boring. So I have. So, special person, thank you for being the one to give me a nudge in the correct direction. It just takes the right person to say the right thing and… well, you find yourself in the middle of the woods listening to Shpongle.

For those who are keeping up, this person is also the person who bullied me (not very hard) into picking up a copy of Firefly and then sat until the early hours with me yesterday watching it "with" me. Which was nice. But also made me forget to write my blog. Although that was mostly my own fault for not writing it earlier and then engaging in a conversation I knew would continue for quite a long time.

Anyway. Yes. Going outside is good. So do it. Especially if you've just finished watching that DVD box set or beaten that game you were playing. Don't pick up another one (yet)—open that door and go and enjoy the lovely mild Autumn sunshine and the crispy brown leaves under your feet. Unless you live in the city, in which case you can go out and enjoy the howling Autumn Peugeot chavmobiles screaming past at all hours.

I have been outside most of today, so I now have no guilt at settling down under a warm duvet with a mug of hot chocolate and a Firefly box set. Can you say the same? Can you?

Oh, here's some photos. These were taken using the iPhone 4's fancy-pants HDR setting and haven't had any processing done to them. Enjoy! I'm off to watch aforementioned Firefly.

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#oneaday, Day 190: The Highway Code Errata

It has come to our attention that there are a number of sections of The Highway Code which state rules incorrectly. This document is designed to correct these mistakes.

Rules for Pedestrians

  • ITEM 1 – "Footways or footpaths (including any path along the side of a road) should be used if provided." should read "Footways or footpaths are optional for use when intoxicated."
  • ITEM 4 – "Young children should not be out alone on the footway, footpath or road." should have "unless you can't be bothered to look after them yourself" added.
  • ITEM 13 – "Routes shared with cyclists". This rule is obsolete. Pedestrians may go wherever they want regardless of anyone else.

Rules for Cyclists

  • ITEM 69 – "You MUST obey all traffic signs and traffic light signals" should read "You MUST NOT obey all traffic signs and traffic light signals".
  • ITEM 71 – "You MUST NOT cross the stop line when the traffic lights are red" should read "You MUST cross the stop line when the traffic lights are red, particularly if there are pedestrians on a crossing."

Rules for Motorcyclists

  • ITEM 88 – "You should be aware of what is behind and to the sides before manoeuvring" should read "Manoeuvring may be done at any time regardless of your surroundings. THINK BIKE, is what everyone else should be thinking."

Rules for Drivers and Motorcyclists

  • ITEM 91 – "the most effective ways to counter sleepiness are to drink, for example, two cups of caffeinated coffee and to take a short nap (up to 15 minutes)" should be in bold, red print.
  • ITEM 97 – "[Before setting off you should ensure that] you have switched off your mobile phone" should read "your mobile phone is within moderately-easy reach and is not attached to a hands-free kit, particularly if driving a car of German origin."
  • ADDENDUM – "Drivers of cars of German origin have a special function, normally occupied by the hazard warning lights. Simply activate these lights to be legally permitted to park anywhere you like, however inconvenient it may be to other users and whether or not it is otherwise legal to do so."

Traffic Signs

  • "No Overtaking" should read "No Overtaking unless you think you can take them".
  • "Maximum speed" should read "Minimum speed"
  • "No entry for vehicular traffic" should read "No entry for vehicular traffic, except you, because you're special."
  • "One-way traffic" should read "One-way traffic recommended, but optional".
  • "No waiting" and "No stopping" should both have "unless you are driving a Mercedes, BMW or Audi and put on your hazard lights" added.
  • "Loose chippings" should read "Wheelspin zone".
  • "STOP" should read "GO".
  • "GO" should read "STOP".
  • "No vehicles carrying explosives" should read "WTF are you, a terrorist?"
  • "No U-turns" should read "U-turns permitted for German cars only".
  • "Steep hill downwards" should read "Step on it!"
  • "Steep hill upwards" should read "Step on it!"
  • "Cattle", "Wild animals" and "Wild horses or ponies" should all read "OMG AMINALS".
  • "Queues likely" should read "Queues guaranteed".
  • "Humps for 1 mile" should read "Innuendo ahead".
  • "Hump bridge" should read "Dogging hotspot ahead".
  • "Risk of ice" should read "You work it out".

Thank you for your understanding. An updated edition of the Code will be printed and released shortly.