2028: Obstacle Course

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In response to The Daily Post's writing prompt: "Obstacle Course."

In yesterday's look at the sad archive that Plinky.com has become, I stumbled across the fact that WordPress.com now has a "Daily Post" writing prompt. I'm not hugely involved with the overall WordPress community, really, but thought this might be an interesting means of finding some new people — or at the very least, providing myself with some inspiration on what to write day in, day out.

This is today's prompt, then:

Think about what you wanted to accomplish last week. Did you? What are the things that hold you back from doing everything you’d like to do?

Well, this is going to be a fairly bleak post as I'm in a fairly bleak mood today, but as regular readers will know, sometimes the act of getting those thoughts and feelings out onto the page can prove to be a form of "therapy" in their own right. So we'll see. Expect honesty.

No, I did not accomplish what I wanted to accomplish last week, though this is partly due to the fact that I didn't really have anything I wanted to accomplish last week. The trouble I have at the moment is that I'm just sort of "drifting" with occasional freelance work and nothing concrete to occupy my time and thoughts day after day.

In some ways, this is pleasant. Not having any "commitments" as such means that I can essentially do what I want to do, though it's not long before anxieties over things like money start creeping in and making me feel that I should be doing "more". More what, I'm not exactly sure, to be honest; the feeling that overtakes me at these times is always simply "you should be doing more" without any specifics attached.

Let's ponder the things I did achieve, at least: since the Slimming World job I mentioned a few posts back isn't going to happen for the moment (I need to be a bit closer to my target before I'll be considered, which is fair enough) I applied to another job. Just a part-time job in retail, so nothing particularly exciting, special or indeed well-paid, but if I'm successful it will be something that provides at least a bit of reasonably predictable income each month that I can use to support the sporadic freelancing I've been doing. From there I can decide if I want to pursue that in more depth and attempt to make a career out of it — probably not, but we'll see — or if I simply want to keep it as one of several things I have on the go at once. I'm inclined to think that the way I can be "happiest" (for want of a better term) is to have a number of different things to do rather than getting bored and frustrated with just one thing — or, worse, getting bored and frustrated with nothing.

One of the awkward things, though, is the fact that I've picked up some piano pupils and have been enjoying teaching them so far — and both they and their parents seem to like me, too. This in itself isn't awkward, of course, but with the current timing of the lessons I have with them, it would make a "regular" job on "normal" hours a little tricky on the day of the week when I teach them. This is proving to be a bit of a mental block for me, to be honest; the prospect of either having to tell a prospective employer that I can't work on a specific day after a specific time is anxiety-inducing, and at the other end of the spectrum, the prospect of having to juggle around commitments that I've already made is also anxiety-inducing. Still, it's a bridge I will no doubt cross if I ever reach it.

Other achievements? Well, I lost another pound. Slow and steady wins the race, as they say; some people in our Slimming World group aren't particularly satisfied if they "only" lose a pound in a week, but me? Having not been able to lose any weight for years and now consistently losing at least one pound every week, I'm happy with that. It's one of the very few things I feel that is going right at the moment, so I cling onto these small victories for all they're worth.

To answer the second part of the question, then, I think it's probably pretty clear from what I've already written above that the thing holding me back the most from achieving things is anxiety. I had been taking anti-anxiety meds for a little while, though I don't feel like they'd been having much effect. On reflection, though, now I've run out, it's quite possible that the way I'm feeling today is proof that they had been doing at least something; if not alleviating the anxiety altogether, then at least keeping it at bay somewhat. I'm going to attempt to make a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning and refresh my supply to see if that helps. I would look into proper therapy, too, but while I don't have a stable income the prospect of having to pay up for that, ironically, fills me with further anxiety.

So all in all, then, things are a bit fucked at the moment. My "obstacle course" doesn't feel like it's altogether fair; it feels like I'm surrounded on all sides by impassable objects, and the only way past them is to do something difficult, unpleasant or outright painful. It's a rubbish feeling and I sincerely hope it passes soon.

For now, though, it's an evening of stewing in my own bleakness, I guess; it's not the first time and it won't be the last. Thanks, as always, for giving ear to my problems, and I hope that one day — preferably soon — I have something a bit more positive to share with you all.

2027: Questions, Questions, Questions

I like questions. They're a good starting point for conversations, and they're a great writing prompt. For this reason, I'm very fond of social sites like Retrospring and Ask.FM, though it can sometimes be a challenge to get people to actually ask interesting questions.

Today, then, inspired by the fact I've been playing with Retrospring a bit recently — ask me anything here (caution: Umaru boobs) — I thought I'd work through a few questions as writing prompts. Rather than just being lazy and using my Retrospring answers, though — which is tempting, believe me — I thought I'd make use of the dearly-departed Plinky.com, and use some of its writing prompts that it still has available. I'm not going to spend more than a paragraph on each, mind.

All right! Let's begin.

Was there a toy or thing you always wanted as a child, during the holidays or on your birthday, but never received? Tell us about it.

Lots of things, I'm sure! Every child wants absolutely everything because they have no concept whatsoever of what money is or how it works. (I remember when I was young and my mother remarked that they were a bit low on money that month, and in my primary school wisdom I suggested they just "go to the bank and get some more") Specifics, though? Hmm. I quite wanted Red Venom, the evil counterpart to the awesome Manta Force toy that I had, but never got one. I also wanted a Mega Drive to go along with my Super NES, but never got one. I'll probably live.

Write about a noise — or even a silence — that won’t go away. (We’ll let you interpret this in different ways…)

Thanks, mysterious question master. Well, there are indeed lots of ways this can be interpreted. It could be interpreted as something simple like tinnitus — I like to listen to music loud in the car and on headphones, so occasionally give myself mild bouts of this — or it could be used to describe an "earworm" of a piece of music that just won't go away. In the latter case, I think the opening theme to Monster Musume definitely counts as this, particularly the bit where Centorea is doing her "whooshwhooshwhooshwhooshwhoosh" bit with her sword.

What’s your learning style? Do you prefer learning in a group and in an interactive setting? Or one-on-one? Do you retain information best through lectures, or visuals, or simply by reading books?

Whoa whoa whoa there, sparky, one question at a time. My learning style… uh… I'm not really sure, actually. Depends somewhat on my mood, but I'm quite good at learning by myself using books. I like to have practical examples of the things that I'm learning and ways I can practice those skills. If I'm learning under someone, I generally prefer one-on-one as there's less scope for embarrassment if you can't do something while everyone else can. I loathe passive lectures, though; they put me to sleep, particularly if the subject matter isn't something I'm particularly interested in in the first place.

You have 15 minutes to address the whole world live (on television or radio — choose your format). What would you say?

Given my self-imposed "one paragraph" rule, I'll paraphrase: I'd tell people that they need to be better to one another, and that they need to stop judging each other on stupid things, be it skin colour, race, gender, sexuality or even tastes in entertainment. Everyone is different, and that's something that should be celebrated, but we should also enjoy it when we manage to find people on the same wavelength as us. Worry less about what's "problematic" and "troubling", and focus more on the positives. Stop listening to blowhards like Anita Sarkeesian, Jonathan McIntosh and Michael Pachter. (One of these things is not like the others.) Make up your own mind about how you feel, and don't berate other people if they feel differently. (Unless, of course, they're actually hurting someone, in which case you can give them a swift kick in the genitals.) Above all, don't be a massive cunt.

Do you play in your daily life? What says “playtime” to you?

I'm not in full-time work at the moment, so all day is technically "playtime". That's not true at all, of course; I spend a considerable proportion of the days when I'm not working worrying about the fact I'm not working and that I'm not earning any money, then attempting to be proactive about getting some work to do. Playtime, though, is extremely important, as it helps you to unwind and switch off from the stresses of the day. Everyone should play. Exactly what "play" means is different for everyone, but you should find something that (preferably) has nothing to do with your job, and indulge in it until you feel happy and content.

Are you good at what you do? What would you like to be better at?

It's difficult to say "what I do" these days. I've been through so many jobs and things that I'm really not sure what my "identity" in this regard is any more. The one real constant has been writing, though, and I think I'm quite good at that. I'd like to be better at music and computery things on the technical side (both hardware and software); these are both things I was really good at when I was a youngster, but my knowledge hasn't really "moved with the times" over the years, unfortunately. I'll happily throw myself into attempting to learn things, but some stuff just doesn't stick; I can still program complicated things in Atari BASIC, for example, but I can never remember how fucking JavaScript works.

Share the story of a time you felt unsafe.

I'm not good with any situation where I worry I might hurt myself, so I try and avoid them whenever possible. One example that springs to mind is a time some university friends and I went up to Sheffield to visit a friend who had moved there. During our stay, we went walking in the impressive hills nearby, and several of our number decided they wanted to climb a rock face, and did so without too much difficulty. I got a few inches off the ground, became utterly terrified and refused to go any further. I'm not proud of that, really, but I'm also glad I didn't go through with it, as the shoes I was wearing really weren't suitable for that sort of thing, and I probably would have hurt myself.

Think about something that drives you crazy. Now, think about something that makes you happy. Does it change your perspective on the former?

Nope, unfortunately, because the thing that drives me crazy is the way people act towards the thing that makes me happy. Get out of that little paradox, if you will.

(Last one for now.)

What’s the thing you’re most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it?

I'm scared of all sorts of things — many of which would appear to be stupid to the average observer, but such is the nature of anxiety-related issues. I think the thing I'm most scared to do is simply the mundaneness that is finding a job that is worth my time and effort, sticking with it and accepting that that is who I am: nothing special, nothing remarkable, nothing out of the ordinary. Or perhaps I'm just too proud to do that. Either way, it's something that isn't happening at the moment, and it probably should; ultimately, it's going to be that ol' faithful motivator money that makes me do something about it, I guess.

2026: Hollow Fragment

0026_001 The next "big game" of the moment for me is Sword Art Online: Re: Hollow Fragment, a PlayStation 4 rerelease of an earlier Vita game, which itself was an expanded version of an even earlier PSP game. The Vita version had a notoriously dreadful translation, but I'm pleased to report that the PlayStation 4 version is at least readable — though the conversation system is still bafflingly nonsensical at first.

Sword Art Online, for those not into the animes, was a popular show a couple of years back. It was one of those "mainstream" shows that became really popular and which everyone subsequently decided they hated for one reason or another. I never quite understood the hate; sure, it was cheesy as fuck in places, but it was an enjoyable, beautifully presented show with an amazing soundtrack and a concept I've always loved ever since I played .hack for the first time: the MMO that is trying to kill you.

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The Sword Art Online anime concerns Kirito, a protagonist who is a blatant self-insert for the writer, but I won't hold that against anyone, since self-inserts can be a wonderful means of escapism. Kirito becomes trapped in the new virtual reality MMO Sword Art Online after the game launches out of beta and the "logout" button is removed by its designer, capturing all 10,000 launch day players in the virtual world. To make matters worse, said designer — the villain of the piece — informs the players of a little tweak to the rules of the game: if they are forcibly removed from their VR equipment, or if they run out of HP and "die" in the game, then their VR equipment will fry their brain with microwaves, killing them instantly.

There's a get-out clause, though; if the game is cleared by someone defeating the final boss on the 100th "floor", everyone who survived will be allowed to escape. After two years of the game, it becomes apparent that this goal is still a long way off, and player numbers are dwindling as more and more people either fall victim to carelessness or despair along the way. Ultimately, the first arc of the anime concludes with Kirito and his friends defeating Sword Art Online's designer and freeing themselves from the virtual world of Aincrad, only to find themselves in numerous subsequent adventures in other virtual worlds. You'd think they'd learn.

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Hollow Fragment, meanwhile, takes place in a reality where Kirito's defeat of Heathcliff at the end of the first arc was not the end of Sword Art Online, and the players find themselves still trapped within the game. Moreover, they discover that once they pass the 75th floor — the floor where Kirito defeated Heathcliff — they are unable to return to the lower floors, and many of their skills and items become "corrupted", mere shadows of their former selves. The game, then, continues; it looks as if the only way to escape really will be to defeat the boss on the 100th floor.

Except that's not all, because clearing out 25 floors of dungeon would be far too easy a task. In the opening of the game, Kirito finds himself transported to the "Hollow Area", an unexplored part of the Sword Art Online world where strange things happen and rare, high-level monsters and items abound. Acting as a sort of "testing area", the Hollow Area allows Kirito to uncover a number of mysteries surrounding the virtual world of Aincrad as well as beef up his own character's power significantly through various research trees. The flow of the game then becomes a journey back and forth between three distinct components, then: Aincrad, the Hollow Area, and what I like to refer to as Waifutown.

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Aincrad is pretty straightforward. Upon arriving on a new floor, you're shown a big tower off in the distance and informed the boss is waiting for you at the top of it. Between you and said tower are several overworld areas populated by enemies, so you'll need to fight your way up to the boss room in order to challenge it. Along the way you'll also need to gather intelligence on the boss by completing quests and defeating specific named monsters (NMs) as well as helping your fellow "players" to level up enough to take on the challenges ahead. Each "floor" is pretty linear in its design, though the dungeon at the end of it is more maze-like and unfolds across several levels, and you'll be doing a fair amount of backtracking to complete quests.

The Hollow Area works a little differently. Rather than a linear sequence of areas leading to a dungeon maze, the Hollow Area is an interconnected network of zones more akin to a regular RPG or even MMO map. The Hollow Area is split into several different regions, each of which you'll need to build up points in by completing "Hollow Missions" that appear and disappear in real-time as you play. While completing Hollow Missions, you can take on research tasks, which give you specific objectives to complete; once these are completed, you can then implement the research into Kirito's character to improve it. You have to content with bosses here, too, though in the Hollow Area they guard region transitions rather than separate floors.

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Waifutown, meanwhile, is what you do when you're not adventuring. The town on the 76th floor that acts as your adventuring home base is home to most of the characters who got their own episode in the original Sword Art Online anime arc, along with a couple from the later arcs (Leafa and Sinon) who have been shoehorned in for the sake of having a few more waifus to pursue. In town, you can shop, upgrade weapons and hang out with your fellow adventurers. This latter aspect is important; by hanging out with your prospective adventuring partners, you can increase your relationship with them (up to and including sleeping with them) which subsequently helps them perform better in battle. By building up your relationship as well as "training" their AI by praising it when it does well, you can tailor each of the companion characters to your own liking. Or you can pick a waifu and spend the whole game with them if you so desire.

Sword Art Online is an enormous and surprisingly complex game. There are a lot of different systems at play — it's going all-out with the "simulated MMO" aspect in this regard — and, while it's daunting to begin with, the many different ways in which it's possible to progress in the game make it feel like you're always achieving something, and that there's always a choice of things to do at any given moment. While its graphics look like butt outside of the beautiful 2D artwork — its PSP roots are very apparent — it really doesn't matter all that much; it plays satisfyingly well, feeling quite like a high-speed Phantasy Star Online at times, and there's a wonderful, constant sense of discovery and exploration as you work your way around this strange and wonderful virtual world. (And yes, I'll probably make a video about this at some point so you can actually see how it plays.)

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Also you can bed Lisbeth. 10/10

2025: Building Character

So, since I "rebranded" this place on day 2000, you've probably (maybe, possibly not) been wondering who on Earth the people who appear in the images of questionable quality that appear at the top of each post are. So today I'm going to explain who they are and not at all make up backstories and personalities for them on the fly. No sir,

(Layout of this post might look a bit weird if you're not viewing the site at its full width. I apologise.)

pete_001 This is me. You all know me. You may wonder why I am never facing the "camera" and the reason absolutely, positively is not that Manga Maker ComiPo! doesn't have any "beard" attachments for character faces. Rather, it is simply to maintain an air of mystery about my person and to reflect the fact that I am someone who tends to enjoy watching things unfold rather than necessarily taking an active part in them — at least when it comes to things like social situations and the like.

My choice of appearance is due to the fact that I quite like wearing suits (although damn, they are hot and unpleasant to wear in the summer) and I have messy hair and glasses. I'm somewhat larger than this depiction, but I'm on the way to a slimmer, leaner self thanks to Slimming World.

midori_001 This is Midori. She's named after my Japanese evening class teacher from a while back; while I'm not taking those classes any more, Midori inspired me and encouraged me and made me believe that one day I might actually be able to understand the Japanese language. I'm not quite there yet, but I'm on the way.

Midori is 16 years old, and an energetic, enthusiastic, sociable girl, albeit one who isn't the sharpest tool in the box. She makes up for her overwhelming lack of common sense with the amount of passion she exhibits when throwing herself into an activity — any activity. She reflects the part of me that enjoys enthusing about things with people who share my hobbies and interests, and the part of me that wishes it could just "let go" a bit and be a little less up-tight and highly-strung at times.

yumi_001 This is Yumi. I originally created her to effectively be the "opposite" of Midori in almost every way besides gender, but she started to develop a bit of her own personality in her own right as a natural result of this process.

Trope-wise, I'd describe her as a combination of kuudere and tsundere tropes; she's quiet and softly spoken, yet prone to impatience at times and doesn't suffer fools gladly. Despite this, she's been best friends with Midori since childhood, and tolerates her friend's quirks because she secretly finds dealing with her more fun than she'd ever let on in her own right.

Yumi represents the part of me that is concerned with doing things that are "right" and "respectable", and the part that sometimes just wants to get on with life without anyone else interfering.

luther_001 This is Luther. He's just a prick. Also I apparently forgot to give him any shoes when I created him, so that just makes him even more of a prick.

Luther doesn't represent any part of me in particular (except, perhaps, the part that can be a prick) and instead largely exists as a character that can be on the receiving end of various unpleasant happenings because I feel bad making bad things happen to Midori and Yumi. (Although I did run over Midori with a spaceship in yesterday's post, so…)

He was originally created so "I" had someone to punch in the face for the post I wrote about arcade games a while back. He was subsequently also kicked in the bollocks by Midori in my post about Heroes of the Storm a couple of days later.

There you go, then. I hope that was enlightening, or at least fun. Now it's time for bed for me!

2024: Galak-Zed

0025_001 Been playing some Galak-Z on PS4 today. This is a game I've had my eye on for a while, and it's finally been released.

Galak-Z, for the uninitiated, is a "roguelite" — that is, it incorporates some aspects of roguelikes (most notably permadeath and randomly generated elements) while adding some persistent elements and making the overall experience a bit more friendly and accessible to the average person who gets frightened by ASCII.

It's actually got quite a bit in common with the indie darling Rogue Legacy from a while back, in that there's a constant sense of "progression" even when you're fucking things up repeatedly, because even when you mess up, you'll be unlocking stuff that might make future playthroughs a bit easier. Make no mistake, though, Galak-Z is a challenging game that is not afraid to kick your arse.

At heart, it's a top-down space shooter in which you complete various missions that usually boil down to "find dungeon, find thing in dungeon, destroy/collect thing, escape". This simple structure works in the game's favour, as it keeps missions short and snappy with the possibility of variations along the way according to map layouts and the enemies you'll encounter. And treasure, of course; one of the most fun aspects of Galak-Z is gradually outfitting your ship with all manner of death-dealing machinery and hoping it will save your life when one of those bastard Hammerhead ships starts chasing you.

Rather than simply tasking you with surviving as long as possible, Galak-Z is mission-based. To be specific, it's split into five "seasons", each of which requires you to complete five episodes in a row without dying in order to progress to the next. In a charming nod to '80s era Saturday morning cartoons — which the game's whole aesthetic is based on — each episode has a randomly generated title and writer, plus some enjoyable banter between the playable protagonist A-Tak and the heroine Beam.

I'm not sure what the game's longevity will be like as, having not yet finished the first season, I can't say with confidence whether the later missions are more adventurous and complex. It's certainly holding my interest right now, but I feel it may need a bit more to keep me playing in the long term. It remains to be seen whether it will provide that for me, I guess — count on a situation report when the time comes!

In the meantime, I made another video with ShareFactory detailing the game, how it works and what it's all about. Take a look!

2023: The Infinity Dreams Award

0024_001 So I don't do a whole lot of "networking" on this blog, since I primarily use it as a personal outlet/journal sort of affair. I should probably do a bit more, though, particularly as I'm quite active on other forms of social media such as Twitter, where I've found a great number of people who are interested in the same sorts of things as me — which, believe me, is really important.

infinity-dreams-award These blog "award" things are posting prompts that I've seen before, but never really participated in. They can be fun, though, so when Nick of The Skycorps Blog mentioned The Infinity Dreams Award on Twitter yesterday and was looking for people to pass it on to, I volunteered. So thanks, Nick! Me stepping up may not be quite the same thing as someone nominating me without prompting, but I'm grateful for you following through (and the links!) nonetheless.

So what is The Infinity Dreams Award? Well, unlike other blog awards that do the rounds, this isn't a list of questions to answer followed by the opportunity to send on some of your own questions. Instead, it's much simpler: all you have to do is list seven dreams — as in ambitions, not night-time dreams — that you have, and be as personal as you want about it. Well, you all know I have no problem in laying myself out there on this here blog, so let's get intimate.

In no particular order, then, here are my seven dreams.

Dream 1: Finish and publish one of my stories

Shamelessly stealing this from Nick here, but since his first couple of dreams resonated strongly with me, too, I thought I'd give my own thoughts on a similar situation.

I absolutely love writing, particularly creative writing, and so it would be fantastic to actually finish a complete novel-length story and publish it somehow. As long-standing readers will know, I have actually finished several stories in blog format on this here site, but those are largely improvisational and unplanned in nature, and as such would require some heavy editing in order to be publishable.

I do, however, have a number of different stories floating around in my head, some of which I've started writing and others of which are just an interesting idea. The main barrier to me actually knuckling down and finishing one is the fact that I can do Beginnings, and I can do Endings, but it's the middle bit that leads from one to the other that I find myself struggling with a bit. My absolute favourite story that I've been writing for years now has a very clear beginning and a very clear end, but I have absolutely no idea how to join them up together.

Dream 2: Find a good job

Nick's second dream also very much applies to me, as regular readers will know. I'm currently in a situation where I know that "conventional" employment is not a particularly good fit for me, but where freelance work isn't enormously forthcoming for one reason or another. As I noted the other day, there's the possibility of going into business by myself as a Slimming World consultant, and that's something that very much appeals — though the start-up costs for that are significant, and that, frankly, frightens me a bit. As the days go by, though, I'm starting to think more and more that I need to face that fear and just jump in; the job itself, I feel, is something I could do well at and be happy with, so I'm inclined to pursue it and see what happens.

This is, of course, assuming that they interview me and want me in the first place, which remains to be seen, so all of the above may be a moot point.

Dream 3: Publish a successful magazine

Matt at Digitally Downloaded and I have been working hard on our first edition of our magazine, which we're aiming to try and get out of the door at the end of this month. I'm really pleased with what we've developed so far, and I'm very, very excited about the future.

I believe there's absolutely a market for what we're doing, because it's very distinct from what websites offer. I much prefer the sort of thing we're doing — in-depth readings and criticism rather than questionable journalism — and I feel the whole "make the sort of thing you want to see" philosophy is a good basis for creating something. Because chances are you aren't the only one to feel the way you do, as lonely as opinions outside the "norm" can feel sometimes.

Dream 4: Build up my music teaching client base

I already have two piano pupils, with a possible third and fourth coming later in the year. That earns me a few quid each week, but by no means enough to actually survive on. I would love to have more pupils, though in order to do that I know I need to make more of an effort with promotion — it's figuring out where to start with all that. This is one area where the Slimming World job could potentially help me out — a big part of that job is promotion, so it would give me some great ideas on how to get noticed.

Dream 5: Become fluent in Japanese

This is a long-term one, but I'm making the effort. Since my evening classes are no longer running, I have to self-study, which at times can be challenging, but I've found the online courses at YesJapan.com work well with the way my brain works and offer a variety of activities to learn in different ways, so I'm going to continue with those as long as possible. The natural realisation of this dream is the point where I can import a game from Japan and be able to understand everything that is going on in it at the same speed I can do with an English game. In the short-term, I'll just be happy with getting my head around both hiragana and katakana, the former of which I'm getting reasonably confident with, the latter of which is still a mystery.

Dream 6: Reach my target weight and continue losing

I'm still a few stone off the "target" I set for myself when I joined Slimming World, but I've already lost over four stone since February and am continuing to lose, on average, at least a pound every week. I already feel way better about myself than I have done in years, and I can't even imagine how much more self-confidence I will have with a few more stone off my body.

Dream 7: Conquer my depression and anxiety

I don't know if this one will ever come to fruition, but in many ways it's the one I most hope will come true. Depression and anxiety have absolutely crippled and almost destroyed my life up until this point, and I despise them for it. I am better than I was, but my horrible experiences with my last job set me back a good year or two in the "recovery" process — a fact for which I will never forgive those responsible. One day, I would like to be free; for the moment, however, I'll be happy with the odd day of contentment.

I'm supposed to nominate some people now, who will then run with this and continue in their own way — or perhaps ignore it completely. Either way, then, I nominate the following people and blogs:

Pete Skerritt of Consoleation
awesomecurry of カレーまみれ勇者の冒険 Curry Chronicles
Chris Schilling of rudderless
Jud House of Jud's Game Reviews and Jud's Jottings

Not sure quite how many people I'm supposed to nominate, but four is probably fine for now. Drop me a comment or pingback if you decide to participate in this; I'll be very interested to read what you have to say.

2022: Video Star

0023_001 Been experimenting a bit more with video today. Specifically, I had a play with the PlayStation 4's app ShareFactory, which allows you to take video clips and screenshots you've saved while playing PS4 games, then edit them together with commentary, music, transitions and effects into something that can then be rendered and uploaded (almost) directly to YouTube, Facebook or DailyMotion.

ShareFactory is a decent bit of software, it turns out, and works quite nicely with the DualShock 4 controller. Its interface is initially a little difficult to parse, since it's largely icon-based and not immediately apparent what all of said icons are actually for, but once you get your head around it it mostly works well.

ShareFactory is no Final Cut, obviously, but then it doesn't need to be. To make an effective gameplay video, all you need at most is the game footage along with perhaps some still images, some music and some commentary. There's no real need for multiple tracks of video or anything like that — though I believe ShareFactory does support picture-in-picture if you have a PlayStation camera — because you're not making a multi-angle extravaganza of a movie; you're making a video about a game.

I learned something else while making my ShareFactory project, too; I much prefer making videos that are "pre-scripted" rather than improvised Let's Play-style videos. This is probably due to the fact that I also prefer watching videos that are pre-scripted rather than improvised Let's Play-style videos. I grew up on traditional media, remember; I'm not really interested in watching Kids React To Something Pretty Mundane, nor am I interested in listening to someone's reactions in real time as they play something for the first time. I am, however, interested in seeing video used in the "documentary" style; footage of something relevant, with explanatory commentary over the top. This sort of thing doesn't have to be dry and boring, either; more importantly, though, it tends to be a lot more concise, with pre-scripted videos more often than not clocking in at considerably lower durations than Let's Plays.

More to the point, though, it means that I can write something in a "traditional" manner, then just read it out (with feeling!) when it comes to time to record the video. The only real difference is that in the script I found it was a good idea to mark where different video clips/sections should begin. That really helped with editing later, particularly with the way ShareFactory's workflow goes. I could take a clip at a time, record the commentary, then trim/split the clips down to fit the commentary afterwards. After that it was a simple matter to upload it to YouTube and share it with the world.

What's that? You want to see it for yourself? Okay then!

2021: Pondering the Future

0022_001 I went along to a Slimming World recruitment event today, partly out of curiosity and partly because on reflection I had been feeling that it was a possible career direction for me. I say "career"; I can barely call the procession of jobs I've had since leaving university a "career" in good conscience, really, but what I saw today gave me pause, and a feeling that this might actually be something I want to do and that I'm interested in exploring.

Becoming a Slimming World consultant involves going into business for yourself — including forking over a not-insubstantial amount of money as a franchise fee — and having to put in a fair amount of work for promotion and whatnot. The prospect of running a business that is more complicated than I Do Stuff, You Pay Me has always been pretty daunting to me, but looking over the information today and thinking about it made me realise that it's perhaps not quite as scary as what I've been imagining, and that it might well be something that could work well for me.

I make no secret of the fact that I've struggled with what I'd refer to as "conventional employment" over the years. Classroom teaching nearly drove me to suicide on several occasions — though thankfully I didn't come close to even attempting it — while working retail frustrated me at the lack of progression after a certain point if I didn't want to become a manager. Working an office job, meanwhile, was so tedious I was literally bored to tears on an increasingly frequent basis as my time with the company progressed — and, of course, I was ultimately bullied out of the place by people who don't understand depression and anxiety as mental health issues. And freelance writing work, the work with which I've had the most success over the years, lacks the stability I need to feel truly comfortable that I'm "surviving" as best I can.

The prospect of running my own Slimming World business, then, although scary, is appealing. And the main reason for that is that it gets around one of my key problems with full-time positions I've held in the past: the fact that they monopolise all of your time, and that even when companies have explicit policies in place to supposedly maintain a "work-life balance", you still find yourself doing little more in the week than going out at some ungodly hour in the morning, going somewhere you hate to work with people you despise, then coming home in the evening to do little more than the bare minimum required to keep yourself awake and vaguely entertained until the sun sets and it's an acceptable time to go to bed, at which point the whole hideous cycle repeats itself over and over again.

Err, where was I? Oh, yes, the reason running my own business is an appealing prospect. Yes, with all the above in mind, the fact that running a Slimming World business, once you're established and you get your metaphorical "machine" up, running and well-oiled, only takes up a relatively small proportion of the week means that I can pursue all the other things that I might want to do. I can support my income from Slimming World with the irregular freelance work I've been doing. I can continue teaching piano lessons. I can work on the magazine I'm working on with Matt at Digitally Downloaded. In short, I can balance my life, do a variety of things and hopefully not drive myself into the pit of despair that the aforementioned "conventional employment" has ground me down into more than once in my life.

I don't know if I'm the right person for the Slimming World job in the eyes of the recruitment team. I don't know if they'll even interview me, so I haven't got my hopes up or anything. But if the opportunity presents itself, I'm going to give it very serious consideration indeed. It's a job that I think I'd be good at; it's a job I think I'd enjoy; it's a job that I actually feel strongly about and believe in; it's a job that actually uses the skills I've built up and been trained in over the years.

There's just the prospect of that initial start-up fee that's a bit scary. You have to spend money to make money, or so they say, and every new business is faced with start-up costs. I've never had to confront them myself, though, and it's this part that's making me hesitate more than anything else; everything else, I feel, is something that I can handle — perhaps with some training in some areas — but all that means nothing if I can't clear the initial hurdle.

I have thinking to do, and a decision to reach relatively quickly. Perhaps, anyway; it may be that I'm rejected outright, which will suck, of course, but at least it will let me know that I need to pursue other avenues instead. We shall see; I feel I'm on the boundary of something important here, but it remains to be seen if I'm able to make it through onto the other side or not.

2020: Original Content

0021_001 I've been watching a fair bit of Netflix's original content lately. I'll freely admit that I'd been resistant to the idea of an online service's exclusive content through irrational prejudices, but I'm pleased to have been proven very, very wrong indeed.

Let me explain those irrational prejudices first.

I grew up in a bit of a golden era of TV, full of popular shows ranging from Friends to Star Trek: The Next Generation via Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel. These shows ran for a long time, attracted passionate fanbases and, in many cases, were big-budget productions that put out some impressive stuff on a week-by-week basis. Conversely, in the early days of Internet video, Internet video series tended to be done on the cheap; there's nothing wrong with that per se, of course, but that cheapness didn't just extend to production values — it also extended to quality of talent in all aspects of the production. A side-effect of the whole "suddenly everyone is a content creator" aspect of Web 2.0 or 3.0 or whatever it is we're on now.

So, then, I didn't make much of a habit of watching regular Internet video series for quite some time. To this day, there are very few YouTube series that I follow, and I generally preferred to grab a DVD or Blu-Ray box set of a favourite TV series and binge-watch it over the course of a month or two. No waiting for new episodes, no having to watch according to someone else's schedule — just literally content on demand.

With my lack of involvement in Internet video, then, I maintained the assumption that Internet-exclusive video would be cheap, shitty productions that weren't really worth bothering with. I even continued with this assumption as people started praising Netflix's first original series House of Cards — largely because the subject matter didn't really interest me — but just recently, I've finally come around to it, and I'm impressed.

The two shows that have made me a believer in Internet-exclusive content and convinced me that Netflix is absolutely a contender in the original TV programming department are Bojack Horseman and Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. I watched both on the recommendations of other people, and both have been highly enjoyable, not to mention well up to the standard of the stuff you get on TV or in DVD box sets.

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Bojack Horseman is an animated show about a washed-up '90s sitcom veteran who just happens to be a horse-man. Not like a centaur, he's just literally a dude with a horse's head. Over the course of Bojack Horseman, we're introduced to a number of different characters, some of whom are regular human beings and others of whom are, like Bojack himself, anthropomorphised animals. This is a wonderful source of comedy: for the most part, the animal people act just like normal humans, but just occasionally — just often enough to be funny without feeling like a forced joke — they'll exhibit some sort of behaviour that their animal counterpart would do.

Bojack Horseman isn't just cheap laughs, though. It's one of those "adult animation" shows that looks ridiculous and silly on the outside, but which has a heart underneath. Bojack is a deeply flawed yet somewhat sympathetic character struggling to come to terms with the fact that he 1) isn't as famous as he used to be and 2) might actually be a horrible person. The series explores his character in great detail — partly through the eyes of his biographer Diane — and we learn a great deal about him. He's certainly much more than — and I'm sorry — a one-trick pony.

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Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, meanwhile, is a live action show from the pen of Tina Fey. It concerns a young woman who was kidnapped and kept underground for fifteen years by a ne'er-do-well claiming to be a "Reverend" saving them from the Apocalypse. Since Kimmy was kept sheltered from all of existence for these fifteen years, she knows pretty much nothing about how the world works, and gets into numerous entertaining misadventures in New York as a result.

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, like Fey's other work, is sharp, quick witted and frequently scathing. Kimmy is lovably naive without being irritatingly stupid, and the supporting characters are all strong in their own right — albeit often being somewhat exaggerated caricatures. It's a show in which not a great deal actually happens from one episode to another, but the whole thing has a ton of heart and soul to it, and the entire story arc is nicely and neatly wrapped up by the end of the run. I wouldn't be averse to another season of it, but the beauty of it as it exists right now is that it doesn't really need one, since it's told Kimmy's story pretty much from start to finish over the course of 13 episodes.

And that's sort of the beauty of what Netflix is able to do here. Without the pressure from networks and advertising, the teams coming up with this stuff have a lot more freedom than they would if they were composing for traditional television. This, in turn, allows them to be a lot more experimental, daring and interesting with what they're coming out with, and we're already starting to see what a positive effect that has on output.

I'm over my prejudice towards Internet-exclusives, then — though a ton of YouTube-exclusive stuff is still a load of old wank — and am now much more inclined to check out Netflix's original content than I would previously have been. I'm sure there'll be plenty more of Bojack Horseman and Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt's calibre in the future, and I'm looking forward to watching them when they appear.

2019: Hero of Daventry: Some King's Quest First Impressions

0020_001 Following on from my post the other day, I downloaded the first episode of King's Quest on PlayStation 4 today, and gave it a bit of a go earlier. Andie seemed to be enjoying it, so I paused for a bit while she went and had a nap, then we went and had dinner. Will probably play some more tomorrow.

First impressions are very good indeed, though. The game has a gorgeous art style, wonderful animation and a spectacular voice cast, including Christopher Lloyd, Josh Keaton and Maggie Elizabeth Jones.

Most notably, though, the game is very much aware of its heritage. I was concerned that a new developer taking on such a legendary series would lose some of the magic of the original — or worse, try and retrofit their interpretation over the top of the existing format, or "reboot" it — but my mind has been very much set at rest so far, with a story and characterisation that feels very true to King's Quest's lightly comedic (but, at times, surprisingly dark) fairy-tale nature.

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Of particular note in the animation regard is how much care and attention has been lavished on protagonist Graham. Although he's now a beautifully animated 3D model with a dramatically billowing cape as opposed to a tiny pixel dude with yellow skin, there's a bunch of wonderful little touches in the new game as callbacks to the original King's Quest games. Make Graham walk instead of run, for example, and his slightly cocky strut looks just like the crude walking animation of the original game's sprite. And in one sequence, you jump into a river; the animation as Graham flails about in the water is pretty much exactly the same as his old sprite did any time you wandered into a body of water and forgot to type "swim".

And, pleasingly, the new game incorporates the original series' fondness for killing you off in a variety of horrible ways — though, given the game's narrative framework of an elderly Graham narrating his past adventures to his granddaughter, any unfortunate demises are represented as Graham either making a mistake in his memories or cracking a joke.

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The use of old Graham as narrator allows the game to do something that a lot of modern adventure games these days don't do: use a narrator. This is one thing that made Sierra adventures unique and distinct from their biggest rivals LucasArts — in every one of their games, the narrator was as much of a character as the characters who had actual dialogue. In most cases, the narrator wasn't a participant in the narrative, instead taking an omniscient viewpoint of what was going on, but there was a very clear sense of authorial voice that was often distinct between Sierra's different series. The narrators of King's Quest used flowery language and occasional cringeworthy puns — a habit Graham has picked up in the new game — while Space Quest and Leisure Suit Larry used lowbrow humour to good effect. Gabriel Knight, meanwhile, took the bold step of having a narrator with a very strong Creole accent explain what was going on — stylistically appropriate, though initially jarring if you were used to the somewhat cleaner, more easily understandable tones of the American narrators of Sierra's other games. (Once you became accustomed to her drawl, however, she delivered some delightfully sarcastic zingers at Gabriel's expense throughout the game.)

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Pleasingly, old Graham's narration pays attention to what you are doing and has a variety of responses for when you try to do the same thing over and over again. There's no Discworld-style "That doesn't work!" here; instead, keep trying to do something that's clearly wrong and old Graham will come up with more and more fanciful reasons about his futile attempts, until eventually his granddaughter stops him in most cases. There's also a delightful running joke about That One Adventure Game Item You Use For Everything when you discover a hatchet which comes in useful for a while. After its final task, however, Graham leaves it behind, with old Graham putting special emphasis on the fact that he would "not need it ever again". (Prior to this, of course, you were free to attempt to use it on anything and everything, with suitable comments from both Graham and Gwendolyn along the way.)

So far, then, I'm delighted by how King's Quest has turned out. It's smart, funny, beautiful and captures the essence of the old games while bringing them right up to date. I'm looking forward to see how the remainder of this first episode continues — and how the series as a whole develops over time.