#oneaday Day 161: Plans for Tomorrow

Tomorrow I'm going to do some streaming, as I have done the past few weeks. 8pm UK time, twitch.tv/pjedavison. Be there, or… don't be there, I guess. But it'd be nice if you were.

Rather than grinding through another layer of Mon-Yu, though, I thought it'd be a nice opportunity to play some shoot 'em ups and, assuming his availability lasts, have a bit of a chat with my good friend Chris, who enjoys a good shoot 'em up. We haven't had the opportunity to record a MoeGamer Podcast for a very long time, and while this isn't quite the same thing, it'll be fun to have a good chat. As an American, Chris is quite understandably a bit under the weather about… everything, so hopefully a bit of fun will take his mind off things for a couple of hours.

Anyway! I don't have overly specific plans other than "play some fun stuff", but I'm going to keep it limited to the Evercade Toaplan Arcade cartridges, of which there are now four. (Well, technically there will be four by the end of the year, but since I work for Blaze I have the last two already.) These are, for me, personal highlights of the complete Evercade library, and I'm thrilled to have worked on all of them.

The games are fantastic, and we were fortunate enough to have access to former Toaplan staffers such as Masahiro Yuge and Tatsuya Uemura to provide some additional commentary for the manuals. I even managed to get some commentary from Tim Follin for Toaplan Arcade 4, since that features the NES port of Sky Shark, which has a soundtrack by the great man himself — though he doesn't think it's his best work!

I'm not sure how well streaming copes with something as frenetic as a shoot 'em up, but it'll be an interesting experiment regardless. Rationally speaking, if a stream can cope with modern 3D games such as first-person shooters and real-time strategy games, I'm sure it can cope with spaceships going boom.

Like I say, I haven't decided specifically what I might play on stream as yet; I'll just take things as they come. I'll probably give the new collections some love, though, as they have a number of games that I think are particularly interesting and noteworthy. Toaplan Arcade 3, for example, has both Batsugun and Batsugun Special Version, which are spectacularly good games, but I want to give Vimana some love, too, as that's one very few people have heard of and I really like it.

A word of caution: don't come to this stream expecting high-level play, or anything other than very basic competence. I love shoot 'em ups, but I'm not super-good at them. This is probably because, like many things, I don't put enough practice in to get good, which is where I think a stream like this might be fun. I can take some time to practice, chat, talk strategy and just generally shoot the breeze — and hopefully having an additional participant in the mix will present some fun topics of discussion. We'll try not to rant too much about the state of the modern world.

So yeah. That's the plan for tomorrow. I'll be going ahead with the stream regardless of whether Chris is available (but he's said he should be) so please do stop by for a bit if you feel like it! See you then!

Want to read my thoughts on various video games, visual novels and other popular culture things? Stop by MoeGamer.net, my site for all things fun where I am generally a lot more cheerful. And if you fancy watching some vids on classic games, drop by my YouTube channel.

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#oneaday Day 153: Sharing stuff

Hello. If you follow me here, it's relatively likely that you follow me in other places, too. But I realise that there is the possibility you don't. As such, I would like to devote today's post to sharing a few things I've done over on YouTube. If you would like to follow my YouTube channel, here's the link. Over there, I make videos on video games, primarily retro stuff but with occasional dalliances into more recent stuff I feel like talking about. And also related topics, which brings me to the first video I would like to share.

Exactly what does Yars' Revenge taste like? I decided to find out. Yes, I am someone who is foolish enough to see a range of 10 sauces with "Atari" written on them, and then to spend £70 on purchasing all of them. I partly did this because I like Atari, partly because I like a good sauce, and partly because I thought it might make a fun video. I am pleased to report that these ten sauces have fulfilled all of their obligations, and you can see my first reactions to them in the video above.

You probably know this, but for my day job I work for Blaze Entertainment, makers of the Evercade range of consoles and the HyperMegaTech! Super Pocket devices, which are also Evercade compatible. When I learned we would be doing an Atari handheld, I was, of course, delighted — even more so when I learned we would be doing a special edition woodgrain model. In this video, I give a quick overview of all 50 games on the system. I was not paid to do this by either my employer or Atari — I just wanted to, because there's some cool stuff on there, and I'm an Atari nerd.

Atari attracted some raised eyebrows when they announced Yars Rising, a follow-up to the famous 1982 Atari 2600 title. I played the demo one Steam Next Fest and was very taken with it — helped enormously by the fact I'm very fond of the other games developer WayForward have previously worked on. I bought the full game and really enjoyed it, so I made a video about it, based on my write-up over on MoeGamer. It did quite well by the standards of my channel, too, which was nice.

This video didn't do very well, at least initially, and it's still sitting on the low side of the view count compared to some of my other stuff. But I wanted to share it because it's about a thoroughly interesting game: The Missing by SWERY65. This is a platformer in which you play a woman who can't die; she can survive being decapitated and dismembered and, indeed, it's necessary to endure both of those things in order to solve the game's various puzzles.

Far from being a weirdly violent horror game, though, The Missing is actually a thoroughly fascinating, deeply personal story about gender identity and finding acceptance — both in yourself, and from those around you. The game was so striking to me I really wanted to talk about it, so I'm glad I made this video, even if not that many people watched it.

Let's close with this one. I went into this thinking that doing a video on a text adventure would be a silly idea, but ended up really enjoying the whole thing. Narrating the whole thing makes for (in my humble opinion, anyway) a relaxing, pleasant video, and I don't mind admitting that I've fallen asleep to the sound of my own voice in this video on multiple occasions. Plus I think Moonmist is a thoroughly interesting game from Infocom that rarely gets talked about.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy those. Please do feel free to subscribe over on YouTube if you want to see more. My wife Andie is away for a couple of days from tomorrow lunchtime, so I'm going to use the time to record a bunch of stuff, I think, and probably do some streaming, too. Join me!

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#oneaday Day 151: Scribbling down an idea

Hello. Indulge me this evening, if you please, because I want to make a note of an idea I have for a longer article that I'll likely publish on MoeGamer at some point in the near future. It stems from a discussion I've previously had with my friend Chris (my MoeGamer Podcast co-star) about how RPGs are "categorised", and how "western RPG" and "Japanese RPG" are woefully inadequate terms to talk about the RPG as it exists today.

I'm not going to go too into it today but I wanted to jot down the ideas that were rattling around my head while I was playing Silent Hope this evening. And that is to devise some sort of "taxonomy" for RPGs as they exist today. I'm thinking at the top level, you can split them into two distinct categories: narrative-centric RPGs, where the core of the experience is on enjoying the unfolding story; and mechanics-centric RPGs, where the main point of the game is fiddling with its various systems, optimising your characters and suchlike.

There are some games that straddle that line, of course, but for the most part, it's pretty easy to split them down the middle like that based on what is clearly the main priority. Final Fantasy XIII, for example, is a narrative-centric RPG. Demon Gaze is a mechanics-centric RPG. Where things get quite interesting is that long-running series often go back and forth between being narrative- and mechanics-centric — Final Fantasy is a prime example of this.

You can then divide each half into further subcategories. Narrative-centric RPGs, for example, could be divided into cinematic RPGs, sandbox RPGs, visual novel RPGs and storytelling RPGs, while mechanics-centric RPGs could be split into first-person dungeon crawlers, isometric action RPGs, massively multiplayer games, roguelikes and various other categories, some of which intertwine and cross over with one another.

I haven't thought about the idea in a lot of depth yet, as you can probably tell from the vagueness, but I think there's an interesting concept to write about there. The reason I'm not writing about it in detail right now is because it's 1am and I, as ever, have forgotten to write anything on here sooner. It is not beyond my capabilities to bash out a 3,000+ word epic at 1 in the morning, but I do have to work tomorrow and would rather do so having had something approaching a decent night's sleep.

So that's that. I will flesh out the concept in the very near future and post it on MoeGamer. Might even turn into a fun video. We shall see. Anyway, I have recorded the idea here now. Next job is to completely forget that I wrote it down here and revisit the idea in roughly 36 months.

Good night!

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#oneaday Day 148: Stream Success

I done a stream! It went pretty well, and I enjoyed myself. Even had a few people chatting along. If you want to catch up on it, here it is archived on my YouTube channel:

As you can hopefully see from the thumbnail, we were playing the delightfully named Mon-Yu: Defeat Monsters And Gain Strong Weapons And Armour – You May Be Defeated But Don't Give Up. Become Stronger. I Believe There Will Be A Day When The Heroes Defeat The Devil King. This is a dungeon crawler by Experience, makers of, among other things, the Spirit Hunter horror adventures I've been playing recently.

I obviously talk more about the game in the stream itself, but my first impressions after a 3-hour session are very positive. It's really interesting how Experience manage to make what is ostensibly the same kind of game feel cool and different between all their different titles. Mon-Yu is pitched as an entry-level dungeon crawler, but there are plenty of interesting little wrinkles for genre veterans, such as being level capped on each dungeon, meaning you have to figure out how to deal with the bosses without just outlevelling them.

There's also an interesting equipment system, where equipment gains experience as you use it alongside the characters. Equipment has a "rank" which determines how much it can level up, so sometimes you have to make a decision between keeping your upgraded items or taking a temporary hit to your effectiveness while you power up something with a higher cap.

There's also a really great "rapid battle" system, where if you know what you're doing you can get all your characters to auto-attack or repeat their last actions without having to wait for all the animations and log entries to appear on screen. Combine this with the fact that the game has no random encounters — and by its level-capped structure, it discourages grinding to a certain extent — and you have a really interesting take on what has, over the course of the last few years, become one of my favourite subgenres.

Anyway, it's half past two in the morning now because I made a video about sauce after finishing the stream. Watch out for that on my channel later next week. For now, I must sleep!

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#oneaday Day 147: Saturday Night is for Streaming

Well, it is this week, anyway. Andie is going out for a friend's birthday in the evening, so I thought I might take the opportunity to do a bit of streaming. You, dear reader, are welcome to stop by. Here's my Twitch channel. I'll be streaming from about 8pm UK time, all being well, and the duration will depend on how much fun I'm having and whether anyone is actually chatting. I plan to go for at least an hour or two, though.

The game I've picked to stream is one I deliberately haven't started yet. It's Experience's dungeon crawler Mon-Yu: Defeat Monsters and Gain Strong Weapons and Armor. You May Be Defeated, but Don’t Give Up. Become Stronger. I Believe There Will Be a Day When the Heroes Defeat the Devil King. I have picked this for several reasons:

I like Experience games.
I like dungeon crawlers.
It has a silly name.
As I understand it, it's a fairly light and breezy take on the dungeon crawler, so it should be eminently suitable for chatting while playing.

Now I'm sure anyone who is all about "optimising" their Twitch experience would recommend I play something people have actually heard of. But if you've ever paid my YouTube channel a visit you will know that I don't really give a shit about baiting the algorithm and getting huge viewing figures.

In fact, as I've discussed previously, I actually don't like it when a video does well, because after you crash through a certain number of views, people start to get a bit more mean and I'm not a big fan of that. So I'd rather just host a nice little comfortable stream for friends to drop in on as they see fit — and perhaps a few newcomers can pop along and learn a bit about a game they haven't seen before alongside me.

Streaming is something that, I know, you have to work hard at in order to get anywhere. To be honest, I'm not so fussed about trying to "make partner" or "go affiliate" or whatever — the thing that appeals to me about streaming more than anything else right now is the prospect of potentially making some human connections with people. I have been so bereft of good company beyond my wife and cats in recent years that I want to try various means of potentially meeting new folks. And streaming would seem like a potentially solid means of discovering people with similar interests that I might get along with.

I know that won't happen immediately. I'm fine with that. I've recorded lots of Let's Plays for YouTube, so I am intimately familiar with how to talk rubbish entirely to myself while playing a video game. But if some good conversation happens to come about? So much the better. We shall see, I guess.

Anyway, tomorrow evening, 8pm UK time. I'll let you work out what that is in your region. Let's hunt some monsters and have a good time!

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#oneaday Day 142: More sound novels, please

Playing through Death Mark and now its sequel NG, I'm once again struck by how much I like the "sound novel" approach to Japanese-style adventure games. I last encountered this style of presentation back when I looked at 428: Shibuya Scramble, and I liked it a lot there, too. And I'd like to see more of it.

For the unfamiliar, a "sound novel" is usually a form of visual novel in which audible character speech (as in, voice acting) is eschewed in favour of presenting narration and dialogue exclusively (or almost exclusively in the case of Death Mark and NG) through text. To counterbalance the "loss" of this aspect that is normally found in most visual novels these days, sound novels place a much stronger emphasis on ambient audio.

That means unlike many other visual novels, which tend to have continuous background music as their main accompaniment to the action, sound novels attempt to create a sense of "immersion" in the game environment via a slightly different means. It's a uniquely "video game" way of doing things, and the more I experience it, the more I really like it.

Part of the reason I appreciate it is because I'm a fast reader, and when I'm playing a visual novel with full voice acting, I find it very difficult to make myself advance the text before the speech has finished playing — even if the speech is not in a language I understand. This is because I know that there is often some very good voice acting in visual novels — it tends to be where a lot of the budget goes — and I worry that I might miss out on some particularly dramatic or emotional moments if I skip the sound.

The game that got me into this habit was Corpse Party on PSP, which is kind of sort of a visual novel, only with RPG-style exploration. The voice acting in that game was so good that I not only listened to every line in its entirety, even though I don't speak Japanese, I also made listening to the Japanese voice track my norm in most games (well, those that originated in Japan, anyway) I played from thereon.

But I'm always just a bit conscious of the fact that all that lovely voice acting is slowing me down, and since I inevitably read a line faster than it's spoken — particularly if we're dealing with one of those characters that speaks incredibly slowly — I can occasionally feel my attention wandering. Now, I could just skip the dialogue and move on to the next line, but like I say, there's a little switch in my brain that's flipped, and I can't flip it back; it just doesn't feel right to do that.

Sound novels, though, present no such difficulty. I can romp through Death Mark and NG (and indeed 428: Shibuya Scramble before them) at completely my own pace. I don't need to wait for a voice actor, I don't need to wait for a dramatic moment, I just read and advance. And I really like it.

This got me thinking more broadly about how I'm settling into a place where I feel like I actually prefer the games that deliberately hold themselves back from trying to be "realistic" in various ways. I played Death Mark immediately after the Silent Hill 2 remake, and while the Silent Hill 2 remake was indisputably excellent, I think I'm actually drifting into a place where I enjoyed Death Mark more in terms of the way it was presented to me. And I'm enjoying NG even more than Death Mark, because it's doing a lot of the same things, only it feels a bit more polished and refined.

So I think I'm in a place where the "sound novel" approach is fast becoming one of my favourite ways to present an interactive narrative. It's got the descriptive text and well-crafted dialogue I enjoy, it's got incredibly atmospheric ambient sound to feel "immersive", and I can play through it at completely my own pace, rather than being arbitrarily limited by my inability to skip through voice-acted lines.

Of course, in the other games I suppose I could just turn the voice acting off. But then I feel like I'm deliberately depriving myself of an important part of that game's presentation.

Oh, woe is me. I realise, of course, that this is a completely pointless problem to be worrying about, and, to be honest, I'm not actually worrying about it at all. It just struck me as something interesting while I was playing NG this evening, and I hope I can find some more sound novels to enjoy once I'm done with the Spirit Hunter series.

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#oneaday Day 138: Marked

I'm currently playing Death Mark, a game I've had on my shelf (along with its two sequels) for quite a while now, but have never gotten around to. I've been meaning to play it for "spooky season" for a few years now, but for one reason or another the timings have never quite lined up. This year, I made it happen!

As with most things, I'll do a full writeup on MoeGamer once I've finished it, but four chapters in now I can offer some reasonably well-informed thoughts on what I think so far.

For the unfamiliar, Death Mark is a horror adventure game by Experience Inc. Experience Inc. is a developer primarily known for making dungeon crawlers with beautiful artwork such as the excellent Demon Gaze series. Death Mark eschews most of the role-playing game trappings in favour of adventure game mechanics — though Experience haven't completely left behind what they're known for.

The premise of the game revolves around individuals suddenly finding they are "Marked" with a strange scar that looks like a bite mark. This indicates that very soon, they are going to lose their memories and then die horribly. The game consists of a series of discrete cases, during which you, as the Marked amnesiac protagonist, are tasked with helping out one or more companion characters and hopefully giving a restless spirit — the source of the Mark — some peace.

This involves exploring an area from a first-person perspective, discovering clues, solving puzzles and, when the time comes, confronting the spirit directly.

The first-person exploration is where Death Mark is closest to Experience's dungeon crawlers, though the locations you move between are static images rather than polygonal environments. If you know a pathway exists, you can simply hit a direction on the D-pad to go that way, but in some cases you'll need to investigate the environment in a point-and-click style with your torch to find hidden routes.

As you explore, you'll start to learn more about the Ghost of the Week. In the tradition of Japanese ghost stories, all the restless spirits have been wronged in some way, and they are designed to have rather sympathetic stories — even if their ordeals turned them into vicious, violent monsters. And this is relevant when it comes to confronting the spirit at the end of each chapter.

A "battle" with a spirit unfolds in a turn-based fashion. Each turn, you and your companion can use one of the items you've found during the chapter. Some items can be used repeatedly, others have a limited number of uses. And some items can be used in combination, allowing you and your partner to cooperate and achieve something.

The process of the battle generally consists of a couple of rounds of you finding ways to counter the spirit's attacks, and then, when they get close enough, you have the option of either killing them violently, or doing something that will pacify them and lay the troubled soul to rest once and for all. Taking the former option is usually a more obvious, easier choice, but will usually result in the death of your companion. Taking the latter option requires that you really have searched the environment thoroughly and acquired all the necessary clues to resolve the situation.

It works really well. The game is good about not allowing you to get into "unwinnable" situations, as if you mess up you can simply restart from a previous decision point or, in the case of the spirit battle, from the start of the confrontation. This means that even if you've reached the "finale" of a case, you can still wander off and make sure you haven't missed any important clues before taking on the spirit.

It's a game that is, for the most part, creepy rather than "scary" — there aren't many in the way of "jump scares", and the horror mostly comes from the gradual realisation of what has happened to the poor souls you're laying to rest. There are some gory, violent scenes, though, and many of these have a somewhat fetishistic angle, which, as you might expect, caused more than a few people to sniff and tut when it was originally released.

As anyone with basic media literacy knows, though, sex and horror are inextricably linked, and have been for the longest time in both the eastern and western traditions of the genre. So Death Mark is just doing what comes naturally for the genre; while this leads to some genuinely uncomfortable scenes, it's also good to see a game that doesn't feel like it has to hold back from showing you these things.

Anyway, that's enough for now. I'll have much more to say when I've beaten the whole thing. I believe I have two more cases to go, so I reckon I'll probably have it done by the end of the week. We shall see, though; in the meantime, it's been a great pick for Spooky Season so far, and I'm looking forward to exploring the follow-ups!

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#oneaday Day 137: No, NTSC YOU

One thing I've been meaning to do for a while is make using my NTSC-U (North American) PS2 more convenient, particularly now I have a RetroTink 5X to get a lovely picture on the big TV. I make the intended process sound more complicated than it really was: all I essentially needed to do was to get another video cable to connect to the American PS2, but for one reason or another I've been putting it off forever.

No longer! I grabbed a set of component cables from Retro Gaming Cables and hooked them up to the Tink today. The reason I went with component rather than RGB SCART is that I already have my PAL PS2 connected to the Tink via RGB SCART, and going with component means I can plug both in at once without having to change cables over — all I need to do is switch the input on the Tink. The quality is, from what I've seen so far, near-identical on both; the only sticking point I had was when I first plugged them in, I got sound and no picture, meaning I had to navigate the PS2 menu by sound alone (and with judicious referring to my working PAL one) to switch it to YPbPr mode. But once that was done, everything was fine and dandy.

I don't have that many North American games, but the few I do have are quite precious to me. On the PS1 front, there's Parasite Eve, Brave Fencer Musashi and Xenogears, three games that I originally picked up around the same time on a trip over to the States to visit my brother. The copies I have now are not the same ones I had as a kid, but they're in almost as good condition, and I'm looking forward to revisiting them.

On the PS2 front, there's Mana Khemia 2: Fall of Alchemy, which I played and adored a couple of years back, plus the first and third Xenosaga games because, inexplicably, we only got the middle episode here in PAL-land. I haven't played those yet but would like to set aside some time for them at some point, as I know they are very well regarded.

Having all this up and running makes me want to seek out a few more North American titles I had back in the day. I'm tempted to try and track down the Lunar games, but since those are getting ports to modern consoles soon it's probably not worth the expense. Final Fantasy Tactics is another tempting one; I know the PSP port is "better" in many ways, but I still have extremely fond memories of the PS1 original. Other NTSC titles I had back then — most notably Final Fantasy IX and Metal Gear Solid — are readily available in PAL format; I got them back in the day because back then, North American releases were months ahead of European releases, sometimes even years.

Then there's a ton of RPGs that never made it to Europe that I wouldn't mind getting my hands on at some point… trouble is, PS1 games have been steadily increasing in price for a while, particularly RPGs. So it's entirely possible that I might never be able to get my hands on some of these, which will be a shame. (I'm also super-salty that I got rid of my excellent condition PS1 copy of Symphony of the Night back in the day, but at least there are multiple alternative options for playing that today.)

Still, it's nice that I now have a solid solution for playing the games that I do still own on original hardware. Because as fun as emulation is, there's still something altogether magical about having the originals of these games.

Anyway, it's not as if I'm short of stuff to play. But options are always good! Now, should I revisit Brave Fencer Musashi, Parasite Eve or Xenogears first…?

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#oneaday Day 125: Don't forget the text

I'm currently playing through the Silent Hill 2 remake and absolutely loving it. I was uneasy about the prospect of one of my favourite games of all time getting the remake treatment, but I'm pleased to confirm that Bloober Team absolutely, completely and definitely 100% understood the assignment, and have done a fabulous job.

I haven't yet finished it, though, so I'm not going to write about it (likely on MoeGamer) until then. What I did want to comment on was a more general observation about modern games, of which Silent Hill 2 just happens to be the most recent example.

And that observation — more of a question, really — is this: what happened to descriptive text?

In the original Silent Hill 2, lest you're unfamiliar, walking up to anything vaguely important-looking and pressing the "action" button would prompt a short text description, implied to be "thought" by the protagonist, at the bottom of the screen.

The most commonly seen couplet in all of Silent Hill 2 was "It looks like the lock is broken. I can't open it," close friend of its 32-bit predecessor "The lock is jammed. This door can't be opened." This occurred any time you attempted to open a door that would lead to a room which wasn't relevant to the game — rather than waste time and dev resources on rendering rooms that had no relevance to what was going on, potentially confusing players in the process, we instead had about a zillion "broken locks". It was silly, but at least it made things absolutely clear that this door was not going to open at any point in the game.

In the Silent Hill 2 remake, meanwhile, you open doors just by walking into them, as in most modern games that use realistic visuals. All well and good, until you reach either a locked or "broken lock" (irrelevant) door, at which point protagonist James just sort of bumps into it like he's slightly drunk. No text on screen, and no indication as to whether you're dealing with a "locked" or "broken" door until you look at the map.

Similarly, in the original Silent Hill games, you could examine inventory objects and get a short text description of them. Now, "investigating" them from the inventory screen simply cuts to a close up of James holding the thing in his hand, allowing you to rotate it approximately 10 degrees in either direction, but never actually saying anything. (The only exception to this are the various bits of paper and memos you pick up during the game, which thankfully you can re-read, and which are optionally presented in clearly legible typeface as well as the handwritten scrawl they are depicted as using. All this is standard practice for "adventure game-adjacent" games in the moderate to big-budget space these days.

Now, look. I get it. The idea behind this is to be "immersive", and also to show off the fact that textures are so good now you can actually read the small print on a petrol canister you happen to find. The aim is to minimise interruptions to the gameplay, and waiting for someone to press X to clear a text box is somehow seen as more obtrusive than waiting for them to press O to put the inventory item away and return to the main play screen. I suspect it stems from the same mentality that writing more than one sentence at once will cause every TikTok addict in the room to immediately stop paying attention.

Thing is, I liked those text boxes. (Also fuck TikTok addicts. That site is a net negative for humanity. But I digress.) They added a little flavour to proceedings, allowing you to "hear the thoughts" of the main character on various topics. They also made it clear what you were looking at in situations where that might not be immediately obvious. And for all the graphical fidelity of today's big budget games, there are still situations where you'll encounter something and go "uh… what?"

Not only that, but these little textual interludes could also conceal fun little bonuses and Easter eggs. Who remembers the thing in Resident Evil 2 where if you examine that one desk enough times, you get a picture of Rebecca Chambers in a basketball uniform? If you do, you are a pervert and a dirty old man (like me!), but you know what I'm talking about. (The photo is still in the very good Resident Evil 2 remake from a few years back, but the process to acquire it is somewhat more convoluted and less… Easter eggy.)

I could go off on a big rant about accessibility here, but I can't be bothered because other people have almost certainly done so better than I would ever be able to. I just miss the text boxes because they were a uniquely "video game" sort of thing that I always found it fun to engage with. I found it interesting to see which seemingly innocuous objects throughout the game world had been blessed with a bit of descriptive text, and often thought that it would be neat to have a game where the entire world was "examinable" and offered up little snippets like that. (I even started making a game in that ilk myself with RPG Maker VX Ace… one day I might finish it.)

Anyway, yeah. I guess my point is: don't skimp on the text just because you have fancy-pants 4K graphics and super high resolution textures. Some of us actually like reading the words!

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#oneaday Day 123: In my restless dreams, I see that town

As I type this, I am eagerly awaiting the delivery of my PS5 copy of the Silent Hill 2 remake. I was skeptical when this was first announced, but after playing the Resident Evil 4 remake a while back — I still haven't actually played the original — I have a bit more faith that a modern developer can do justice to a PS2-era classic.

I absolutely adore the original Silent Hill 2, and I have some vivid memories attached to it.

It was my third year at university, and I was living in a nice but relatively pokey house in the middle of "the Flowers estate", also known as "the dodgy bit of Bassett" in Southampton.

The house was quite a find; its rent was incredibly reasonable (like, in the region of £30-something a week, compared to our previous year's shithole that had been £57 a week) and the house was in, frankly, amazing condition for something that was being rented out to students. So I, my friend's girlfriend and our perpetually absent housemate snapped it up. (Seriously. She didn't stay a single night in that house during our entire year there. Her room just sat completely empty, but she dutifully paid her rent and bills on time every month from… somewhere. To this day I have no idea what the deal was.)

If you're wondering why I was living with my friend's girlfriend, it's because she also happened to be my friend; I refer to her as "my friend's girlfriend" because I knew my friend, the boyfriend in question, first. He was one of my best pals in the latter years of secondary school and sixth form, as it happens. He was studying in Reading and subsequently in the Netherlands, whereas she was studying in Southampton, so when it came to time for everyone to find a place to stay in their second year, we decided to team up and help each other out, since both of our respective groups of friends had sorted themselves out without us.

As it transpired, while he was in the Netherlands he got super into weed (like, proper addicted to it, to a degree it was severely affecting his behaviour) and became kind of abusive and horrible, so he stopped being both my friend and my friend's girlfriend at some point during that period. You'd think this might have made things a bit awkward, but no, she appreciated having me as a non-judgemental confidant; she knew that despite chappy being a good friend from school days, I wasn't going to side with him being a complete drug-addled tool to her. And this wasn't a "nice guy" thing in the hopes of getting some either; I liked the lady in question, but just as a pal, and I'm sure the feeling was mutual. Just so we're clear on that note. I did fancy our perpetually absent housemate, though, after meeting her once. But then I never saw her again, so that was that.

Anyway, this was supposed to be about Silent Hill 2. One day, some pals from back home — former school friends again — came by this very house to visit for a few days. We did the usual things you do when getting together with friends in your early 20s: we got drunk, we ordered takeaway curry, we repaired a Sega Saturn controller using only a cotton bud and a bottle of cheap vodka. You know, the usual.

One of these friends was someone who always bought the "big" new games the moment they came out, and this time was no exception; he'd brought his shiny new copy of Silent Hill 2 along with him. We'd all enjoyed the first Silent Hill while we were still at school, so we were excited at the prospect of the sequel, intending to play it through together.

What actually happened is that my two friends fell asleep, full of curry, vodka and alcopops, while I played through the entire thing in a single night, surrounded by the increasingly fragrant remnants of our takeaway and the dregs of the bottles we'd glugged our way through. I got the "In Water" ending. And I was blown away.

My friends and I had already become convinced that video games could absolutely be art after playing Final Fantasy VII and Metal Gear Solid, but there was something about Silent Hill 2 that even my undergraduate self could tell was truly special. This was a game that was about far more than just what was being depicted on screen and explicitly said. This was a game where the horror was not about scary monsters and loud noises — though both had a presence — but rather about the lurking horror and gradual realisation of psychological trauma.

It was around this time in my life that I first started learning about mental health, and particularly depression. A young woman with whom I was particularly intimate was the first person with depression that I'd really had close contact with, and she was happy to talk about and explain things to me. It helped me a great deal; it helped me to understand that I, too, had been suffering from it for quite some time and just hadn't really had the words or the knowledge to be able to express that.

That might sound silly these days, when pretty much everyone on the Internet is self-diagnosing their own litany of mental health conditions on a daily basis, but this was 2001, we were still using dial-up Internet and social media hadn't been invented. So it was all very new to me, and while it was a bit bleak, it was also interesting. The workings of the mind had always fascinated me — my creative writing projects for GCSE and A-Level English had always involved a heavy psychological component — and finally getting a sense that I was starting to understand why I sometimes felt the way I did was a revelation.

Silent Hill 2, dealing with a lot of heavy themes concerning mental health, came at exactly the right time for me. It came at a time where I was learning to understand and recognise these feelings and how different people deal with them, and living through James Sunderland's traumatic experiences on the screen of my 27-inch CRT telly in the lounge was oddly cathartic. It was one of a few games from the period that I felt really spoke to me, and it's continued to occupy an important space in my head ever since.

It's a game that I've replayed and loved many times over the years, so I'm excited to see what looks set to be a genuinely interesting but respectful take on it with the new game. Whether it will recapture that same magic remains to be seen, but having heard some thoughts on it from people who have already played it, and whose opinions I respect, I feel positive about what I'm about to head into.

Now I just have to wait for the dang thing to arrive. Come on, Argos!

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