Think I forgot to write — apologies. In exchange, I present to you a guide to some of my favourite bad puns, jokes and/or references in my video titles. I'm never sure if anyone actually "gets" some of the references I make, but they make me happy, and to be honest that's all that really matters. With that in mind, here's a selected assortment:
- FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHT TO LANTERNS (Bruce Lee, Atari 8-bit) – referencing The Beastie Boys' Fight For Your Right To Party, because in Bruce Lee you are fighting to get lanterns. And probably to party, but I've never got that far.
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LAYING CABLES (Juice!, Atari 8-bit) – If you're laying a cable, you're having a poo. But it's also what you're doing in Juice!
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JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FRUIT (Kangaroo, Atari 8-bit) – In Friends, Joey doesn't share food. A baby kangaroo is called a joey. In Kangaroo, you don't share fruit.
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NEAR A TOMATO (The Upper Reaches of Apshai, Atari 8-bit) – This was a common "hilarious" mispronunciation of Nier: Automata back when it came out, but in The Upper Reaches of Apshai there is rarely a time when you aren't near a tomato — one that wants to kill you.
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MATTER OF FACT IT'S ALL DARK (Dark Side, Atari ST) – A reference to Pink Floyd's album The Dark Side of the Moon, which concludes with a very quiet outro that includes the revelation that the moon doesn't really have a dark side; it is, in fact, all dark, and the part that appears "light" is just due to the sun. But you knew that.
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PIRAMITSUDO MAJITSUKU (Gem'X, Atari ST) – What the katakana on the emphatically not Japanese Gem'X's packaging actually says, rather than what they intented (which was presumably "piramiddo majikku", or "pyramid magic")
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POLITICS IN GAMES (Mercenary III, Atari ST) – I was hoping this title would make more people angry than it did. You know how people get pissy about video games having "politics" in them? Well, Mercenary III is literally a game about politics.
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EXIT, PURSUED BY A BEAR (Garfield: Winter's Tail, Atari ST) – Shakespeare's best ever stage direction. The source? The Winter's Tale, of course.
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CONFIDENCE AND HUNGER (Concentration, Atari 2600) – "Concentration comes out of a combination of confidence and hunger." – a quote from the golfer Arnold Palmer, who apparently knows about such things.
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NO FLAG, NO COUNTRY, THAT'S THE RULES (Flag Capture, Atari 2600) – I'll just link this to you and you'll work it out.
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SMALLER SALTY MEAT (Micro-Gammon SB, Atari 5200) – Gammon is a type of salty meat, so therefore it stands to reason that micro-gammon is smaller salty meat.
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CATCH THAT CHURCH (Steeplechase, Atari 2600) – Many churches have steeples, so if you're chasing a church you are clearly engaging in a…
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DAS BOOT WAS MADE FOR SHOOTING (Submarine Commander, Atari 2600) – And that's just what it'll do. One of these days das boot is gonna shoot all over yo– wait, that sounds a bit wrong.
I know I'm not big and I'm not clever, but like I say, they make me happy. Plenty more where that came from.
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