I'm tired. Tired of the noise of everyday life, tired of shouting into the void that is social media, tired of general existence. I'm not sure I'd describe what I'm feeling as "depression", but there's a certain… I don't know, "emptiness" there that is frustrating. Because I don't know what to do about it.
I mean, I'm enjoying what I do, greatly. I'm proud of the work I put out. The numbers are going up, suggesting that I'm doing something right. But there just feels like there's something… "missing". And I tend to blame how Twitter — probably social media in general — has changed over the course of the last decade and a bit.
When I first joined Twitter, it was a place to hang out, chat, enjoy yourself. It was fun. I had friends there. I met new people through there and got to know them — hell, technically I met my wife there. I'd share pieces of writing I'd done, I'd talk about them with friends, it was enjoyable.
These days, it really does feel like shouting into a void sometimes. I make a point of sharing stuff that I've done that I think is interesting, enjoyable or otherwise of interest to the people who follow me, and there's just… silence. I'm not blaming anyone reading this, I hasten to add, because I know a significant number of you are great about sharing, commenting, talking about things — I'm simply talking more generally.
When I look at a tweet from someone sharing some vapid nonsense about nothing in particular and it gets thousands upon thousands of comments, likes, retweets and whatever, it's frustrating. I don't care so much about the numbers, since they're ultimately meaningless. But sometimes I kind of think it would just be nice to hear something as simple as a "hey, nice job", "that was interesting" or "I enjoyed that".
I know I'm not the only one who feels like this — at least one of you following me has commented something along similar lines before. It's just been weighing on my mind a bit recently; with how connected we all supposedly are in this day and age, it feels surprisingly difficult to actually, you know, connect with someone over something you've done.
Maybe I should just start a TikTok and shout at video game boxes or something.
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