I've been feeling crazy anxious for the last few days, so I've been deliberately stepping back from most forms of social media for a bit. It's one of those times where I feel like I'm not getting a ton from it, so all I'm doing is scheduling a bunch of posts for people to check out, and then not looking at it for the rest of the day. Seems to be working just fine to me.
I'm not sure what's triggered this latest bout of anxiety — but then as I've established over the years, there doesn't really need to be a "cause" as such. It's certainly not work, because I'm having a good time, people like me and I seem to be doing a job that pleases the people who are "above" me — I think it's just a general sense of stress about life in general, and things like Andie being ill recently. She thought she had COVID briefly, but thankfully a recent test came back negative, so we're in the clear.
I've not been sleeping well, which is part of the problem. Getting to sleep has always been difficult for me because I have a tendency to "ruminate", as the technical terminology has it. Lying in bed with your eyes shut trying not to think about anything, it turns out, is the absolute perfect time for your brain to think about absolutely everything at once and overwhelm you, rather than performing the desired shutdown sequence. I do tend to get to sleep eventually, but it often takes quite a long time — and as I think I've mentioned recently, I've been kind of beset by strange dreams in recent weeks. On the one hand, those dreams are quite interesting; on the other, they're not exactly conducive to good quality rest.
I'm hoping the whole "disconnecting" thing will help if I mantain it for a little while — presently I'm somewhat in the stage where I'm feeling a bit "lonely" for not looking at what everyone is up to, but hopefully that will pass. And people have various means of getting hold of me if they really need to.
On that note, it's time to attempt to get some rest again… tomorrow is Friday, so it's the end of another week, at least!
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