#oneaday Day 406: Ticklist

I've got a fair amount done during this week I've had off from the day job. Let me just take stock of things, so I can see it in black and white in front of myself, because I think I need to see it spelled out for me:

• Finished playing all the main routes in LAMUNATION! (just After Story left to go now)

• Wrote about Kamiko

• Wrote about Horizon Chase Turbo

• Wrote about My Big Sister

• Wrote about how much I love Katrielle Layton

• Wrote an in-depth article about one of LAMUNATION!'s narrative routes

• Published an Atari A to Z video on Viro-Mania

• Published an Atari ST A to Z video on Pengy

• Published a Warriors Wednesday Video

• Recorded and published a new Final Fantasy Marathon video

• Recorded four new episodes of Atari A to Z Flashback

• Recorded four new episodes of Atari ST A to Z

• Recorded four new episodes of Atari A to Z

That's a decent amount of stuff for a week's work, right? So why does my brain fixate on the things that I haven't done yet — the additional episodes of Warriors Wednesday and Final Fantasy Marathon that I want to get done, the voiceovers and footage I wanted to get sorted for some Fairune videos and some footage I wanted to record for some video versions of my Shade articles?

I mean, I still have two more full days before I have to go back to the daily grind of the day job. And yet I find myself wracked with increasing feelings of anxiety; that I somehow haven't made the maximum possible use of the time I had available to me.

It didn't help that I was ill at the beginning of the week, of course. And it doesn't help that I'm not enjoying the day job much at the moment, either. In fact, the prospect of going back is actually filling me with a feeling that is something akin to "dread", but I know I have to go back, because I have to pay bills and annoying adult shit like that. As much as I'd like every week to be like this week — perhaps without the "being ill" part — I am, sadly, a few thousand dollars a month short of that being possible.

I'm attending some sort of counselling… anxiety… thing tomorrow morning. It's a group session, which I'm not super-thrilled about, but I'm willing to give it a chance and see if it helps. The person I spoke to about it a while back seemed to think it was one of their more effective forms of treatment… but we'll see. I wonder if it will be treating the symptoms rather than the cause.

Oh well. Sorry for the incoherent ramble; the ol' noggin's just not in a very good place right now. Which is why I'm grateful for the opportunity to escape into, say, a ridiculous blue-sky soda-pop world filled with pretty girls and traditional fizzy drinks. Perhaps that's what I should spend the rest of the evening doing.