It was my birthday today! I'm 38. That's nearly 40, which I presume is an age by which you are supposed to have "grown up" somewhat, but I'm in no particular rush, nor do I feel any particular need to.
"Grown ups" are boring. Several of my local friends are "grown ups". They're always complaining about having to deal with their children, or their perpetually packed schedules and the fifteen holidays a year they seem to go on. And they rarely seem to have any fun. I say "rarely" rather than "never" because we do at least manage to get them to do things occasionally, but it's becoming an increasingly infrequent occurrence. In fact, one of these friends ducking out at the last minute made the difference between the weekend just gone being a quiet one and its originally intended purpose of lots of enjoyable group-based gaming. Oh well, at least Chris and I got a great podcast recorded instead!
So yeah. I may be a year older, but as with most recent years, I really don't feel it. Honestly I feel like mostly the same person I was at university, and that was nearly twenty years ago at this point. That is, I think, the most surreal part of the ageing process — things that feel like they are still in the recent past are now half your life or more away. I think this is why I struggle a bit with my friends being "grown ups" — the friends in question were the people I hung out with at university, so it remains difficult to adjust to a life in which we can't just do fun things on a whim at the drop of a hat. Well, I usually can, but I appear to be the exception.
I can't be too upset with getting older. Being a bit older has put me in a position where I am reasonably financially secure, and able to enjoy the things I love without guilt over spending money on them. This, in turn, allows me to enjoy those things in new and varied ways. MoeGamer and YouTube are two prime examples; besides technology and Internet speeds not being what they are now back when I was at university, I simply wouldn't have had the resources to be able to do what I do now. The fact I am able to is something I am grateful for.
And of course, I am grateful for your support and friendship. As I noted over on MoeGamer earlier today, this marks the fifth anniversary since the site's first post, and it's become an important part of my life ever since that day five years ago. And while I do still feel some bitterness and resentment from how my past career in games journalism was snatched from me without provocation or warning, had I remained part of the commercial press I would not have had anywhere near the freedom I have now to do what I do.
So here's to being a little bit older, not even a tiny bit wiser… and as independent as ever. Thanks for your support, and here's to many more years.
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