Well, here we are, a hundred consecutive days of my personal ramblings for your entertainment. Kind of, anyway. I know I had a few "accidents" along the way, but I do believe we're fully up to date right now.
It's been a… contemplative few days, to say the least, partly prompted by Biffo's post from yesterday and a subsequent video that he and his Digitiser compatriots put out today (Patron-exclusive for now, but it'll be public on Friday) on the subject of why they all do what they do.
I shan't spoil the entire contents of Biffo's video as I'd very much like it if you watched it on Friday, but a key point in the discussion was the use of creativity as a "coping mechanism". Specifically, creativity as a means of staving off mental health issues. Everyone involved in Digitiser had been touched by mental illness of one form or another to varying degrees, and every one of them had found solace in doing something that they love.
Needless to say, I can relate. And I've always been that way; I recognise that now, even though I only really became aware of what depression and anxiety even were when I went to university, and only got a formal diagnosis of Asperger's a couple of years back. I've always used creativity of one form or another as a means of staving off the darkness, be it writing game reviews and stories as a kid (some things never change), writing a diary, making music (both with real instruments and electronically), podcasting, blogging and, most recently, working on MoeGamer and YouTube.
However tiresome a day might be, however difficult it might be to deal with stresses and anxieties that the brain of someone like me amplifies about a thousand times from what they actually are… I always have that to look forward to. I always have things that I can do that I can look forward to. I always have something to write about, a video to publish. And that is something I think I will always have, regardless of whether or not anyone is reading it; regardless of whether or not anyone is supporting it via various means. (I am, of course, extremely grateful to those of you reading this, since it means that you do support it — so thank you, sincerely, from the bottom of my heart!)
I don't really have a point to make. I think I just wanted to reiterate to myself why I do what I do, and how it's quite nice to feel like I'm not the only person who works that way. Numbers can give a nice stroke to the old ego, but ultimately personal fulfilment is much more important.
Discover more from I'm Not Doctor Who
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
