#oneaday Day 466: In one's own home

As much as we enjoyed our holiday, it is also good to be back among our own things, with our cats, and sleeping in our own bed. Patti seems to have mostly forgiven us now, and I'm not entirely sure Oliver even noticed we were away. He's currently sitting outside in his catio chasing a moth. I don't think the little fella knows what it means to not be happy. It must be nice.

Getting up for work in the morning was, predictably, a bit of an ordeal, and I feel it's going to take a few days of adjustment before I feel well and truly "back" properly. I feel like whatever you do for a job, you'll inevitably come back to stories of things that have gone wrong while you were away, and a checklist of things that are Probably Going To Stress You Out By The End of the Week. Thankfully in this instance I don't think anything Earth-shatteringly awful has happened in my absence, but there were still a few entries on that list, because of course there are.

I have to feel for the folks who work somewhere like Center Parcs. After completing the survey they sent (I might win a free break! I probably won't.) I made the mistake of looking at their TripAdvisor page, and despite the site having an overall 4/5 rating, dear Lord were there a ton of people moaning and complaining. It's easy to see something like that and feel like something is very wrong, but I saw no real evidence of anything that the recent reviews have complained about, aside from part of the pool complex being closed for a couple of days at the start of our break. Mildly disappointing, yes, but the correct response to that — shit has to be maintained at some point! — is just to shrug and go do something else instead. It's not as if the whole pool was closed, and there is a lot to do in that pool complex.

But yeah. I can imagine being a Center Parcs employee, making the mistake of looking at that page and becoming thoroughly demoralised. I feel particularly bad for whatever chump is lumbered with the job of posting the "Thank you for sharing your helpful feedback, we're sorry your stay didn't live up to your expectations" responses, because I know just from doing a bit of social media gubbins for a product that ultimately doesn't really "matter" that people can be mean, and it is considered inappropriate to tell someone who is being mean to a customer service agent to fuck off.

Anyway. I am at least thankful that I have a job where when the end of the day rolls around, I can just switch off and ignore everything. For the most part, anyway; I still have to moderate chats around announcements and whatnot, and occasionally I will get asked to respond to someone kicking off about something or other. But for the most part, I can have a quiet life during non-business hours, and that's exactly how it should be. My "work" area is different from my "play" and "relaxation" area in my house, so once I get out of that chair and leave the work PC behind for the day, that's that — and that's especially important to do if you work from home, because the absolute worst thing that can happen is that your home stops feeling like it's a haven away from your job.

Everyone needs a haven away from their job. And that's what your home is supposed to be for!

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#oneaday Day 294: Microsoft Teams is where joy goes to die

Working from home is, on the whole, infinitely preferable to having to do a daily commute into an office to spend time with people I don't know very well or like all that much and attempt to find ways to look busy and/or enthusiastic about working on things I don't give a shit about. (To that I will also add: it is infinitely preferable to have a job you give a shit about, populated by people you like, which thankfully I have. I've paid my dues at shitty jobs full of shitty people.)

But there's one thing I have come to hate about working from home, and that is waking up of a morning and seeing Microsoft Teams notifications already waiting for me. It's my own fault, really, for allowing Teams onto my phone, but there are occasions when it's useful to be reachable when not sitting in front of the work computer, so there it is for now.

I hate Microsoft Teams. I don't really know why. It's not as if it's a completely broken, non-functional piece of software; by Microsoft's standards, it's reasonably not-bad, though like all their other modern pieces of software, it defies pretty much all interface standards which Microsoft set themselves with their own operating system, which continues to baffle me. Plus, as with everyfuckingthing else these days, "AI" is starting to creep into it with the ability to "add chatbots" to conversations.

I think it's just the utter joylessness of it as an application. It's a piece of software primarily designed for facilitating boring online meetings that only the person hosting them actually gives a shit about, and even with the inclusion of the ability to post GIFs in text chat (because, of course, what says "professional" more than copyright-infringing memes?) it just feels so incredibly po-faced at all times.

Now don't get me wrong, I don't want Teams to turn into Discord with its cutesy wutesy oopsy woopsy we made a fucky wucky update notices and gradual introduction of myriad stupid features no-one actually wants or needs. But it's also a program I just find depressing to open up.

And, as I say, I don't really 100% know why I feel that way. Functionally, it's inoffensive, if riddled with strange design decisions. Practically, it's useful for being able to converse with colleagues easily. And yet I still hate it. I hate its ability to intrude on things you're doing. I hate the fact people can just "call" you without you giving your consent. And, as I say, there are few things worse than waking up of a morning and seeing there are already a bajillion Teams notifications waiting for you.

Maybe I should just delete it from my phone and if people can't reach me until I'm at my computer, that's tough shit. I mean, that's no different from working in an office and no-one being able to reach me until I'm at my desk and within reach of my work phone, right?

Not that I ever answered my work phone when I actually had one in the few office jobs I've ever had, mind. Email or bust.

Anyway, I'm going to bed now. Notifications off!

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1659: Time Off

There's still nearly a month before I start my new job. With the job search over, this means that I am now being left largely to my own devices on a daily basis, which sounds like a dream come true, doesn't it?

It isn't.

Much like working from home isn't the wonderfully liberating experience you might think it would be, having a protracted amount of time to yourself with not a lot that you really "need" to do is not everything you might think it is, either. Days are long, boring and filled with vast tracts of nothingness, unless, of course, you find yourself something to occupy them with.

Most days, I'm pretty good at occupying myself. In the simplest cases, I'll simply play some games, watch some TV or read some stuff. Others, I might go out — maybe into town, or down to the gym, or just for a wander around outside. Others still, I might do things that "need" doing, like mowing the lawn or cleaning or tidying.

But there are days — today was one of them — where nothing feels like it's quite "right"; nothing feels like it will satisfy you. It's days like today that often see me sitting on the sofa staring into space for surprisingly lengthy periods of time, caught between desires, wants and needs, and never quite being able to muster up the energy or motivation to pursue any of them. Doing something I know I'll enjoy feels like a waste of time; doing something "productive" feels like it's an insurmountable challenge.

All this, of course, is a side-effect of depressive tendencies; it's not that I actually don't want to do anything, it's simply that, for whatever reason, my brain decides that it wants to be sad today, and the jumbled impulses the depressed brain fires out have a tendency to override everything else and prioritise that feeling of sadness. It's not sadness about anything in particular, it just is; it's just a frustratingly dark feeling from which it's difficult to escape, particularly if you're home alone, like I have been.

It's for this reason that I'm genuinely looking forward to starting work again — and genuinely looking forward to the fact that, for the first time in four years, I'll be working in a place where there are actual other living, breathing people with whom I might be able to interact on a daily basis. (Said interactions will, of course, be prone to my other big issue — that of social anxiety — but that's a bridge we'll cross when we get to it.) I'm looking forward to having the change of scenery each day — the chance to drive my new car and spend some time listening to the radio, music or podcasts; the opportunity to spend several hours away from the house; the pleasant feeling of "coming home" after a hard day's work — and of just, you know, doing something.

Tell that to my twentysomething self and he'd probably laugh in your face. But, frankly, life without work is not as fun as you might think it would be. (Well, it probably would be if you had more money than you'd ever know what to do with — though I imagine even that would get boring after a while.) Consequently, I find myself counting down the days until I become just another cog in the great machines of business — and genuinely looking forward to that day, rather than dreading it.

1319: The Fine Art of Working from Home Without Going Mental

The title of this post would probably suggest that I am something more of an authority on this subject than I actually am, but I do at least have the benefit of experience to draw from when talking about this.

Working from home may sound like an absolute dream come true, but it can be surprisingly challenging, particularly from a motivational perspective. I'm fortunate in that I like my job and enjoy doing it; if I was doing something less enjoyable like, say, the audio typing for insurance companies that I did for one dark summer, I'd probably be feeling less positive about things.

That's not to say that even with a job you enjoy, working from home isn't fraught with distractions from all angles, ranging from something as simple as a desire to go and get yet another coffee to the myriad procrastination tools The Internet offers.

I think the most difficult thing to deal with, though, is the fact that there's no-one else around. I'm not a particularly "social" person, as you know, and struggle with small talk, especially with people I don't know all that well. However, that's not to say that I don't necessarily enjoy company; on the few occasions I've been down to the Eurogamer offices in Brighton, I've enjoyed being around other people doing the same things I'm doing, even if most of them spent most of the day with headphones on, immersed in their own work. It was nice to just be around others, and to be able to jump in to occasional conversations.

In order to counter the loneliness thing, I often make a point of going out, even if it's just to the local coffee shop. (I've been there so often now that the staff recognise me, though I've stymied their attempts to pigeon-hole me with a "usual" by regularly ordering different drinks.) I find that it's quite pleasant to change environment and do some work with other people around, even if I don't have anything to do with them directly. There's just a nice atmosphere; a sense of comfort, of not being alone. Weird, I know, but true.

It's not an ideal situation, of course — it's over half a mile of walking to get to said coffee shop, and then when I'm there I'm expected to, you know, actually buy something, which costs money, but eh. I can take the rough with the smooth.

Perhaps what I should actually do is open up a coffee shop in my living room so there can be people milling around at all times while I do my work. But that sounds like an awful lot of effort, frankly.

Eh. There's no easy answer, and I'm not sure I'm even looking for an "answer" — I think, on balance, I'd rather be doing what I'm doing from home than feeling my life slowly being sucked out of me by a traditional office job.

I'll leave you with this Mitchell & Webb sketch, which pretty much sums things up rather nicely.

#oneaday Day 955: Ten Signs You've Been Working From Home for Too Long

I've been working from home ever since I decided that teaching was Not The Career For Me, and I like it a lot. I never really enjoyed the office environment of "traditional" jobs, and in the time-sensitive environment of a school you never have a moment to sit back and relax or, as is more commonly needed, sit with your head in your hands crying profusely. Freelancing affords one the luxury of flexibility at the expense of security, though I've been pretty lucky in my last couple of gigs to find myself with stable, predictable income each month. Okay, I had almost a year where I was pulling in a couple of hundred dollars a month and sometimes nothing at all. But things are, touch wood, now Going Well.

Working from home comes with its own pitfalls, however. Naturally, I haven't fallen prey to any of what I am about to describe; this post simply serves as a warning to those of you made of less stern stuff than I am.

Without further messing around, then, let's jump right into ten things that might make you feel like getting a "real" job might not be such a terrible idea after all.

You stop dressing for success. Or indeed at all.

If you can work in your pants, there's absolutely no reason whatsoever to get dressed in order to do your work, right? Well, no, unless you're participating in some sort of webcam conference, and even then you only really need to be "all business" up top.

Still, specifically getting dressed — even if it's only throwing on a stinky t-shirt — helps get you in the mindset that Now Is Work Time. You can always take your trousers off again later.

Having a poo with the door open becomes default behaviour.

You might think that settling down for a long dump while leaving the door open so you can still hear your music/see the TV is a great idea if there's no-one in the house. And indeed it is one of life's great pleasures to do so.

But when this becomes default behaviour — when you start leaving the door open even for music you don't really like or for, say X-Factor on TV, then you may have a problem.

To rid yourself of this issue, reach an agreement with your partner/housemate/parents (delete as applicable) that at least once per week, they will come home at an unexpected time. You'll soon learn to be ashamed of your body and the things it does again.

Every time you see the postman, he apologises for waking you.

Related to the first point above, if you answer the door to the postman in a dressing gown, he will probably assume he has woken you, even if it's lunchtime. Avoid this misunderstanding by putting some clothes on before answering the door.

If you are worried that you won't be able to dress yourself before he puts one of those "sorry we missed you" cards through the door, keep a cache of "emergency clothes" handy near the door that are easy to put on — tracksuit bottoms and some sort of zip-up jacket or shirt are a good idea. They don't have to match.

Your masturbation-to-work ratio gets rather lop-sided.

If you're spending more time wanking than doing something useful, you aren't working hard enough. Very simple.

Coffee consumption goes through the roof.

If you're getting through a packet/tin/jar of coffee in less than a week, you're probably drinking too much. I know you need to stay on top of your game and churn out those 15,000 words you promised by yesterday, but man, seriously. Imbibing so much caffeine that you can feel your heart going "OH MY GOD STOP STOP NOW" is not the way forward.

You start exhibiting behaviours typically reserved for the clinically insane.

Are you walking around your house mumbling obscenities over and over again because they "sound funny"? Are you dancing naked to the theme tune of your favourite TV show? Do you spend hours staring at a wall in the hope it will do something interesting? You need to get a proper job before the wall does start doing something interesting and you start having conversations with yourself.

You start experimenting with cheese on toast.

Cheese on toast is a simple and effective meal. The moment you start fucking around with it, though, you're on a downward spiral. As soon as you start carefully layering various luncheon meats beneath the cheese, then seasoning with cajun spice mix and drawing aesthetically-pleasing patterns in tomato ketchup on top, it's time to go and work somewhere with a proper canteen.

Actually, scratch that one. Deluxe cheese on toast is awesome.

You get really good at Countdown.

If you have reached a stage where you're really good at both the letters and the numbers rounds of Countdown, you really need to get out and get a job. Possibly in Accounts. Or the Conundrum Department.

Your attention span diminishes.

You start some sort of creative project such as a list of ten signs you've been working from home for too long and then lo