Speaking with YouTuber Cheeky Pint, OpenAI's CEO Sam Altman said that "from a global allocation perspective, actually, it's quite terrible to have everybody have a bunch of the world's limited supply of DRAM sitting in their own computer, and being used maybe 5% of the time. Like, you want maximum utilisation in the cloud if you're trying to deal with this very supply constrained environment. And somehow many people's intuition is the opposite of that."
In response — and I appreciate I am a nobody, and that Clammy Sammy will never see this — I say the following.
Fuck you, Sam Altman. Fuck you five ways to Sunday. Fuck you for ruining the exciting world of tech with your garbage hallucinating "AI can make mistakes" chatbots, which is all that fucking tech seems to be now. Fuck you for ruining the world of creativity with your slop-peddling six-fingered piss-filter image models. Fuck you for ruining the world of music by stealing the world's compositions and allowing people with no taste to churn out song-shaped objects and claim they are being creative. Fuck you for ruining the world of writing with your cliché-spouting text generation models. Fuck you for taking the em-dash, the rule of threes and rhetorical questions from writers, who now cannot use any of those things without being accused of "being AI".
Fuck you for making my day job harder with your cuntish technology driving up not just RAM prices, but all tech prices. Yes, that's right, fuck you for being the one who fucking created this "supply constrained environment" that no-one asked for, and which didn't need to happen. Fuck you for your greed and avarice making it a thousand times harder for us to bring simple joy to people through the things we make. Fuck you for making it so there is so much distrust in the space we work in. Fuck you for the times we have had to fend off harassment and threats because some cunt we worked with used your garbage tech without telling us.
Fuck you for ruining my hobbies. Fuck you for even suggesting that people should not own and enjoy their own computer. Fuck you for corrupting a space that was once devoted to the joy of celebrating the past and learning from it with slopped-up, barely functional projects that no-one in their right mind will ever want to maintain. Fuck you for discouraging the people who still want to do things using their brain. Fuck you for the million and one arguments that have erupted in social media replies, comments sections, Discord servers, WhatsApp groups and forums over this useless garbage, thanks to the army of sycophants queueing up to fellate your robo-cock in exchange for seemingly no discernible benefit whatsoever. Fuck you for making it so I can't be excited about a new announcement of anything any more without checking to see whether or not it's been churned out by the slop machine.
Fuck you for what you've done to the world. Fuck you for the cognitive surrender you have triggered, the AI psychosis you've nurtured and the people you've killed with your irresponsible garbage technology. Fuck you for the mistrust you've sown, the ticking time bomb you have made the economy, the wedges you've driven between groups of friends, families and those with common interests. Fuck you for making everything more expensive. Fuck you for depriving people of joy. Fuck you for your self-important arrogance in thinking you — you! a massive cunt! — are the one to lead humanity to a better tomorrow.
Fuck you, Sam Altman. I hope an entire data centre falls on your stupid face, and that everyone who has been saving old RAM sticks "just in case" takes a moment to jam them right up your fucking arse if you're so desperate for them.
Also, Wario Amodei, Jensen Huang, Satya Nadella, Sundar Pichai and everyone else who has made 2020-2026 what it has been so far? Fuck you for all the above, too. History will hold you accountable for the damage you have done to our world, and to humanity as a whole.
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