Patrick Stewart has passed away at the age of 86. This one really, really hurts, so I thought I'd talk a bit about that today, since as I type this, the news has pretty much literally just broken.
Patrick Stewart is one of those actors who, once you had let him into your life in any way, remained in your heart constantly. His warmth, the depth of the characterisation he brought to his roles, and the way he always just seemed to be a generally affable sort of person; he was that unique breed of individual where you felt like he was a far-off friend, even if you'd never met him.
Like most people, I first became aware of him through Star Trek: The Next Generation. Watching this was something of a ritual in my household growing up, because BBC2 constantly showed episodes of it (usually out of order) at 6pm, which was around the time we were usually settling down to have some dinner in the kitchen. We'd pop the little TV in the corner of the room on, eat our food and spend some quality family time together enjoying the show — often lightly poking fun at aspects of it. My Dad always made a joke of how he found it frustrating that every episode they "cheated" — his way of referring to the series' iconic "technobabble" — but it was just a light-hearted jab; we all loved that show, and it brought us together.
I think in some respects Patrick Stewart's depiction of Captain Jean-Luc Picard resonated so deeply with me because, in many ways, he reminded me of my Dad. Not in terms of looks or being a space captain or anything, but there was just sort of something about Picard's manner which always, in a strangely ill-definable way, reminded me of my father. I can't really explain it. It was just sort of a feeling. And, if anything, I became more aware (or conscious, I should perhaps say) of this in relatively recent years. Make no mistake, though; Picard was Space Dad.
I think part of the reason why Stewart's passing has hit me so deeply — and this is a difficult thing to contemplate, let alone write about, so forgive me, but now is the time if ever there was one — is because I am keenly aware that my real, actual, non-Space parents aren't getting any younger, and there is going to be a time at some point in the future where I will have to come to terms with a world where they aren't there any more. It's not something anybody ever wants to have to think about, it's something that I hope isn't going to happen any time soon, and it's something that, to be perfectly honest, terrifies me. But when someone like Patrick Stewart passes on, one can't help but contemplate questions of mortality, for one's own self, and for the ones close to you.
He was a presence that, in some strange way, I think we all thought would always be present in our lives, somehow, and I guess he still is, thanks to his magnificent body of work. But the world is a bleaker, darker place without our Captain, and it feels like all the "good ones" are being taken from us unjustly, while the one octogenarian that everyone really wants to keel over dead just keeps on chugging along, shitting his pants and dribbling the product all over the world.
But let's not sully the memory of a great man with frustration and anger at a creature who is the exact opposite. Instead, I suggest you raise a glass, bellow "THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS" at your cat and salute the finest Captain — no, the finest role model — that Starfleet ever gave us… and a man who, in our world, we can honestly say that everyone is going to mourn the loss of.
Farewell, mon capitaine. May you find peace beyond the stars.
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