Tag: oneaday

#oneaday Day 149: Tomorrow I May Be Dead

Ominous title, I know. But given that I'm running a 10K tomorrow, it's entirely possible it might be true. Okay, it probably won't be true. But it's an eye-catching title if nothing else.

So yes. Let me start again. Tomorrow I am running the Bupa 10K in London in aid of Mind, a mental health charity that some friends and I decided to represent back towards the beginning of the year. So far I've raised £150.01 (thanks to Generous Sam for the extra penny) and hope that a few of you will be feeling generous in the next few hours. It'd be cool to get the total over £200 before I finish tomorrow. That'd be nice. If you'd like to sponsor me, go ahead.

I'm a little worried about the run itself, to be honest. Pacific time-friendly working hours have played havoc with the training regime I got myself into at the start of the year, and I haven't had nearly as much practice of going the whole distance as I hoped I would have by now. Still, I have done it a few times, so I know that I'm capable of it. It's just going to be a case of pacing myself and making sure that I keep pushing on regardless — the only difference will be the fact I have a magic chip on my shoe to reveal my embarrassing time to the world when I do eventually wheeze over the finish line.

But hey. If I do manage to complete it, that'll be a pretty big accomplishment. A long run and a healthy amount of money raised for charity. Not bad at all for a Bank Holiday Monday's work.

Beyond that, I couldn't say what's next. It would make sense to find something else to "aim" for, either personally, professionally, physically or all three. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it, though. For now, I just have to survive 10km of the London streets without collapsing and dying. Easier said than done, and if there's no Day 150, you'll know that I've bought it.

Positivity! Chances are, though, that I won't be dead and tomorrow evening there will be a Day 150 explaining politely that I am absolutely knackered and hope I never have to go through anything like that ever again. Or perhaps I'll be high on endorphins and writing complete nonsense. (No change there, then.)

Either way, I'm going to plug my sponsorship page again. If you have a few quid (or a lot of quid) to spare, then dig deep and chuck me and Mind some cash. Where? Right here.

#oneaday Day 148: People, The Mutant's Pursuing Me!

It's been a very long time since a game has genuinely gobsmacked me with its obvious technological marvellousness, but The Witcher 2 has gone and done a sterling job of it so far. I beat the first game this morning and enjoyed it so much I wanted to go straight on to the sequel, which I'd had the foresight to download in advance from Good Old Games.

I wasn't quite ready for the leap in graphical fidelity between the two. I thought the first game looked pretty good — it used to bring my old computer to its knees, after all, and it was one of the first games I installed on my new computer to enjoy in its "full glory" — but wow. The Witcher 2 makes its predecessor look decidedly primitive in many respects.

Gone are the stilted, uncomfortable character animations when people are standing around talking to each other. Gone are people's inability to remain seated while talking to you. Gone are the sex cards (replaced with good, old fashioned full frontal nudity — are you paying attention, BioWare?) and gone is the fun but arguably overcomplicated combat system. (Also gone are some of the original voice cast, which is a little disappointing, but perhaps understandable given the amount of time between the two games.)

In is a decidely cinematic presentation (including an entertaining ability to wiggle the camera around veeery slightly using the mouse in conversation scenes, giving it a "hand-held camera" look). In are more than five different character models. In is background scenery featuring realistic foliage best described as "lush". In is a motion blur effect that makes rotating the camera look infinitely more realistic than in 99% of other games out there. And in is a Demon's Souls-style combat system that at first appears to be hack and slash, but isn't afraid to punish you mercilessly for thinking so until you learn that it's actually based on timing, patience, blocking and carefully watching your opponents to look for an opportunity. A combat system which has divided people somewhat, with many impatient types upset that it's "too hard". Hard it may be, but there's nothing wrong with a challenge.

One of the things that has impressed me most so far, though, is the potential for the branching of the plot, with different resolutions to problems and different major and minor choices. Already in discussion with a friend, I've seen that at least four or five parts of just the prologue branch off into alternative paths — some of which meet in common places, others of which diverge. And, like the original The Witcher, there's no obviously "right" choice in many situations. This is a Good Thing, as it makes you think about what you're doing, and also forces you to live with consequences which don't necessarily make themselves obvious until much, much later.

In short, The Witcher 2 is looking like being an absolutely amazing game. A lot of people have been quietly anticipating it for a long time — this is a game from a company that doesn't saturate the market with announcements of TV ads for their games, after all — and it's gratifying to see firstly that they've made an excellent game, and secondly that a lot of people seem to be thinking very highly of it. It deserves it, and CD Projekt Red deserves a huge amount of success for creating such an excellent RPG franchise.

#oneaday Day 146: Eve of Something

I have a job interview tomorrow — the first one for a while. Okay, granted, I haven't been looking for a while due to the fact that I've been enjoying the freelance work I've been doing, but the position in question (which I won't discuss for now for fear of jinxing it) is one that would be pretty much ideally suited for me, given my background, skills and indeed what I'm doing right now. As such, I'm looking forward to it.

The whole recruitment process is, a lot of the time, very artificial. I recall one time when I happened to catch a glimpse of a letter that someone had written to the place I was working at the time, asking if there were any jobs available. The language used throughout was all very flowery and took in pretty much every application cliché that there was along the way. Said applicant was "confident" and "enthusiastic" and I'm pretty sure she was "passionate" too. I'm not sure if she was a "talented generalist" (apparently that was the fashionable thing to be a little while back, I'm not sure if it still is) but she probably had plenty in the way of "transferable skills" and "relished" the "opportunity" on offer.

I mock, but I'm pretty sure everyone is guilty of it at times. But where does all that language come from? I remember sessions in English Language classes at school dealing with "formal letter writing", but that mostly focused on layout and ensuring you put the correct "Yours faithfully/sincerely" at the bottom of a letter — a practice which seems to have fallen by the wayside in the age of the email, incidentally. I don't remember classes teaching you buzzwords that you should use in job applications.

Perhaps that's where school career advice is going wrong, though. I remember the whole Careers Week thing, where you took that questionnaire and you laughed when the kids of questionable intellect got "shepherd" and "chimney sweep" suggested as potential career paths for them. But I don't remember getting any particularly useful advice out of them, barring thinking that I wanted to do something involving writing, even then. And I didn't need a Careers Week to know that — I had already pretty much figured it out.

Of course, it's not that easy, and your life follows paths that you might not have predicted along the way. Is it chance? Fate? Destiny? Or is it the result of free will and conscious decisions that you make? Either way, it's often fairly unlikely you find yourself doing exactly what you'd imagined you'd be doing straight away. You might get there in the end, but there seems to be an awful lot of "paying your dues" along the way initially — unless you're one of the very lucky ones, of course.

Well, I think I've paid my dues by now. It's time for awesome things to happen. Bring it on, tomorrow.

#oneaday Day 144: Superinjunctivitis

I'm not going to pretend to know everything about this footballer/slag business that is all over the news at the minute, and I'm not particularly concerned about said footballer's hilarious attempt to sue Twitter over supposedly breaking his precious superinjunction, because that's like someone suing a sword manufacturer because their hand got cut off by an insane nutter with a sword.

The question that this sort of thing always raises in my mind, though, is "who the bloody hell cares?" This whole situation wouldn't have come about without the public's incessant need for celebrity gossip — vapid nonsense about whatever [insert celebrity first name here so it sounds like you know them] is wearing this week, or whether [insert different celebrity first name here] is going to the shops on Tuesday or Wednesday this week.

A footballer shagged someone who wasn't his wife. Allegedly. This is not news. We all know that footballers are Neanderthal morons who should probably be fitted with chastity belts, so frequently do their dicks turn up in unauthorised places. We also know that anyone who appeared on Big Brother is probably not averse to the idea of selling their story, however vapid and pointless, to the "newspapers" in a desperate attempt to cling on to a bit of their waning fame. Even if said story is "Hey! I shagged a married man! I'm a massive slag!"

It's pissing in the wind, of course, but I really wish that the world could move on from the obsession it seems to have with every little thing that every celebrity, whatever they might be famous for, is up to. People who read Heat magazine need to wake up to the fact that they probably aren't going to ever meet, let alone be friends with whoever is this week's hotness.

You could argue it's escapism. Perhaps true — but why not read a work of fiction instead? Why the need to pry into the private lives of people? I guess it gives people who like to hide in bushes a means of being gainfully employed rather than arrested, but it still strikes me as incredibly obnoxious.

I follow a few celebrities on Twitter and make an effort to watch certain people when they come on TV. But that's it. I have no desire to snoop into their private lives and I certainly don't give a shit who they may or may not be having sex with. That's their business, whether it's an extramarital affair or not. Their life in the public eye should be limited to whatever it is they're famous for, then they should be left alone to deal with their problems in privacy, not subjected to endless flashbulbs.

Of course, I could (and should) just ignore it all. But when some twat who can't keep his pecker in his pants starts taking aim at a service I use every single day for both personal and professional reasons — as an indirect result of our culture's obsession with celebrities? Fuck that. I think I have every right to be pissed off.

So, Ryan Giggs. Kindly stop being a dick. Everyone knows where your penis has been by now, so trying to fight for your right to "privacy" actually strikes me as nothing more than attention-seeking, ironically.

#oneaday Day 143: Music Monday: Unfair Reviews Edition

It's been a while since I went through the top songs on Spotify, so I think it's about time we rectified that right now. I'm going to do it with a twist this time, though. Since it's been so long since I listened to the radio or watched any kind of TV with modern pop-type rhythm music in attendance, I'm sure there's a lot of stuff out there that I've never heard before. So I'm going to completely subjectively go off my gut instincts after no more than 30 seconds of each song. I am also going to use no more than three words to discuss each song. And I'm going to sample 23 songs, just to be completely arbitrary. What could possibly go wrong?

From the top, then — I'm using the UK Top Tracks list in Spotify for this. Here goes nothing.

The Lazy Song – Bruno Mars

Bit Jack Johnson.

Party Rock Anthem – LMFAO

Not rock. Crap.

Give Me Everything – Pitbull feat. Ne-Yo, Afrojack & Nayer

Whiny dudes. Synth.

Judas – Lady Gaga

Jude. Arse. Judah-arse-ga-ga.

Beautiful People – Chris Brown feat. Benny Benassi

Dance eJay synth.

Where Them Girls At (Feat. Nicki Minaj & Flo Rida)

Awful. Just awful.

Rolling in the Deep – Adele

Stomp. Stomp. Stomp.

On the Floor – Jennifer Lopez

90s dance nightmare.

Sweat – Snoop Dogg vs. David Guetta

Autotuned single note.

I Need A Dollar – Aloe Blacc

Band costs more.

Buzzin Remix – Explicit Version – Mann

Shut up, Fiddy.

Born This Way – Lady Gaga

Sinister opening. Cheesy.

All Of The Lights – Kanye West

Terrible video. Pretentious.

Just Can't Get Enough – Black Eyed Peas

Please stop autotuning.

The Edge of Glory – Lady Gaga

Racing game start.

Price Tag – Jessie J

Moderately catchy. Kinda.

Skinny Love – Birdy

Nice piano opening.

Make You Feel My Love (album) – Adele

Bit Norah Jonesish.

E.T. (feat. Kanye West) – Katy Perry

Babbling autotuned twat.

E.T. – Katy Perry

Infinitely superior version.

Guilt – Radio Edit – Nero

Song for club.

I Need A Doctor – Dr. Dre

Nice opening. SHOUTING.

Grenade – Bruno Mars

Deceptive title. Whiny.

There we go, then. If, for whatever reason, you want to listen to all this garbage, then feel free to load up this playlist into Spotify.

#oneaday Day 142: StarCraft: The Board Game (Part 2)

[Compromise: Have decided on a new format. Weekends will have individual pictures like what I used to do. That way I can do them in Paint if I'm away from my Mac.]

So we finally got through a complete game of StarCraft: The Board Game. And after a bit of initial confusion over a few rules-related bits and pieces, the three of us found ourselves understanding the way things worked quite well. It'll probably take a few more games for us to be able to strategise with any real effectiveness, but for a first game, we didn't do too badly — and more importantly, it didn't last for six hours like we were expecting it to. In fact, due to the "Special Victory" conditions, the whole thing ended up being over a little quicker than we anticipated. No bad thing — it means that it doesn't go into that pile of "games that are good but take hours and hours to play" and will hopefully be trotted out relatively often.

It's an interesting game, really, with elements of Risk and Civilization present. There's empire and unit building, conquering opponent territories, researching technologies, and an interesting card-based combat mechanic that gives something of an element of chance without making it completely random. There's also a very wide array of possibilities for things to do, and this coupled with the randomly-generated game board will make for a game which is unlikely to be the same twice in a row.

Things we have learned so far, then:

  • If someone has a Z-Axis Navigation Route (or "warpgate" as we kept calling them) linking to one of their own planets from one of their own planets, you'd better assault them sooner rather than later, otherwise you'll find them building up an unassailable fortress.
  • Building the Air Support module which, among other things, prevents people from landing troops directly on your base, is an expensive investment that is very worthwhile as it makes life quite inconvenient for invading armies.
  • Ultralisks are tough.
  • Archons are tougher, especially if they have some fortunate combinations of Reinforcement and Event cards.
  • Obstructing another player's orders isn't necessarily a good course of action, because it lets them draw Event Cards, which are quite powerful and also act as the game clock.
  • Knock people off Conquest Point spaces as soon as possible rather than trying to do something clever like cut off someone's supply line. If someone has captured conquest point spaces worth a total of 3, it takes them just 5 turns to win.
  • Attacking is better than defending to quite a significant degree, so it pays to go on the offensive.
  • Force-mining someone's resources then retreating is a petty and amusing way to wreak revenge without destroying your own units.

I'm looking forward to trying the game again soon. It was a lot of fun and despite its apparent complexity (this is a game that easily takes up all of a large table with board, figures, cards and lots of chits) it's relatively straightforward to play once you get how the rules work. Approve, then!

#oneaday Day 141: StarCraft: The Board Game (Part 1)

[I'm away for the weekend so am away from comic-making tools. I could use Windows Paint, but I'm not going to. So there.]

We tried StarCraft: The Board Game for the first time tonight. My brother got it for me for my birthday back in April and I know he has been quite curious to hear about it, and I've been pretty interested to see how it plays, too.

Tonight, we spent a little while going through the basic rules and figuring out how everything works, but didn't play a complete game. As is our norm for starting a brand new game — especially a complex one — it took us quite a while to get through even a single turn, so we decided it would probably make sense to treat tonight's session as a learning experience, then have a proper game of it tomorrow.

As with many games, the rules initially seem quite complex but once you get them figured out, it's fairly straightforward. Turns are split into three phases — planning, execution and regrouping. Planning involves every player assigning orders to the game's planets, and these orders can either be "mobilise" (move units either between areas on one planet or from one planet to another, assuming you've built a transport covering the necessary navigation lanes first), "build" (build stuff, be this new bases, units, workers or upgrades) or "research" (acquire new tech and/or provide yourself with additional options should combat become a possibility). Execution involves taking it in turns to make these orders happen — but the order in which the, err, orders were laid down on the board is important here, as it's possible for players' orders to "obstruct" each other at times. Finally, regrouping involves "cleaning up" everything, making sure everyone has the right resources, and so on. Then you repeat. In theory, it's relatively simple. In practice, there are a lot of variables to consider.

For starters, there's combat. Combat is resolved through the use of cards which display two different attack and health values, along with a picture of one or more units. If the unit you're using matches the one on the card you're using, you use the higher attack and health values. If it doesn't, you use the lower ones. Then there's all manner of special abilities along with technologies that reinforce and upgrade your units to be more badass. It'll take a while to figure out all the possibilities, but it looks like there's lots of potential for strategic play with enough randomness to keep things interesting. Which is nice.

Anyway. It's about 2:20am right now so I should get some sleep. We'll be trying a full game tomorrow, so I'll report back on how that goes tomorrow evening.

#oneaday Day 140: 21st Century Boy

It's the 21st century. If you grew up in the 20th century like I did, this means that you're officially In The Future, because saying "21st century" sounded like it was a very long way off and not, as it happened, just around the corner.

Since we're officially In The Future, I think there's more than a few pieces of technology that we should probably have mastered by now. And I'm not going to say "hoverboards" because "hoverboards" would be rubbish. I can barely stay upright on a skateboard, and certainly not on rollerskates, so why the fuck would I want to remove the wheels and stand on a sheet of plastic floating in mid-air? No. Fuck hoverboards, and sort this lot out instead:

Pay-and-display machines that don't give change or accept card payments

Seriously. We're living in a digital society where you can pay for things by swiping your phone in front of terminals and yet when you park your car you still need exact change to purchase a ticket? Balls. Fix it.

Computers that don't tell you what the problem is

"An unexpected error has occurred." As opposed to an expected error? WHAT WENT WRONG? And no, I don't want to know the hexadecimal address of the piece of memory where something went wrong because I didn't write the program. I want something in plain English. "Your graphics card is buggered," for example, or "Your hard drive is too full for this program to work effectively."

Microwaves that have a power rating somewhere in between the ratings listed on a packet of food

The microwave here is 800W. Food packaging lists cooking times for 650W, 750W and 850W. Is it too much to ask for microwave manufacturers and those who package food to co-operate a little bit?

Clocks that don't auto-adjust to British Summer Time/Daylight Saving Time/Uzbekistan Testicle Appreciation Time

Changing the clocks is an annoying rigmarole anyway, and when some of the devices in your house do it automatically and others don't, it's a pain in the arse to figure out which is which.

Tiny things that you can't find

Everything should have a phone number or GPS tracking, meaning if you lose your keys, you should be able to phone them and locate them.

Companies who will let you sign up online but require you to phone them to cancel

I'm looking at you, LoveFilm. You were deliciously easy to sign up for, yet cancelling required me to speak to some indecipherable person on a bad line and explain to them that no, I had phoned to cancel so no, I don't want to extend my service or give them my payment information. Let me cancel online. I don't want to speak to other human beings on the phone. I hate the phone.

Companies who insist that all correspondence must be done through the mail

And I'm talking about the paper mail that comes through your letterbox. In this digital world, there's no real excuse for this any more. And while we're on…

Companies who take a week to respond to an email

"We will get back to you within 7 days." Probably with the wrong answer. It takes a few seconds to Google the question I had or to ask the person sitting behind you, to type in your response and to hit Send. Even if you have other people to deal with in the queue in front of me, I doubt it takes a week.

Erm. This may have become a bit more ranty than I intended. Oh well. We're living in the future. These things should be sorted by now. So fix them, world!

#oneaday Day 139: Tr-Tr-TrackMania

Those who have — ooh. Hold on. [gets momentarily distracted by the new WordPress interface that has apparently launched today.] Pretty.

Ahem. What was I saying?

Oh yes. Those who have known me for a while will know all about my love affair with Trackmania United Forever Star Edition, née Trackmania United Forever, née Trackmania United. And indeed my Steam usage statistics would seem to back this up — with 24 hours' playtime recorded on it, and nothing else close. Granted, Steam doesn't seem to have tracked my playtime on quite a few games I know I've played through to completion, but 24 hours on a silly driving game is pretty substantial, and it just doesn't get old.

Yes, it's unpolished. Yes, certain aspects of it are inaccessible. Yes, it doesn't tell you about a good 95% of the possibilities it offers anywhere in the documentation — but somehow, despite all this, a huge, dedicated community has sprung up around the game and has been supporting it and driving it forward ever since its release. So much so, in fact, that it's spawning a proper, bona fide sequel, along with two exciting-sounding companion games.

TrackMania 2 Canyon looks like it will be a lot of fun from what I've seen so far — though the Canyon subtitle does make me wonder if it'll have the variety of environments and vehicles that United offers, but it's the other two ManiaPlanet games that intrigue me more, if anything. The possibilities on offer in ShootMania and QuestMania, offering the facility to create FPS levels and RPG games respectively, are potentially limitless. And while little has been revealed about how — and if — the three games will interact, the fact that they share a common community portal in the form of ManiaPlanet is immensely intriguing and offers some very exciting possibilities for those, like me, who are interested in game design but whose experience with building tools is limited to Lego, Scalextric and the Wolfenstein 3D map editor. (I remember trying to make a Duke Nukem 3D level once. That didn't end well, much like several efforts to make a Doom level work in any shape or form. And those games weren't even proper 3D. I like tiles. Tiles are good.)

For those who have never experienced the joy of TrackMania, it's worth remembering that the game's probably most oft-used environment — the stadium — is available as a completely free game to download, with a significant amount of content and the ability to make your own tracks as well as play online. It's not often you see that sort of generosity from a developer offering what is essentially a "demo", but there you go. Steam users? Knock yourself out.

Okay. That's enough TrackMania ranting for this year. See you next year.

So I'll see you on the loop-the-looped circuits, no?

#oneaday Day 138: Time Ticking Away

It should be abundantly apparent to most people by now that time is not a static thing and it moves at different rates according to what you are doing. The expression "time flies when you're having fun" is absolutely true, but so, too, is the lesser-known "time crawls when you're in a German lesson."

So, without further ado, I present Two Lists Of Things That Make Time Go Faster And Slower Respectively.

A List Of Things That Make Time Go Faster

  • Having fun
  • Spending time with people you really like or love
  • Playing Arkham Horror
  • Playing Final Fantasy
  • Watching an awesome TV series on DVD
  • Sitting on the toilet whilst armed with an iPhone, book or magazine
  • Reading TV Tropes
  • Listening to an album… a good one, obviously
  • Going out for a "quick walk"
  • Going to the cinema
  • Clicking your heels together three times and reciting the lyrics to "Firestarter" backwards (I may have made that one up)
  • Being busy
  • Wanting to not be busy
  • Having something you want to say to someone stuck in your head, but not quite being able to say it.

A List Of Things That Make Time Go Slower

  • Staff meetings
  • Staff meetings in stuffy rooms (double effect)
  • German lessons
  • German lessons in stuffy rooms (see above)
  • Sitting on the toilet without any reading/play material
  • Listening to a boring person giving a speech
  • Boiling some water for pasta
  • Cooking something awesome
  • Going out somewhere you don't really want to be
  • Hanging out with people you don't really like
  • Working on something really, really dull
  • Being on the phone to someone you really don't want to be on the phone to
  • Sending a text message to someone and you not being able to predict the reaction
  • Waiting for a phone call regarding a job interview
  • Watching a movie that is more than 2 hours long

There are, of course, plenty more. But it's late and I've been working all day. Why not share some of your ideas in the comments? Oh go on. It'll be fun, like social media.