Tag: grump

#oneaday Day 829: The hotel after the holiday

As promised, I am coming to you live from The Broadway Hotel, Letchworth, where I am staying overnight ahead of a Work Thing that I don't think anyone in their right mind is looking forward to.

I am tired, I am grumpy, my back hurts and I just want to be at home in my own bed with my cats, but instead here I am in another hotel room, the same day I returned from holiday, trying to get comfortable on a bed that is weirdly high off the ground.

Still, at least I was fortunate enough to get a room with a bath this time, so I enjoyed a mildly indulgent soak earlier, which was nice. The hotel baths are nicer than our bath at home, so I usually take the opportunity to use them if I have one. Unfortunately not all the rooms have them, so I can never guarantee this will be the case — and the shower-only rooms here appear to have been designed by someone whose understanding of spatial awareness is somewhat different from what one might call "the norm", shall we say.

Also I smelled pretty bad, so I was glad to be able to properly wash off the stench of packing up, going swimming, having lunch, driving home, placating the cats, packing up again then driving for three hours.

Were it not for the last bit, our last official day of holiday would have been very pleasant. We got up in plenty of time to pack up and vacate the lodge ahead of our 10am departure time, but we thought we'd hang around for a little bit before leaving. You're technically allowed to stay until midnight on the day of your departure, you just can't have your accommodation after 10am.

We kicked off our morning of being in limbo between vacating the lodge and leaving the site with a swim. I have been doing a lot of swimming on this holiday, and my aching body today reminded me of this fact, so we took it prettt easy, just having a casual splash around in the main pool, a few times around the slow river and a session in the wave machine.

After that we did something we haven't done before: we thought we'd have a nice meal out at one of the restaurants as a final farewell. We picked Bella Italia, which I know isn't super exciting, but Andie had been working on the assumption that "it's just pasta, which you might as well do at home" until I convinced her to look at the menu and she discovered they do a bunch of other stuff.

Andie had dough balls then a sea bass fillet with veg and buttery potatoes, and I had calamari then a spicy pizza with nduja, roquito sweet chili peppers, red pepper and tomato. It was really good, but I have had humongous farts for the rest of the day. I say "but", when of course I consider this to be a tremendous benefit.

Anyway, the first part of today was a good way to see off our holiday. The latter part has made me grumpy, but I'm trying not to think too hard about that. Tomorrow will be over and done with before I know it, and then hopefully normality can resume.

Oh, and my mini PC was indeed dead dead, so I've had to hastily buy a new one. Fun. That should arrive tomorrow, so aside from not actually having my own computer in the office tomorrow, life should continue with minimal interruptions — and from next weekend, I plan to make a start on my renewed plans for YouTube, so there's that to look forward to.

Anyway, I should probably attempt to sleep amid this cloud of fart gas I currently exist within, so on that note I will bid you a good night.

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1358: The Bits You Fast-Forward Through

I'm struggling to remember the last time an advert actually had its intended effect on me — that is to say, I can't really remember the last time I actually bought something or made use of a service based on an advert.

The reason for this is that advertising appears to be getting increasingly infuriating and lazy as time goes on. TV ads these days are actively irritating rather than positive in promoting things, Internet ads are seemingly designed to be as obtrusive and distracting as possible, and print ads barely exist any more.

Consider TV ads, if you will. There seems to be an increasing number of people writing TV ads who seem to think that doing the whole thing as a rhyme is a good idea. No. This is never a good idea, because poetry sounds pretentious and arty-farty even when it's good; get someone without a literary bone in their body to write some sort of rhyme about yogurt or nappies or haemorrhoid cream or something and the result is just embarrassing, like the sort of shit children come out with for the usually short-lived "poetry" project they inevitably do as part of "literacy" lessons in primary school.

Then there's the ads that take a well-known song and "hilariously" change the lyrics to something to do with insurance or plasters or credit cards. Inevitably, the songs chosen are the most horrendously overplayed, clichéd shit that everyone is already sick of, and similarly, the ad itself is inevitably edited by someone who has no clue about musical structure or indeed how the original song actually went, leaving the whole thing feeling like a band of year 9 music students who think they're really good but actually keep forgetting the lines.

Worst of all, I think, are the ones that actively try to "go viral" or become a meme. This is always painful to watch, because it's something you can't force. This is perhaps best demonstrated by the fact that anything that has tried to deliberately "go viral" since the dawn of the Internet has spectacularly failed (is anyone following O2's advice to "be more dog"? Didn't think so.) while anything which did successfully permeate popular culture ("you've been Tango'd", say) did so largely through word of mouth rather than a group of marketing executives specifically trying to make people say things.

I think my least favourite ads in the world are "interactive" Web ads, though. They'll start as a postage stamp-sized version of a TV ad, and then those infuriating words "Get ready to interact!" will appear on the screen. Rather arrogantly, the people behind the ad then expect you to indulge in all the fun of, say, hoovering a carpet or wiping a dirty toilet seat, with your reward being the helpful information that you can buy the product you've just been "using" at all good supermarkets.

I should probably just use an adblocker if all this infuriates me so much, but unfortunately I'm all too painfully aware how much of the Internet is reliant on these stupid ads, and there's relatively little I can do about TV ads aside from not watch TV, which I don't really do that much anyway.

Anyhow. Bollocks, piss and fart. I am grumpy so I am going to bed.