Tag: calories

#oneaday Day 785: Portioning the blame

I had a roll of Rowntree's Fruit Pastilles yesterday. While looking up the nutritional information to add it to my calorie-tracking app — I may have been having a little treat, but I was keeping within my daily calories — I discovered that the tube felt the need to inform me that "1 portion" is "half a tube". No it fucking isn't. Who the fuck eats half a tube of Fruit Pastilles?

I know why this is the case, of course. It's a misguided (and probably legally enforced) attempt to get us all to practice better portion control and, collectively, to Be Less Fat. However, we all know what actually happens: people look at that "portion" advice, then just double it (or, in some cases, multiply it by four or more) in order to calculate what they are actually eating. And I just feel like food companies could probably save everyone a lot of time and effort if they just put what the calorie value for the whole thing was.

Like, take a pizza. Buy a frozen pizza and the calorie information will probably be for half of it. Buy a takeaway pizza and the calorie information will be "per slice". Motherfucker, if I am buying a pizza of any description I am eating that whole thing, so just tell me what the damage is so I don't have to get the bloody calculator out. I will accept full responsibility for my actions. Just tell me.

Likewise, take one of those massive bars of Dairy Milk. According to those, "1 portion" is "3 squares". No it fucking isn't. The only time people buy a massive bar of Dairy Milk is when they are depressed, and when that happens they are almost certainly going to eat the whole thing while crying in front of the TV. (Ask me how I know.) So just tell me how many thousand calories are in that whole bar of chocolate so I can come to terms with the consequences at a later time when I am feeling less emotionally fragile.

I feel calorie information on food packaging might actually have more impact if it was more honest like this! "If you eat this whole quiche, that's most of the daily calorie intake for an average human being!" Great! Now I know, and I will thus probably think a little bit harder about whether or not I actually really want to eat that whole quiche, or if I'm just doing so because I'm in the middle of a binge-eating spree that is almost certainly fuelled by some combination of depression, anxiety and/or autism.

And don't even get me started on foods that are clearly portioned out, but which will only ever give you calorie information "per 100 grams". That's the point where I really don't want to start doing maths. Don't make me do fucking percentages just to figure out how guilty I should be feeling for eating the thing. Just give me the calorie information for a realistic portion, and perhaps for the entire packet of the thing just in case it accidentally ends up all taking a trip down to see Mr Tums.

To put it another way, stop trying to shame me for eating more than I "should" and help me make an actually informed decision using helpful information! By the time I am able to successfully curtail my appetite, I don't mind dividing some of these things into halves or quarters or whatever, although one would hope once you have reached a good, "healthy" weight (which is its own discussion, I'm sure) you have less need to be exacting about counting calories. But during that period where accurate calorie information is actually helpful — i.e. when you're trying to lose weight — I think it would benefit everyone to be completely honest and lay out the cold, hard facts. I think it would genuinely be a lot more effective at helping to get people to reconsider before overeating!

And stop trying to kid yourself that anyone is eating half a tube of Fruit Pastilles!

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#oneaday Day 539: Adults need 2,000 calories a day

One thing I always find difficult to get my head around is the concept that "adults need around 2,000 calories per day", as quoted on most nutritional information labels. Because there's one thing that counting calories each day makes very clear to me: it is very easy to burn through 2,000 calories or more (as a big lad, I can have a few more and still be within my "allowance" for theoretically losing weight) while barely realising it.

I had a Meal Deal the other day that calculated to well over a thousand calories. A thousand! For a thousand calories I want something better than a soggy supermarket sandwich and a bag of all-right-but-nothing-special crisps. (Okay, there was a chocolate bar and a Red Bull also. But still.)

I know the answer to this is "eat more fruit and vegetables", since both of those things are, in theory, 1) filling and 2) low in calories, comparatively speaking. But they're so boring. That's the trouble. If fruit and vegetables were more interesting, and if they didn't run the risk of going off before you have a chance to get to them, it'd be much easier to prioritise them. I suppose the answer to that is to not have things in the house that you'd rather eat than fruits and vegetables, but I tend to find that is when you start getting into the "I'm bored of everything we have in the house, I'm going to go to the shop and blow a thousand-plus calories on a Meal Deal" territory, which is counter-productive.

So what's the answer to that? Balance, probably. But it's frustrating when you, say, have what feels like an eminently modest breakfast (a bowl of cereal, say) and an unremarkable lunch (a jacket potato, for example, or a simple sandwich) and you've blown through so many calories in the process. And if you eat less, then you just end up hungry and wanting to eat more, and you overcompensate with snacks.

How the bloody hell does anyone get through a day with just 2,000 calories? More to the point, how does anyone stay slim (or at least "normal-sized") with the myriad, highly calorific temptations that are everywhere in modern life, even if you're not specifically going looking for a "treat"?

If I can figure all that out, this whole "weight loss" thing might be much easier. But unfortunately I'm not any closer to working things out just yet. Maybe it's one of those things where you just have to take it a bit at a time. Perhaps the next time we go shopping I'll try and prioritise some form of nice fruit for snacking purposes rather than other, potentially more calorific options, and then go from there. We'll see.

Want to read my thoughts on various video games, visual novels and other popular culture things? Stop by MoeGamer.net, my site for all things fun where I am generally a lot more cheerful. And if you fancy watching some vids on classic games, drop by my YouTube channel.

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