#oneaday Day 676: Shuffle post

Every so often, I like to hit the "Random Post" button in my menu bar and see what the lack of "algorithm" on this site serves me up. At least, I don't think there's an algorithm beyond POST=INT(RND(0)*NUMBEROFPOSTS)+1 — although oddly enough, I do feel like certain posts do come up more often than others whenever I feel like browsing back through the archives.

Anyway, today I'm going to link you to some of these randomly selected posts and you can have a look at them. If you want to. I don't mind if you don't. I'm not your Dad or your teacher, just some loser on the Internet who does… this.

Anyway.

Cardinal Quest is out on iOS, and you should probably buy it (10/6/2012) – This was back in the days before mobile gaming completely lost the plot and became nothing but predatory gacha and free-to-play games. Cardinal Quest was a decent roguelike with a nice pixel art aesthetic, from what I recall, and it was a decent fit for mobile thanks to its relatively straightforward mechanics. It is, unfortunately, no longer available on iOS, and it seems its PC port is gone from the Internet, too; it was originally distributed by the short-lived "Steam for indies" service, Desura, and also by BMTMicro, whoever the fuck they are. Desura is now a sketchy-looking webgame portal, and BMTMicro says Cardinal Quest is "no longer available for purchase". There was also apparently a sequel in 2015 that is still available on a platform people actually use — Steam — and seems well-regarded by the 115 people who bothered to review it. Did you buy Cardinal Quest on iOS in 2012? I did. Unfortunately I no longer have anything to play it on and I bet I can't download it any more either.

So very very tired (17/6/2025) – A recent one! This one was me bemoaning the fact that Uncle Ben's instant noodle packets have an AI-generated picture of the noodles on the front of them. You know, the noodles in the packet. The ones they could have probably cooked up and photographed quite easily. Honestly, I cannot wait for the day when I no longer feel the need to write posts about how frustrating I find the AI fad, but that day has not come along just yet, unfortunately.

Glee – it's a feeling you get when your brain finally lets your heart get in its pants (30/1/2012) – I forget the exact origin of the quote in the headline, because sadly I did not come up with it myself. A brief Google reveals that it is from Community (specifically, a Christmas episode which is a Glee parody, and which also features the memorable scene of Alison Brie singing "boopy-doopy-doop-doop-SEX" while dressed in a Santa outfit) — but this post was not about that episode. No, it was actually about Glee, which I eventually watched after I saw the Community parody of it, and after I got over my curious resistance to it. I thought it was popular and thus probably wasn't any good, but I ended up enjoying it quite a bit. Can't remember anything about it now, mind, but it was a pleasant enough watch at the time, as this post suggests.

Hypnospace (8/7/2024) – I played Hypnospace Outlaw back in July of 2024, and enjoyed it enough to blog a bit about it. It's a memorable, worthwhile game that I recommend, so I'll just let this post do the talking.

No half-measures for Ultima (22/5/2022) – This post is about the fact I bought a laser printer because I had got sick of the expense of running modern inkjet printers, and I wanted a means of quickly and easily printing out documentation for retro games. In this case, the Ultima series, which I have been meaning to go through properly at some point, but have still not gotten around to beyond a few videos showing me trying them out for the first time. One day!

Type Zero (19/11/2016) – Final Fantasy Type-0 is a game that I feel is probably mostly forgotten about today, but it was an interesting spinoff in the Final Fantasy series that did some intriguing things with game structure, battle mechanics and all manner of other things. The PS4 version is a good way to experience it, as I talk about a bit in this post.

Defiant Destiny (27/3/2011) – A post about pondering the future as it appeared to be extending out in front of me as of 2011. At that time, I was still picking up the shattered pieces of my life somewhat after a tumultuous 2010, but I was starting to see the possibility that things might not end up being a complete disaster. I would still have plenty of challenges to face, and I don't think 2011 me would believe 2026 me if I went back and told him the state of the world right now, but it was nice to have at least a brief moment where there was kind of, sort of a feeling of hope to cling on to.

That seems like a nice place to leave things, no? Hope. Remember that?

Want to read my thoughts on various video games, visual novels and other popular culture things? Stop by MoeGamer.net, my site for all things fun where I am generally a lot more cheerful. And if you fancy watching some vids on classic games, drop by my YouTube channel.

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#oneaday Day 420: Scratch pad

Well, I did what I said yesterday and set up a new site purely for creative writing shenanigans. You can find it at https://scratchpad.moegamer.net — there's nothing there yet, but feel free to bookmark or subscribe or whatever if you feel like it. I'm making no promises as to the regularity with which I'll post over there, but it is there for me to use when I feel like it. Long-term, I might like to try and make some sort of "commitment" to doing some creative writing on a regular basis, but as with anything, it's going to be a case of establishing the habit first of all before you can actually really make it into a full-on habit.

I've been thinking about what I might want to write over there. I think I might start with some short stories rather than attempting to do anything too complicated or ambitious right away. While complicated, ambitious stories are always a delight to get started on, it's easy to get bogged down in the middle section and never get around to finishing them. One thing I found with my "NaNoWriMo But Not Really (Especially Now They're AI Weirdoes)" posts on this site was that it was those middle parts which were the most challenging. You may have a strong opening (ooer missus) and a solid finale in mind, but it's getting from one to the other that is often the challenging bit. Particularly when you're trying to ensure you meet a word (or, in the case of those projects, post) count.

So short stories would seem to be a sensible thing to start with. I can perhaps use them to explore or establish some characters, and those characters can perhaps grow into something I want to do more ambitious things with. Perhaps a collection of short stories focused on a particular character or group of characters is a solid foundation for a longer work? Or perhaps what begins as unconnected short stories can end up telling a complete narrative? I don't know. It's been quite a long time since I've done this, so my mind is, frankly, fairly awash with possibilities at the moment.

One thing I am going to take care of on the new site is to ensure that things are categorised nicely. I'm envisioning a page where you can just browse through short stories, then anything which ends up being more ambitious can, of course, have its own page also so anyone who cares to do such a thing can read from the beginning to the end without interruption. And it goes without saying that this site will remain ad-free for the foreseeable future — given that I don't have any ads on my most successful site, MoeGamer, I really don't think having them on a creative scratch pad is really going to achieve anything.

And, of course, the site will remain proudly AI-free. Not a single bit of generative AI will go anywhere near that page, and absolutely definitely not for text generation. The whole point of the site is for me to indulge in some unadulterated creativity for the first time in quite a while, so dicking around with AI kind of defeats the object there, doesn't it? Also there's plenty of quite convincing evidence right now that using ChatGPT turns you into a dribbling cunt that is totally incapable of thinking for itself, so there's that, also.

Anyway, yeah. That's the announcement, I guess. Now to figure out something to write over there!

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#oneaday Day 411: Blogiversary

It is, according to WordPress, the 17th anniversary of me signing up for WordPress and starting this blog. This was not my first blog, but it is, by far, the one that has stuck around the longest, in that it still exists. I don't think any of my other blogs are still online, though several of them are archived in the Wayback Machine.

In my first post on here, I explained that I signed up with WordPress so I wouldn't have to rely on, I quote, "crappy, shit-arsed web hosts who don't reply to my emails when I politely (and subsequently, less politely) enquire exactly why they have absconded with £30 of my hard-earned for another year's hosting and domain name ownership". I can't remember the exact circumstances that surrounded this, but it would have been one of my previous self-hosted websites, which I had a domain name for.

Now, 17 years later, this blog is once again self-hosted, after an incident that is well-documented on this site. If you weren't around for that, the short version is that this site got mistakenly flagged as spam by WordPress.com's automated AI-powered bots, and rather than contacting me to enquire if, you know, everything was all right, they just shut the whole thing down — and, to add insult to injury, when your site has been shut down for supposed "terms of service violations", as in this case, you're not actually able to post in the Support forums to get an explanation.

It took multiple angry emails (very angry emails) to WordPress to get them to reinstate my site… which I then promptly uprooted and moved here. My traffic has been a fraction of what it once was ever since, but eh. On this site in particular, I don't really care; this place has always been my own personal little haven where I write what I want, and it's never been about getting people to read it. As perhaps exemplified by the fact I don't really share what I write about here; some people who have been hanging around for a while still read because they're still subscribed via email or RSS or whatever, and the rest of the Internet doesn't really know I exist. Honestly, I'm kind of fine with this.

I have changed a lot since that first post in 2008. I've been through a divorce and remarriage, I survived the COVID years, I've been through several different jobs and… well, frankly, it hasn't been an easy ride at all, for a whole mess of reasons you'll have to delve back into the archives to find out more about. But one near-constant in all that nonsense was this blog; even when I wasn't posting here daily, it was comforting to know that it was somewhere that I could come when I needed an outlet. And in some respects, it's nice to be able to look back on times gone by — good and bad — and reflect on how things have changed over the years.

There are things I regret, absolutely. There are also things I had little to no control over. On the whole, I'm in a mostly better place now than I was then — and especially during a particularly dark time in 2010 — though there are other ways in which life was better, simpler, back then. I certainly wasn't getting annoyed about AI back in 2008, and social media certainly didn't feel quite as toxic as it does today.

One thing hasn't changed since that first post, though, and that is the fact that I am "constantly shaking my head at the rancid, disgusting, despicable state that this country is in". How little I knew. If only I knew that things were going to get much, much worse nearly 20 years later.

Because they are fucking worse, aren't they? Not only is late-stage capitalism destroying lives on a regular basis, we have an insane paedophile rapist in the most powerful office in the world, we've taken about a million steps back in terms of not being racist, homophobic and transphobic, the rich are getting richer, the poor are getting poorer and no-one knows how to behave like a decent human being any more because they spent all their fucking time staring at TikTok instead of interacting with other people.

Still, this blog will remain a constant. And, in these challenging times, that thing about it being a helpful outlet for me rings especially true!

Happy birthday, blog. Thanks for listening.

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#oneaday Day 304: Web maintenance at the worst times

I found it very hard to get out of bed this morning. The reason for this is simple: I stayed up until 2AM doing maintenance activities on this site and MoeGamer that could have almost certainly waited until a more sociable hour, but once I'd started, I wanted to see them through.

Y'see, both my sites have gone on a bit of a journey. They were both originally hosted on WordPress.com, with this blog being on a free account and MoeGamer being on a "Premium" paid tier. I was starting to reach the limits of what I could do with the Premium account in particular — most notably with regard to media storage space — and thus I moved MoeGamer to a self-hosted WordPress.org installation on a Bluehost hosting account.

Before anyone jumps in to decry Bluehost as being shit: believe me, I know. That is the reason neither of my sites are hosted with Bluehost at this point. But we'll come back to that.

As anyone who has ever tried to migrate a large site from WordPress.com to WordPress.org will tell you, the supposedly simple and straightforward migration process is anything but. What is supposed to happen is that you hit "Export" on your WordPress.com site, which spits out your site's contents as XML files, then you hit "Import" on your WordPress.org site, wherever you've hosted it, and it will recreate your site. Posts, pages and comments will go right back in, and the import process is supposed to look for any media you posted and automatically go and retrieve it from your old site, then transfer it to your new one.

Notice how I emphasise "supposed to". Because in the multiple times I have done this over the years, not once has it ever worked how it is, apparently, supposed to. Not only that, but the documentation on WordPress' own site refers to features and options that do not actually exist. Take these instructions for exporting your Media Library, for example. By following these instructions, even if the "automatic" process described above didn't work, you should be able to just tell WordPress.com to export all your media files into a big ol' .zip file, then import them all in one go to your WordPress.org installation.

Just one problem: the options they tell you to click on do not exist. Maybe they once existed and now do not, but right now — and for multiple years at this point, since I've done this several times with different sites — they do not exist, making them completely useless as instructions.

There are plugins that are supposed to help with this sort of thing. You can't install plugins on a WordPress.com site unless you're subscribed to the obscenely expensive "Business" plan, but you can install plugins on WordPress.org. Except you then run into the minefield of whether or not the plugins in question actually do what you think they're supposed to do, or if they're just some dodgy, shady thing trying to get you to sign up to their "Pro" account because the one vaguely useful option they have is paywalled.

And this is to say nothing of most web servers' tendency to crash if you throw too much data at them in one go. I have several thousand posts on both here and MoeGamer, and attempting to import them all at once would crash the import process every time. I ended up having to go a hundred at a time, which took a very long time, I can tell you, particularly as it would still crash on occasion. And amid all that, if it wasn't already clear, it didn't automatically import my old media and transfer it across to the new site; instead, it just left links to the old media and then… didn't do anything else.

So what I ended up with was two sites that were full of images that were hotlinked from an account I wasn't paying for any more, and which I wanted to close down. And it took me until last night to figure out some possible solutions.

For the record, I used two distinct plugins. Firstly, I used the Auto Upload Images plugin, which actually does do what the media import process is supposed to do: it looks for externally hosted images, then it imports them to your media library and updates the <img> tags to point to your new media library copies. The one downside I found with this plugin is that rather than importing the old images under the same date structure as the old site, it imports them all "today". This is down to a limitation with how WordPress handles files, I think, so no big deal — but it did cause an issue.

On both my sites, a lot of older images had automatically been set to allow people to click on them to see the full size versions. The links were now pointing at the old version of the image, while the <img> tags were showing the new versions. Not only that, but the mismatch in dates meant that some of these clickable links were just completely broken.

To resolve this, I took something of a nuclear option: I used the Broken Link Checker plugin to scan my site for all its links, searched those links for anything that was pointing at the old wordpress.com site and then just batch "unlinked" them. That means that the new images would be safely in place, the broken links would be removed and everything from thereon should, in theory, be hunky-dory.

There are a few things that have broken along the way, like any Gallery posts I hosted have lost all their images and I don't see any means of fixing that aside from doing them all manually, plus there's been the usual "link rot" of old copyright-infringing YouTube videos no longer being available online. Plus any audio media seems to have gone walkies, too, but again, no big deal, really; I don't think anyone expects a website that has been around for nearly 20 years to suffer from no link rot whatsoever.

But anyway. I got rather involved in this process last night, starting around 11pm. I knew, looking at the clock, that I shouldn't start doing something like this so late in the evening. But then I did, and hyperfixation kicked in, and I kept going until everything was, so far as I can tell, sorted. I mean, my galleries and audio bits are still broken, but I can live with that. What I didn't really want to live with was several thousand broken image links that led nowhere. And I think I've fixed that issue.

If you happen to notice anything wrong with any old posts you find yourself reading, do let me know and I'll see if it's possible to fix them. In some cases, that may be possible; in others, less so. As I say, it's part and parcel of a site being live for this long, even if it has moved hosting and domain names multiple times in its lifespan. But hopefully it's going to stick around right here for quite some time, so I wanted to fix as many of the annoying little issues as possible. So here we are!

I hope the three or four of you who actually read this appreciate the work I put in!

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2541: Farewell

This is my last daily post on this blog, to coincide with the last hour of the last day of 2016. I'm not going to rule out posting on here again when I feel like it, but this is the last of my daily entries. I feel that the exercise has run its course, and I'm definitely satisfied with what I've accomplished over the last 2,541 days.

Why am I stopping now? Well, it's part of a broader plan I outlined a few days ago. I want to unplug and get away from the constant noise of online culture in 2016. It stopped being fun a good while ago — roughly coinciding with the rise of the outrage brigade who love nothing more than using their social media clout to shame people for enjoying "problematic" material — but it's also been becoming increasingly apparent that the reasons I've been keeping my social media accounts active for as long as I have simply don't seem to be the reasons other people keep them active.

On previous occasions when I've considered deactivating my Facebook and Twitter accounts — Facebook in particular — the thing that has always stopped me is the thought that "oh, people won't be able to get hold of me easily, since everyone uses Facebook nowadays rather than anything else." But over time it's become apparent that while everyone does indeed use Facebook, pretty much the last thing they use it for is keeping in touch with other people. Rather, the inherent encouragement of narcissism in modern social media encourages people to post everything about their lives — or rather, everything in a heavily edited, idealised version of their lives — in an attempt to make other people feel like they should be having more fun/sex/babies/delicious meals/strong opinions about Donald Trump. And while that occasionally leads to heated debates in comment sections, it very rarely seems to lead to good conversations.

Twitter comes at it from a different angle. I've heard Twitter described as being like going to a party where everyone is shouting things at the room in general hoping other people will come and join the conversation, and that's a fairly apt description. The particular trouble with Twitter is that its original selling point — its 140-character limit, intended to encourage people to "microblog" rather than post walls of text — isn't conducive to nuanced discussion and debate, which leads to particularly obnoxious behaviour when people of differing ideologies and/or opinions about which anime girl is hottest come into contact with one another.

In short, I've been finding social media to be more trouble than it's worth, so I'm unplugging from the noise in the hope that those people who do value my friendship will make use of other, more private and personal means of contacting me rather than everything being aired in public. And this blog comes under that header, too.

This blog has been valuable "therapy" for me over the course of the last few years, which have been, to say the least, rather challenging and difficult for a variety of reasons. I've faced many obstacles — some of my own creation, some by other people being colossal jackasses and my not really having any power to do anything about that — and, while I wouldn't say my life is where I want it to be in the slightest, I feel that I've grown stronger as a person as a result.

But I feel like I need to start a new chapter. Leave behind the past, and look forward to a hopefully brighter future. It's not easy to shed emotional baggage — not to mention the physical baggage that mental stress can leave you with — but severing my ties with the past, be they social media accounts or indeed this blog, feels like the right thing to do right now.

I'm not disappearing entirely, mind you; as I mentioned in my previous post, I still intend to keep writing weekly on MoeGamer, which will become my main place to write about games I've found particularly interesting or exciting, so I encourage you to subscribe over there if you like what I'm doing. And for more general writing, I'm starting up a weekly TinyLetter — effectively a small-scale mailing list — for personal notes to those of you who have been kind enough to show me friendship and support over the last few years. If you're interested, you can sign up for that here. (Those of you for whom I have email addresses already, I'll be taking the liberty of signing you up automatically at some point on New Year's Day; I hope you don't mind, and if you do, please rest assured that if you decide you don't want to receive my notes, you can unsubscribe easily.)

Aside from that, though, at this point in my life I feel like broader Internet culture just doesn't hold the value it once did for me, so out the window the unnecessary crap goes for 2017. I'm not encouraging any of you to follow my lead and I'm certainly not casting any judgement on those of you who still find value in social media and Internet culture at large; I'm simply saying it's not for me, and explaining where I'll be going if you do want to find me.

If you'd like to stay in touch more privately, please either subscribe to my TinyLetter — which you can reply to just like a normal email — or drop me a message via my Get In Touch page with your email address and/or any other contact details you'd care to share.

For those who have supported this blog for any period of time — be you lurker or regular commenter — thank you, good night, and I wish you a happy, healthy and hearty New Year. Here's to 2017 being a better year for everyone.

2500: Traditional 500-Post Pondering

So, post 2,500. I was going to try and write something meaningful, but then I worked a 12-hour shift (voluntarily) and now I'm knackered and my feet are killing me, so my heart's not quite in it. Still, onward we go.

Occasionally in recent months I've found myself wondering if I should keep this blog going, and/or if so, how long for. Why am I still doing it, who is it for and am I getting anything out of the experience?

On the whole, I think that yes, I do find it to be a valuable and helpful experience on the whole. It's a means for me to express myself to people who know me in a way that I might not find particularly easy or practical to do so in person. It's a means for me to talk about the things I love without having to worry about boring people in the same room as me — if you're not interested in something I talk about for a post or two, simply don't read it. And, of course, it's a means to continue practicing the craft of writing, not that there's a "right" way to do it. (Except for those people who insist on writing all their posts in lower-case letters. Those people are wrong.)

There are things on here that I'm glad I've talked about, and things I wish I'd never brought up. There are good times and bad times; there are things I'm happy about and things that make me infuriated.

More than anything, though, this blog is me. It's a record of, frankly, what has ended up being a rather turbulent period in my life, and it's been something I can focus on each day even if everything else around me might have been shit. It's been a great outlet and a good means of broaching difficult topics as well as a place where I can happily vent my feelings, good and bad, on a daily basis.

So yes, I'm carrying on. Until when, I can't say. But 2,500 daily posts in, it kind of seems like a shame to stop now, huh?

2212: The Stat Connection

"Go to your Stats page and check your top 3-5 posts. Why do you think they’ve been successful? Find the connection between them, and write about it."

Daily Post, February 9, 2016

All right. Let's have a look, then. Since we're not that far into 2016 and WordPress doesn't appear to have an "all time" function to search top posts, I'll provide the top five posts (excluding the homepage, which makes up the majority of pageviews but doesn't tell me much) for both 2016 so far and 2015. In other words, these are posts that people saw the title of (probably on social media or via a search engine) and directly clicked through to, rather than simply checking my front page each day.

Here's 2016 so far:

And here's 2015:

All right. So let's get analysing.

Since I write about a wide variety of topics on this blog — regular readers will know that it's my personal outlet for venting about whatever is on my mind on any given day rather than any attempt to provide a coherent editorial experience — it's perhaps not surprising that not all of the entries in these two lists have something in common, but there are a few common themes along the way.

How to Do Stuff

Let's look at 2016, first. Both How to Win at Omega Quintet and Helping your Squad in Xenoblade X were written in 2015 (indicated by them not having the orange bar next to them), yet have remained consistently popular since I wrote them. The reason for this is that they are instructional content: guides for video games. Instructions or guides are consistent traffic magnets, regardless of the subject matter of your site, because one of the most common things people search the Internet for is how to do something. Video games sites often use guide content for current popular games to attract visitors to their site and guarantee a baseline of ad revenue, then cross their fingers that readers will click through to other, less "baity" content. It doesn't always work like that, of course, which is why we've seen a rise in deliberately provocative "clickbait" content across the board, not just in games journalism.

Anyway. The reason that my guide content for both Omega Quintet and Xenoblade X proved popular is that these were both games that had a specific audience, but neither of them were "big" enough for a commercial site to want to devote time and column inches to them. In other words, those searching for help when playing Omega Quintet and/or Xenoblade X would be out of luck when searching the big video games sites, but a cursory Google search would doubtless throw up my posts here fairly early on — indeed, at the time of writing, my post on Omega Quintet appears sixth in my (admittedly personalised) Google search results, embarrassingly with a typo in the preview text which I have now corrected:

It's for this reason that a couple of my other previous posts have proven popular over time: my post on How to Play Pocket Academy, for example, detailing the baffling and frankly illogical mechanics of Kairosoft's mobile-based school sim, rode high in my rankings for quite some time. I tell you: if you want traffic, write posts that tell people how to do stuff, and preferably how to do stuff that mainstream sites haven't covered.

The Power of Sharing

My most popular posts are always several orders of magnitude more popular than their nearest rivals, with perhaps the most impressive example being 2015's An Open Letter to Paul Glass, Slimming World Consultant, Upper Shirley. This post was pretty far from my more regular subject matter on popular media, particularly video games, and yet it was my most popular individual post for 2015. Why? Because it had the absolute shit shared out of it.

Paul Glass was the consultant at our local Slimming World group when I first joined, and his enthusiasm and belief in the programme was and is a big part of why I've stuck with it and had so much success over the course of the last year — I've lost six stone in a year, hopefully with more still to come off. When he revealed that he would be leaving the group to spend more time with his family in far-off climes, I felt it important to express my feelings about what he had helped me accomplish in such a way that I could be clearly understood. I'm shy and socially anxious by nature, and at the time I wrote this I'm not sure how confident I would have felt saying all those words in person, but writing them down on paper is no big deal: I can "fire and forget" that way.

Something told me that I should probably share this post a little wider than just my Twitter followers, though, and so I decided to make one of my extremely irregular visits to Facebook to post a link to the letter on the Facebook group for the Slimming World group in question. That one simple action caused that one single post to absolutely explode in popularity, as it was shared by group members, Paul himself, and subsequently by other people I'd never met involved with Slimming World in various capacities, either as group members or staff.

You never can quite tell what the next big viral sensation is going to be, but there is one thing that all my popular posts do tend to have in common:

The Passion of the Post

It is, I feel, no coincidence that my most widely shared, most popular posts are those in which I feel most passionate about the things that I am writing about. I am a person who, I feel, can express their passion for something pretty clearly through my writing. And indeed, due to the aforementioned shyness and social anxiety mentioned above, I find writing to be the easiest means through which I can express that passion to an audience that can — hopefully — appreciate what I'm saying, or at least respect it.

2015's most popular posts were all about passion, from my letter to Paul to Perhaps We Should Stop Insulting Fans of Japanese Games. Four out of the five posts above were about video games — four out of the five posts were pretty much about the same thing, in fact, which was critics' regular dismissive and unfair treatment of both Japanese game developers and the fans of the games they make — but these posts all resonated deeply both with myself and with the circle of friends I've cultivated on social media, most of whom share the same interests as me.

Consequently, much as my letter to Paul got shared far and wide, so too did The Joyless Wankers of the Games Press (actually written the year before in response to an absolutely atrocious review of Fairy Fencer F on my former stomping grounds of USgamer), Some Thoughts for Critics (a response to Jim Sterling's dreadful and ill-informed review of Senran Kagura 2), Hi Games Journalism, It's Time We Had Another Chat (a response to Mike Diver's equally dreadful and ill-informed review of Senran Kagura 2, a game which is a ton of fun but which proved to be a whipping boy for self-described "progressive" types on the grounds of the female characters' big jiggly breasts) and the aforementioned Perhaps We Should Stop Insulting Fans of Japanese Games (a response to an extraordinarily narrow-minded editorial on USgamer by my former editor Jeremy Parish, and almost certainly the reason he has me blocked on Twitter). I saw these posts get shared and reshared, not only on Twitter, but also on Facebook and Reddit, the latter of which I don't really use myself.

The things I had written had clearly got the strength of my feelings across, and other people felt like they could relate to them in some way — either agreeing or disagreeing — and this caused them to explode in popularity, at least in terms of numbers. The same, too, can be said for 2016's Why It Would Be A Mistake to Not Localise Valkyrie Drive Bhikkuni, an impassioned plea for the progressive loudmouths not to stop Senran Kagura creator Kenichiro Takaki's new game making it over to Western shores.

Bovril?

I'll be honest, I have no idea why a post from 2013 about beef-and-yeast-extract black sticky substance Bovril is my third most popular post this year so far, but oddly enough this post has been consistently popular: it finished 2015 in sixth place, just after my various rants at the games journalism industry and also ranked sixth in 2014, but only managed 19th place in its original year of publication.

It's not even a particularly exciting post: it simply describes what Bovril is and how I feel about it. It doesn't even appear on the front page of Google results for Bovril. But I guess it meant something to someone somewhere. Perhaps not many people write about Bovril on the Internet, and my post offered a safe space for Bovril fans to convene and share in silent contemplation of salty beef drinks. Or perhaps it's just one of those things that can't quite be explained.

So what can we learn from this?

There are a few things you can probably see my most popular posts have in common. To my eye, these things are:

A clear, conversational title that makes it clear what the post is about — i.e. a simple subject line rather than a "title" that tries to be clever or funny
Passion for the subject — clear emotion, either positive or negative, is infectious and relatable
Scope for sharing — be it a topic that a lot of people feel strongly about, or something that is written in such a way that presents a strong argument in favour of or against something
Complete honesty — even at the expense of a few "bridges" if necessary
Instructions on how to do stuff — particularly if nowhere else has published instructions on how to do that stuff

Not all of my most popular posts have all of the above elements — although I do make a specific effort to apply the "complete honesty" element to everything I write — but these are, by far, the most common factors that all of my most popular posts have between them.

I hope that's proved as enlightening for you as it has for me: it's certainly given me some food for thought with regard to what to write about going forward from here, so I'd say both as a writing exercise and an analytical investigation, this post has been a great success.

Thanks, Daily Post!

2049: Dear Diary

0049_001 There are times when I wonder whether this blog is the best way to handle getting thoughts out of my head in some form or another.

I used to keep a diary when I was younger. I'm not really sure why; I think it was partly due to the fact that I very much enjoyed the Adrian Mole books and fancied myself as being a similar sort of person to him in some ways. (I later realised that Adrian was a bit of a twat — or at least became a bit of a twat in the later books — and rescinded my earlier appraisal.) Mostly, though, it was about the fact that I enjoyed writing and found it cathartic, particularly if there were things bothering me.

I remember my first diary. It was a really nice leather-bound book with lovely paper, and it said "Journal" on the side of it. It was a souvenir from somewhere or other; I forget exactly where, but my first entry recounted a trip with my parents to the thrilling-sounding National Stone Centre, and subsequent entries had a touch of the "scrapbook" about them, with bits and pieces stuck in and all manner of things.

Then one day I decided to change things up a bit. I decided to use my diary as something a little more personal. Rather than effectively doing what I would do in a school English class — "today we went to [x] and did [y], it was [z]" — I decided that I would use the diary as a means of expressing the thoughts, feelings and emotions that I felt unable or hesitant to talk about with anyone, be it my friends or relatives.

My mental state throughout my school years was a little turbulent, to say the least. I suffered dreadful bullying at primary school, and this continued in secondary school until I punched my main tormentor in the face just as the school principal was coming around the corner. (I largely got away with it, because frankly he had it coming.) Although the instances of outright bullying calmed down somewhat after this watershed moment, my social awkwardness and inability to understand the concept of being in any way fashionable — a trait I maintain to this day, though it matters a bit less now — meant that I was occasionally still the butt of jokes, even from people who were my friends most of the time. If the cool kids were around and there was the opportunity to make a joke at my expense, people normally took it, and this didn't do much for my self-confidence.

I learned quite early on in my life that I was the sort of person who was prone to falling for people pretty quickly. My crippling self-doubt meant that I was ecstatic anyone would even give me the time of day, and even more so if said person was a girl. Having little to no understanding of relationships, though, I didn't really know how to approach girls and try to take things anywhere beyond friendship; this was about the time Friends was airing on TV, so I found myself relating very much to David Schwimmer's Ross character, and would watch the episode where he and Rachel got together over and over again while fantasising about one day being in that situation myself.

Anyway. The upshot of all this is that I found it difficult to express my feelings about people that I found myself liking. I was embarrassed if anyone found out who I "fancied", and my friends would often take advantage of my squirming by hijacking the middle pages of my exercise books, scrawling my beloved's name in huge letters and decorating the page overly flamboyantly. I'd protest, but secretly I actually quite appreciated the fact that they were acknowledging my feelings, and in their own strange, mocking way, I think they were trying to make me feel better, because it almost certainly became clear to them over time that regardless of my feelings towards any of these girls that I fell for during my time at school, I would never, ever do anything about it.

It's not that I didn't want to, though, and that's where the new part of my diary came in. I would use the diary to express myself and try to figure out my feelings about the people that I liked. I'd even — and I realise that this is probably depicting me as a weird sort of creepy psycho — plan out how an "ideal" encounter with my beloved at the time would go. I'd script a conversation — like a play — as if everything was going exactly the way I would want it to, and on one memorable occasion I even drew diagrams of how I'd get my friends to occupy my beloved's friends so I could get her by herself and talk to her alone. (I actually followed through on this on one occasion of uncharacteristic courage; it didn't work, though I did get a hug and a "let's be friends" out of it.)

None of the romances I dreamed of in my diary came to fruition — I had precisely two girlfriends in secondary school, one of whom I became involved with when I was actually trying to get it on with someone else, who cheated on me at the school prom (and is now, so far as I know, married to the dude she cheated on me with, so, err, good job, I guess?) and another with whom I got together during a recording of the BBC's Songs of Praise at the local animal shelter, kissed precisely once, didn't see for three days and then got dumped by proxy because she "wanted things to go back to the way they were before". And, at times, this lack of "action" got to me a bit, particularly as I saw some of my friends getting started with what would turn out to be pretty long-term relationships. But the diary helped. In some ways, it didn't matter that I couldn't muster up the courage to go and talk to these people that I was attracted to, because my diary provided me with a means to express myself without having to put myself on the line, without risking humiliation, and without threatening my real-life friendship with the objects of my affections; my greatest fear was telling someone that I liked them, and them promptly never speaking to me ever again after that. In retrospect, this was a silly fear, but it was a big deal to teenage me.

I'm not sure when it happened, but one day I looked back over my diary and I suddenly felt ashamed of myself. It was a fantasy world, I knew; these conversations I'd script, these scenarios I'd describe, these fancies I'd indulge — none of them would ever be real, and that got to me. I also became absolutely terrified at the prospect of my diary ever being found by someone I really didn't want to read it, so one day while I was alone in the house, I took one last look through that lovely leather-bound journal's pages, stared at it for a few moments, then took it outside to the dustbin and buried it beneath a number of stinky, empty cans of cat food. I can only assume it ended up on a rubbish dump or landfill site somewhere, but occasionally I wondered if anyone would ever actually find it and read it — and what they would think of the clearly troubled mind that scrawled in its pages on an almost daily basis.

To my knowledge, though, no-one ever did read it. And for that I'm sort of grateful, because it would have been mortifying; but at the same time, I wonder if I might not have been able to make myself a little more understood if people had read it. And I guess that's partly what this blog is about; it's not quite the same as my diary and I'm certainly not going to start scripting fantasy conversations between me and people I fancy (largely because I'm married to the person that I love and thus have no need to), but it lets me get the weights off my mind at times, and, since it's public — the journal left lying open on my desk, as it were — I hope it makes me at least a little more understood to others.

And if not, well, you can have a good old giggle at how messed up I am, huh. Either way, thanks for reading.

2025: Building Character

So, since I "rebranded" this place on day 2000, you've probably (maybe, possibly not) been wondering who on Earth the people who appear in the images of questionable quality that appear at the top of each post are. So today I'm going to explain who they are and not at all make up backstories and personalities for them on the fly. No sir,

(Layout of this post might look a bit weird if you're not viewing the site at its full width. I apologise.)

pete_001 This is me. You all know me. You may wonder why I am never facing the "camera" and the reason absolutely, positively is not that Manga Maker ComiPo! doesn't have any "beard" attachments for character faces. Rather, it is simply to maintain an air of mystery about my person and to reflect the fact that I am someone who tends to enjoy watching things unfold rather than necessarily taking an active part in them — at least when it comes to things like social situations and the like.

My choice of appearance is due to the fact that I quite like wearing suits (although damn, they are hot and unpleasant to wear in the summer) and I have messy hair and glasses. I'm somewhat larger than this depiction, but I'm on the way to a slimmer, leaner self thanks to Slimming World.

midori_001 This is Midori. She's named after my Japanese evening class teacher from a while back; while I'm not taking those classes any more, Midori inspired me and encouraged me and made me believe that one day I might actually be able to understand the Japanese language. I'm not quite there yet, but I'm on the way.

Midori is 16 years old, and an energetic, enthusiastic, sociable girl, albeit one who isn't the sharpest tool in the box. She makes up for her overwhelming lack of common sense with the amount of passion she exhibits when throwing herself into an activity — any activity. She reflects the part of me that enjoys enthusing about things with people who share my hobbies and interests, and the part of me that wishes it could just "let go" a bit and be a little less up-tight and highly-strung at times.

yumi_001 This is Yumi. I originally created her to effectively be the "opposite" of Midori in almost every way besides gender, but she started to develop a bit of her own personality in her own right as a natural result of this process.

Trope-wise, I'd describe her as a combination of kuudere and tsundere tropes; she's quiet and softly spoken, yet prone to impatience at times and doesn't suffer fools gladly. Despite this, she's been best friends with Midori since childhood, and tolerates her friend's quirks because she secretly finds dealing with her more fun than she'd ever let on in her own right.

Yumi represents the part of me that is concerned with doing things that are "right" and "respectable", and the part that sometimes just wants to get on with life without anyone else interfering.

luther_001 This is Luther. He's just a prick. Also I apparently forgot to give him any shoes when I created him, so that just makes him even more of a prick.

Luther doesn't represent any part of me in particular (except, perhaps, the part that can be a prick) and instead largely exists as a character that can be on the receiving end of various unpleasant happenings because I feel bad making bad things happen to Midori and Yumi. (Although I did run over Midori with a spaceship in yesterday's post, so…)

He was originally created so "I" had someone to punch in the face for the post I wrote about arcade games a while back. He was subsequently also kicked in the bollocks by Midori in my post about Heroes of the Storm a couple of days later.

There you go, then. I hope that was enlightening, or at least fun. Now it's time for bed for me!

1602: Search Terms

It's been a long time since I pored over my blog's stats — largely because I don't particularly care about them, since I'm writing more for myself than anyone else — but it's occasionally interesting to take a peek at the search terms that show how people have arrived at this 'ere site.

For the longest time, my blog's most popular post was this one, which features animated GIFs of stickmen doing various offensive things to one another. People would show up at my blog through search terms like "stickman sex gif" and the like — why on Earth were so many people searching for this sort of thing when there is far better porn available on the Internet? — and this, consequently, led to that post being consistently popular. Alongside that, some things I wrote ages ago about classic PC games Divine Divinity and No-One Lives Forever proved consistently popular, as did my guide on how to play Kairosoft's mobile game Pocket Academy.

It's only been fairly recently that those consistently popular posts have finally fallen off my top search terms — although, looking today, Pocket Academy is still there. Instead, we have a few newcomers.

First up was this post, in which I bemoaned the repetitiveness and utter stupidity of "[brand] sponsors [programme] on [channel]" bumpers on commercial TV channels — specifically, the infuriatingly asinine "Alpen Sponsors Characters on Dave" campaign, which features a middle-aged, bearded man speaking with a funny accent and saying painfully unfunny lines clearly written by a bored advertising executive who was apparently once told by someone that they were "really funny" more to shut them up than anything else. Since said advertising campaign is still running on Dave, it seems there's a certain degree of interest in this campaign — search terms include people asking who the guy is (I have no idea) and, so far as I can make out, why the fuck it exists.

It seems I've become a source of information on certain types of games and types of entertainment, too. Someone arrived today looking for a map of the Endless Road dungeon in Demon Gaze (while I am playing Demon Gaze right now, you won't find any maps here, sorry), while another person wanted to find out which of the in-game races had the most HP. (I have no idea there either.)

Alongside that, there are just plain bizarre pairings of search terms, the oddest of which is kiss x sis and doctor who, an unholy fusion of a somewhat ecchi anime and the classic, resurrected BBC sci-fi series from which this blog takes its name, but which I do not.

Then there's the person asking "is bovril good for you" — I have no idea, sorry, though with how salty it tastes, I doubt it — and "waiting for the phone to ring" which, I assume, led them to this post, or possibly this one.

It paints an interesting picture of the people I am somehow attracting to this site — or at least, the type of people that Google feels is appropriate to send over here. Everyone is welcome, one and all; I can't promise you'll find what you're looking for, but hopefully you'll stumble across something fun in the meantime.