#oneaday, Day 347: The Christmas Charts

You're looking for some new music, and you don't know what is acceptable to listen to and/or share on various social networking sites. Well, let me come to the rescue, with some one-sentence reviews of the Top 20 tracks in the UK from Spotify. As the name implies, I will be reviewing all tracks using no more than one sentence.

Here we go! Hold tight! This is exciting!

20. Who's That Chick? (Feat. Rihanna) by David Guetta

This track is not currently available in the United Kingdom.

19. Christmas Lights by Coldplay

This is a Christmas song which sounds like a Coldplay song, unsurprisingly, which means that it's depressing as fuck and quite boring.

18. I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday by Wizzard

If you don't know this song, you have probably not been into a shop any time from October onwards in the last 30 years.

17. White Christmas by Bing Crosby

See number 18, but insert the words "in the evening" after the words "into a shop".

16. Step Into Christmas by Elton John

A rock 'n' roll Christmas classic that thankfully eschews most of the Christmas clichés found in many other seasonal tracks—things like sleigh bells, bells, bell-ends… oh wait.

15. Just A Dream – Main by Nelly

I was enjoying this song until he started grunting and then singing.

14. Happy Xmas (War Is Over) by John Lennon

The song that usually plays towards the end of the Christmas school disco.

13. The Flood by Take That

This song sounds more like a Robbie Williams solo number than a traditional Take That track up until the first chorus—this is probably not a coincidence.

12. Many of Horror by Biffy Clyro

Groaning, whining misery—just the thing to tell 2010 to stick itself up its own arse and look forward to a bit more positivity.

11. All I Want For Christmas Is You by Mariah Carey

The only Mariah Carey song I like—fact—despite taking in every single Christmas song cliché along the way.

10. Fairytale Of New York by The Pogues Featuring Kirsty MacColl

I fucking hate this song with all its out-of-tune whingeing and supposed charm and wish it wouldn't be played every ten seconds on the radio over the Christmas break.

9. Just The Way You Are by Bruno Mars

To counter the cynicism from the previous items, I'll say that I quite liked this one, particularly the drumbeat and the building drama in the backing.

8. Last Christmas by Wham!

Back at the school disco again.

7. Merry Xmas Everybody by Slade

I always get this muddled up with the track by Wizzard, thereby proving that all Christmas songs are the same.

6. The Time (Dirty Bit) by Black Eyed Peas

What is this I don't even.

5. Firework by Katy Perry

Tuneful, predictable pop from the family-friendly slut.

4. Like A G6 by Far East Movement

The overpowering synth line thankfully mostly covers the awful one-note singing, babbling crap about drinking and "heeeealll yeeeeeah"s.

3. Only Girl (In The World) by Rihanna

It's a Rihanna song which appears to take place in an early 90s German discotheque.

2. Your Song by Ellie Goulding

It's Your Song by Elton John, now with added (or should that be removed?) dropped T-sounds, a questionable accent and a more melancholy, minimalist feel.

1. What's My Name? by Rihanna

Your name is Rihanna, and this sounds very much like every other song you have ever recorded—but bonus points for the autotuned rapper guy who helpfully explains to us that the "square root of 64 is 8" (yes, really).

I can sum up this Top 20 in just one word. I don't need a sentence.

Arse.

Thank you and good night.

#oneaday, Day 312: Quest Complete: C25K

I've been somewhat short of what one might call "victories" recently. In fact, most of my endeavours for the last I-don't-know-how-long-now have ended in what could politely be called failure. As such, I've been in a bit of a funk recently, getting very tired of… well, everything, really.

So when an actual, genuine, bona fide victory-slash-achievement rears its head, by golly I'm going to celebrate it.

Tonight I completed the nine week Couch 2 5K running programme, introduced to me by one Mr Calin Grajko, who is a really cool guy and, I have it on good authority, doesn't afraid of anything. I've mentioned this a few times previously, but for those of you who can't be bothered to look back a few entries, have joined me recently or who are having trouble finding exactly what you want using the search box (which is fine by me), let me explain.

Over the course of nine weeks, you go from being someone who "can't run" to someone who, well, can. The first week begins with you running for a minute at a time, then walking for 90 seconds, then repeating this process several times. Each week ups the ante somewhat until you reach the final week when, in theory, you should be able to run for 30 minutes at a time without stopping.

When I started the programme, I seriously doubted that I'd ever be able to do more than a couple of minutes at a time. I deliberately hadn't looked at what horrors the end of the programme had to offer because I figured the system shock would just put me off and demotivate me. So it was a genuine surprise each week to find out what I'd be doing. It was a big surprise in the last few weeks when the jumps started getting bigger.

But I'm pleased to announce that I can now run for 30 minutes without stopping. It's not easy, sure, and I'm not quite at that elusive 5K distance just yet (not far off, though—my best distance in 30 minutes is 2.99 miles, just under the 3.1 miles that roughly equates to a 5K) but I figure I can get there with a bit more training. Tonight, I felt a noticeable increase in my speed, for example, though that disappeared with the hilly bits towards the end of tonight's run.

The important thing with any exercise regime is motivation, and making sure you keep this motivation flowing in both the short and long term. By "short term", I mean "while you're doing your exercise", and by "long term" I mean "the duration of the programme and beyond".

Through this programme, I think I've got both of those things pretty comfortably sorted. The long-term motivation is handled nicely by the programme itself—making constant, regular, measurable progress is motivation in and of itself. Plus telling friends that you've completed week whatever-it-is is something you can genuinely take pride in, particularly if your friends are appreciative of what you've been trying to do.

The short-term motivation—keeping going while in the middle of a session—can be harder. If you run out of energy, you run out of energy. Part of this is about pacing yourself, but it's also about not getting too bored of what you're doing as well.

As such, I have made sure to have some banging playlists on my iPhone while out on my running sessions, matched reasonably well-ish with the timings of each session. Me being me, these songs have mostly fallen into the video game soundtrack category. Conveniently, though, the generally regular tempo and "inspiring" nature of a lot of game music makes it entirely appropriate for use in exercising. So without further pontificating on the philosophy of exercise (there are plenty of people out there who can comment on it with much more authority than I) I will share with you my playlist for tonight's run. iPhone users, tap the song titles to play the tunes. Everyone else, you should have a fancy-pants Flash player to play each song with.

Warm-Up: The Elite (from Split/Second)

The Split/Second soundtrack was a fixture on my playlists. For the first few weeks, my playlist consisted solely of the Split/Second soundtrack. Because it's awesome. And free. But this song in particular was an excellent warm-up track because it builds up a bit at a time. There's also a spooky bit in the middle with jangly guitars that is great when you're going out at night-time. During this piece, I was doing my 5-minute walk as a warmup for the main event.

Get Ready: Operation Briefing (from Trauma Center: Second Opinion)

The sole reason this song is in there is so that the woman on the GetRunning app which gives verbal coaching for the C25K programme has something unnecessarily dramatic to talk over while she's briefing you about how long you'll be running for. Timing the start of playback perfectly will mean that you start running with the next piece, which is…

Go!: Friend (from Bayonetta)

If you've never played Bayonetta, know that it's a study in glorious excess. SPOILER: There is a bit where you ride a motorbike up a rocket into space in order to go and rescue the titular Bayonetta, who has gotten herself trapped in the crystalline eye of God, who happens to be a large female statue that is more than a bit pissed off. This music is from that bit. And it's awesome. It's also perfect music to get you pumped up and moving. The tempo is a good pace for running to.

Jenova Returns (from Final Fantasy VII, OCRemix album)

And so begins a set of Final Fantasy VII pieces, or more specifically some awesome remixes by the immensely talented community at OCRemix. When this piece gets all dramatic in the middle, I was just hitting my stride tonight. Which was good.

Beginning of the End (from Final Fantasy VII, OCRemix album)

This is one of my favourite pieces from FFVII. The original version always used to get my pulse racing as the final battle with Sephiroth began. Used at this point in the playlist, I was just starting to feel the proverbial "burn" a bit, and the overdramatic nature of it helped push me through.

Black Wing Metamorphosis (from Final Fantasy VII, OCRemix album)

This is a great, creative remix of the song that everyone knows from FFVII—the final boss theme, One Winged Angel. Bad-ass choirs and screaming guitars? That sounds like motivation to me.

Final Battle: Opportunity (from Skies of Arcadia)

You may be spotting something of a pattern with these pieces. Since it was my last run, I figured I'd make it something of an "occasion" with some ridiculously overdramatic music. The Skies of Arcadia final boss theme is neat because it starts ominous, threatening and dramatic and turns triumphant and victorious by the end. In-game, these changes happened according to how well the battle was going, so you could tell aurally when you were winning. Knowing this sent me subconscious signals that I was on the home straight.

Possibly.

Panic Attack (by Dream Theater)

I loved this song ever since I first encountered it in Rock Band 2, where it gave my fingers something of a workout. And cramp. It's also, like, deep and stuff, cause I can, like, totally relate to the lyrics and whatnot, yeah?

In an exercise sense, it's fast, gets the adrenaline flowing and has the line "rapid heartbeat pounding in my chest" in the middle of it. So it's, like, appropriate.

Of course, it also has the line "I am terrified, so afraid to die" in it. Which, depending on your fitness level, may also be appropriate.

Navras (from The Matrix Revolutions)

Ever since I first heard this piece, I thought it would be an awesome accompaniment to some sort of final battle. In fact, a variation on this piece called Neodämmerung is used in the final battle with Mr Smith in The Matrix Revolutions. This piece, to my mind, though, is superior and is only used in the end credits.

So why not have this piece as the grand finale to the nine-week push? Why not indeed. Conveniently, my 30 minutes were up just as it got to the slow bit in the middle, so I got to cool down to some trippy floaty ethnic-sounding warbling. Which was nice.

So, in summary, then? Keep your motivation up (possibly through the use of some banging tunes) and you can achieve whatever goal you want. I've achieved one, which is something of a relief after so many things that have gone wrong over the last couple of years.

Now, just another 50-something posts to go to achieve another goal…

#oneaday, Day 265: Skill Points

Take a minute, now, to take stock of yourself. Specifically, take stock of the skills you have. And don't say that you don't have any. Everybody has skills of some description, whether it's the ability to make the perfect Angel Delight without the use of a measuring jug, the ability to excite women simply by looking at them, an understanding of the various wires, pipes and bendy things that make up a car engine or being able to do something awesome like play the piano.

It's quite a strange experience to suddenly be conscious of your own skills. But there are times when it happens. It often doesn't happen when you're young or lacking in self-confidence. But at some point in your life, something flips a switch in your head and says, "Hey. You're awesome. It's okay to think that." Not in an arrogant way, simply in the sense that you can picture a task in front of you—be it making said Angel Delight, exciting said women or… you get the idea—and feel confident that yes, you probably are going to be able to pull that off.

You know you're at that stage when you casually mention something you're doing to friends and they're all "Oh wow! That's so awesome!" and you're all like "Yeah, whatever." and then they're all "No, SRSLY, that's AWESOME!" and you're like "Really?" and they're all "Yeah!" and you get all proud of yourself and then a bit guilty that you're feeling pride because it's one of the Seven Deadly Sins after all and you don't want to end up in a field shouting "WHAT'S IN THE FUCKIN' BOX?!" and finding spoilers in the spoiler. (Yes, I know the Statute of Limitations was up on Se7en years ago.)

But it's actually a pretty cool feeling. Particularly when you realise that rather than being someone quite a way down the "pecking order" of "talent", whatever your skill might be, you're actually pretty high up, and that people know that, realise that and respect you for it.

My skills that I'm most proud of? (Hi, Satan.) Music and writing. I'm sure there are ways I could improve both. I know for a fact I'm not as good a musician as many of my peers and friends, for example. But I'm satisfied with the skills I've got, I'm an awesome accompanist and my sight-reading skills are the stuff of legend. Amongst musicians. Who tell legends about sight-reading.

And my writing: if you're reading this, take a look at the number at the top. 265 days. That's how much I love my writing. 265 days of wanking on about bollocks, at least 500 words at a time. Some of it is bullshit. Some of it is profound. Some of it is non-descript. But I like all of it. I see some trusted friends, peers and colleagues being so very hard on themselves and their writing sometimes. And it actually makes me glad for once; while there are many things I would like to change and/or improve about myself, my writing is the one thing that I generally find myself feeling happy and satisfied with and, dare I say it, proud of.

So take a moment the next time you have a free second. Put down that celebrity gossip rag, that chocolate eclair or that tube of personal lubricant. Think about yourself. Think about what you're good at. And take a moment to give yourself a pat on the back. Well done. You do a great job on that thing you're really good at.

#oneaday, Day 226: Crossing the Musical Pond

Being in contact with people from all over the world is cool. You get to learn all sorts of interesting things about other people. Granted, the vast majority of people I know from "other" parts of the world are in the US and Canada. But despite the fact that many people believe the UK and US in particular to have a lot of similarities, one thing often comes up that reminds me that we are, in fact, different. And that's music.

I was talking to a new friend the other night. She lives in the mountains in Georgia (that's Georgia, US), a place where she says they didn't even "discover" rock music until very recently. Up until then, it was country, country, country all the way. I found it strange to contemplate the idea that an area would just be completely without a style of music that I take for granted.

But then it occurred to me. This happens all over the place. She educated me a bit in the ways of country—a style of music she'd only grown to appreciate recently herself—and I realised that over here, barring occasional anomalies like Shania Twain's brief incursion into the UK charts a few years back, we really don't "do" country over here. At least, not in any sort of mainstream way. We have other things instead. And we have equivalents for different areas.

Okay, so rural English accordion-based folk music isn't exactly the same as country. But it's music from rural areas. The intent is the same, if not the execution. Similarly, urban music in the UK shares some stylistic features with urban music from the US, but comes out rather differently. (I don't like either of them, which at least is something constant.)

In fact, about the only thing that is the same, as I allude to oh-so-subtly above, is the bland, manufactured pop crap. Some whiny twat with a stool and a spotlight bleating on about "oooh, girl" and probably pronouncing "you" as "joo" because that's how cool and/or non-white people do it. It's the same here as in the States.

These musical styles help people form a sense of identity. From the line-dancing country fans up in the mountains to the chavs blasting Dizzee Rascal at 0.5W out of their mobile phones ("blasting" probably wasn't the right word there…) on a street corner, these pieces of music give people a feeling of "belonging". They can attach themselves to it, identify themselves by it, bond with other people over it.

I don't have a particular style of music that I call "my own". As a musician, I've always been pretty fascinated by all styles of music. By exploring them, I've developed fairly eclectic tastes. I know what I like, and what I don't like. I tend to feel more strongly about the things I don't like than the things that I do like. And I don't feel particularly pressured into feeling that I "should" or "shouldn't" like a particular style of music just because of who it is. I've listened to Ke$ha's album, for example, and enjoyed it. (I believe I described it as "what would happen if Kelly Clarkson were forcibly inserted into a NES", which I think is a compliment in my world) I enjoyed the country that my friend introduced me to the other night (Lady Antebellum's "Need You Now" is a lovely song, incidentally). I don't find myself screaming over R&B and generic-sounding "urban" music because I've listened to it analytically and don't find any appeal elements in there for me personally, though I'm sure it has its uses. In fact, I almost appreciate it in the whole "darkened club" situation, but then if you drink enough you can come to appreciate pretty much anything. Get low, low, low, low.

So in summary, then? Music is good. Listen to whatever the hell you like and damn what other people think of you if they find out.

#oneaday, Day 144: Another Multimedia Extravaganza

More pictures with sound for your delectation tonight. This time I thought I'd experiment with some black and white photos. I hadn't originally intended to take the photos with a particular theme in mind, other than that I knew I wanted to try doing some black and white ones. When I loaded the pics onto my computer, though, it became apparent that I had managed to take pictures with almost no people in them whatsoever. This wasn't intentional, but it provided a theme for the set anyway. I shouldn't have told you that, you weren't to know, were you? Let's start again.

This is a set based on the theme of being alone.

Whew, got away with that, I think.

I can assure you that Southampton is just fine and has not suffered a 28 Days Later-style zombie apocalypse which emptied the streets. Some may say that's a shame. But there are a few nice people here, so I don't wish a zombie apocalypse on the whole place just yet. A few areas, perhaps.

The music for this particular slideshow is "Living with Determination" from Persona 3. It seemed a fittingly melancholy piece for the moody nature of the photos.

Overall, I'm pretty pleased with how these pictures came out, and with the overall effect of the slideshow as a whole. It was an interesting day to take photos, actually. You can probably see how the weather changed as my journey progressed – it started dull and cloudy, but the sun eventually came out. The clouds stuck around, though, making for some dramatic, stormy skies. Hence the many pictures of clouds!

I'm definitely going to do more of these, as they're fun and reasonably easy to put together. Plus it's yet another means of self-expression, which is always good.

I've always enjoyed photography over the years. I remember getting a bit bewildered by an old film-based SLR camera back home with my parents, and later getting my own point-and shoot cameras, taking bajillions of photos and often being complimented for my good composition. Obviously I'm no pro and haven't had any proper training, so I'm sure there's all sorts of things technically wrong with them that I can do better. But as I used to tell people who came in wanting to learn about iPhoto and Aperture – if you're not being paid for the pictures you take, whether or not you like them is the only important thing.

So true – for so many things besides photography, too. Sums up the whole idea of #oneaday, in fact, not to mention the photography-based variant #365. People are doing these things for themselves as a means to express themselves, develop their own skills and perhaps show off just a little bit. When other people end up appreciating your work, it's always a pleasant surprise. And if they don't like it, it's the old artist's defense – "it wasn't for them anyway".

So anyway. I hope you enjoy (or enjoyed) the slideshow. There will be more to come in the future as soon as I get back out there with my camera and get all snap-happy.

#oneaday, Day 139: Multimedia Extravaganza

It is indeed a multimedia extravaganza for you today as I share with you both pictures and sound! I even share them both at the same time! That's pretty exciting, isn't it. Admit it. You're a little excited right now at the prospect of pictures and sound at the same time. If you're not, you're either lying, or dead inside.

Err, anyway. Today was another one of those beautiful sunny days so, not having anything better to do and not having anyone to share it with, I decided to head out into the sunshine with my camera and take some pictures around the city. Turns out Southampton is actually not a bad-looking city in the sunshine. The city centre has an awful lot of green space, with about five parks all right next to each other. One of them was hosting some sort of arts festival today – there was live music, craft stalls and somewhere, apparently, workshops on things like drawing and making things.

I always find it interesting how wandering around with a camera makes you notice little things more. A flower with a bee on it, for example. If I didn't have a camera in my hand, I wouldn't have given that a second thought. But because "ooh, that makes a good photo", it gets noticed. It's also immensely annoying if you spot something that will make a good photo and you then miss the opportunity. I didn't have this problem much today. I even managed to get the bee.

I present to you, then, a YouTube video of some pictures from around Southampton. They're a fairly random selection, to be honest, and not necessarily particularly characteristic of the city itself. But they're things that my eye was drawn to today and thus up came the camera, click click, boom. Wait, not "boom". That's something else. The music in the video is the theme from Final Fantasy VII, played by me. Oh yes indeedy.

Yes, as well as taking those pictures, I also recorded a few more pieces for your delectation. Four today, in fact. Here they are. As usual, iPhone users should tap on the titles to hear them, while everyone else can use the Flash player and be smug twats about it.

Alone from Persona 4

Living with Determination from Persona 3

Final Fantasy VII Theme

Eyes on Me from Final Fantasy VIII

That's not quite my normal 500 words, I know. But I gave you multimedia. So I think you can let me off 80 words or so. Except by the time I've finished justifying my lack of words I'll probably have hit 500 words anyway. So I may as well keep going. I hope you all had a pleasant day. I did, although it was rather quiet. Still, it's nice to have quiet days sometimes, isn't it? Means you don't have to fill them with meaningless conversations and attempts to fill spaces that words should go in. Like this one that I'm filling right now. Oh yes. There's 500 words. Time to go.

Hope you enjoy the slideshow and music. Let me know what you think in the comments.

#oneaday, Day 137: Flower Girl

I am almost falling asleep on my keyboard here, so I'll keep this brief to prevent falling asleep with all the letters of the keyboard printed backwards across my face. I can barely keep my eyes open. I'm not sure why I'm so tired, though I have had people over this evening and I spent the first part of my day cleaning up in preparation for said visitors. We had a lovely evening, by the way, thanks for asking.

Earlier in the day I did get a moment to record one more piano piece. I posted it on Tumblr earlier but I'm not sure who got the chance to hear it. A few people did, I guess, and it even got a couple of reblogs. But I thought for those people who don't "do" Tumblr, I'd post it here too.

The song in question is Aerith, or Aeris, or Flower Girl or whatever you want to call it. It's the piece from Final Fantasy VII that makes everyone cry. There are two reasons for this – one, it's a beautiful piece of music, and two, the most memorable point of the game in which this piece of music is heard is where Aerith/s dies. (Oh come ON! Surely everyone who is ever going to play Final Fantasy VII knows that by now.) This scene is widely regarded by many as one of the first times where computer games genuinely started to encourage emotional investment in their narratives – at least on consoles. Developers of adventure games on PC had been trying this for a long time already, but Final Fantasy VII was the first mainstream console game which people admitted crying to.

It's a cliché and a bit of a joke these days, of course, but it was my brother telling me about the sheer emotion in the game that made me originally want to pick up Final Fantasy VII. I'd never touched an RPG prior to that point and had no idea what HP, MP and Limit Breaks were. My life was shortly to change forever.

The piece of music itself, though; it's always held a peculiarly personal meaning to me, and I can't pin down why that is. I think it possibly may be something to with the fact that the older Final Fantasy games allowed you to rename your characters, so in my game, it wasn't "Aerith" dying, it was someone I knew. This made it all the more traumatic.

When I play the piece nowadays, I don't necessarily think of someone dying. But I do always find myself thinking of someone. I always feel that the character of the piece represents gentle, total, unconditional love and/or affection towards someone. So inevitably while playing it I find myself thinking of someone special to me in some way. The exact person who comes to mind has changed many times over the years, but the reason for my thinking of them hasn't. They are important.

iPhone users, click here to hear the track. Everyone else, use the Flash player below.

#oneaday, Day 136: Massive Pianist

Some more music for you today as it's awfully late and I feel like I've been busy all day today, even though the only thing I achieved in the daytime was to buy two shirts which actually look good on me. Oh, and record these two pieces, of course.

A bit of background on these pieces for those who aren't familiar with them. Final Fantasy has been a big part of my life for many years – at least since Final Fantasy VII came out. I believe I've talked about the fond memories I have associated with this game in the past – the long, hot summer days, the thirty-six hour playing stint which culminated with my friend Woody and I suffering strange hallucinations of items that didn't exist in the game – but the thing that's stuck with me longer than the game itself is its music. FFVII was the first time I really noticed game music as a positive thing and, just to make this even more clichéd, it was One Winged Angel which impressed me the most.

After playing FFVII to death, I tracked down the previous games in the series, which I'd never experienced before, not really knowing what an RPG was before that point. I discovered that they, too, had great music, and not only that, there were piano arrangements available.

After a considerable amount of time searching, I managed to track down some dodgy scans of the piano scores for IV, V and VI. Later, I acquired genuine copies of the VII, VIII and IX books. The arrangements of the pieces are gorgeous – proper piano arrangements in a variety of styles rather than simple transcriptions. I've been playing them ever since and everyone seems to think that they're very "me".

Persona is a bit different. I came to Persona with the third game in the series a year or two back thanks to the Squadron of Shame. We even did a podcast about it. What struck nearly all of us about that series was its peculiarly quirky and enormously Japanese soundtrack. I was very interested to discover earlier this year that both Persona 3 and Persona 4 have piano scores available too. Unfortunately, they're not nearly as well-arranged as the Final Fantasy scores, but they certainly sound good enough – for some pieces at least. The J-hip-hop tracks don't sound particularly good on a piano, so there is no way I am ever playing any of them in public.

Much like Final Fantasy, the Persona games hold a very fond place in my heart. Rather than having memories attached to them, though, I found the stories of both games to be very emotionally resonant. I identified a great deal with many of the characters, as Persona deals a lot with friendships, personal identity and figuring out who you are, both in yourself and in relation to other people. While I can't point a fake gun at my head and summon a mythical beast to do my bidding, I do at least understand what some of the characters have been through, and empathise with others. It's rare that a game is written well enough for that to happen, so both games hold a special place in my heart.

Without further ado, then, here's two more pieces for your delectation. Just like last time, iPhone users can click on the titles to hear the tracks.

*pauses* I wish I'd remembered to upload these tracks before I started writing this. *drums fingers* Tra la la la la…

Aha! They're done. Here. *Enjoy* the *sauce*. And yes, I know there's a couple of bum notes. I was in a hurry. 🙂

The Oath from Final Fantasy VIII

Heaven from Persona 4

#oneaday, Day 134: Busy Days

Hello everyone! Apologies for the late hour. It's been a genuinely busy day today, despite it being a Bank Holiday (or Memorial Day if you want to be all American about it).

My day started with waking up several times, snoozing my alarm and then waking up again. The last snooze inexplicably went on a lot longer than the other ones so I had a minor panic when I woke up the last time, because I actually needed to get up today.

Why? I hear you ask. Well, today was my first performance in public for ages. What? I hear you ask. For those of you who don't know, I've been playing the piano for quite a long time now. Since the age of five, in fact. Which makes it… a long time that I've been playing. I haven't performed in public for quite a while, though, and my friend Sam assures me that he'd never heard me play in public before. I'm convinced otherwise, but he's very insistent on this matter. I know he certainly didn't see the last piano performance I did at university, which was a duet performance with one of the strangest people I've ever had the curious fortune to encounter in my life that was followed with one of the most memorable and terrifyingly inappropriate pub conversations I've ever experienced. Those who know who I'm talking about also know what the conversation was about. Those who don't… well, I feel it would be improper for me to discuss it here. Unless you really want to know, in which case leave me a comment and I'll tell you there.

So today was my first performance in public for ages. We've established that.

What did you play? I hear you ask. Demanding, aren't we? Perhaps you should stop asking so many questions and let me get on with my story because it's entirely possible I might have been about to tell you what I played. In fact, I'm half-tempted to just not tell you now.

Except that would make this blog entry run rather short and not allow me to include the lovely media that I'm about to. So I'll tell you.

A few years back, I discovered the Final Fantasy Piano Collections and managed to acquire most of them. Some of them I have the actual books of. The older ones I managed to track down some scans from the Internet. More recently, I managed to locate some piano scores for the music from Persona 3 and Persona 4. These respective series have some of my favourite music of all time, so I figured a public performance would be a good opportunity to spread the love and let other people know what they're all about. So that's what I did.

The event itself was part of Southampton's "Keys to the City" event, celebrating local arts and the piano in particular. Today's performance took place in the city's art gallery, tucked away on one side of the Civic Centre near the library. I got the impression not many people know about it. But there's a lovely Steinway piano there which has clearly been crying out to be used for some time, so my friend and ex-colleague Stephen McCleery of Retrograde Recordings helped to organise an event to give it a bit of attention.

Here's three of the pieces I performed. I'll be recording the others over the next few days, so there's a few posts ready to go if I'm short of inspiration!

If you're reading this on an iPhone, don't get pissy about the Flash audio players not working. I've been good enough to supply direct links to the files. Just click on the title. I'm good to you people. Not every blog would do that, you know.

Anyway… enjoy. More to come over the next few days.

Main Theme from Persona 4

Prologue from Final Fantasy

Velvet Room from Persona 3

#oneaday, Day 50: Old Men Rant At The Hit Parade

Caution: YouTube frenzy ahead.

There's a lot of shit music around at the moment. One only has to look at this week's top 40 to see most of it. Let's explore it, shall we? Call it a cultural exchange.

Before I go any further, I would like to add that I don't hate black people, despite whatever you might interpret from my song choices which follow. I just hate shit music. And a lot of it happens to be by black artists. I can't think of any awards ceremony I would like to attend less than the MOBO's. Not that I particularly want to go to any awards ceremonies, ever. But I digress. Let's dig into the sewers of the UK music scene, shall we?

Hanging in there at number 40, we have Sidney Samson's Riverside. A song that starts in an atonal, idiotic place and then goes nowhere fast.

This is one of those songs that thinks that having a single hook of about four bars long is enough to build an entire song around. And to be fair, the philistines of the world don't appear to know any better, as this song has been lurking around the charts for quite some time. But it has no depth to it. There's no development. At all. The whole song is that irritating twangy synth line and some twat saying "Riverside, motherfucker" over the top of it. What does that even mean? Don't answer that, because I really don't give a shit.

Next up, number 30 sees Florence and the Machine performing You Got The Love.

Now, I have a lot of time for Florence, in that she can actually sing, has a distinctive voice and has a band with actual instruments in it. But this song? Ugh. It was already the most overplayed song in the world before she covered it, and with her and her machine being one of the most overplayed bands in the UK at the moment, you get an irritating song which is never more than five minutes away from when you turn the radio on.

One space below that, we have Iyaz and Replay, the first of many whiney black men in the charts today.

I find something profoundly irritating about this style of music. Perhaps it's the fact that one song in this style is virtually indistinguishable from another. Perhaps it's the gratuitous mentioning of iPods in the lyrics (I have a weird thing where I think that mentioning brand names or things/people that actually exist is somehow obnoxious. Don't ask me to explain why, because I can't.) Perhaps it's just the fact it's a shit song. Who knows?

Moving up the charts, we have Jay-Z ruining a perfectly good Alicia Keys song at number 28.

Alicia Keys can actually sing, so why she needs a douche like Jay-Z babbling his nonsense over the top of it is anyone's guess. To her credit, the infinitely superior version of the song, with no rapping and just Alicia singing, is currently at number 6, proving it is indeed possible to polish a turd.

At 26, we have the Helping Haiti record.

I have nothing against charity records. But I fucking hate this song. And every charity song there has been in the last few years has been of this ilk – slow, boring, dirge-like and filled with "celebrities" trying to outdo each other vocally. Ignore this drivel and just donate directly to the charities if you feel that strongly about it.

At 22, we have another whining black man, this time accompanied by a shouting black man and Sean Paul, who sadly isn't dead. It's Jay Sean, Sean Paul and Lil Jon with Do You Remember.

This is just awful. And on a side note, compare Jay Sean's singing with Iyaz's. I defy you to tell them apart. The only thing which sets this record apart is Lil Jon's incoherent shouting and Sean Paul's incoherent burbling. At least it isn't a full-on Sean Paul record. I thought we had got rid of him for good. Sadly, he's still about, but at least it's only in a "Ft." role.

I, of course, couldn't let Glee slide. They're at number 20.

Golden rule: Leave Journey alone. Golden rule number two: If you must cover Journey, don't turn it into a wet fart of a song. This song breaks both of those rules.

This next song is unforgivable purely for the fact it uses the Flintstone-based chat-up line. It's Young Money with Bed Rock, at number 18. I am sure you can guess the line which is used.

In other news… it's some rappers "singing" about fucking. In their video they wear lots of gold. Stereotype much?

At number 12, Gramophonedzie do their best to destroy everyone's favourite memories of Jessica Rabbit.

This song brings back unpleasant memories of Audio Bullys [sic] molesting Nancy Sinatra's Bang Bang a year or two back. So, to make it all better, here's a far superior version.

Mmm… Jessica Rabbit. Err, where was I?

Oh, right. Number 5. Does this one, by any chance, sound familiar?

That's right. The most overplayed song in the world by the most overplayed band in the UK now has the most overrated babbling twat spouting chavvy nonsense over the top of it. I don't think anything else needs to be said.

Just time to stop off at number 3, and Jason Derulo's In My Head, whiney black man number 3.

Pro tip for Mr Derulo: Singing your own name at the start of a song wasn't cool when Craig David did it. It still isn't now. Plus, your song is shit and sounds like every other whiney black man out there. Shut up.

And finally – I've saved the best for last – it's the current UK number 1, the appallingly spelled Tinie Tempah and Pass Out.

I'm going to say nothing about this song… but I am going to share the lyrics with you after the jump (if you're on the front page, click this post's title or the "Read More" link below to read the full thing in all its… err… "glory"), and you can make your own mind up. Bear in mind this is the current number 1 in the charts. Once you've listened to it and read the lyrics you might understand why I mourn the UK music scene's sorry state. So without further ado, I leave you with Tinie Tempah. The twat.

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