#oneaday Day 638: Job Satisfaction

I'm pleased with the upcoming videos I've got on the way. The fact that I got so many done in a big batch felt good, and I feel like they cover some interesting subject matter, too — including both a few well-known titles and, of course, some lesser-known stuff too.

I enjoy what I do a great deal — and, more to the point, I actually feel like I do a pretty good job at it, both in terms of my written work and my video work.

The latter in particular is something i'm especially pleased with; a few years back I would never really have considered doing what I did when I started Atari A to Z– let alone showing my face on video rather than providing audio-only commentary. It's help me develop a certain degree of confidence in myself; as I've noted numerous times on these pages, I am not someone who is especially self-confident, and I have particular difficulty making small talk with people I don't know particularly well (or indeed at all) and, on top of that, I have all sorts of body image issues that cause me varying degrees of anxiety.

Making videos has helped with that to a certain degree. I still don't like what I see when I look in the mirror — and I know I need to make an effort to do something about that — but, for some reason, I'm not ashamed of seeing my face on video, nor am I ashamed of hearing my voice.

That last one is a big deal. I used to hate my voice. I didn't even like it all that much when I regularly appeared on the Squadron of Shame SquadCast, the old podcast I did 10+ years ago, but I especially hated it when I was a kid. There are various reasons for that, but I guess they were insecurities that it was possible to get past. That and having a good microphone helps more than you can possibly imagine; getting something that gives your voice a bit of "presence" (mostly through a bit of body to the bass end of things) makes a world of difference.

I'm just sort of rambling now, I'm aware. But I just wanted to say thanks for continuing to support what I do, and for believing in it. I'm muddling my way through all this without any real long-term plan, and I'm enjoying it along the way. I wish I could make enough money from doing this to make it my full-time job — but for now at least, it's a means of directing my energy, and my enthusiasm for the things that have always been important to me.

Knowing that there are some lovely people following along on this journey with me is a wonderful feeling, so thank you for being here. Tell your friends!