#oneaday Day 520: Breaking

I can feel my mental health drifting towards breaking point. I'm not specifically upset with the lockdown situation, but I am completely fed up with how futile my day job feels right now. I've reached a point where I'm regretting not volunteering for furlough at 80% pay when it was offered, but I'm too late to do that now.

The last couple of days online have been… unpleasant, too. The "discussion" that I alluded to yesterday has been continuing today, and I've seen some extremely unpleasant behaviour from people who really should know better. And, of course, no-one is listening to one another on the matter; everyone is just bellowing into the void, absolutely convinced that they are "right", and that everyone who disagrees are varying degrees of awfulness.

I'm really tired of this. I enjoy interacting with people via social media and Discord a lot of the time, but it's exhausting when things become overwhelmingly negative. I write what I do and I make the videos I do because I want to share the enjoyment and value I get from gaming with other people; others, it seems, want nothing more than to tear down anything they don't "like", usually for ill-informed reasons.

I hasten to add nothing bad has happened as a result of anything I've specifically posted anywhere; I'm just tired of seeing people I care about having to defend themselves from online assholes. I feel empathy for them, and I swear more often than not I end up feeling worse than they do!

Anyway, I've requested a week off at the end of the month. A week "off" during this lockdown may not seem smart, but, well, I'm unlikely to be going anywhere on an actual holiday at this rate, and I just need a break to relax, rest and recharge a bit. Plus, all being well, I'll have the Evercade in my hands by then, so I'll be able to use that week to prepare a whole host of good stuff about that device and the games available for it, which I'm looking forward to a great deal.

Just gotta make it there first…