#oneaday Day 459: First full day away

After that curious no-man's land that is the first day of one's holiday yesterday — the period where you spend most of your time travelling and getting settled — today was our first full day of rest and relaxation. And it's been thoroughly pleasant. We haven't done very much, but I have certainly enjoyed what we have done so far — and the day isn't over yet.

I promised myself before we went away that I would try and be at least a little bit active while we were away. I am really feeling every one of my years and every one of my stones right now, so I made a little commitment to myself: I would buy the £15 gym pass for while we were here, and I'd go and do a little something each day. I also (correctly) determined that the walk to and from the complex where the gym is would almost certainly be adequate cardio, so that would leave me free to focus on some strength training, which is probably what I really need at this point.

As it turned out, the signposts pointing to the "sports plaza" where the gym is told me a little white lie: while the Center Parcs app suggested a walking route that was less than a mile, the way the signposts took me actually ended up being a whole lot longer. Not a terrible thing from a health perspective, but a slight shock to the system when I was expecting something a little shorter. In total I reckon it was probably about a mile and a half rather than the 0.7 miles I was expecting — I know for "fit" folks that probably doesn't sound like very much, but believe me when I say my body is in a right old state.

The gym here is tiny, but it was also completely deserted when I went there, which was absolutely fine by me, as it meant I could take my time over the exercises I wanted to do, and wouldn't have to feel self-conscious about anything other than the full-length mirror that allowed me to gaze upon my disgusting carcass in its entirety while doing exercises. Oh well. The very fact I was in the gym should make me feel a little better about things, as at least I'm taking some steps — and my thinking is that if I can smash through that initial "wall" of resistance to exercise while I'm here and have no other stressors or distractions to worry about, I will hopefully be able to maintain some better habits when we get back home, too.

Thus far it has just been nice to be away. No notifications from Microsoft Teams, no social media garbage, no Discord, no people PMing me for customer service issues. I needed this escape, and I feel like I need to make a few changes at work when I get back. Those are things to consider on my return, though. In the meantime, I'm just going to enjoy this pleasant forest retreat, the lovely surroundings, the wildlife that occasionally comes to visit, the swimming pool, the private bubbly bath we have and, of course, the good food. All of life's worries can wait until after I get back.

After all, that's what a holiday is supposed to be about, right?

Want to read my thoughts on various video games, visual novels and other popular culture things? Stop by MoeGamer.net, my site for all things fun where I am generally a lot more cheerful. And if you fancy watching some vids on classic games, drop by my YouTube channel.

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#oneaday Day 458: A salute to Maru

It's a shame to start my holiday by responding to some bad news, but I couldn't let the passing of such a beloved figure pass without acknowledgement.

I am, of course, referring to the very sad departure of Maru, the Scottish Fold cat who has been a YouTube star since 2008, making him one of the original sources of "cat videos", that ever-reliable activity of those who can't think of anything better to do on the Internet. His owner announced the sad news yesterday, and I have to confess, it made me very sad indeed.

I know first-hand how hard it is to lose a pet. It is like losing a family member. Hell, it is losing a family member. It may be a family member who cannot speak in the same way as we can, it may be a family member who doesn't go out and get a job in the same way we can (although I bet in his own way Maru "earned his keep" in monetary terms!) but it doesn't make them any less important or meaningful to our existences.

Maru's passing is so sad because he was not only clearly a truly beloved pet for his owner, he was effectively a pet of the entire Internet. While I feel the number of people who know who you are referring to when you say "Maru" these days has declined somewhat compared to, say, ten years ago, he has still, without a doubt, touched hundreds of thousands of lives, possibly even millions. In some cases, he may have touched people's lives without them knowing who he was, but the joy he would have brought them in that brief encounter is something truly remarkable.

Maru was a cat with personality. He had a distinct attitude about him, and he clearly behaved in ways that he enjoyed. Granted, I suspect his owner would have "encouraged" him to engage in behaviours that made good videos, but I suspect those behaviours initially emerged completely organically. Our own cats both do silly and hilarious things, completely unprompted by us, so I have little to no doubt that one day, Maru would have just spontaneously leapt into a cardboard box, or belly-slid his way into a beer bottle multipack casing.

He also loved to fit himself into things that were not cat-shaped, such as boxes that were too small for him, and even glass bowls. Again, I suspect this is something that almost certainly happened naturally one day, and then he may well have been "encouraged" to do this a little more often for the sake of some videos. But I certainly don't begrudge Maru's owner — still mysterious and perpetually off-screen to this day, without even their gender being widespread knowledge — any of the fame their beloved cat attained during his long and very clearly happy lifetime.

Maru enjoyed 18 joyful years on this planet, and during this time he must have been one of the most loved pets in the entire world. Because, like I say, not only did he have the love of his owner — who clearly adored him — but he also had the love of pretty much the entire world, too. There aren't many individuals in this world who can truly say that; there aren't many people who can truly claim to be universally beloved, regardless of nationality, language, background, socioeconomic status, gender, ethnicity, sexuality or any of the other things you might care to mention that act as ways of dividing ourselves from one another.

Maru was a universal. Maru felt like he would be a constant. Sadly, he has gone to a better place now, but I suspect he will continue to be remembered and loved for many years to come. We love you, Maru, and I hope that one day we will have the chance to see you again.

I'll leave you with the tearjerking words of his owner, posted today, and I'm sure we all join them in saluting our dear, departed, beloved cat and the wonderful life he head.

"I'm lonely, so be sure to be born again soon!" I said to him insistently, but he is by nature a laid-back cat, and I wonder if he is relaxing in the sky now. But he loves to surprise us, so I'll wait patiently, hoping for a surprise from him.

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#oneaday Day 457: A statement of intent

Hello! Tomorrow I am going on holiday, and I am using this as something of a "cutoff point" in an attempt to improve my own mental health and get me out of a rut I've been feeling for a long time at this point. I have written about this previously, but please consider this a "final warning" of sorts.

This isn't intended to be a dramatic flouncing off into the sunset in the hope that someone will take pity on me. It is simply a statement of what I intend to do, because my present online existence is absolutely crippling my mental health, and I need to do something proactive to resolve the situation.

Day in, day out, I feel beaten down and depressed by the constant negativity online, and a big part of it is my own fault for engaging with platforms where negativity gets rewarded. But it's not just that; everyone has been exceedingly down for a long time now, at least partly due to the disruption we all suffered during the COVID years, not to mention the horrible things going on in politics and society in general right now. And that, unfortunately, often means that communities I would otherwise enjoy being a part of often find themselves being relentlessly negative.

It's not a malicious attempt by anyone to drag everyone else down, but that often ends up being the net effect. And continually being surrounded by that has not been healthy for me.

And so, as loathe as I am to further isolate myself in a world where I already feel like I've lost most of my "real life" friends, I am going to be taking the following steps for my own digital wellbeing:

I will be deactivating my Bluesky account for at the very least the duration of my holiday.
I will be leaving a significant number of Discord communities that I am currently part of.
I will be focusing the majority of my online presence on this blog, MoeGamer (my video game blog) and Scratch Pad (my creative writing site).
I will only be contactable via email (you can use the Get In Touch page on this site if you don't know my email address), Discord messages in the communities I remain active in (plus Discord DMs if we are friends on that platform), Google Chat if you know my email address, or WhatsApp private message if you know my phone number. I also occasionally pop in to the Giant Bomb forums as "angryjedi".

I am sorry to disappoint the two people who were enjoying my #365games thread on Bluesky.

I would also like to add that none of this is personal and that none of this has been triggered by a particular individual. This is all a "me" thing that I've been thinking about for a while; an attempt to reclaim my own life and brain from the digital realm.

As noted above, it's not as if I am going to disappear completely. I can still be contacted via the above means, and I encourage you to do so! It'd be nice to have a private conversation with some of you, away from the noise of social media, so drop me an email or a direct message if that sounds like something you might like. I would certainly appreciate it.

Anyway, that's that. I will be taking the above steps this evening before I go to bed, so I can start my holiday "fresh" in the morning. Thanks for your time and attention, and I hope I'll hear from some of you via non-social media means soon!

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#oneaday Day 456: Lidl has the best trolleys

You know what I always like stumbling across online? Hyper-specific posts about something I suspect no-one else has ever written about. So, with that in mind, today I want to talk about how much I like the trolleys you get at Lidl, the popular "budget" supermarket we have here in the UK. Or, more specifically, the trolleys we have at our local Lidl, as I have no idea if these are "standard" nationwide or not.

Most supermarket trolleys, you see, have some sort of issue with them. Many of them are too shallow, or too deep, for example. Lidl's are just the right depth: deep enough to allow plenty of room for a substantial shop if that's what you needed, while shallow enough to ensure that reaching into the trolley to get the last few items out isn't difficult.

This seems like something that it should be easy to get right, given how long supermarket trolleys have been in existence, but no; head over to Tesco or Sainsbury's these days, and your choices are the not-quite-deep-enough-but-easy-to-use almost flatbed ones, and the super-deep-can't-reach-that-last-tin-of-beans-without-putting-your-back-out deep ones. At least that is a slight improvement from my memories of going shopping with my Mum as a child, when I'm pretty sure only the super-deep ones were ever an option.

The best thing about Lidl trolleys, though, is their handles. Most trolleys take a simple, utilitarian approach to their handles, providing a simple plastic bar for one to grip onto and push the thing around the store. This is a perfectly acceptable approach, but there's been no real thought given to ergonomics. Depending on your height, for example, you may find the bar to be too high or too low to be truly comfortable, necessitating either bending over to push the trolley (which can, at times, be desirable if you're feeling a bit tired — and I'm sure we've all felt "supermarket fatigue" at one point or another) or, if you're a shorty, bending your arms at an awkward angle to reach the bar.

Lidl's trolleys, meanwhile, take a different approach. They still have the bar, yes, but at either end of it, they have a sticky-up handle. Not only that, but the sticky-up handle is contoured to match the shape of a hand really nicely; there's even a little dip to put your thumb in that only feels like it's missing a "fire lasers" button to be truly flawless. Holding on to one of these trolleys and pushing it around is a genuine pleasure, and that's not something I ever thought I'd say about a supermarket trolley. The handles make it feel like you're gripping a flight yoke like the one from the old Star Wars arcade game, and this makes pushing a trolley around infinitely more exciting if you have any surviving imagination cells in your brain. Because you can then imagine that you are blasting the people in front of you who are going way too slowly around the middle aisle because the novelty of "The Middle of Lidl" hasn't worn off for them yet into fiery oblivion.

Or perhaps it's just nice to feel like someone has thought about what is often a tedious, unpleasant, annoying experience and tried to make it, in some way, just a little bit more pleasant and comfortable for everyone.

Regardless of how you feel about the above, Lidl has the best trolleys. And I hope this design becomes a little more widespread.

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#oneaday Day 455: The Last Banana

I finished Donkey Kong Bananza this evening. I know I said I did that the other day, but I properly finished it this evening — all 777 collectible bananas and all the fossils (collecting all of which is, I was dismayed to discover very late, a prerequisite for getting all of the bananas) then completing the game's monstrously difficult final challenge in order to get… a slightly underwhelming "true" ending, to be honest, but I don't begrudge the game the additional time I spent with it. In fact, some of the game's best platforming challenges are found in the endgame sequence, so it's very much a case of "the journey is more important than the destination" here.

I mostly stuck to my desire to not use a guide for Donkey Kong Bananza, and I'm glad I did that, because dear Lord, a lot of the guides, even from "big" sites out there, are full of wrong information, or outright handwaving away the possibility of providing helpful information, largely because I suspect the author hadn't actually completed the game in some cases. I know this because the absolute final challenge in the postgame is something that could really do with a helpful walkthrough, and all one guide from a big site offered was a paragraph basically saying "use everything you've learned to clear these challenges" without going into any detail whatsoever. Good job!

Another guide even promised to "explain the ending", after there was some pre-release discussion on where this game might fit in "Nintendo canon", if such a thing even exists — then went on to post an entire article that basically shrugged its shoulders and went "I dunno, it's all speculation really". Clickbait at its absolute finest. No wonder the games press — and indeed the whole Internet — is dying.

But anyway. One of the nice things about Donkey Kong Bananza is that it has built-in hint functions. You have to pay the in-game price for them, but by the time you're doing the "cleaning up" required for the postgame, you will generally have plenty of the currency required to purchase these hints, along with a selection of powers that make 1) searching for hidden items and 2) acquiring more of said currency much easier. Consequently, on the few times I did peep at a guide, I found it didn't really help matters, and I inevitably found myself better off just exploring the game for myself and stumbling across things. The game is well-designed enough that you can just piss around and discover pretty much everything it has to offer, and that's testament to Nintendo's skills at making games like this — even with the added wrinkle of almost entirely destructible levels.

So, yeah. I really enjoyed Donkey Kong Bananza. I'm glad. I had a feeling it would be good, because I really enjoyed Super Mario Odyssey, and the same team worked on this. I had my misgivings, because I've never really had a lot of time for Donkey Kong as a character, but I must say, spending a considerable amount of time in his company has brought me around on him. Granted, he's almost as much of a blank slate as his stablemates Mario and Link in terms of characterisation — he has no dialogue whatsoever, despite the other "Kongs" you encounter being able to talk — but his goofy facial expressions and his interactions with Pauline are consistently delightful. Not only that, but they evolve over the course of the game as a whole; the eventual close relationship between Pauline and DK by the end of the game is rather heartwarming to see — even if in the "normal", pre-postgame ending, DK comes across as a bit of a selfish dickhead. It's at times like that you have to remember that he is, in fact, a gorilla.

Donkey Kong Bananza is a great addition to Nintendo's pretty flawless record of first-party games, then. It's definitely a good showcase of the Switch 2, even if other titles in this regard are a bit thin on the ground, and absolutely worth the money, time and effort to fully enjoy it. I'll remember this fondly for a very long time, I feel. But now I need to go to bed!

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#oneaday Day 454: The Black Crochan

I mentioned a while back that I'd started reading The Chronicles of Prydain by Lloyd Alexander, the series of novels that the Disney movie The Black Cauldron was loosely based on — and which, in turn, the Sierra adventure game The Black Cauldron (my first encounter with the series) was even more loosely based on.

The other night, I finished reading the second book in the series. Much like the best-known book in the Chronicles of Narnia series is the second one (The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe), so too, it seems, is the case for The Chronicles of Prydain. Because the second book in the series is the one called The Black Cauldron. But if you're only familiar with the Disney movie or the Sierra game, it's around here that things diverge a bit more wildly.

Y'see, in the Disney movie, the Big Bad of the piece was the Horned King. And he was terrifying. He was terrifying in the 160×200 chunky pixel graphics of the Sierra game and, while I haven't watched the Disney movie yet (though I did acquire it on DVD recently) I am given to understand that he is even more frightening in fully animated form.

But in the actual books — spoiler, I guess, though I'm not apologising for it, given that we're talking about a series from the mid-1960s — The Horned King is offed rather unceremoniously at the end of the first book, The Book of Three, and this is well before protagonist Taran and his buddies have come anywhere even vaguely close to the Black Cauldron itself. As the name suggests, it's not until the second book, The Black Cauldron, that Taran and company set off on a quest to deal with the infernal thing once and for all, and the whole situation is resolved rather differently to how things happen in the movie — and in the game, which is different again.

To be clear, I don't mind these differences at all. If anything, it makes experiencing The Black Cauldron in all its different forms all the more worthwhile. It makes sense for the movie to have a more self-contained story with fewer characters — and for the game to be even more limited in scope. The book has no such constraints, meanwhile, and as such there's a much stronger feeling of "fantasy epic" to the whole thing.

Thus far I've found the whole thing to strike an excellent balance between readability and not treating the reader like a moron. Lloyd Alexander respects the intelligence of his readers, but he doesn't overwhelm them with difficult prose, over-elaborate descriptions or pretentious language. Instead, we get a clear story with some well-crafted characters and some genuine stakes to the action.

I particularly want to highlight his character work. While many of the characters in the series are relatively simplistic — Taran in particular is clearly intended for the young male reader to project himself onto — there are some definite standouts. As mentioned in my previous piece on The Book of Three, I am thoroughly enamoured with the Princess Eilonwy, who takes her place alongside Ce'Nedra from David Eddings' The Belgariad/Malloreon and Lady Mandragorina from Douglas Hill's Talents series as one of my favourite spunky, sassy princesses. She might even be my favourite to date. The girl's got bite, but she also knows when to switch it off and be supportive. Since she and Taran are clearly going to end up together, I'll preemptively say that he's a lucky man.

Anyway, I'm yet to start the third volume of the series — I'll likely kick that off once we're on holiday — but I've been really enjoying it so far. Looking forward to reading the rest, for sure — and, as I've previously said, very sorry and frustrated with myself that I've never read it prior to today!

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#oneaday Day 453: The Generation Game

There's been some resurrected discussion today on the subject of "video game console generations", primarily based on a month-old Bluesky post from a member of the Video Game History Foundation describing them as largely unhelpful, and something that serious video game historians don't rely on at all. He posited that "generations" were made up by a Wikipedia editor in the early 2000s, and people have just sort of accepted them as "gospel" ever since.

As another part of the discussion, others have objected to descriptors like "8-bit", "16-bit" and suchlike for similar reasons.

My feelings on the subject are relatively straightforward. I agree that the "generation" thing isn't necessarily helpful — if someone uses it, I always have to look them up and check which one is which, particularly when people like EA attempt to redefine what the "generations" were, as they did around the start of the PS4 era — but I don't have a problem with "8-bit", "16-bit", "32-bit" and the like — up to a point. Dreamcast was the last console that people really referred to in terms of its "bits" ("128-bit") and that didn't really catch on; after that people just sort of… gave up, perhaps because console architecture became a bit more complicated. I don't actually know why we stopped talking "bits", but we did.

Anyway, one area where I do disagree a little with what appeared to be emerging as the popular consensus is that I think it is helpful to stratify computer and video gaming technology in terms of rough contemporaries, because while numbering generations isn't necessarily helpful, saying that the Atari 8-bit, ZX Spectrum, Commodore 64, Apple II, Amstrad CPC and numerous others all coexisted at the same point in history — though some endured longer than others — is useful.

If you consider rough contemporaries, you get into some interesting overlapping territories, too, such as where the Commodore 64 and Spectrum were happily coexisting with the Atari ST and Amiga, or where the Super NES was still holding its own against early PlayStation games. Those are interesting periods of history to talk about, not least because the "outgoing" hardware tends to have thoroughly fascinating (and often quite hard-to-come-by) games released during those curious times of overlap. And this is to say nothing of the fact that the "generations" of home computers work a bit differently to those of the consoles, especially since it pretty much went "8-bit, 16-bit, PC" and then sort of stopped when "PC" became a thing unto itself.

I think it is also helpful to distinguish distinct groups of computer and gaming hardware by their capabilities, also. Again using the home computers as an example, there is an obvious technological leap between the ZX Spectrum and the Amiga. There's another massive difference between the NES and Super NES. Those differences aren't all down to the "bits" of course — in most cases, it's more about the custom hardware and its capabilities, hence how the "8-bit" PC Engine is more commonly considered as a contemporary and rival of something like the Mega Drive rather than the NES — but there are clear moments when the industry has gone "we're releasing something new now, and it's going to be way more impressive than anything you've ever seen before".

I actually think it's somewhat easy to forget quite how fast things moved in the '80s and '90s, since today's technological advancements, particularly in terms of visual fidelity, have slowed to a crawl. There was another good post recently about how you could have released a game from ten years ago (like Metal Gear Solid V) today, completely unchanged, and no-one would know it wasn't a brand new game. That certainly wasn't the case ten years ago, and not at any point prior to that, either. Things were moving just so quickly that it was kind of mindblowing to see.

And it's easy to forget how surprisingly early some of these advancements happened, too. The Atari ST and Amiga came out in 1985, when the 8-bit home computers were still thriving — hence the considerable years of crossover. The PlayStation came out (late in) the same year as Super Metroid, Sonic the Hedgehog 3, Earthbound and Donkey Kong Country, all games that most would probably agree were released while the SNES and Mega Drive were in their absolute prime.

So yes. Numbered generations are kind of stupid. But I do think there's value in looking at the things that were coexisting at a given moment — and at the notable leaps forward computer and gaming technology was taking throughout the 1980s and 1990s in particular.

I guess, as with everything, the real value is in just saying what you actually mean rather than trying to find a catch-all shorthand — if only because that catch-all shorthand often assumes knowledge that not everyone has. Same reason I don't like using "Metroidvania" or "JRPG"; much better to be specific about these things and say what you really mean. In an age of attention-deficit "short-form content", being verbose and detailed can actually make you stand out quite a bit. In a good way.

At least I hope so, because I'm not changing.

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#oneaday Day 452: Creepy, kooky, mysterious and spooky

Now I've got the MiSTer Multisystem 2 up and running to my satisfaction (not helped by some sort of accident corrupting the entire SD card's filesystem, necessitating a complete reinstall of everything — I'm running games from an external hard drive now, and have taken a complete backup of the system software!) I have been enjoying the pleasurable experience of being able to sit down in front of my old faithful Sony Trinitron CRT and play… pretty much anything I want up to the Saturn, PS1 and N64 era.

As you will doubtless know if you've been following me for any length of time, I am a passionate advocate for physical releases of video games. My living room is effectively a games library, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

But I must say, there is an absolute, definite appeal to having a dedicated box that I can boot up, say "I feel like playing [insert game name here]" and be doing so within a matter of seconds. No fiddling around with SCART cables needed. No digging out the correct power adapter required. No blowing on cartridge pins or isopropyl alcohol on cotton buds required.

Not only that, but a significant portion of software that one can play on the MiSTer has been creeping into "unattainably expensive and/or hard-to-find" territory over the course of the last few years — particularly anything from the 16-bit or 32-bit platforms, and especially role-playing games. I could drop several hundred quid on a copy of Panzer Dragoon Saga, or I could just play it on MiSTer. The choice is pretty clear.

"Now hold on a minute, good sir," I hear you say. "Don't you work in official retro gaming rereleases?" And to that I say, yes, absolutely, I most certainly do. But unfortunately, however much many of us might want them, there are some games that are never, ever, ever going to get an official rerelease for all manner of different reasons. And in those cases in particular, there is zero shame to be felt in experiencing them via… let's just call them "unofficial" preservation methods.

But anyway. I want to talk a bit more specifically about one of those unofficially preserved games I have been playing and enjoying for the past few evenings. It's not a particularly rare or hard-to-find game to my knowledge (checks CEX — £12 loose, £38 complete in box at the time of writing) but it is one I have some fond memories of, and one that I doubt will ever get an official rerelease. It's Ocean's The Addams Family, a platformer based loosely (very loosely) on the 1991 movie, and which was available on numerous different platforms; I've been playing the SNES version.

I'm actually not entirely sure how I attained those memories, mind, because I never owned a copy of The Addams Family on any platform back in the day. I might have had a demo of the ST version (which is surprisingly competent) but I certainly never had the full game on anything. But I definitely played it.

What I suspect happened is that on one of my brother's trips home to visit us — by this point he had left home to go and work on Games-X magazine at Europress up in Macclesfield — he had brought a SNES with him, and one of the cartridges he had also brought along was The Addams Family. The only other possible alternative is that one of my friends from school had it — and I don't think they did. My main SNES-owning buddy at school played various versions of Street Fighter II almost to the exclusion of everything else (although I did borrow Super Star Wars multiple times from him), and my other main console-playing friend was a Mega Drive man.

Anyway, I guess that isn't really important. What is important is that The Addams Family for SNES left a solid impression on me, with probably the most potent part of that memory being the amusing farty noises that play whenever Gomez jumps on an enemy (fart-POP!) or if he takes damage (breathless clown car-horn HONK). Aside from those excellent sound effects (and they are excellent; it's been a delight to hear them again), I remember simply enjoying the game a great deal, too, and I'm pleased to report that It Holds Up.

Lest you've never played The Addams Family on SNES (or any of the other platforms it appeared on), you take on the role of Gomez, who is attempting to rescue the various members of his family from… some sort of unfortunate circumstance that was probably a flimsy reference to the movie's plot. I forget. It doesn't matter. What does matter is that your quest unfolds as an open-structure 2D platformer that eschews a linear level-based structure in favour of giving you a big, open map, the vast majority of which is open to you from the outset, and then inviting you to just get on with it.

I'm not sure I'd call The Addams Family a "Metroidvania", largely because that term can get in the bin, but also because I'm not sure its commonly agreed definition applies here. Sure, you have a big open map to explore, but areas are not gated by abilities that you gradually acquire as you progress. Instead, only the finale sequence is gated by you having completed the rest of the game, and you are otherwise left to tackle the game's various challenges in whatever order you see fit.

These challenges are upgrading your health bar three times, then finding Wednesday, Pugsley, Granny and Fester Addams in whatever order you please. (You can even find them before the health upgrades if you want to, but the extra hearts make it much easier.) After that, the door to the final challenge, where you can rescue Morticia and take on the game's final boss, opens up and you're on the way to beating the game.

Being developed by Ocean, one would expect The Addams Family to have a certain "Euro" feel to it, and this comes across in its structure, with each of the game's main areas being split into named rooms that give a hint as to what hazards the player can expect in there; there's definite shades of classic home computer games like the Dizzy series and Spellbound from the Magic Knight series here, but rather than being single screens, each room in The Addams Family is a scrolling mini-level in its own right.

Thankfully, the game resists the temptation to get a bit too Euro in its structure, as while it is non-linear and often presents the player with multiple possible routes, it's not really possible to get "lost", and any necessary backtracking is generally assisted by helpful shortcuts. There's no map to refer to, either; while it might have been helpful to have one, after spending a bit of time with the game you'll find it pretty intuitive to navigate. The real joy is in discovering the game's many, many, many secret areas.

The Addams Family drew some criticism on its original release for being "derivative" — and by that most reviewers meant that because you jump on enemies' heads, it's a Super Mario clone. And, to be sure, there were a lot of 16-bit platformers around at the time, many of which were based on popular movies.

But for me, something always stood out about The Addams Family, even with its many peers in the genre. It was slick, well-designed and enjoyable to play — and I'm pleased to report that it is still all of those things. It's been a genuine pleasure revisiting it over the course of the past few evenings, and I'm looking forward to creeping my way gradually towards beating it. I've already got all the heart upgrades and rescued Wednesday; next up is Granny, Pugsley or Uncle Fester. It'll be great to finally tick this off my list — and I suspect it won't be the last time I play it through once I've beaten it, either.

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#oneaday Day 451: Random encounters

Popular Internet wisdom has it that you should never read the comments. And, for the most part, this is fairly sound advice. Because if you do read the comments, there is a significantly greater-than-zero percent chance that you will run into someone like "Steven Woolf" here, a thoroughly disagreeable individual who did me the questionable courtesy of leaving a particularly rancid comment on a five year old MoeGamer article earlier today:

I have never encountered this person before. Their email address was unfamiliar to me. The fact they showed up in the comments of an article from five years ago suggests to me that they stumbled across MoeGamer via random Googling. And the fact they took such umbrage at me using a naughty word to discourage "AI people" from feeling in any way welcome on my site suggests to me that they are, themselves, an "AI person" and thus, by extension, a cunt.

Comments like this are always sort of fascinating, because there was evidently some sort of thought process involved — and one that is alien to me. What was Steven Woolf doing reading a five year old article about a character from an obscure Japanese beat 'em up? The nature of his comment suggests that he wasn't there to celebrate his love of Japanese video games, otherwise he might have, you know, mentioned Japanese video games. Instead, he chose to absolutely, spectacularly lose his shit at a disclaimer halfway down my site's sidebar presented in a 12 pixel high font. Why is that? Could it be because he's a cunt? All signs point to "yes" thus far.

What's even better is that because MoeGamer (and likewise this site) has an "approval" process for new commenters, meaning that his furious, impotent raging at my discouraging of AI cunts from using my site as the basis for any of their lake-boiling bullshit will remain completely invisible to the rest of the world for all time, with the only record of it being a snarky post on Bluesky (which he doesn't appear to be on, and which will be deleted at the end of this week anyway) and this post here, which he will probably never see because it's on a different website and he's almost certainly too stupid to track it down for himself despite 90% of the URL being the same.

And even if he does find it, all he'll really encounter is the simple and indisputably correct assessment that he is, in fact, a cunt.

So well done, Steven Woolf. You gave me something to write about today. You have officially become content, and that's not a fate I would wish on anyone, except you, because you are a cunt.

I hope you're having a better day now you got your little tantrum out of the way. If not, I recommend you go and play some video games or something. I hear Denjin Makai is pretty good?

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