#oneaday Day 995: Cultural Victory

Can you have too much culture? Can the sum of human creative endeavours add up to too much for someone to take in?

Well, first of all, those are two different questions. The answer to the second one, at least, is “yes”; the former? I’m not so sure.

We’re already at a point where there is so much Stuff in the world it’s impossible to keep on top of it all. Whatever media you’re into, be it books, movies, TV shows, music or games, there’s enough Stuff out there to keep you entertained probably for the rest of your life in just one of those formats, let alone if you, like most people, spread your time between several. Even if you spend your time focusing entirely on one genre within a single medium, you’ll never get to the bottom of the pile. You’ll never “finish” culture. You’ll never see everything there is to see.

Depending on your outlook, this is either a fantastic thing or incredibly depressing news. For many, there’s a degree of “shame” over not having caught up on things that are supposedly “canonical” or “essential” for everyone to have read/seen/played/whatever. The very term “pile of shame” (from which the Squadron of Shame takes its name) is used to refer to one’s backlog of entertainment that has been purchased but not consumed — or, in some cases, the definition is stretched a little to include Stuff that the owner of said pile intends to consume at some point in the future, but perhaps hasn’t quite got around to just yet.

With books, it’s fine. Books are passed down from generation to generation; republished and republished. Today, we can keep a book alive forever by converting it to a digital format and scattering it to the four corners of the Internet. Sure, you lose some of the joy of turning paper pages and that distinctive musty smell they have, but at least the important bit — that’s the work printed on those pages, lest you forget — is immortalised. You can read it on your computer; on your tablet device; on your e-reader; on your phone. You can annotate it and share your thoughts with other people around the world in an instant. Books are just fine.

Music, too, has proven itself to be pretty timeless over the years — for the most part, anyway. Throughout history there has been plenty of “disposable” music, but the true greats endure for years. Look how long the works of Bach and Mozart have lasted — people are still listening to, performing and studying these pieces hundreds of years after they were first composed. In more recent years, look at how the music of artists such as Elvis Presley and the Beatles is still interesting and relevant today. In very recent years… well, it remains to be seen which artists (if any) will leave a lasting legacy on culture, but there will almost certainly be some. (And if there’s any justice, it won’t be anyone who has ever won or been involved with The X-Factor.)

Movies, too, have become increasingly timeless with the improvements in technology over the years. While once a movie only lasted as long as the medium on which it was physically printed, now, like books, we can archive and keep movies forever. Sure, some moviemaking techniques now look antiquated and are unpalatable to modern audiences, but those truly interested in the full history of the medium can trawl back as far as they wish and see how it has developed.

Games, though, are arguably a bit more tricky, as they have an inherent “expiry date” due to the numerous proprietary technologies involved. While emulation technology is getting better all the time, it’s still not perfect, and the legal grey areas surrounding it make it something that some people prefer to shy away from altogether. When you consider “PC” games, too, there’s even titles that are ostensibly on the same platform that will no longer run on more modern technology. Fortunately, there are places like GOG.com who aim to keep these titles alive for modern audiences, but eventually even their remastered, tweaked versions will “expire” as technology makes the next big leap forward. What happens when computers become wearable and we don’t use TVs any more? Will we still be able to play classic titles designed for the flat screen?

With all this, it’s easy to wonder how you can possibly get through all those things that you’re “supposed” to watch/read/see. The answer is surprisingly simple: don’t. Accept the fact that you’re never going to read Great Expectations; you’re never going to see Citizen Kane; you’re never going to listen to anything by The Smiths; you’re never going to get caught up on the Assassin’s Creed series. Cherry-pick the stuff you’re interested in, finish what you start, and don’t feel obliged to jump in to things just because they’re brand new and everyone is talking about them right now. Get to them when you have time to appreciate them rather than rushing through them in the ultimately futile attempt to feel “relevant”.

Crucially, enjoy (or at least appreciate) the culture you consume, whatever medium it’s in. Your tastes are your own, and no-one has the right to try and change them. People can share their own opinions, sure, and these may help sway your thoughts one way or the other, but ultimately your feelings about the things you like and dislike are entirely up to you. There’s no “correct” opinion; no gold standard of cultural awareness you need to aspire to; no “checklist” to complete. The sooner you recognise this fact, the sooner you can get on with working your way through that “pile of shame” — because there’s some great stuff in there that you haven’t discovered yet. And the stuff that is shiny and new right now will still be here in a few years time.

Take your time. Enjoy it. It’s the least you can do for the people who have invested their time, money, blood, sweat and tears into entertaining you.

#oneaday Day 915: No, I Haven’t Seen [Insert Movie Name Here]

I haven’t seen The Dark Knight Rises yet. I’m probably not going to. I also didn’t see that new Spider-Man movie, The Avengers or any of the other films that people have been going apeshit over in recent months. (And, it has to be said, being extremely tiresome about. So you enjoyed The Avengers? Great. I don’t need to be kept up to date on how many times you’ve seen it. Also, quit retweeting your friends’ Foursquare checkins of when they go to see it. No-one cares.) (Sorry. Apparently I am grumpy tonight. Disregard all of that. A bit.)

I just can’t “do” movies. It’s not through a lack of attention span — I can happily sit and play a game, read a book or dick around on the Internet for hours and hours and hours — but I just find it impossible to sit down and watch a movie any more. There’s always a lingering sensation at the back of my mind that I’d rather spend two hours doing something — anything — else.

Actually, that’s true of watching movies at home. I sold most of my DVDs to Music Magpie a while back and I haven’t missed them since. I have a Netflix account on which I haven’t watched any movies (though I have more than got my money’s worth from all the TV shows on there). The idea of watching a movie at home is just… no. I don’t want to do it.

Going to the cinema is a marginally more appealing prospect because of all the associated “other stuff” that goes with it. Comfy seats, a nice dark room with a big screen and impressive sound system, a bucket of popcorn which looks like it will last forever (but inevitably only lasts until the end of the trailers) and an opportunity to Do Something With Your Friends. (Of course, that Something is sitting in a darkened room, in silence, in a straight line so it is impossible to talk to each other, so you might as well be there by yourself.)

But then at the cinema you have to deal with shite you don’t have to put up with at home. The scrotes who sit behind you and jiggle your seat with their feet. People who can’t eat quietly. People who won’t shut up. People who won’t put their bastard mobile phone away for five seconds. (I hate these people on planes, too.) People who think everything that isn’t funny is absolutely, massively, hilariously funny and turn a serious scene into some sort of farce with a laugh track.

None of these things represent specific reasons that I don’t want to watch movies. I simply… don’t want to watch them. I am fine with this. As such, if you ask me “have you seen [insert movie name here] yet?” the answer will almost definitely be “no.” You can also drop the “yet” because I’m probably not going to see it at all. So there.

I am grumpy. Now I am going to bed.

BALLS.

#oneaday Day 805: Geek and Sundry

I’m a big fan of both Wil Wheaton and Felicia Day. The pair of them, along with people like Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Gabe and Tycho and numerous others, have done a great deal to make being a geek “cool”. And not in a particularly obvious “hey, we’re going to make geekdom cool!” way — simply by being themselves and exhibiting an admirable amount of passion in their interests, they’ve brought numerous geeky pursuits to the attention of a wide variety of people who may not have investigated things like board games, web shows and other eccentricities before.

Today, Wheaton, Day and several others took a big new step in their campaign to provide bored geeks with ways to waste their time. The launch of Geek and Sundry had been teased — particularly by Day — for some time, and Sunday saw a 12-hour Google+ hangout “subscription drive” show to promote the new site, featuring a variety of events and very cool-sounding interviews. As I live in the silly UK time zone, I was fast asleep for most of these, but the good bits are likely on YouTube somewhere.

Anyway, what is Geek and Sundry? It’s a YouTube channel. Nothing overly fancy there, but unlike a lot of YouTube channels, Wheaton, Day and their team have made a big effort to organise their work and provide regular programming. And between them, there’s a wide variety of different shows that will cater to most (geeky) tastes. I spent a bit of time checking out a couple of the shows today, and I can see myself regularly checking in on them. They’re good quality, interesting and presented by charismatic, likeable people. Doubtless not everything will be to everyone’s taste — I know for a fact I have a number of friends who find Day’s ditzy “Elliot Reed”-style personality quite irritating, for example, so they may wish to avoid her content — but there’s a broad mix of things that should, between them, appeal to most people.

So what’s on offer? Well, I could spend some time describing each show in detail but they’ve been good enough to provide trailers for each bit, so let’s just explore those, shall we?

The Guild

Many of you will be familiar with The Guild by now, as it’s been running since 2007 and has appeared on YouTube, the Xbox Live Marketplace, Zune Marketplace, MSN Video, iTunes, Netflix, Hulu and DVD. For those of you who aren’t, it’s a comedy series about the lives of a group of online gamers who all play a massively-multiplayer online RPG together. Exactly what game they play is never revealed, with them referring to it only as “The Game”, but the focus is more on the quirky “real people” who make up the titular Guild rather than their online personae.

Day stars as Cyd “Codex” Sherman, who has to attempt to do her best when a guildmate — previously only known online — shows up on her doorstep. Hilarity, as you may expect, ensues.

Geek and Sundry will be showing the fifth season of the successful show.

The Flog

Fans of Felicia Day, this is where to go. The Flog is a weekly “vlog” show in which Felicia Day babbles nonsense for a few minutes and then goes off to do something interesting. The first episode sees her going to visit a blacksmith so she can better appreciate her Skyrim character’s level 100 blacksmithing skill. She gets very excited about hammers, which is kind of adorable.

Tabletop

This has been the highlight of what I’ve watched so far. Wil Wheaton hosts a half-hour show devoted to a specific tabletop game. Throughout the course of each episode, he and his companions explain the rules of the game under scrutiny and play through it. (You don’t see the whole game — just “edited highlights”. Probably for the best, given the lengthy playtime of many board games.)

The format looks to be a great way to find out more about various tabletop games, and the banter between Wheaton and his guests is entertaining. The first episode demonstrates Small World, which is a game I’ve been interested in for a while.

Sword and Laser

Those who enjoy those strange tablet devices with paper pages will want to check out Veronica Belmont and Tom Merritt’s show Sword and Laser. Based on the duo’s podcast, the show focuses on sci-fi and fantasy and features interviews with authors, reviews of new releases and discussion of recent news in these genres.

Written By a Kid

This has the potential to be a lot of fun: original sci-fi, fantasy and horror stories by kids aged between 4 and 9 are turned into live-action and animated shorts by a variety of directors including Dane Boedigheimer (Annoying Orange), Rhett & Link (IFC’s Commercial Kings) and Daniel Strange (Between Two Ferns with Zach Galfianakis).

LearningTown

Fans of “nerdcore” music will be right at home with this one, as dynamic musical duo Paul & Storm “blend vocal harmonies with comedic scenarios as they are tasked with reviving the flagging educational show of their childhoods”.

If you’ve ever witnessed the majesty of Paul & Storm performing “Frogger: The Musical”, then you’ll likely know what to expect from this one.

Dark Horse Motion Comics

Finally, comic book fans will want to check in on the Dark Horse Motion Comics show, where a number of Dark Horse Comics properties including Hellboy, The Goon, The Umbrella Academy and others will be brought to live with motion graphics. The first episode is already up, based on “The Secret” by Mike Richardson, with art by Jason Shawn Alexander. (I know nothing about comics. I include these names for the benefit of people who do!)

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I’ve subscribed already, as several of these shows sound like they’re going to be great. The first episodes of some are now available, with others to follow in the next couple of weeks.

To find out more, check out the official website or subscribe on YouTube.

#oneaday Day 739: I’m Flickin’ Me Net

I mentioned it briefly yesterday, but I feel some good, old-fashioned enthusing about Netflix is in order. I know, I know, you American types have been enjoying its streamtastic charms for a very long time now, and us Brits have been watching enviously for the whole time (and occasionally trying to do clever things to see if we can get signed up) — but now, we have it too.

And it’s awesome.

As I’ve noted on some post back in the dim and distant history of this blog, I’m not huge on movies. It’s not that I don’t like them, it’s that I’d rather spend two hours at a time doing something else. I’m not sure why this is. Perhaps there’s something in my brain that sets me up to enjoy interactive, rather than passive entertainment — I’ll happily sit and play one game for hours at a time, after all. But that doesn’t explain why I might take a new TV show discovery and devour large proportions of a season at once (see: Community). That’s no more interactive than a film, and yet I have no qualms in doing that.

I think my main bugbear with movies has historically been their perceived “value” when buying them to put on your shelf. I have a bookcase in front of me at the time of writing — look, it’s over there — that is almost filled with DVDs. (The bottom two shelves are console games.) Of those DVDs, the only ones that I think I have watched more than once or twice are the TV show box sets. The movies I’ve kept around… well, I’m not sure why, really, since I certainly haven’t watched Human Traffic for a very long time, and my copy of Hot Fuzz actually remained shrink-wrapped for a considerable period, too (it was cheap in HMV, then it was on TV, so I didn’t really need to watch the DVD). I guess there’s some sort of curious feeling of “attachment” to many of these movies, like I remember the time I bought them and associate them with a particular period in my life. As such, it’s never really occurred to me to get rid of them, even though I rarely watch them.

The age of Netflix, however, has me rethinking this. Now for a few quid a month I have instant access (assuming I have an Internet connection) to a pretty huge library of movies and TV shows. Some are complaining that the selection is a little limited at this time — and perhaps it is if you’re a big film buff, but it’s certainly more than satisfactory for me at the moment. And the reason I mention the “perceived value” vs “time constraints” thing above is that I’ve been more than happy to just sit and watch a movie on Netflix, because I know that I haven’t spent £[x] on it, and have to feel obliged to enjoy it.

It’s the same for the TV shows, as it happens. I’ve been meaning to check out Twin Peaks for a very long time, for example — even more so since I played Deadly Premonition — but never got around to picking up the DVD set. It always seemed a bit expensive for something that was — to me, anyway — an unknown quantity. Would I like it? (As it happens, I love it, 90s hairstyles and all) Would it be worth the money, or would I be stuck wishing I’d spent my £[x] on something better?

This consideration is now irrelevant. Like Spotify allows me to check out music that I might not have felt inclined to buy outright, Netflix allows me to broaden my tastes in film and TV shows without any risk of feeling like I’ve wasted my money. And through the “creepy” (no it’s not) autoshare to Facebook facility, I have plenty of opportunity to check out what my friends are watching, start some discussions about it and become more “well read” in the media of TV and film.

So, then, fellow Brits; if you have a decent Internet connection and like watching people perform for you inside your TV, PC, iPad or iPhone, I suggest you get yourself signed up for a free trial. For me, it’s been worth it purely for the iPad compatibility — Netflix on iPad in bed has revolutionised insomnia.

#oneaday Day 738: Diversifying

In a recent blog post, one Ben Goldacre described Spotify’s auto-sharing behaviour as “creepy” and called for greater transparency in opt-out procedures. While I don’t disagree that users should have the option of whether or not to share what it is that they’re doing, I do disagree with the good Doctor’s assertion that showing off your tastes to others is somehow “creepy” or “wrong”.

The reason I don’t find it either of those things is because of discovery. Spotify is built in such a manner that it’s easy to check out an artist or album you’re unfamiliar with in a risk-free environment. You don’t drop any money on the album directly, so if you wind up hating it, you haven’t lost out. And if you end up loving it, you can whack it in a playlist or star it for future reference.

Combine this ease of trying things outside of your usual comfort zone with social features and you get a powerful tool to expand your own tastes. Because music is an ever-present part of society these days — silence, it seems, is frowned upon by most people, particularly those of more tender years — conversations about what artists are awesome are less common than they once were in the age of buying CDs (and, heaven forbid, cassettes). Music is just there for many people — a disposable thing that people may well have a strong connection to but perhaps don’t always think to actually discuss,

What Spotify’s sharing feature does is allow you to see what friends have been listening to and, if it takes your fancy, jump right in there and have a listen yourself. I’ve discovered more than a few new favourites this way, and I’m certain other people will have been curious about some of my tastes too. I don’t have any objection to people seeing what I’ve been listening to and I’m certainly not ashamed of it. The same is true for Netflix, newly launched in the UK and nicely integrated with Facebook to allow you to share what you’re watching. On the whole, I’m much more inclined to pay attention to new releases if my friends are enjoying them rather than if they’re simply “critically acclaimed”. See: The Squadron of Shame

Goldacre suggests that people will make judgements based on what you have been listening to, and your playlists which, if you weren’t already aware, are made public by default. And perhaps people will — but the attitude I have always taken with personal taste is that it is just that: personal. If you’re the sort of person who ridicules someone else just because of what music they listen to, how they dress, or their appearance… I probably don’t really want to know you. Everyone is free to make their own choices with regard to what entertains them (unless, you know, if you’re into something fucked up and illegal) and so people should not feel ashamed or embarrassed to share what it is that they have been enjoying.

In fairness, it’s entirely possible that there is the scope for cyber-bullying among schoolkids based on what they might have been listening to with Spotify, or the content of their playlists. But there’s the scope for cyber-bullying based on their photos, their status updates, all the other stuff that’s on Facebook, too. This isn’t excusing it. However, it does mean that Spotify itself isn’t some sort of creepy bully-magnet. As with all forms of social media and teens interacting with others on the Web, it’s important for parents to be involved and aware of what their offspring are up to. If it looks like causing a problem, they should be familiar with the options that are there to protect people — and Spotify has those options if, for whatever reason, sharing things does become a problem. But someone’s listening habits are public by default — and why shouldn’t they be? There’s nothing to be ashamed of there.

Perhaps I have a naïve view of social media and sharing information on the Web. But I just don’t see how sharing your entertainment consumption is particularly harmful. Sharing deeply personal information, yes. But the fact that you listened to the Lazy Town soundtrack today? For me, that’s the start of an interesting conversation, not something creepy.

#oneaday Day 534: Who’s Buying the Crap?

I’m pretty sure I already knew this some time ago, but I’ve come to the not-so-startling conclusion recently that I’m the one buying the crap games and listening to terrible music and enjoying awful films. It’s not a conscious decision to be contrary, but I do find myself more willing than some to give creative works that have been somewhat maligned the benefit of the doubt — and more often than not actually end up enjoying them.

The first time I recall this happening was one summer when I was home from university. I got very bored and decided that I was going to go to the cinema by myself, just pick a movie that happened to be on, sit down, watch it and attempt to enjoy it. It was partly borne from a desire to prove wrong the unwritten rule that going to the cinema by yourself is somehow shameful (if it is, why is watching a DVD by yourself OK?) and partly just out of a desire to get out of the house.

The movie I went to see? 2 Fast 2 Furious. It was terrible, of course, but I enjoyed it a great deal. And the reason for this was the fact that I didn’t feel “accountable” to anyone — there was no-one with me judging my tastes or making me believe that I should feel a certain way about this piece of entertainment that was bombarding me with nonsense. (“Wow, bro, it’s like a ho-asis in here!”) Judged entirely on its own merits and on whether or not it performed the function I wanted it to at that specific moment in time — to entertain me without making me have to think too much — it succeeded admirably.

More recently, I found similar joy in Duke Nukem Forever. The thing that annoyed me most about the vitriolic reviews scattered around the web was the fact that all the critics seemed to feel somehow “responsible” for their audience, like they had a moral obligation to dislike it because of its more questionable elements or its rough edges. I played it and enjoyed it — genuinely — and was surprised there weren’t a few more people willing to stand up and be counted, saying “look, yes, it is crass, it is rude, it is inappropriate, but for fuck’s sake lighten up.” But that’s by the by — if you found it objectionable, that’s your business, but it doesn’t make me wrong either.

Most recently, the recent Steam sale encouraged me to pick up Alpha Protocol, a game I’ve been curious about for some time. Roundly panned on its release for poor AI, questionable game mechanics and outdated graphics, most people seemed to think it was one to pass by. But for three quid I wasn’t about to let that happen. So far I’ve enjoyed it greatly. I don’t mind that the shooting and the AI isn’t great because I’m not very good at shooters or stealth games. What Alpha Protocol has provided for me so far is a 24-esque espionage plot with action sequences where I at least feel like I’m a badass spy, even if the execution means it’s quite difficult to mess things up, from what I can tell. The key thing about the game is its story, and for that, I’m willing to forgive its flaws — some may say too forgiving.

This is a pattern I’ve continued for as long as I remembered. Back when I bought CDs (oh so many years ago) I tended to purchase music on something of a whim rather than with the charts or peer reactions in mind. I bought things out of curiosity, because I liked the cover art, because I thought the singer was hot. And there’s very few of those decisions I regretted, because it gave me the opportunity to experience some things that many other people might never have been exposed to.

I’m cool with that. It gives me interesting things to talk about when people want to know about obscure games, cheesy music or crap films. Everyone knows Halo and Call of Duty are good. But how many people can vouch for the awesomeness of Doom: The Roguelike?

#oneaday Day 84: The Crossovers That Will Never Be

There’s a ton of untapped potential in the world of the crossover. Comics have been wise to this for a long time, with DC and Marvel in particular being highly aware of the fact that all their superheroes are running around disparate parts of the same world and might just bump into each other on occasion.

But what would happen if some of the more bizarre crossovers came to fruition? Well, let’s explore that, shall we?

Castlevania: Deep Space Nine

The most modern the series has got was with Soma Cruz, and even then it was still all bats and caves and swords and whatnot. Castlevania should go to space, and specifically to Deep Space Nine. Why? Because I had a dream about it so therefore it must be a good idea.

Benjamin Sisko discovers that as well as being the Emissary he is also a descendent of the Belmont clan and—horrors!—Dracula has found a way to harness the power of the Bajoran wormhole to summon forth the forces of Darkness into our reality. Fortunately, power of said wormhole also manages to summon Alucard, with little to no explanation as to why (this is Castlevania, you don’t ask silly questions like “why?”) who very carefully passes Sisko the Vampire Killer whip. Thus begins an exciting and thrilling co-operative adventure throughout the many decks of Deep Space Nine, culminating in a thrilling showdown with Dracula, who reprises his famous “What Is A Man?” speech in zero gravity.

Features narration by Patrick Stewart, as is the law for all new Castlevania games.

Dragon’s Den: Origins

The Archdemon is rising, and the world needs a hero. But heroes don’t just come out of nowhere. They need to be found.

Enter The Dragons: Peter Jones, Deborah Meaden, Theo Paphitis, Duncan Bannatyne and James Caan. A series of aspiring Heroes of Ferelden climb the stairs of destiny and pitch their ideas with which they believe they’ll be able to take down the Archdemon. Only by securing a Dragon’s investment in their expedition will they have a chance of success, otherwise they’ll be doomed to wandering the land in rusty chainmail using swords that fall apart as soon as you hit a log with them.

Superman: The Krypton Factor

A brand new gameshow featuring Superman attempting to overcome a variety of physical and mental challenges, all of which are laced with kryptonite. Will Superman survive this episode? Will he finally succumb to kryptonite’s influence? As the series finale, Superman has to defeat Gordon Burns in single combat, as it turns out that Burns, too, is also a superhero, but one who draws power from kryptonite instead of being weakened by it. WHO WILL PREVAIL?

Total WipeOut HD Fury

A combination of futuristic racing and people falling in the water repeatedly, the twist is that the courses which the high-speed anti-grav racers and the people running around have to follow are the same, causing significant risk to life and limb for anyone hopping over those giant Super Mario mushrooms whilst the pack bears down on them at approximately 700mph. The winner is the team whose antigrav racer and panicking human both survive.

The Hairy Bikers in: Road Rash

The Hairy Bikers have had enough, and have decided to take on a gruesome, brutal world tour atop their throbbing motorbikes. Along the way, they smack the shit out of anyone unfortunate enough to cross their path, collect the meat from the smouldering corpses and cook it into a delicious recipe between each stage of their journey.

#oneaday Day 75: Yar-Har Fiddle-De-Dee

Piracy is a crime. Most people are aware of this by now, but it still goes on. And as much as I’m not a fan of piracy per se, it’s becoming increasingly understandable why people resort to less-than-legal means to get hold of digital content. Sometimes it’s because said content isn’t available where they live without paying exorbitant amounts of money to import things. Sometimes it’s to get a different version of some content they enjoy. And sometimes it’s because the legal versions of the content don’t work in the first place.

Let’s take YouTube as an example here. YouTube launched a service in the UK last year called YouTube Shows, which carries content from Channel 4, Channel 5 and various other sources, allowing viewers to catch up on programmes they’ve missed, rather like iPlayer. This is a great service, particularly considering it’s available for free, thanks to the fact it’s supported by advertising.

At least, it’s great in theory. Until the advertising service breaks, rendering the content completely inaccessible. Because there’s no failsafe to skip a broken ad, no means of reloading with different ads if they cause the video to fail and no means to report broken content, if YouTube decides that you’re not going to watch something, you’re not going to watch it.

This is obviously a Bad Thing, but of course it’s not YouTube’s fault directly. Computers fuck up, that’s part of What They Do. But when the fact that Computers Fuck Up That’s What They Do means that a service becomes unusable, that’s when alternative means start to get 1) sought and 2) provided.

Take the various means of digital rights management that many PC games come bundled with these days, too. Several of Ubisoft’s games won’t run at all if you’re not connected to the Internet constantly while you’re playing, so if you have a dodgy wireless signal in your home, good luck playing Assassin’s Creed on the PC, since it’ll kick you from the game every time your connection drops. And now some console games are starting to take the same approach, too, with Bionic Commando Rearmed 2 on PSN being one of the first. Modern consoles are very much geared towards “always-on” connections these days, of course, but with the number of times my PS3 logs itself out of PSN with no warning every day, playing a game that depended on Internet connectivity would quickly become very frustrating.

It ends up as a vicious cycle, however. The pirates determine more and more inventive ways to circumvent the more and more inventive protective systems that publishers put in place to deter the pirates from circumventing their protective systems. And it never ends. At the moment, particularly when it comes to PC gaming, cracked versions often offer a more convenient, “better” experience than legitimate copies. And when it comes to DVDs, not having to sit through several minutes of unskippable bullshit every time you want to watch a 20-minute episode of How I Met Your Mother is always going to be a mark in favour of downloading the episodes rather than buying the DVDs.

Piracy is a crime. But buying a product isn’t, and nor is tolerating advertising to make use of a free service. So how about the legitimate consumers stop getting treated like dirt, huh?

#oneaday, Day 8: Film Illiterate

I am woefully film-illiterate, as becomes painfully apparent the moment anyone uses the tried-and-tested icebreaker “Have you seen [insert movie that everyone has seen here]?”

I just don’t watch that many movies. It’s as simple as that. When given the option between spending nearly two hours watching a movie passively or interacting actively with a video game, nine times out of ten I’ll pick the video game, particularly if I’m by myself. This is inclined to change if I’m with other people, though, since unless you’re sitting with another gamer (or at least someone who’s invested in the story, characters, gameplay and/or your progress in the game) then sitting watching someone else play a game is no fun. (There are exceptions to this rule, of course; titles like Heavy Rain spring immediately to mind.)

But for the most part, because I live a long way from some of my friends and several thousand miles away from even more of my friends, watching a movie is usually a solitary experience. And if I’m going to be playing solitaire, I’d rather be, you know, playing.

That doesn’t stop me thinking that there are certain movies that I “should” see, though. There are a few of the classics that I have seen—unlike Ash, who wrote about this very topic earlier today, I have seen 2001: A Space Odyssey, for example. (And I can’t remember a bloody thing about it, leading me to believe it might not have been as good as everyone says it is.) But for the most part, if someone mentions a film that supposedly “everyone” has seen, chances are, I haven’t.

Now, in an effort to rectify this, and partly in celebration of its arrival on the PS3, I signed up for a LOVEFiLM trial subscription. My thinking behind it was that I’d finally be able to jump on board with some of these supposed “classics” and catch up with what I’ve been missing for all these years. The first film I watched was Team America: World Police which, while probably not a “classic” in the same way as certain other films are, it’s certainly one which gets quoted and referenced a lot. (And it was pretty hilarious, too. The scene with “Kim Jong-Il’s panthers” had me in stitches.)

Last night, though, I jumped in at the deep end and watched one of those films that is supposedly “iconic”, a quintessential snapshot of the art form at a particular moment in time. That film was Dirty Harry.

I wasn’t sure what to expect, even though I’ve been seeing Dirty Harry references throughout literature, games and journalism for the last twenty-five years or so. But I was pleasantly surprised to find an enjoyable film that you didn’t have to think about too hard, yet which still carried an underlying message that is still relevant today—that of criminals’ “rights”.

One thing that was particularly striking about the film was how differently it treated its antagonist to today’s movies. These days, there is often some lengthy exposition detailing exactly how and why the “villain” of the piece came to be so, well, villainous. This can lead to some interesting moral ambiguity situations when you discover that sometimes a “villain” can just be someone who’s doing what they think is right, or that they have underlying problems that explain their actions, however reprehensible.

There’s none of that in Dirty Harry. Scorpio is a scumbag, pure and simple. He’s a pure personification of “evil”—he rapes, he kills, he manipulates, he tricks, and he sure doesn’t like to be brought to justice. His demonisation throughout the course of the film causes the audience to subconsciously and automatically side with Harry, as questionable as some of his methods might be. It’s an effective trick, and one which makes the whole movie immensely satisfying right up to its conclusion.

So there’s one I can tick off my list. Any other suggestions?

#oneaday, Day 346: In-Flight Entertainment

I’m back home in the UK. I am not best pleased about this, particularly as the arsehole taxman is being… well, an arsehole. But fuck him. I want to talk about the three movies I watched on the plane today.

Toy Story 3

It’s been ages since I saw either of the previous two Toy Story movies and I think it’s high time I watched them again before Disney pull their beyond-stupid “vault” bullshit and prevent you from being able to get a copy until a few years down the road.

The third movie has a bittersweet premise. Andy is all grown up and soon to be off to college, and it’s looking like the toys will be left behind. Through a series of mishaps, they find themselves donated to a local daycare centre where all is not as it seems. To share too much more would be to spoil the plot, but suffice to say the typical Pixar multi-layered humour is present and correct, with the sequences in the daycare centre being akin to any number of “prison escape” movies you might have seen in the past.

One thing that struck me throughout was how emotionally engaging the whole thing was. The characters are so great that you’re with them every step of the way, and at the times where they’re in danger, you really feel bad for them. But this being a Pixar movie, things resolve themselves suitably, and there’s a touching ending. I really enjoyed it—it was by turns hilarious, exciting, heartbreaking and the sort of movie that makes you smile. The quintessential Pixar movie, if you will.

Tamara Drewe

I knew very little about this film save having seen a trailer a few months back and read the blurb in the in-flight magazine. It actually turned out to be a great film, and not your typical romantic comedy that you might expect.

The tale centres around a small English country community which frequently plays host to a “writer’s retreat”, and much of the action revolves around the various characters changing affections for one another. There’s a lot of adultery and cheating going on, and people not being with who they “should” be with, not to mention the titular Tamara herself, who is back in the village of her youth after several years absence, sporting a nose job, a rockin’ bod and a teeny-tiny pair of denim shorts. In one scene, anyway.

There’s a whole bunch of parallel plots running alongside each other throughout this one, and the whole thing is tied up quite nicely by the end, complete with a few surprising twists. It’s not what I expected, and certainly not a typical romcom. It was genuinely amusing, filled with strong characters played by an excellent cast (nice to see Tamsin Greig pulling off a serious role with aplomb) and I’m glad I bothered to watch it.

Going the Distance

This, on the other hand, is a more typical romcom, though they take care to include characters and situations to appeal to both guys and girls.

Garrett and Erin meet in New York and hit it off. But—oh no!—Erin is returning to California in six weeks’ time. They decide to have a long-distance relationship, and discover all the usual pitfalls of such an arrangement. The twists and turns are pretty predictable, though the ending was a little different from what I expected.

Justin Long’s portrayal of Garrett is likable enough, but Garrett as a character just isn’t very interesting for a lot of the film. Perhaps he’s supposed to be a “blank slate” for people to empathise with, because despite his relative boringness, I did find myself rooting for him and Erin to work out by the end of the movie. But then I am a big girl.

It was the weakest of the three movies I watched, but since I was gradually dropping off to sleep throughout the flight, the fact I didn’t have to think about it too hard was probably a good thing. It wasn’t a bad movie by any means. But it was very conventional and utterly predictable.

So there we are. Three different movies, all of which are worth your time for very different reasons. Toy Story 3 was great, but there was never really any doubt that Pixar would pull it off again. So I think the surprise that was Tamara Drewe was actually my pick of the three movies. Worth a watch, particularly if you like seemingly mild-mannered English countryside intrigue with a bit of an acidic twist.