I have little to no time for cynical negativity, and I’ve felt this way for quite some time. I’ve been trying to pin down exactly why I feel like I can’t participate in a conversation where one or more of the participants has switched to “cynical negativity” mode, and I think I’ve just answered my own question: it’s because it feels like those who are being negative are trying to close the conversation.
I don’t always mean literally, as in “let’s not talk about this any more”, but I tend to find that a negative opinion about something almost certainly stops people from wanting to pipe up and say “actually, I liked it”, because these days that often seems to lead to an unnecessarily heated argument. Both sides become entrenched in their respective positions, and both inevitably come out of the encounter feeling worse about the other person.
I know. I have been there on a frustrating number of occasions. There are Discord servers that I have come to feel less than welcome in because I liked something that someone with a louder voice than me didn’t. And I feel it’s genuinely quite hard to find a place where you can just go and be enthusiastic about something any more, without some killjoy jumping in and rattling off a laundry list of its “flaws”. And the negative one always seems to come off better than someone who feels positively about something — even when the positive one clearly knows a lot more about the thing in question.
Once someone has opened that initial negativity valve, one of two things tends to happen: 1) the conversation ends, with the positive person left feeling like they can no longer talk about something they like, or 2) other people, some of whom have no experience with the thing under discussion, feel emboldened to jump on board with the person being negative, leaving the positive person feeling like they’re being ganged up on.
There are responses to this, and I’ve heard them all.
“If you really love something, you criticise it.” That may be true, but “criticising it” is not the same as shitting all over it and, in some cases, casting aspersions on those who do like it.
“Stop being so defensive.” I am defensive because you are attacking something that is important to me.
“People are allowed to have different opinions.” If that is the case, why do I now feel like I cannot open my mouth and express my support for the thing that “the room” has now decided is “bad”?
“Stop playing the victim.” I’m sorry, but after probably over a decade of this at this point — of feeling like I have no place to really “belong” — I feel somewhat hard done by.
More than anything, though, it’s just boring. I know we can all have a good laugh at the creative ways in which people talk about things they dislike — it’s a lot harder to be “amusing” when you’re being positive, it seems — but when no-one seems to like anything any more, it becomes extremely tiresome.
I’m not saying no-one is allowed to dislike things. I’m not saying no-one is allowed to hate things with the burning passion of a thousand fiery suns. I’m saying I wish people would just be a little more considerate of those who like things, and want nothing more than to be able to talk about the things they like with other people.
Someone liking or loving something is an opportunity to learn and grow. Even if you end up not feeling the same way about the thing in question, you can learn something about the person you were talking to, and why the thing might be important to them. Meanwhile, if you close them down by saying you hate the thing before they’ve even had a chance to express themselves fully, that’s a potential relationship that is never going to go anywhere.
I feel bad that I even have to justify this. But with every passing day, I feel more and more alienated from people who should, in theory, be my friends, based on our shared interests. But when I’m confronted with negativity, I don’t feel welcome. I don’t feel like anyone wants to understand me. And I don’t feel like anyone wants to be my friend.
That’s a really shitty way to be feeling, let me tell you. And I hope it never happens to you.
Want to read my thoughts on various video games, visual novels and other popular culture things? Stop by MoeGamer.net, my site for all things fun where I am generally a lot more cheerful. And if you fancy watching some vids on classic games, drop by my YouTube channel.
I last wrote about this topic some time ago, so I figure it’s time for a revisit, given what I’ve been playing and enjoying on my PlayStation 3 recently.
My point today is this: you shouldn’t immediately dismiss stuff that is regarded as “crap” because there’s every chance that if you tried it for yourself, you might just find yourself enjoying it. (Note: I’m not saying that stuff regarded as “crap” is always going to end up being good — some stuff we can all agree is shite — but in many cases it pays to go in with an open mind!)
Let’s take Hyperdimension Neptunia as a timely example. Hyperdimension Neptunia received a spectacular 2/10 panning from Eurogamer’s Simon Parkin, by all accounts a well-respected critic whose opinions a large number of people trust. Consequently, a lot of people didn’t even bother to pick it up. This was such an issue that the (apparently considerably superior) sequel only had a limited print run and is now extremely difficult to find a copy of. (I tracked one down from Italy — European console games tend to be in English by default, perhaps with the packaging localised.)
And yet, while I can see its many flaws, I am having a lot of fun with Hyperdimension Neptunia. It’s bright, brash, colourful, silly and rather entertaining despite being the sort of game some people I know would be embarrassed to be seen playing, particularly when the occasional “fanservice” images make an appearance, or every time the character Compa trips over and flashes her panties at the end of a fight. It’s genuinely amusing, though — if deliberately cringeworthy at times — and packed with plenty of things to do. It combines two of my favourite styles of game — visual novel and JRPG — into one package with some really nice features. I love the ability to set custom images on “summon” spells, for example. Seeing the “I HAS A HERB” cat setting off a wind spell never gets old.
Hyperdimension Neptunia is far from the only example of a game which was poorly received but which I have ended up enjoying. In the post I linked to at the top, I mentioned Duke Nukem Forever and Alpha Protocol, both of which endured critical drubbings for various reasons — Duke for its grossout, sexist humour and Alpha Protocol for its broken gameplay aspects and appalling console versions. And yet in both cases — for I played them both to completion — I found myself having fun, being able to look past the flaws or “problematic” material and find an entertaining experience underneath. Am I somehow “wrong” to feel this way?
Well, of course I’m not. Opinions are entirely subjective, after all. I could tell you I found the critically-acclaimed movie Drive to be stultifyingly boring, for example (I did) but that doesn’t stop you from enjoying it, rewatching it a bajillion times or putting it atop your “My Favourite Movies of All Time” list. Likewise, Nier’s heavy reliance on fetch quests and seemingly tedious activities may cause you to switch off completely, while I found the experience to be an interesting example of a game requiring the player to “method act” the role of the protagonist, and found myself playing it obsessively as a result. We both might tell each other about how much we like our respective Things We Like, but it’s unlikely we’ll sway each other around to our way of thinking. And that’s just fine.
The sad thing, though, is the fact that there are people out there who hold a considerable degree of influence over the public’s spending decisions, and their opinion carries an undue amount of weight that might cause some people to miss out on things they might actually like. If Parkin gives Hyperdimension Neptunia 2/10, you better believe that’s going to affect a large number of people’s decisions as to whether they’re going to buy it or not. (Probably the latter in this instance — in the notoriously top-loaded game review score scale, a score of 2/10 is theoretically reserved for an absolute stinker that is completely broken.) How many of those people whose opinion was swayed by Parkin’s review would actually enjoy the game if they gave it a chance? How many people are actually going to give it a chance after reading that review?
The other thing worth mentioning particularly when it comes to titles like Hyperdimension Neptunia and Duke Nukem Forever is the fact that some critics seem to feel obliged to act as arbiters of taste and decency, when in fact everyone’s tolerance for potentially “offensive” content is completely different. Both Hyperdimension Neptunia and Duke Nukem Forever attracted accusations of sexism on their original release to varying degrees of justification — the specifics of which I’m not going to get into right now because that’s a whole other matter, particularly in the former’s case — and these accusations negatively impacted the critic’s view of the game in both instances. That’s fair enough — as I said, everyone’s “good taste” boundaries are different and said critics are entitled to voice those views — but when it comes to interactive entertainment, subject matter is just one part of the whole experience. And more to the point, in all forms of media, enjoying something that contains potentially objectionable subject matter doesn’t imply that the person reading/watching/playing the thing in question is, by extension, a supporter of that particular viewpoint. In other words, you can like anime boobies and still see actual real-life women as actual real-life people. (I say “you” when, obviously, I mean “I”.)
If you enjoy something, you enjoy something; you shouldn’t feel guilt about your own tastes. Unless, you know, your “tastes” involve bludgeoning kittens, puppies and babies to death with a sledgehammer. (In real life, not in video games, obviously.) Or, you know, actively stirring up hate against a specific social group. Or just generally being a dick. Then you should probably feel a bit guilty. Basically, so long as you’re not actually hurting anyone (physically or psychologically) or actively oppressing someone with the things you like, enjoy whatever you want within reason!
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to plumb the depths of the bottom half of Metacritic to see what awesome experiences I can find to enjoy next…
It may be shocking to some to hear this given how much of a massive nerd I am in almost every other respect, but I’ll just come out and say it: I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ve never really cared for Star Wars.
I’m sorry. I just don’t. I’ve seen all of them several times — including the original trilogy in their original, un-messed-around-with incarnations — and I just struggle to get excited about it. I never wanted to be Luke Skywalker, I don’t give a shit whether Han shot first or not and I always preferred Wing Commander over X-Wing.
Of course, these days it’s not uncommon to not give a shit about Star Wars due to the massive oversaturation of the market perpetuated by the Lucas empire, but I’m pretty sure I’ve felt this way even since before the prequels came out. I’m not sure what it is — whether it’s just the fact that it’s so pervasive in geek culture that I’m just sick of it, or if I actively dislike it. For what it’s worth, I don’t think it’s the latter; I think it’s more a sense of indifference and not really feeling like it’s worth all the fuss.
Oh, I get why it was a big deal on its original release, of course. I can appreciate that the original trilogy are good films — they’re well-structured, reasonably well-paced (they are quitelong, though) and stuffed with memorable characters — and I can see what an impact it’s had on modern sci-fi. I just can’t get excited about the prospect of anything Star Wars-related these days.
It doesn’t help, of course, that aspects of the franchise get continually co-opted for completely inappropriate purposes. I knew that I was completely over Star Wars when Yoda started advertising for Vodafone, though I had my suspicions when he appeared in one of the Soul Calibur games. The moment that the marketing people get hold of something that enjoys mainstream (or even niche) popularity, it dies a death. Whatever soul it once had is gone, replaced by that cold-hearted capitalist desire to make cash.
In fact, my only really fond memories of Star Wars include the amateur video production called Yoda’s Bar my school friends made with a bunch of Star Wars figures, and the drunken evening I spent after one of our school leaving days sleeping on the floor next to my friend Woody, who was doing what he called “Emperor Farts”, which consisted of him doing an impression of Emperor Palpatine and then letting rip with some of the most thunderous flatulence I’d ever heard. (He managed to keep this up for well over an hour; I am still surprised to this day that he didn’t shit himself.)
I digress.
I think it’s largely the oversaturation issue that gets to me in situations like this, because it’s not just Star Wars that I feel this way about. I find myself instinctively starting to dislike anything which I’m constantly bombarded with. It’s an automatic response now — I start to see so much of something that I just feel utterly sick of the sight of it, and thus want to take myself as far away as possible from it. Recent things I have felt this way about include Call Me Maybe, Gangnam Style, anything to do with Batman, and the video game Dishonored. The more I see of a thing, the less I want to see of it. Marketing through constant “brand visibility” evidently doesn’t work on me.
This instinctive behaviour that I have picked up from somewhere probably accounts for my changing tastes in media consumption — my present fascination with anime, Japanese games and related media falls firmly into the “niche interests” category and consequently is not prone to the “JUST SHUT UP ABOUT IT FOR FIVE MINUTES!” problem that I’m describing here. Ironically, of course, I’m happy to talk about all of the above things with like-minded people for hours on end and never get sick of them.
I don’t particularly think that feeling this way is a problem per se — everyone should be free to pursue their own tastes and interests — but as I posted the other day, it can sometimes lead to feelings of isolation. I occasionally think I should make more of an effort to try and engage with things that are otherwise popular, but then I just think to myself “no, why should I? I have plenty of things that I’m interested in to keep me busy and entertained; I don’t need the stuff that everyone else is talking about.”
I just end up with fewer people to talk about my interests with. But eh. ‘Twas ever thus for those mysterious creatures known as geeks, nerds, whatever you want to call us. And the fortunate side-effect of the smaller numbers of people who are into more “niche” things is that the people who are into those things are, more often than not, infinitely more passionate about their interests than those who are following the herd. I’ll take passion and enthusiasm over conformity any day.
I’m coming to the rather cynical conclusion that I’m not sure I care enough about certain issues to want to shout and scream and rant and rave about them all day, every day. A big part of the reason behind this is the fact that people who do care enough about certain issues to shout and scream and rant and rave about them all day, every day are wearing me down significantly. I won’t get into specifics, as that will likely only provoke more shouting, screaming, ranting and raving, but suffice to say I really can’t be arsed with it any more.
I am fully aware that taking this rather apathetic attitude towards Big Issues makes me officially Part of the Problem. But, you know, I just don’t care any more. I have had my share of shit things happen to me in my life — nothing on a par with the abuse and crap some social groups have to put up with, though, obviously — and I am just exhausted. I am 31 years old and I just want to settle down with a nice, quiet life. I want to have a nice house with a cat and/or a dog, a car that doesn’t rattle when it goes around corners, a job that I enjoy that also allows me the free time to do things I want to do. I am partway there already (mainly on the job front) after a difficult couple of years, and I just do not have the energy to get upset and angry over things outside of my immediate situation any more. It’s selfish, and I’m completely aware of that — and mildly guilty about it, to my annoyance — but it’s true. I want my own life to be sorted before I try and fix the rest of the world, and I’ve still got a long way to go yet.
In honesty, it’s not that I genuinely don’t give a shit about the issues in question and don’t think they’re a problem. It’s that any time a “discussion” on said issues comes up, it devolves within a matter of seconds into people throwing tables at each other, telling each other to “get a grip” or that Their Opinion Is Wrong. I’ve tried on several occasions to engage in such discussions in a reasonable, rational manner and every time this pattern has emerged, without fail. It’s utterly predictable. Someone makes an inflammatory statement deliberately designed to provoke, someone else comes along with a counterpoint, then both sides gather the troops and proceed to bitch and scream at one another with no resolution being reached. Then the whole thing just happens again and again and again. In some cases, people in question repeatedly stoke the fire in an attempt to get the arguments to flare up again long after the initial flurry has passed.
I have one far-off friend in particular whom I otherwise like very much who I now feel I can’t really engage with via social media any more because 90% of their posts seem to follow the pattern outlined above. This sort of person attracts like-minded individuals, most of whom are strong-willed and keen to argue their case aggressively. I hate unnecessary aggression and will do anything possible to avoid it, whether it’s in actual conversation or on the Internet. If that means no longer talking to someone online, then it’s a sad situation for sure, but it’s what I’ll do.
There’s also the fact that in a lot of cases these screaming matches don’t achieve anything whatsoever. A lot of the people who hold these strong opinions can very much talk the talk but then don’t do anything to back up their bold words. If they took some sort of action regarding the things they feel so strongly about, I might be more inclined to care more one way or the other. But when the same old arguments arise day after day after day, I just get tired and don’t want to engage with it any more. The impact is lost. I don’t care any more. I just want to have a quiet life. If your points are making me — and doubtless plenty of others like me — feel like that, you are not arguing your case well.
Is that such a bad thing? Apparently so. But if it’s wrong, to mangle the cliché, I really don’t have the energy or give enough of a shit to be right.
It’s not easy to change your own opinions, for any reason. It’s even harder to change it when someone else makes a convincing argument as to why you are wrong and therefore a big dumb-dumb poopy-head. But sometimes it’s something you have to do in order to move with the times.
I have two very different issues in mind for which I’ve encountered the above concept. I’ll tackle them in order of difficulty to comment on.
First up is mobile gaming.
Last year, I wrote this post. In it, I described how I thought the supposed pressure from Nintendo’s investors for the Japanese giant to start developing for smartphones rather than its own proprietary hardware might not actually be a terrible idea. I actually still don’t think it’s an awful idea, but after a year of reflection, observation and immersion in the mobile gaming industry, it’s clear that what I describe and suggest in that post isn’t going to happen.
For all some iOS developers’ attempts to take the iPhone and iPad seriously for gaming purposes, there are at least ten times as many developers churning out free-to-play or quick-hit casual games. For every developer who is up front about the cost of their app and refuses to nickel-and-dime the player with additional in-app purchases, at least ten times as many incorporate some sort of means of endless monetization, be it an “energy” system, a means for players to buy in-game currency without earning it or the facility to unlock content without having to progress naturally through the game.
I don’t begrudge these developers their income, of course — games cost money to make, and every developer wants to make it big with their titles. But, unfortunately, the prevalence of such business models in the mobile gaming space makes it all but impossible for the “core” gaming community to take it seriously. As much as many of us moan about grinding for levels or money in games, a lot of us secretly quite enjoy it — it provides us with “war stories” about how we played Mahjong for six hours straight in Yakuza 2 in order to be able to afford a fancy dress to give to a girl, or how we accumulated fifteen bajillion souls in Demon’s Souls only to die and then die again on the way back to retrieving them, losing them all forever.
In short, the effort and personal sacrifice involved in accomplishing feats in some of these games is rendered meaningless if someone can just come along and pay ten quid to bypass all the pain and suffering. Sure, it’s convenient, but it renders achievements meaningless — particularly if the game’s monetization strategy features “pay to win” items, whereby players can pay real money in order to gain a significant in-game advantage, be it the ability to “continue” after death without score penalty or simply acquiring powerful new equipment.
What this means is that “core” gamers as a community don’t take mobile gaming seriously, which means that when developers do come along wanting to do something serious and non-exploitative, they often get ignored — particularly if their game is seen as “expensive” compared to the myriad free and 69p apps out there. If you want a recent example of this in action, just consider the Kickstarter campaign for Republique that I wrote about here. Despite starting as an effort to get “triple-A” games on iOS, the team behind the project gradually had to accept that this mission statement wasn’t going to get them the funding that they wanted, and eventually had to expand and promise PC and Mac versions. Even then, it looked for a long time like they weren’t going to make it.
Anyway. I was wrong. I accept that. Mobile gaming is its own thing, and that’s cool. I will continue to appreciate it when a developer treats me as a player rather than a customer (or worse, cash cow) and provides me with deep, meaningful, worthwhile experiences on iOS, but I’m no longer holding my breath for it to be the next big thing in portable gaming — at least not for the “core” audience. There is still a place for dedicated handhelds.
Now for the second issue. I kind of don’t want to talk about this much because there’s been a lot of angry table-thumping surrounding it in recent weeks. There are, too, a lot of very vocal commentators on the subject and I really don’t want to attract their ire — firstly, because that is by no means my intention, and secondly, because I’ve seen people really get laid into as a result of such arguments.
I am, of course, talking about gender issues and the question of whether or not the video games industry constitutes a rape culture.
Some context, first. Apologies to those whom the following offends, but it’s necessary to include it for context. (NSFW, duh.)
This trailer for the upcoming game Hitman Absolution made a lot of people very angry, for various reasons. The ridiculous nun disguises covering impractical porn-star dominatrix outfits. The question of how exactly a nun conceals a rocket-launcher inside her habit. The fact that this really didn’t look like the Hitman series people knew and loved.
By far the biggest concern, though, was the violence towards women depicted in the trailer.
I am not going to get into the broader discussion of whether or not this is indicative of a rape culture here as, to be frank and honest with you, I do not know enough about the subject and therefore feel ill-qualified to comment on it.
What I can discuss, however, is how my own thought processes went.
My initial reaction to the trailer was simply “WTF”. This was shortly followed by “that’s clearly sexist and unnecessary”, and I commented as such on Twitter around the time it was emerging. My opinion was that the trailer was the result of a horny marketing department making deliberately sexually-provocative promotional material in order to get people talking about the game. On that note, it certainly worked.
I thought little more of it for a while, until articles like this one started to appear, claiming that the trailer was indicative of a larger problem — the trailer was, to paraphrase Brendan’s piece, not simply sexist, but evidence of a culture that normalised violence against women, and specifically sexual violence. In short, a rape culture by its very definition.
I had no idea what “rape culture” meant when I saw the initial discussions surrounding this trailer. My initial reaction, like many others, was to assume that “rape culture” in fact meant “directly endorsing rape”. Despite being conscious of the fact that I had publicly spoken out against the trailer, the accusations flying around and the increasing anger of commenters on the subject — on both sides — made me feel deeply uncomfortable and, yes, defensive. No-one likes to be told that something they care deeply about has such an odious undercurrent, after all.
But I stepped back for a moment and considered what was going on. This was clearly a hot-button issue for a lot of people, and one that I knew wading into with ill-informed opinions would be desperately, desperately unwise. I’d already seen a few weeks previously that a friend who had inadvertently ventured into a similar discussion got very publicly torn a new one (a little unfairly, I feel — though that’s an altogether different story) as he attempted to discuss the matter.
So here’s what I did: I stepped away. I read through the various angry tweets, blog posts and articles with a degree of detachment, attempting to understand where these people were coming from and why those who were saying “it’s no problem, what’s the big deal?” were pissing them off so much. I read up a little on what “rape culture” as a term actually meant.
And I came out of it feeling differently to the defensiveness I felt before. I already knew there was a problem with sexism in the industry, but now I felt I had an increased (though by no means comprehensive) understanding of the issue. I am aware that there are still things I do not understand about issues of feminism, gender, sexuality, rape culture and cultural norms — people spend years studying these things, after all — but I am willing to at least learn about these subjects before sticking my oar into a debate I am currently ill-qualified to have. I am also aware that many of the commenters who feel so passionately about this issue are not, as might first appear, condemning the entire industry and everyone involved in it as sexist, misogynist perpetuators of a rape culture, because gross generalisations are never helpful.
Let’s get off the specifics because, as I’ve said several times, I don’t want to get into that particular discussion right now.
The key issue is that a little consideration and reflection goes a long way. Knee-jerk, immediate, passionate, emotional and ill-informed reactions might feel good in the short term, but often they leave you looking like a jackass. I’m glad that I stepped back and considered the way I felt about the discussion surrounding this issue — and why — before even thinking about jumping in and potentially making a twat of myself.
It pays to have flexible opinions, a willingness to educate yourself and, yes, the ability to admit you were wrong (and understand why), in short. That’s not to say that you should blindly follow the herd — quite the opposite, in fact. You should take the time to explore an issue, find out as much as possible and gather sufficient information for you to be able to accurately decide whether or not your initial reaction was, in fact, correct.
If it was — in your opinion, anyway — then you’ll be well-equipped to argue your case. And if it wasn’t, it’s important to be humble enough to admit it.
I’m pretty sure I already knew this some time ago, but I’ve come to the not-so-startling conclusion recently that I’m the one buying the crap games and listening to terrible music and enjoying awful films. It’s not a conscious decision to be contrary, but I do find myself more willing than some to give creative works that have been somewhat maligned the benefit of the doubt — and more often than not actually end up enjoying them.
The first time I recall this happening was one summer when I was home from university. I got very bored and decided that I was going to go to the cinema by myself, just pick a movie that happened to be on, sit down, watch it and attempt to enjoy it. It was partly borne from a desire to prove wrong the unwritten rule that going to the cinema by yourself is somehow shameful (if it is, why is watching a DVD by yourself OK?) and partly just out of a desire to get out of the house.
The movie I went to see? 2 Fast 2 Furious. It was terrible, of course, but I enjoyed it a great deal. And the reason for this was the fact that I didn’t feel “accountable” to anyone — there was no-one with me judging my tastes or making me believe that I should feel a certain way about this piece of entertainment that was bombarding me with nonsense. (“Wow, bro, it’s like a ho-asis in here!”) Judged entirely on its own merits and on whether or not it performed the function I wanted it to at that specific moment in time — to entertain me without making me have to think too much — it succeeded admirably.
More recently, I found similar joy in Duke Nukem Forever. The thing that annoyed me most about the vitriolic reviews scattered around the web was the fact that all the critics seemed to feel somehow “responsible” for their audience, like they had a moral obligation to dislike it because of its more questionable elements or its rough edges. I played it and enjoyed it — genuinely — and was surprised there weren’t a few more people willing to stand up and be counted, saying “look, yes, it is crass, it is rude, it is inappropriate, but for fuck’s sake lighten up.” But that’s by the by — if you found it objectionable, that’s your business, but it doesn’t make me wrong either.
Most recently, the recent Steam sale encouraged me to pick up Alpha Protocol, a game I’ve been curious about for some time. Roundly panned on its release for poor AI, questionable game mechanics and outdated graphics, most people seemed to think it was one to pass by. But for three quid I wasn’t about to let that happen. So far I’ve enjoyed it greatly. I don’t mind that the shooting and the AI isn’t great because I’m not very good at shooters or stealth games. What Alpha Protocol has provided for me so far is a 24-esque espionage plot with action sequences where I at least feel like I’m a badass spy, even if the execution means it’s quite difficult to mess things up, from what I can tell. The key thing about the game is its story, and for that, I’m willing to forgive its flaws — some may say too forgiving.
This is a pattern I’ve continued for as long as I remembered. Back when I bought CDs (oh so many years ago) I tended to purchase music on something of a whim rather than with the charts or peer reactions in mind. I bought things out of curiosity, because I liked the cover art, because I thought the singer was hot. And there’s very few of those decisions I regretted, because it gave me the opportunity to experience some things that many other people might never have been exposed to.
I’m cool with that. It gives me interesting things to talk about when people want to know about obscure games, cheesy music or crap films. Everyone knows Halo and Call of Duty are good. But how many people can vouch for the awesomeness of Doom: The Roguelike?
Trends are bizarre, inexplicable and ultimately meaningless if you have a mind of your own. I find it impossibly difficult to fathom sometimes how one minute something can be excellent, popular, wonderful, critically acclaimed and all manner of superlatives, then the next it is shit, awful, bollocks, crap and proof that you are a complete fuckwit if you dare to admit you like it in the company of anyone with a face.
There are few places where this is more apparent than in the world of “celebrities”—and my God how much I hate that word, but that’s an entirely different story. I have one specific example in mind and that is the comedian Michael McIntyre. He appeared on the scene a year or two pack, mostly on panel shows such as Mock the Week, and he proved himself to be an entertaining, clever, well-spoken funnyman with floppy, silly hair that I could relate to. We started seeing some of his stand-up on TV, and I thought his material was very funny and a little different from other acts around at the time. At some indeterminate point in about the last year or so, it became fashionable to hate him and slag him off.
To be perfectly honest, I wonder exactly how many people who use Michael McIntyre as a whipping boy for what is supposedly the lowest of the low comedy have actually watched his whole act, and how many of them are simply following the trend. Who decided it was time to hate McIntyre? Why? Where did that “trend” originally come from? It must have started with someone and spread virally. Public opinions don’t do complete U-turns without some sort of influence—and McIntyre himself is the same as he’s always been.
It happens in all media too; Square’s Final Fantasy series, once beloved by most gamers (or at least the ones who liked JRPGs) is now belittled and complained about by almost everyone. The games aren’t any worse (I’m playing FFXIII right now and while it could be argued to be a step backwards from the complete change of direction that was FFXII, it’s certainly not a bad, boring, stupid, dumb game like some people have ranted at great length about) and sure, Square could probably stand to re-release the first four games in the series a few less times and the others a few more times… but Square hate is also in fashion right now.
I’m not objecting to anyone having opinions, you understand. People are free to like or dislike whatever the hell they want, whether it’s music, games, movies, books, celebrities, foods or even abstract concepts. The idea of people belittling each other based on what they enjoy, though? That’s just stupid. I hate The X-Factor and related TV shows, for example, and have even moaned about them a great deal in the past. But I figured out that there was absolutely no point in doing so, because even if it is the shittest of the shit (and it is) there are people out there who enjoy it and aren’t going to listen however much you try and convince them otherwise.
So here’s a thought, then. Why don’t we start a new trend—a trend of saying “I like this, give it a try, it’s cool if you don’t”? Okay, sure, as slogans go it’s not the catchiest one out there. But it’s better than “I hate this and you should too even if you have no idea what I’m talking about!”
Human beings, and especially British human beings, are inclined to panic at the most ridiculous things. It’s probably a side-effect of being bombarded with negativity from the media and the news—if something bad could happen, then it probably already has, they tell us. (Maybe. I’m making that up a bit.)
But really, there’s no need to concern yourselves with these things that might actually kill you. Seriously. Allow me to set your mind at rest for a few of these things that typically induce enormous amounts of panic.
The kettle isn’t turning off!
The kettle is boiling and it hasn’t made that familiar, comforting “click” of turning itself off, you say? Well, isn’t that a pickle? Still, it’s unlikely that your kettle will detonate like a bomb if you don’t turn it off manually. In actual fact, it probably will turn itself off after a moment if you just leave it. Or if you’re really that concerned, you can prevent inadvertent kettle detonation by simply turning it off yourself. You’ll find it will stop boiling pretty quickly.
The toilet won’t flush, and it’s not my toilet!
Oh no! You did your business and now you can’t get it to vacate the premises. How embarrassing! Because no-one else ever has a poo, right? You are literally the first person to ever have a poo in someone else’s toilet. And explaining this situation to your hosts will be mortifying.
Never fear. In actual fact, your hosts have probably deduced the fact you were having a poo from the fact that you’ve been in there for more than the few seconds a wee normally takes. Also, you took a magazine and/or your iPhone/Nintendo DS with you. Simply explain to them that their toilet doesn’t appear to be flushing and is there a special trick to it? Chances are if they live with an idiosyncratic toilet, they know how to talk to the toilet pixies and make it do the thing it’s supposed to do.
Someone said a mean thing on the Internet!
You made a valid argument on a subject you feel passionately about, and someone called you a douchebag, whilst not contributing to the discussion at all. There’s a simple solution to this problem: picturing the person who called you a douchebag. They’re probably not a ripped jock with a six-pack who has a bevy of beautiful women satisfying his every sexual need at all times. He’s probably an overweight gentleman with personal hygiene issues and a taste for Cheetos or similar snack foods.
This electrical device that was perfectly fine yesterday isn’t working!
Rather than assuming that it’s “broken” and wailing to the heavens, why not try checking the things that everyone forgets to check? Is it turned on? Plugged in? Is the socket working? Does it need new batteries? Does it need batteries at all?
On the off-chance that it is, in fact, “broken”, consider what your life was like before you had the device in question. Was it significantly worse? If yes, then go get it repaired or buy a new one. If no, then you can probably live without your smoothie-maker/light-up dildo/automatic toilet paper dispenser.
I disagree with your opinion!
It’s okay. Really. That’s why it’s called an “opinion”. Well, it might not technically be the reason that the word “opinion” was chosen. But you are perfectly entitled to have your own opinion on something, and to be able to voice that opinion. You should also be prepared to deal with any consequences for voicing that opinion. If you slag off Call of Duty: Black Ops on the biggest Call of Duty fan site in the world, you’re probably going to get called a douchebag by someone. If you stand naked in the middle of the street yelling “I AM A NAZI!” you will probably get arrested. If you tweet “Crap! Robin Hood Airport is closed. You’ve got a week and a bit to get your shit together, otherwise I’m blowing the airport sky high!!!” then you will probably get prosecuted.
This online service which I don’t pay anything for isn’t working!
Twitter down? Facebook failing? Reddit “under heavy load”? GO OUTSIDE.
Call of Duty: Black Ops is currently in the process of being launched. This game, for the uninitiated, is going to be rather popular, and it’s expected to sell by the millions. Fair enough. It’s always good to see something enjoy so much success. (Unless it’s, say, a nuclear bomb or terrorist plot or something.)
It’s also something that I couldn’t give two shits about, but this blog post isn’t about why I don’t give two shits about it. This blog post is about why it doesn’t matter that I don’t give two shits about it, and why it doesn’t matter that you, the reader, might think it’s the best thing ever. All that really matters is your own personal opinion on the matter, and it’s this principle that the Internet at large (including, occasionally, yours truly) forgets sometimes.
Everyone has a right to their own opinion, of course. But who really has the right to say what is the “correct” opinion? No-one, of course. The only “correct” opinion is the one you hold. If your opinion doesn’t happen to gel with the majority, then that’s fine. If you hold an opinion that’s popular with the majority but unpopular with your circle of friends, that’s fine too.
In most cases, anyway. Opinions involving being a Nazi, a racist, enjoying raping and/or killing children and/or animals or reading the Daily Mail are generally agreed to be Bad Things. These are societal norms. They’re universally accepted. (Except by the racist Nazi child-raping animal-haters who read the Daily Mail, of course.)
But there are no societal norms on what you “should” think about Call of Duty. Sure, there’s a large number of people out there who really dig it. Some may point to sales figures or Raptr usage statistics and claim that Modern Warfare 2 is the “most popular game of all time” and therefore one of the most important that everyone should like and appreciate. But that’s not the case at all.
The simple fact is, all forms of media have, over time, broadened their appeal. No-one can be expected to be “into” everything. There’s no-one out there who’s read every book, seen every film, watches everything on TV. For one thing, there simply isn’t time to do that. And while it was once possible to play every game there was thanks to their short length or relatively limited availability, we’re now at a stage where there’s no need to play every game out there. In fact, it’s arguably undesirable to do so, because it would inevitably mean you’d miss out on some of the hidden depths of some titles. Consider the person who romps straight through Fallout: New Vegas’ main questline and beats it in, say, 20 hours, versus the person who fully explores the world and invests over 100 hours into that game. Who’s had the fuller experience and got better value for money? I guess there’s arguments for either, but personally speaking on reflection I’d much rather have a deeper experience with less titles than whore around with every game that’s available out there.
What that means, then, is that if you’re someone who isn’t interested in Black Ops, you don’t have to feel bad about all the fuss. But at the same time, there’s no need to be an ass to the people out there who are buzzed for that game. They probably wouldn’t be into the idea of playing Deadly Premonition,Aquaria or Super Meat Boy.
So, basically, do your thing, enjoy what you enjoy and don’t be hatin’ on those who like something you don’t. Similarly, if you like something and someone else doesn’t, don’t be hatin’ on them for not liking it, either.
And the world will be a happy place.
Who am I kidding? This is never going to happen. Call of Duty sucks and everyone buying it is a lame-ass fagbrain!*
Having an argument is a great way to ruin an otherwise perfectly lovely day. The argument could be over anything. It could be over whether or not you think the latest changes that Facebook have made to their site are good or not. It could be whether or not you think raspberry ripple is the best flavour of ice-cream. It could be over whether or not you think the Pope is a massive douchebag. And, if it’s on the Internet, it’s probably over something utterly irrelevant and useless.
So here’s a few steps on how to do it better.
Step 1: State your hypothesis
“PS3 sucks!”
Step 2: Offer convincing evidence for your hypothesis
“Because Xbox 360 rulez!”
Step 3: Offer a source for your evidence
“My mate Joe said so, too.”
Step 4: Await response
“PS3 doesn’t suck!”
Step 5: Respond to response
“Yes it does!” (Return to Step 4 until both sides have been made abundantly clear. This should take approximately 30 minutes, or five pages of forum posts.)
Step 6: Make up a statistic and quote it
“80% of people who tried both consoles said that PS3 sucks!”
Step 7: Await response
“Well I think Xbox 360 sucks!”
Step 8: Quote Nietzsche
“Admiration for a quality, art or rival games console can be so strong that it deters us from striving to possess it.”
Step 9: Await response
“You’re a douche, do you know that?”
Step 10: Respond to response
“Your face is a douche.”
Step 11: Await response to response
“Your mom is a douche.”
Step 12: Respond with nonsensical, illogical response
“That’s not what she said last night.”
Step 13: Await confusion
“What?”
Step 14: Take advantage of confusion
“So it’s settled then!”
Step 15: Gloat
“I win. Douche.”
And so it goes. One of the strange things about this always-connected, everyone-has-a-voice society is that everyone feels the need to have a contentious opinion on something. This happens (albeit not always to the degree described above) on all manner of topics, from the most irrelevant of fanboy conflicts to far-reaching opinions on matters such as racism. And no-one will ever back down, because there’s always another website that “proves” their point, always another statistic from some made-up society somewhere.
It baffles me sometimes, because all this time that gets wasted arguing could be far better used enjoying both things that are being argued over. Of course, part of the issue in some cases revolves around people defending the camp they placed their flag in first. In many cases, people can’t afford to buy both, say, a PS3 and a 360. So they stake their claim to one or the other and then justify their choice to anyone who will listen, and a bunch of people who won’t also. That way, by branding the thing they haven’t got “crap”, they feel better about not owning it, even if they’re secretly bitter that they can’t make use of its exclusive features, software or delicious strawberry flavour.
Of course, some people are just asses and feel the need to disagree with everyone and everything. And those people are called assholes.
(If you’re wondering about the inexplicable German in the cartoon above, you can blame both me and RothDog. Drawing nonsensical cartoons involving German stickmen arguing was always an excellent way to pass the time in tedious German lessons back at school. This strip is a recreation of the first ever one we drew.)