I’m completely burnt out with the intellectually, creatively and morally bankrupt world of clickbait.

Today’s post is inspired by a few things. Firstly, the culture of mistrust I wrote about the other day. Secondly, a YouTuber that my wife Andie and I used to like resorting to “I MADE THE MOST VIRAL TIKTOK RECIPES!” format. (Andie doesn’t have a problem with this. I emphatically do, as will become clear shortly.) And thirdly, some of the outright lies I’ve read online today while attempting to find a perfectly simple piece of information.

Let’s address these one at a time, as each of them are symptomatic of something slightly different.

I Played 100 Days of Viral TikTok Recipes

As someone who does YouTube as a hobby, it’s infuriating to see the supposed “professionals” fall into a rut of simply baiting The Algorithm with the exact same types of “content” all day, every day.

I Played 100 Days of [Game]. I Made Viral TikTok Recipes. This is the Worst [x] Ever. Thrifting with My Completely Charisma-Free Mom.

There’s stuff on YouTube that I like and continue to watch. But this is the stuff that tends to languish in the wake of TOP CRINGE COMPILATIONS!! and FUNNIEST TIKTOKS I COULD FIND!! And this pisses me off. Because it demonstrates a complete and utter lack of creativity.

Yes, one could argue that there’s at least some creativity at play in editing these videos and picking the material to use in them — but even then, they’re incredibly predictable, regardless of who they are. You can expect to hear the Metal Gear alert noise, Kevin MacLeod’s Local Forecast, that “anime oooooh” noise in a significant proportion of popular videos out there, and you’ll see all the same visual tricks, too — jump cuts, crash zooms with a red tint on the screen and heavy screen shake, “A Few Moments Later” SpongeBob memes.

It’s infuriating. Like, it makes me genuinely angry. I know it shouldn’t. I know it’s dumb to get angry at people following trends. But it really does make me legitimately furious.

Why? Because I know there are lots of people working their arses off to make quality YouTube videos (note: not “content”) and getting very little reward, relatively speaking for doing so. Instead, the endless assembly line of identikit Content continues to churn, cluttering up everyone’s YouTube feeds with worthless garbage that provides precisely 0% more cultural enrichment value than simply staring at the wall for 12 minutes.

It particularly sucks to see video makers I used to like resort to this sort of thing — but I guess if you’re making a job out of it, it becomes an unfortunate necessity after a while. For every viewer like me who unsubscribes from a channel once it becomes a clickbait factory, it seems at least a hundred more take my place. So there’s zero incentive to change.

The PS5 Pro’s release date has NOT been “revealed”

Earlier today, Andie and I were talking about how long various consoles were on the market, and as part of this discussion we looked up the release dates of the PlayStation 4 and PlayStation 5, pondering if and when a PS6 might ever be a thing — and if it would have a disc drive, which was the main point of our conversation.

When Googling the latter case, I was promptly confronted by a wall of articles that claimed the PS5 Pro’s release date had been “revealed”.

Needless to say, it had not been revealed. Instead, what had happened was a single gaming site that no-one had ever heard of had claimed that “insider sources” (anonymous, of course) had “confirmed” the PS5 Pro was “in development” and would “probably” release in “late 2024”. This had then been parroted pretty much verbatim (albeit with some variation in the supposedly “revealed” release date) by a variety of other gaming sites you’ve never heard of, and this had happened so much that Google had figured it was worth showing to anyone who was searching for a simple piece of information: the actual, real PS5’s release date. You know, the one where a product that actually exists was actually released.

Essentially, what we ended up with was a page of search results that were nothing but speculation at best, outright lies at worst. And there will be no consequences whatsoever for any of the sites that were engaging in this behaviour; in fact, they will almost certainly have been rewarded with happy big traffic numbers, and you can bet those pages have ads coming out the wazoo on them, too.

As someone who, as a child, had aspirations of joining the games press, and hoped he would be able to do that more than pretty much anything in the world, this is heartbreaking to see. And it’s doubly frustrating when I run a site on which our writers take pride in composing honest, thoughtful, well-researched pieces rather than simply rushing to jump on the latest trend in order to squeeze out another few cents of ad revenue.

How to find all the blue medallions in Resident Evil 4 Remake

Speaking of which, one trend which was just starting to take hold when I left USgamer in 2014 was the odious rise of “guide content”. For the unfamiliar, this is an SEO-baiting tactic in which sites post individual articles that supposedly answer each and every possible question people on Google might have about anything vaguely relevant and popular.

It’s a completely unsustainable approach to “content generation”, particularly if you have any standards about the quality of the articles on your site whatsoever, and it means that, again, if you’re searching for specific pieces of information, you have to wade through 500 sites that have clickbaited their way to the top of Google’s search results, with no guarantee that their information is reliable or helpful.

I’ll give you an example. Prior to picking up my PS5, I was curious how the “PS4 Boost” mode worked. This is where the PS5 is able to run certain appropriately updated PS4 games with better performance than the original PS4 (and in some cases, PS4 Pro) would have been capable of.

The things I were curious about were simple: did this work with all PS4 games, or just select ones, and did I have to do anything to make it work?

The answers to these questions, by the way, are “no” and “no”.

While attempting to uncover these simple answers, I stumbled across a full-blown, surprisingly lengthy article entitled “How to Enable PS5 Game Boost”. Please recall that the answer to the question “do you have to do anything to make Boost mode work?” is “no”, and then marvel at the fact that multiple sites, not just the one I found, managed to spin this simple answer out into at least 600 words of complete garbage, because you need at least 600 words for SEO purposes, don’t you know.

I’m so tired of this. To the layman, it might seem like it’s very convenient. But as someone who has worked in the commercial press and now works on the more “indie” side of things, it’s infuriating, because I know these articles do not exist out of a desire to be helpful. As with all other clickbait — because that’s what these articles are — the aim is simple: gain traffic, and, by extension, ad revenue.

I’m so tired. So tired. The Internet was an exciting place when I was a kid and everyone was just getting to know it. Now, it’s nothing more than a mindless, soulless content factory where everyone is bidding for your attention so they can inject yet more ads directly into your eyeballs.

There are little havens where this isn’t the case, of course. But they become more and more difficult to find with each passing day. And it honestly worries me quite a bit.

But at this point, it’s also hard to know what to do, if anything. If I criticise this sort of thing, no-one listens. (I’m writing this today largely to vent my own spleen rather than to convince anyone else.) If I give up and engage in it myself just to join the rat race, I’m part of the problem. And if I abandon the Internet entirely, I deprive myself of something that is still, in some ways, a useful resource — and in some other ways, an essential utility for modern life.

So I guess I’ll keep doing what I always do. Do my own thing, occasionally complain about how much everything else sucks, then repeat until my inevitable death from a brain aneurysm.