#oneaday Day 902: Follow the Rules (That Haven’t Been Written Yet)

I’ve been playing a bunch more of The Secret World today and I stand by my initial impressions that it’s a significant step, nay, leap forward for the MMORPG genre. My only slight criticism would be that so far I’ve had very little incentive to actually play alongside other people, but 1) this is nothing unusual for modern MMOs and 2) I haven’t tried any “dungeon” missions yet.

It’s in the Investigation missions that I mentioned yesterday where the game truly distinguishes itself. I shall try and resist spoiling specifics at this point, but completing one today involved searching for something in the game world, finding a laptop (password-protected, natch) and then having to break into it. The clue on the computer was vague at best, and there was nothing in the immediate vicinity to help. A little exploration was required, and then some actual honest-to-goodness deduction and lateral thinking on the part of the player. It was a true case of “I wonder if this works… holy crap, it does.” As I say, spoiler-free, but it involved the sort of shenanigans normally reserved for “alternate reality games”. Which is impressive stuff.

What all this clever puzzle-solving leads to, though, is something of a dilemma for the community. In other MMOs, the General chat channel is the home for people asking how to do things — when it’s not the home of teenage boys soliciting sex from hot female Night Elf avatars, of course. It’s sort of expected that if you ask a question such as “where is quest objective x?” that you’ll get a straight answer. And that’s fine — a lot of MMOs are still a bit clunky on the whole “user-friendliness” part and thus often forget to point the player in the right direction, necessitating either a lot of tedious searching the game world or simply asking other players.

In The Secret World, however, the confusion inherent in these Investigation missions is part of the appeal. The sense of satisfaction when you unravel one of the game’s cryptic clues is unprecedented in the usually rather predictable MMO genre. Assuming you worked it out yourself, of course — and herein lies the problem.

Players coming to The Secret World straight from titles like World of Warcraft and Star Wars: The Old Republic will come to General chat or the dedicated Help channel and pose the usual sorts of questions. One of two things then almost inevitably happens — 1) someone posts the answer and everyone then yells at them for spoilers. 2) someone posts a vague clue and the new player then gets annoyed at not being able to get a straight answer.

Actually, this is an exaggeration — so far, from what I’ve seen, the vast majority of the community is on the side of “give hints, not answers” and only a few people ruin that. The trouble is, if you happen to glance at General chat when one of these people is spoiling a quest solution — perhaps unintentionally — then you can’t unsee it. You’ll know forever that Dr Bannerman’s computer password is — wait, hang on, you won’t get it out of me that easily!

Funcom’s GMs are apparently being pretty strict about those they catch posting spoilers in the chat channels, so hopefully the community will be “trained” out of that particular practice sooner rather than later. The trouble is, tempers often run unchecked online, meaning that some people will fly off the handle to a disproportionate degree at these spoiling types — who, in many cases, simply hadn’t yet got a handle on the game etiquette. Sure, it’s common sense that in a game with a heavy puzzle-solving component that people might not want to just hear the answers blurted out, but it’s entirely possible for the reasons I mentioned above that people may not have considered this. Getting yelled at and verbally abused by people isn’t going to help them change their behaviour — it’s simply going to make them defensive and often lash out back at their “aggressors”, thereby perpetuating a cycle of people bitching and complaining at each other unnecessarily.

In many ways, it’s the same as in teaching. In the classroom, if you spot someone misbehaving — or if another child comes up and “tells on” the miscreant, the worst possible thing you can do is yell, shout, scream and otherwise draw attention to their inappropriate behaviour. In many cases, the child was simply seeking attention, so to succeed so completely — even if it’s with negative attention — will not train them to behave more appropriately in the future. Instead, a more assertive approach is the way to play it — take the child aside and discuss quietly and discreetly with them why what they did was wrong rather than encouraging them to get upset and strike back.

Now, obviously most of the players of The Secret World are a little older than primary school children (hopefully), but this approach is still a sound one. If someone behaves inappropriately — such as by posting spoilers — it may be easy to simply publicly shame them in General chat with an “FFS” and a few choice expletives, but all that will do is make them call you a “moron” (or worse) and ensure that you both end up on each other’s Ignore lists. Instead, a simple, polite private message explaining why what they did was inappropriate or unacceptable is the way forward. No malice, a simple — but assertive — desire to help them out and make the experience more pleasant for everyone involved. Easy, right? Well, it should be. In practice it doesn’t always work that way, but people will settle down over time as the “norms” of the game community are established.

The way online communities interact with one another is something that’s always been fascinating to me, and the fact that The Secret World is even running into this issue at all shows what a big shift away from conventional, predictable MMO thinking it really is. The community is going to have tom come up with established conventions and ground rules — perhaps policed by GMs in the early stages — and those used to a different set of norms will have to adjust and adapt appropriately.

Anyhow. That’s that. If you haven’t figured it out already, The Secret World is most definitely worth your time and money, particularly if you have the slightest interest in Lovecraftian horror, or if you enjoyed Funcom’s adventure titles The Longest Journey and Dreamfall. While it has its flaws and its bugs, it’s certainly a far more interesting experience than the vast majority of other online titles out there, and I recommend you give it a shot — even if you’re not normally into MMOs.

#oneaday Day 650: Rules are Made to be Kept

“Rules are made to be broken.” I want to go back in time, find whoever coined that phrase and punch them in the testicles. The reason for this is simple: far too many people out there seem to live by these words, and allow subsequent generations to do so also.

This was particularly frustrating when I worked as a teacher. As a teacher, you’re expected to uphold the behavioural standards of the school and punish miscreants according to the school’s policies. In most cases, because teachers aren’t able to dish out any form of physical or psychological punishment, this means Giving Them A Detention. Fair enough. If you gave a child a detention and they turned up to it, this would be an effective punishment. However, unfortunately, in the vast majority of cases, they will not turn up at all.

Let’s take a couple of examples. In the first school I taught at, there was this objectionable little scrote in one class who constantly played up, threatened other children, swore, gave attitude to adults and was generally someone you really didn’t want to have around but had to. Attempt to punish him for his relentlessly obnoxious behaviour and he’d simply come back with the response “my Mum says I don’t have to do detentions, so I’m not going to.” And indeed, she didn’t think he should have to do detentions, and as such he didn’t.

Another example comes during my brief stint as a primary school teacher. One of the brightest kids in the class was, unfortunately, a little arsehole behaviourally. Much like the previous example, he’d swear, shout, get angry at adults, punch and kick his peers and occasionally storm out if he felt like it. He’d also goad the real problem child in that class into kicking off and causing trouble. When I confronted his parents with his behaviour one parent’s evening, they told me that they’d taught him to retaliate if he ever thought he was being treated unfairly. You really can’t win in that situation.

It sometimes surprises me how little regard people have for rules and even laws in reality. Obviously people don’t go around murdering each other or anything, but small thing like littering, smoking and doing things that signs politely ask you not to do — all of those make a regular appearance.

It was particularly apparent during our trip to Legoland this weekend. In some of the queues for the rides were small Duplo stations where bored kids could build things. On every one was a sign saying “please do not build tall towers” — presumably so they didn’t collapse, spray Duplo everywhere and make a mess. And yet in every instance, what was the first thing built by kids? You guessed it.

It wasn’t just the kids, though — the adults were just as much to blame, whether it was not correcting their children when they did something they’d been politely asked not to, or smoking outside the designated smoking area for no apparent reason other than to be slightly (but not massively) rebellious.

Accusations of this country being a “nanny state” are often bandied around, and often with some degree of accuracy. But just because we feel that we’re being regulated too tightly on some things doesn’t really mean that we should just only follow the rules that we think we should. I’m not talking about blindly following instructions and being a mindless robot here — I’m talking about following rules that just make common sense or are based on courtesy. If you’ve been asked not to smoke in the nice family-friendly theme park, smoke in your little smoking area — at least you’ve been provided with one. If your children are doing something they shouldn’t, inform them that they are doing something they shouldn’t — and don’t get pissy with someone else if they ask you to keep your children under control.

Also, get off my lawn, you pesky kids don’t even know you’re born, etc. etc.

#oneaday Day 153: Things That Make No Logical Sense But Are Clearly True: Food Edition

Life brings with it a number of learning experiences, and you store these pieces of information away in your dome-like for future reference, ready for subconscious recall at any available opportunity. Some of these pieces of information are, of course, complete nonsense and have absolutely no basis in scientific fact, but you become convinced of them anyway.

And so it is that you, like me, may have come to believe such rubbish as the following facts, which are clearly true. And all food-related, oddly.

Coke tastes better in a can.

It just does. Cans get colder than bottles and stay colder longer than bottles. Plus something about the metal particles makes the Coke taste better than the plastic particles of a bottle. There are people who will say that a glass bottle is the best way to enjoy a Coke, but they are wrong.

Sandwiches taste better when cut into triangles, unless they are bacon sandwiches.

This is also true. Eat a sandwich that has not been cut in any way and it tastes clearly inferior to triangular sandwiches. And don’t even get me started on people who cut rectangular sandwiches. There’s nothing even a little bit right about that.

Bacon sandwiches taste better when cut into small squares.

The exception to the sandwich rule is the bacon sandwich rule. Try it. Next time you have a bacon butty, cut it into quarters and you’ll see that it’s clearly better.

McDonalds chips taste better when consumed by the handful.

See also: crisps.

Milk tastes better swigged from the bottle.

As everyone (who enjoys milk) well knows, having an illicit glug from the bottle is far nicer than pouring out a glass. I fear that some of the Coke Science may be coming into play here.

It’s impossible to make a good cup of coffee for yourself.

Make yourself a coffee. Taste it. Put up with it because it’s “all right”. Now get someone else to make you a coffee. Taste it. Enjoy it. Accept their making you a coffee that one time as acceptance of a non-verbal contract to make you a coffee whenever you want.

Tea only tastes of something if you believe in it.

I don’t believe in tea, therefore it tastes like hot water — particularly the herbal teas. They smell great, but I never believe that they’re going to taste of anything, so they don’t.

Ketchup and HP sauce are opposites, and if they touch each other they will spontaneously combust.

What other reason could people possibly have for putting dollops of each respective sauce on opposite sides of the plate?

You are not allowed to have soup on a hot day.

It’s not that you don’t want soup on a hot day, your brain tells you that you must not have soup on a hot day.

If a piece of food you don’t like touches a piece of food you do like, the food you do like is forever tainted.

This one is actually true. I hate onion — particularly raw onion. Even the slightest hint of a taste of it makes me retch. This includes if a salad once had raw onion on it and said raw onion has since been removed. It leaves a flavour residue that makes anything the onion once touched completely unpalatable.

Cheese sauce can be used as the strongest adhesive known to man.

If you’ve ever burnt cheese sauce onto a saucepan, you’ll know that this is also true.

The most exotic-sounding sandwich on the menu is always the best.

This one is, unfortunately, not always true. Many’s the time I’ve had a chicken tikka sandwich hoping for a gorgeous curried revelation and walked away disappointed, wishing I’d gone for the tuna and sweetcorn.

The dessert that mentions chocolate the most times is the best.

Also not always true, since too much chocolate can lead to becoming completely gummed up with sticky, gooey goodness. And while that can be fun, it can also lead to feeling a bit sick. And no-one likes feeling a bit sick.

If you don’t have some sort of sauce on a kebab, you are Doing it Wrong.

Because why on Earth would you eat that shit if it wasn’t covered in chilli sauce that can strip paint, or garlic sauce so strong it can be used as insect repellent?