…and I’m also a PS3, a Wii, a 360, an iOS and an Android. I’m pretty frickin’ multicultural when it comes to operating systems and platforms, in short. Always have been.

The whole “platform wars” thing always bothers me. It’s usually started by the media and then perpetuated by fanboys who get angrier and angrier and spew more and more meaningless vitriol at one another until everyone leaves feeling rather embarrassed about the whole thing.

This isn’t a phenomenon limited to children and teenagers, either. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve seen grown men and women posting ridiculous comments about how much they “hate” Apple/Microsoft/Google/Sony/Nintendo/that guy Barry from the chip shop (to be fair, he is a bit of a wanker) and getting increasingly riled up when people try to talk sense into them. Or when people deliberately bait them. Or when people take their comments a little too personally and start yelling back. Or… you get the idea.

It’s been going on as long as there have been rival, roughly equivalent platforms doing similar things. We see it with every generation of computers, consoles, handhelds, smartphones, tablets, operating systems… it goes on and on. And, as I say, it’s usually started by the media, though in most cases it’s a bit of a “light the fuse and watch” sort of scenario, whereby they’ll sow the seeds of conflict and then just let consumers batter each other into submission with increasingly-dumb arguments.

I’ve never subscribed to this particular attitude. I don’t see the point. Every platform has its pros and cons. Some are likely to be more successful than others. Some will flop, hard. But they all have their place, and if you enjoy using them or find them useful, then that’s a win. If you have no use for them or don’t find them interesting, cool or exciting, then that’s no loss to you. There’s certainly no reason to judge people who do like them, though.

Let’s take the Android/iOS distinction. These two groups are regularly at each others’ throats, with Android users often hijacking iOS app Facebook pages with comments that just say “Android.” repeatedly under the mistaken assumption that this will make the developer of said app want to support them, and iOS users honking on about incompatibility, how much better their devices are and how cool they look. The vocal proportion of both groups are insufferable arseholes, and I really wish they would shut up.

I entered the Android brigade today with the arrival of my new Motorola Xoom tablet. I got it for several reasons — work, curiosity and the emulation scene. What I found was that I gained an immediate appreciation of what Android did, but did not suddenly find myself hating iOS, Apple and everything they stood for. Instead, from a rational, relatively neutral (well, I have been exclusively iOS for mobile for a number of years now!) point of view, I could see that both of these operating systems had distinctive purposes, and could appreciate both of them.

iOS is simple, easy, consistent and clear. You know what you’re getting with an iOS device. When you run an iOS app (games aside) you generally know what the interface is going to look like, and you can usually figure out how it’s going to work. This is true to such a degree that when apps make minor changes to what is seen as the “standard” way that things work, it’s very uncomfortable. A good example is the Spotify iPhone app, which has the “go back” and “now playing” buttons the opposite way around to how the iPhone’s native music player has — it’s a little confusing and irritating. Not enough to warrant INTERNET RAGE, obviously, but it highlights the fact that most iOS apps are a little more consistent with their interface design.

The “walled garden” aspect of iOS has its place, too. For those who are new to smartphones, tablets and technology in general, the fact that everything scary is walled off means that people can experiment and gain confidence with the device without breaking anything. Apple as a company has been increasingly moving towards the more “casual”, “consumer” market over the last few years — various changes to OSX indicate this, too — and the easier and more consistent things are for users, the better so far as they’re concerned. All this has the side-effect of irritating self-confessed “power users”, however.

But then there’s Android, which would be ideal for said “power users” if they weren’t so stubborn. Annoyed at lack of customisation? You can do that on Android. Wish you could transfer files to the device simply by connecting it to a USB port, not by farting around with app-specific transfer programs? Sure, go ahead. Want to use non Apple-branded accessories, including USB gizmos? Knock yourself out!

The side-effect of all this, of course, is that it provides more things to go wrong. It’s still pretty difficult to break an Android device from what I can tell — at least if you haven’t “rooted” it, a process which I still don’t really understand — but there are more variables in play. You can install apps from places other than one single “official” App Store. There’s a greater risk of malware — something which is practically nonexistent for non-jailbroken iOS devices. The interface(s) for Android apps is (are) maddeningly inconsistent at times. And although the iOS App Store carries a lot of absolute garbage, there’s even more on Android.

Both have their place, in short, and both have their own flaws — just as Windows and OSX have their place; PS3, 360 and Wii have their place; and if you really want to keep on using that Palm Tungsten you’ve had kicking around for years now, be my guest.

In short — and I’m aware I’ve said this before to little effect on the Internet at large, but it’s nice to at least try — people should pretty much just shut the fuck up and enjoy what they’ve got while ignoring what they haven’t got. We’d have a much nicer world without all this envy and jealousy floating around — since, after all, that’s pretty much what most fanboy arguments tend to boil down to — so why do we still do it?

I guess it’s fun to be contrary. Well, you can count me out. So far as tech goes, I’m multicultural and proud.