So in an attempt to better understand my audience, such as you are, I’ve been delving once again into the top search terms for my blog. I’m going to take the top ten search terms from the last year and address each and every one of them individually so that hopefully if you’ve been in attendance on this page at some point in the past and found it to be wanting for further information on the topic you searched for, you’ll feel better and more satisfied in your choice of Google links that you clicked on.
Divine Divinity (303 hits)
Divine Divinity is an action-RPG from Larian Studios which bears more than a passing resemblance to Blizzard’s Diablo series. The difference is that the world is not randomly generated and there is a more robust quest and interaction system more akin to something like the Baldur’s Gate series. The entire world is available to explore from the get-go and aside from some appalling voice acting of the very worst kind, it’s a great game. Pity its sequels aren’t up to much. You can grab it from Good Old Games.
I’m Not Doctor Who (81 hits)
That’s the name of this site, because my name is Peter Davison, though I usually go by “Pete” because I prefer it. Peter Davison, as you may know, was the stage name for Peter Moffett, who played the Doctor in Doctor Who between 1982 and 1984. I am not him, therefore I am not Doctor Who.
Teaching does indeed suck. I’ve worked as a classroom teacher on two separate occasions in my life and on both occasions it nearly killed me. In the first instance, I stuck it out for three years in the secondary school music classroom — my first year in a run-down school half a million quid in the red where I was threatened with being knifed on a regular basis, and my second in an ostensibly “nicer” area but which still reduced me to a literally gibbering wreck by the end of my time there.
The reasons why it sucks? Poor behaviour and teachers’ lack of power to do anything about it. Ridiculous amounts of bureaucracy. The fact that one person is expected to do what, in any other job, a team of at least four or five people would take on between them.
If you can stick it out, fair play to you. It’s not for me.
Persona 4 is one of my favourite games of all time. Featuring a hugely lengthy quest, genuinely loveable characters, a gripping (if crazy) plot and a love-it-or-hate-it catchy soundtrack, Persona 4 is one of the greatest JRPGs of all time and I will fight you if you disagree.
Fatal Labyrinth (34 hits)
Fatal Labyrinth is a graphical roguelike for the Sega Mega Drive/Genesis. You can play it as part of the Sega Mega Drive Collection on the Xbox 360 and PS3, but I bet you haven’t.
“Get Rich or Die Gaming” (27 hits)
Get Rich or Die Gaming is an absolutely terrible Xbox Live Indie Game with artwork that looks like it was put together in Microsoft Paint, voice acting that would make a school play’s director blush and designs on being a point-and-click adventure. Fair play to them for actually releasing it, but it really is not very good.
(Click to embiggen. Some NSFW. Some NSF anybody. Apparently this character is called “optimized GIF dude” and is something of a meme. I’d never heard of him, actually.)
So there we are. I hope you feel suitably satisfied now. If not, go and have a sandwich and a wank.
I’ve had a personal pile of shame lingering for many years now of video games that I bought, played, loved and never got around to finishing. It seems to keep growing, and PC games seem to be ones that I am particularly guilty of leaving ignored for some time. So it was with that in mind that I started to delve into said pile of shame to actually finish some of them. Prior to this post, Divine Divinity was the game that kept me occupied. I remember when I first bought it, my PC wasn’t quite up to the job of running it particularly quickly, so that put me off playing it a bit. When I bought a more powerful PC, it was left on the shelf in favour of more fancy-pants games that showed off my shiny new processor and graphics capabilities.
Now I’ve got my even-more-powerful-than-that Mac happily Boot Camped up to the gills, I find I’ve been returning to the older games more and more. I think the fact that I can run said older games at 60+fps at 1920×1200 is one of the somewhat attractive aspects of this arrangement – especially when I consider that the intro to The Witcher, which I also picked up recently, ran at approximately 1.5fps at 1920×1200. Ouch.
Anyway, now DD is out of the way I’m going to talk about one game in particular which I’ve always had genuine affection for because it’s just so utterly charming. It’s moderately well-known in certain circles for many reasons, but I think there’s an equal or possibly even greater number of people out there who won’t be familiar with it at all. So what is it?
No One Lives Forever
No One Lives Forever, of course; or, to give it its full title, The Operative: No One Lives Forever, hereafter referred to as NOLF for the sake of my sanity.
NOLF is a first-person perspective shooter from the era of games such as the original Deus Ex. DX is actually quite an apt comparison to this game as both proudly boast of the player’s ability to approach situations in a manner of their choosing (normally boiling down to either bursting into a room making lots of noise and shooting everyone in the face, or sneaking into a room quietly and then shooting everyone in the face) and the then-trendy “stealth action” elements.
Where NOLF shines is in its characterisation – both of the game world and of the people in it. NOLF’s world is a brightly-coloured Sixties-inspired caricature of the world of secret agents and acronym-based criminal organisations. Many have compared it to Austin Powers but NOLF’s humour is in many places far more subtle and less slap-you-around-the-face-with-a-vaguely-phallic-object-whilst-shouting-“Laugh dammit!” than Myers’ ouevre. The protagonist Cate Archer, for example, is far from being a wisecracking caricature. In fact, she’s actually quite a realistically-portrayed character battling against the sexist tendencies and chauvinistic attitudes of many people from the Sixties who just happens to get into some spectacularly over-the-top scenarious, including, amongst other things, falling out of a plane without a parachute and having to steal one from an enemy goon on the way down.
This is one of the brilliant things about NOLF – juxtaposition. Cate’s deadpan and sarcastic delivery of many of her lines (including some brilliantly cutting comebacks to aforementioned chauvinism) contrasts brilliantly with the absurdity of some of the situations she finds herself in. Couple this with the famous “overheard conversations” which few games have handled quite as brilliantly as this game, and you get a great spy tale with a wonderful sense of humour infused throughout.
One thing struck me while playing this game, and it was this: first-person shooters used to be fun. I don’t know what it is about recent FPSes but I just don’t enjoy the new ones. I’ve never been inclined to finish a Halo game since the first one, I have absolutely no interest in Crysis and don’t even get me started on Gears of War. Yes, yes, I know, it’s a third-person shooter but it might as well be in first-person for all the blood, gore, shooting, unimaginative gameplay and brown backdrops. (Yeah, you heard.)
NOLF and other games of its era (and earlier) were something else, though. I haven’t been able to pin down exactly what it is I find so compelling about them, though. Maybe it’s the fact that they’re more colourful. Maybe it’s the fact that the gameplay is more varied – for all the great set-pieces in Halo, you were still running around sci-fi themed areas for the duration, whereas NOLF sees you doing everything from diving out of aforementioned plane to doing a deep sea dive to heading to a brilliantly camp Sixties space station, with different gameplay conceits to take into account in each environment. Or maybe it’s the fact that the protagonist is an interesting, compelling character that you feel inclined to stick around with for the duration of their journey. I know I couldn’t give a crap about Master Chief as he’s dull as ditchwater as a character, at least in the way he’s represented in the Halo games – the books may be another matter but as Halo interests me so little I’ve never felt inclined to check it out. Cate, on the other hand, is intelligent, sexy, sarcastic and has a wonderfully dry sense of humour.
I think many modern developers and publishers could learn a lot from revisiting some games from five to ten years ago rather than churning out identikit shooters with pretty graphics. I’d love to see a modern sequel to NOLF. Who knows if it will ever happen?
Next on the Pile are the X-COM games and NOLF2, along with The Witcher, which I’ll post some thoughts on soon.
Don’t worry, I’m not gonna waffle on atcha. It just occurred to me that at least two out of the three games discussed below have awesome soundtracks. In the case of Space Channel 5, it is, of course, the game’s raison d’être but Divine Divinity has a notably good soundtrack also. Castle Crashers, while having a great intro theme, has a somewhat more forgettable soundtrack, though it does suit the action nicely.
So without further ado, here’s a few clips from both games for your entertainment.
Introducing Ulala! (Space Channel 5)
This first tune gives you a strong introduction to Space Channel 5 – it’s played during the first level. By a short while in, you’re left in no doubt as to how you’re supposed to be feeling while you’re playing. Gay. In every sense of the word.
Which One Is Real? (Space Channel 5)
What was the last music game you played with a bebop-like section?
Perfection! Space Elementary School Band (Space Channel 5 Part 2)
You’ll either love or hate the infectious cheerfulness of this track.
Blank TV/Ulala Support Chant (Space Channel 5)
A capella! Awesome. This piece of music sums up the whole “get everyone behind you” thing that makes the finales of the two SC5 games so awesome.
Main Theme (Divine Divinity)
The main theme from the game is an interesting composition, eschewing the kind of “epic” soundtrack that Baldur’s Gate always went for in favour of a more haunting melody.
Forest (Divine Divinity)
This is a simple piece, but evokes a sense of loneliness which is apt for the setting the music appears in.
Bitva (Divine Divinity)
A huge change of pace for this one reflecting the diverse nature of DD’s soundtrack.
Enjoy. You can download the tracks from DD at Larian’s official website. As for SC5? You’re on your own, though resourceful soundtrack collectors probably know the first places to look.
I’ve got three games to talk about today. Depending on my stamina and how long it takes dinner to be ready, this may take more than one post. But I’m sure you can cope with that, and I’ll endeavour not to finish on a cliffhanger… unlike current DVD-du-jour Alias which is currently driving Jane nuts with the cliffhanger that every single episode ends on. Me? I love it, but then I’m a sucker for that sort of thing and could happily sit and watch a whole box set in one go. I’m that lazy.
But I digress. Let’s begin this triptych.
The Antiquity
Divine Divinity
Antiquity in question is actually not that old, hailing from 2002, but it’s actually been sitting on my shelf gathering dust almost since I bought it for full price back upon its release. I’ve started it several times but never played it in any great depth.
“What is it?” I hear you ask. Well, it’s a game with a ridiculous name. Divine Divinity, to be precise, which I can only assume is more meaningful in the original Flemish. It’s an RPG by Belgian developers Larian Studios, who remain relatively little-known to this day, but are currently working on a sequel to DD.
Why did I start playing this? Well, several reasons. When I’m between “big releases” on the consoles, I often think about picking this game up again and playing through it but inevitably something else distracts me. This is much the same reason I have never completed Baldur’s Gate II, despite the fact that I would very much like to. The main reasons I’ve decided to stick with it this time include firstly a thread over on the Quarter to Three forums discussing “Diablolikes” in anticipation for the as-yet-undated release of Diablo III, where DD’s name came up, and secondly remembering that DD was one of the earliest suggestions for the Squadron of Shame to cover, being a game that garnered considerable critical acclaim on its initial release but is still a relative unknown.
So what is it, and why did it gain such acclaim? At first glance, it appears very much to be a Diablolike, right down to having an interface lifted almost wholesale from Blizzard’s classic. However, it’s once you get into the gameplay that it becomes very apparent that it’s an extremely well-thought out game with a lot more depth than the hack-and-slash of Diablo. If you must compare it to things, it’s a curious blend of Diablo, Baldur’s Gate and Fallout – taking, as it does, the real-time “twitch” combat and single-character focus from Diablo, the huge world, character interaction, quest systems and ability to strategically pause from Baldur’s Gate and the interesting barter-based trading system from Fallout.
It’s a blend that works well. What we end up with is a game with considerably more variety than Diablo (not that that game’s purity works against it – on the contrary, it is probably one of the contributing factors that makes it so addictive) and the depth of story and interaction of Baldur’s Gate without any of the scary intimidating (for some) cogs and gears of AD&D 2nd Edition.
Plus it’s huge. We’re talking Baldur’s Gate II huge here. You spend a considerable amount of time in the first village and the dungeon underneath it before going out into the wider world. And said world is pretty huge – particularly due to the fact that what initially appears to be the “overworld” map is actually just a fraction of a much bigger game area filled with things to kill and quests to complete. Part of the joy of the game is just exploring this world and discovering what it has to offer, but there’s a well-structured quest system in place to give you a bit of direction too.
In the foreword to the game manual, the game’s designers note that they hope that people will find “their own way” to play the game, and while there are always obvious limitations on any RPG system to do EXACTLY what you want, I do get the impression that you could play DD quite happily as a Diablo clone, wandering around the wilderness and killing things for experience and only completing storyline-critical quests. On the other hand, the way I’m playing is more like a “traditional” (for want of a better word) RPG where I’m travelling between places and attempting to complete quests in an efficient manner.
It’s a really excellent game, but I can see the size and length putting some people off. I’m certainly glad I’ve decided to give it a chance though, as I’m really enjoying it and fully intend to see it through to the end.
The Rarity
Ulala
This is a game I actually didn’t think existed. I remember reading about it before it came out and then it disappearing without trace. The game in question is Space Channel 5 Part 2. I adored the first game on the Dreamcast and then again on PS2 when it was re-released, despite it being absolutely 100% the most gay game on the planet. And I don’t mean that in an Internet-Fuckwad-“Gay-means-crap” sort of way, I mean that this game is super-gay. Don’t believe me? Watch this clip.
Convinced now? But didn’t you find it utterly infectious? That’s the charm of Space Channel 5, a game which is essentially Simple Simon in a camp 1960s sci-fi parallel universe. Part 2 is more of the same, but it has the dubious honour of being one of the rarest PS2 games ever, at least here in the UK.
The reasoning? It has Michael Jackson in it for a few minutes, and was released around the same time as the TV report that suggested that MJ might be… you know, a bit wrong in the head (like no-one knew that already). As a result, the game was hastily pulled, never to be seen again – so much so that boxed copies of the game now go for up to £100.00 apiece. Yes, US-based readers, that’s about $200 for one game without any peripherals or anything.
Fortunately, I had a stroke of luck in a browse through Amazon and managed to locate a seller who had the game for considerably less than £100 because it wasn’t brand new, but it was pretty much untouched. As a result, I scored the game for under £50 including shipping, and I didn’t think it was going to get any cheaper than that to get my hands on a genuine rarity.
But enough about the hard-to-findness. What’s it like?
Again, it’s super-gay, and super-fun. The gameplay remains fundamentally unchanged, though it adds both a strange two-player mode where one player is in charge of directional inputs and the other is in charge of pressing X and O to “Chu!” and “Hey!” as appropriate along with a survival mode. There’s something about it, though, that makes you want to play it again and again, even though the whole game can be beaten in about an hour, and I think it’s the infectious cheerfulness of the damn thing.
With the number of damn games that have been predominantly brown ever since Quake came along, it’s always refreshing to play a game with lots of bright colours and cheerful music, where even the villains are entertaining rather than threatening. It is impossible to play either Space Channel 5 game and not come out sporting a huge grin on your face. And that’s worth a lot – to have something that’s genuinely uplifting to play is always a pleasure, and it’s something we seem to get a lot less these days as graphics improve to the point where the Holy Grail of “photo-realism” is getting closer and closer.
The Hilarity
Castle Crashers
Castle Crashers hit Xbox Live Arcade this week after three years of anticipation and I’m pleased to report that it’s an excellent game bringing back memories of chugging 50p pieces into the Turtles, Simpsons and Asterix arcade games (and being inevitably frustrated by the shoddy home ports).
It’s also, to tie in with what I said about Space Channel 5, genuinely funny. Developers The Behemoth make a point of creating visually appealing games, as Alien Hominid will attest, but CC is filled with so many laugh-out-loud funny visual jokes that again, it’s a game that makes you smile, and a game best experienced with friends, while drunk.
I’m out of time. There may be more discussion of any or all of these titles later. For now, I hope that’s given you a taste of my current gaming. Screw big releases, these three are keeping me more than busy enough for the moment!
So in an attempt to better understand my audience, such as you are, I’ve been delving once again into the top search terms for my blog. I’m going to take the top ten search terms from the last year and address each and every one of them individually so that hopefully if you’ve been in attendance on this page at some point in the past and found it to be wanting for further information on the topic you searched for, you’ll feel better and more satisfied in your choice of Google links that you clicked on.
(Click to embiggen. Some NSFW. Some NSF anybody. Apparently this character is called “optimized GIF dude” and is something of a meme. I’d never heard of him, actually.)
