2203: Pete Reacts to Growing Older

A significant proportion of the Internet has been up in arms over a recent copyright kerfuffle on YouTube recently, where a collective I’ve never heard of called the Fine Bros had apparently attempted to trademark the word “react”. Digging deeper, it seems that the Fine Bros had done this ostensibly as a means of trademarking the concept of “reaction videos” and allowing others to make videos in the same format — one which the group have had plenty of success with in the past — while allowing themselves an opportunity to profit from licensing fees.

Leaving aside the whole ethical implications of attempting to trademark a common word such as “react” — one of several different “brands” that Fine Bros had attempted to trademark, theoretically as a catch-all term to encompass any specific series they might concoct in the near future — this whole debacle brought one thing into sharp focus for me, and that is that there are certain aspects of modern popular culture that I simply don’t understand the appeal of whatsoever.

The concept of a reaction video is simple. You show some people — preferably from a specific demographic such as “teenagers” or “the elderly” — a thing that is Shocking in some way, then you film what they do while they’re watching or looking at the thing that is Shocking. Early examples of reaction videos included various instances of people seeing the notorious “2 Girls 1 Cup” video (for heaven’s sake, don’t Google that if you’ve never heard of it) as well as well-known shocking scenes from TV or online videos such as Game of Thrones’ “Red Wedding” scene.

Trouble is, in the few reaction videos I’ve managed to stomach, it all feels so painfully forced as to not be entertaining. No-one I know whoops and hollers at the television, bellowing “OH MY GOD!” as something shocking happens. The most I do when seeing something shocking is flinch and wince at something gory, particularly if it involves eyes, but I don’t shout and scream or anything. (That said, given the general difficulty I have with expressing emotions clearly when I’m “in person”, I may not be the most representative example, but none of the people I know are like this either.) In other words, it doesn’t seem believable, with the whole situation being so contrived as to seem utterly pointless.

And aside from the implausibility of some reactions, I simply don’t see the appeal whatsoever. Why on Earth would I want to watch a group of people gathered around a TV that I can’t see all screeching and gesturing at something I may or may not already be familiar with? And, by extension, why on Earth would anyone want to trademark such an utterly inane concept on the arrogant assumption that other people would want to pay them for the dubious privilege of churning out more culturally bankrupt tat like this?

I guess you can just add reaction videos to the ever-lengthening list of things that I just don’t “get” in modern online life. It joins the illustrious ranks of Twitch chat, Twitch in general (unless you’re hanging out with an actual friend), MOBAs, unboxing videos and doubtless a whole bunch of other things I’m not even familiar with yet.

I’m 34 years of age. Some days I feel like I’m still 16. Today, however, I’m feeling every one of those years. Now get off my fucking lawn.