1602: Search Terms

It’s been a long time since I pored over my blog’s stats — largely because I don’t particularly care about them, since I’m writing more for myself than anyone else — but it’s occasionally interesting to take a peek at the search terms that show how people have arrived at this ‘ere site.

For the longest time, my blog’s most popular post was this one, which features animated GIFs of stickmen doing various offensive things to one another. People would show up at my blog through search terms like “stickman sex gif” and the like — why on Earth were so many people searching for this sort of thing when there is far better porn available on the Internet? — and this, consequently, led to that post being consistently popular. Alongside that, some things I wrote ages ago about classic PC games Divine Divinity and No-One Lives Forever proved consistently popular, as did my guide on how to play Kairosoft’s mobile game Pocket Academy.

It’s only been fairly recently that those consistently popular posts have finally fallen off my top search terms — although, looking today, Pocket Academy is still there. Instead, we have a few newcomers.

First up was this post, in which I bemoaned the repetitiveness and utter stupidity of “[brand] sponsors [programme] on [channel]” bumpers on commercial TV channels — specifically, the infuriatingly asinine “Alpen Sponsors Characters on Dave” campaign, which features a middle-aged, bearded man speaking with a funny accent and saying painfully unfunny lines clearly written by a bored advertising executive who was apparently once told by someone that they were “really funny” more to shut them up than anything else. Since said advertising campaign is still running on Dave, it seems there’s a certain degree of interest in this campaign — search terms include people asking who the guy is (I have no idea) and, so far as I can make out, why the fuck it exists.

It seems I’ve become a source of information on certain types of games and types of entertainment, too. Someone arrived today looking for a map of the Endless Road dungeon in Demon Gaze (while I am playing Demon Gaze right now, you won’t find any maps here, sorry), while another person wanted to find out which of the in-game races had the most HP. (I have no idea there either.)

Alongside that, there are just plain bizarre pairings of search terms, the oddest of which is kiss x sis and doctor who, an unholy fusion of a somewhat ecchi anime and the classic, resurrected BBC sci-fi series from which this blog takes its name, but which I do not.

Then there’s the person asking “is bovril good for you” — I have no idea, sorry, though with how salty it tastes, I doubt it — and “waiting for the phone to ring” which, I assume, led them to this post, or possibly this one.

It paints an interesting picture of the people I am somehow attracting to this site — or at least, the type of people that Google feels is appropriate to send over here. Everyone is welcome, one and all; I can’t promise you’ll find what you’re looking for, but hopefully you’ll stumble across something fun in the meantime.