#oneaday Day 131: Thoughts on Star Raiders

1979’s Star Raiders and its 1986 sequel are, to me, two of the most memorable games I’ve ever played. The original Star Raiders was notable for being a pretty convincing simulation of what it might like to be to fly a spaceship and defend a galaxy that absolutely, 100% wasn’t ripped off from Battlestar Galactica, oh no, from the “Zylons”. Sure, it had crude graphics and sound, but its interesting blend of spaceflight, combat and light strategic elements made it a compelling example of early gaming that is actually still perfectly playable today, unlike many other retro “classics”. It also taught me what “red alert” meant long before I ever saw my first Star Trek episode.

Its sequel upped the ante with better graphics, a wider variety of foes to battle against and more things to do than just fly around and shoot Zylons in space — you got to orbit planets, take on motherships, bomb bases and all sorts of things.

Now, some 25 years after the last Star Raiders game made an appearance, we have a brand new one for both Xbox 360 and Windows (and, if Sony ever gets PSN up and running again, PS3.)

I will preface this by saying that if you are thinking about playing this game on a console, just don’t, all right? If you never played Wing Commander III on PlayStation 1, you’ve never known the horror of having too many controls and not enough buttons on your joypad. Hint to developers: if you need to include a “shift” button in your joypad-based control scheme, you may wish to rethink it somewhat.

Try it on a PC with a proper Giger alien-penis joystick and some not-inconsiderable control redefining, though? Now that’s more like it. What we have here is a relatively simplistic space game that, unlike many recent examples, remembers that space is three-dimensional, and that it is, in fact, possible to “loop the loop” in space, along with go up and down, turn left and right and roll around your axis.

A good start. Add a transforming ship to that mix and you have some interesting possibilities. Your all-new Star Raiders ship (called, inexplicably, “Jasper”) can transform between “Attack” (constant forward movement, high top speed, poor turning, guns and missiles), “Assault” (mech-like move-and-strafe, lower top speed, excellent turning, guns and heavy laser beam) and “Turret” (rapid aiming, snail’s pace movement, super-powerful heavy weapons) modes. When I first started playing, I wondered why you’d ever want to switch out of “Attack” mode, until I realised that I was spending an awfully long time chasing down Zylon fighters that were more manoeuvrable than me. So I switched to “Assault” mode and found that I could kill them rather more easily. And “Turret” mode came in handy for dealing with capital ships.

The first few missions were a bit samey, despite claiming to be “recon” and “combat” missions — they all seemed to involve “destroy [x] number of Zylon fighters”, possibly against a time limit. But then the fourth “story” mission came along, which tasks you with finding a piece of a secret weapon that will help you deal with a Zylon secret weapon. Said piece of secret weapon is stashed somewhere in an asteroid. And this asteroid is pretty big. So big that when you’re flying over its surface, you’d be forgiven for thinking you were conducting a planetside mission. Not only that, but part of the mission involves going inside the asteroid, at which point switching to Assault mode effectively turns the game into Descent, which is awesome. I’ll ignore, for now, the fact that the game crashed on me at this point just as I was about to finish that mission.

I wasn’t sure what to think of Star Raiders when I first started playing it. Then I looked at the clock and realised I’d been playing for nearly two hours. So something must be right somewhere. It’s clearly not the original game in any shape or form — the “galactic map” interface in the game is a glorified mission select screen rather than the strategic overview of the original — but what it does offer is a good, fun, if simplistic space combat game with some nice ideas and a horrendously poor control scheme on console.

At £6.99, though, you can probably afford to take a chance on it, though, right?

Oh, if you’re interested, then…

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New (previously-mentioned Descent bit):

#oneaday Day 130: Cats are Awesome

I could write about the whole Brink flame war, but I already did that professionally earlier, so I won’t go over the same ground.

Instead, I thought I’d write about why cats are awesome.

This is inspired by the visit I had today from one of next door’s cats, who is the very best example I’ve ever seen of a curious cat. She came in, demanded a bit of attention (which she got, as I have a genetic condition which means I cannot walk past any cat without at least attempting to pet it) and then proceeded to explore the house. She started upstairs, where she climbed onto my desk, wandered around behind my computer and then trod all over my keyboard while I was trying to send an email. She then looked very tempted to leap out of the window, but I encouraged her not to.

Next, she paid a visit to the lounge, where the piano is. Despite my polite requests for her not to, she jumped onto the piano and looked curiously into the inner workings. The lid was down, I hasten to add, and there clearly wasn’t space for a cat.

Except there was. She managed to squeeze herself into the gap under the lid and disappear completely, the only evidence that she was there at all the sound of the bass strings vibrating slightly. Then a little head poked out as she attempted to extricate herself with some difficulty. I could have put the lid up for her, but she got herself into the situation she was in so she was damn well going to get herself out again.

You don’t often think of animals as having “personalities” but cats very much do. The two cats who used to live in the family home (one after the other, not together, as neither were that fond of other feline company) both had distinct personalities, with Penny, our first cat, being all but convinced she was human and our family doing nothing to dissuade her, even inviting her to have Christmas dinner at the dining table on more than one occasion — and invitation she graciously accepted. Our next cat Kitty, on the other hand, was a bit dim but very affectionate, and made it her mission to make even self-professed cat-haters like her.

I know dogs have personalities too. But they need walking and they poo in the street and are rubbish at entertaining themselves, whereas cats are quite happy sleeping all day, stealing cheese and sunning themselves in the garden, with human interaction only coming when they feel like it, thank you very much.

So yes — given the choice and opportunity to have my own pet? Cats all the way, clearly.

#oneaday Day 129: Professionalism Is

Skills are a funny thing. Unlike in the world of roleplaying games, it’s extremely difficult to quantify skills. Sure, you can go and get yourself a qualification, but it’s not a simple case of repeatedly doing the same thing over and over again until a chime sounds and the words “LEVEL UP!” appear over your head. (Unfortunately. Because that would have made assessing learning in the classroom a whole lot easier.)

No, the vast majority of skills that you (well, I) have are not quantifiable in any sense. I can write — well — but that’s difficult to prove except with, well, writing. I can’t point to a character sheet and say “Look! 85 skill points in writing!” when applying for a job. I can just say things along the lines of “I’m excellent at writing” and “I have a strong attention to detail and think people who use the wrong ‘your’ should be abused with sledgehammers” or the like. I can also correct typos without too many people noticing.

It’s even worse with IT skills. I can use computers, and I have a knack for being able to find creative solutions to problems if something’s behaving strangely. When putting my new PC together the other day, I found myself frustrated with the woeful instructions that came with it and just worked things out for myself. Sure, it took me a little while to figure out that you can actually unscrew and take out 3.5″ drive bays in order to fit a hard drive in them — I thought it was a bit stupid to expect Eugene Victor Tooms levels of contortion just to screw in a storage device — but I got there in the end. (Also, bonus points if you know the reference.) However, the ability to “find things out” isn’t quantifiable in any way, and short of someone plonking me down in front of a broken computer and saying “fix it!” there’s no way I can prove that I’m “good with computers”.

I guess this is where all those lessons you had in Persuasive Writing back in school come in handy. It’s up to you to convince people that you are The Right Person for the Job by using suitably flowery language and/or carefully referencing things you know about the person in question. And it doesn’t always work, as my year’s worth of “we have decided to pursue another candidate” emails and letters will attest.

But oh well. Some good has come of my skills and abilities — I’m writing for sites I like on a freelance basis, and that in itself is giving me a sizeable portfolio of experience that I can point at should I find myself in the running for a full-time position somewhere. While it may not be a character sheet with 85 skill points in the Writing skill, it’s the next best thing.

#oneaday Day 128: That’s Not Very PC

I just bought a new PC. Well, technically, I bought a case with a motherboard, processor, RAM and PSU pre-installed along with a graphics card, the wrong wireless adapter, a hard drive, a DVD drive and a few other little bits and pieces. Technically speaking, it cost a lot of money that I don’t really have, but while I can at least “sort of” afford it (that’s the closest I’m going to get for a while) I figured I’d take the plunge as a birthday treat to myself.

I have it hooked up to my HDTV and it looks glorious at 1080p. Naturally, the first thing I did was download a bunch of stuff from my Steam account that used to run like ass on my Mac and see how well it works on the new machine. Here are my findings so far:

Mass Effect – Silky smooth, character models are blurrier than I remember from the Xbox version, but the gorgeous framerate makes up for that.
The Witcher – Super-sexy hi-res, though the frame rate chugs a bit if there’s a fancy magical effect taking up a lot of the screen. It otherwise looks great, though.
Crysis – Bought for £2.50 in the EA sale the other day even though I have been fairly anti-Crysis in the past — granted, I haven’t played it and was ready to dismiss it as a shooter. But by God that game looks fantastic. Am actually intrigued to play it, too — it seems to be rather different from your typical corridor shooter.
Left 4 Dead 2 – Silky-smooth. Hi-res. Actually playable rather than borderline unplayable.
Borderlands – My God why did I ever play this on a console? (Although the PC interface is a bit crap in the menus.)
Magicka – actually runs and looks like fun. Bit juddery at times though I think that is more down to its questionable programming than performance issues.
TrackMania United – Looks great on a 40″ HDTV and is just as fun as ever. Looking forward to TrackMania 2 now.
Amnesia: The Dark Descent – Had a copy of this for ages, just started. Looks utterly terrifying. Looking forward to it.

So. Looking forward to playing some games the way they are meant to be played. And of course, if any of you want to add me on Steam, you can feel free — Steam community username is, as always, “angryjedi”. Say hey and feel free to send me a message or send me an invite to a game.

Now I’m off to go and shit my pants at Amnesia. See you in the morning. Maybe.

#oneaday Day 127: You Checked In

Gamification pervades our mobile, Internet-connected society. The concept has been around a lot longer than the buzzword, of course, but it’s in recent years that it’s really taken off thanks to all manner of applications that while in practice are mostly pointless, somehow manage to be fun. I guess that’s part of the point.

Take Foursquare, for example, primarily a service to do two things: to tell people where you are, and to find things that are nearby. But add in points, leaderboards and collectible badges and somehow it becomes an incentive to get out and about and explore places. Same with rival app Gowalla, which has a whole other set of things to collect.

When the whole “check-in” craze first started, it looked like it was primarily going to be a location-based service. But no — services like GetGlue popped up, allowing people to check in to the entertainment they were enjoying as well as discuss it with others and find out new things that they like.

Whatever you think about the applications and their uses themselves, all of them contribute to building up a large, mostly user-generated database of Interesting Things, whether those things are places, pieces of entertainment, beers or whatever else you can check in to these days. Would people take the time to put these collaborative databases together if they didn’t feel like they were being “rewarded” for it?

Well, perhaps. Look at Wikipedia — that represents a repository of a considerable amount of human knowledge on topics both important and utterly asinine. There’s no experience levels, badges or anything else there, just the contributors’ knowledge that they have helped with a worldwide effort to collect humanity’s knowledge.

What the “gamification” side of things adds, though, is enough incentive for lazy people to take part. People who write and edit Wikipedia entries are, in all likelihood, interested in their topic enough to be able to write at length about it — not to mention putting up with the seemingly-endless community criticism. Someone who checks into a Foursquare venue and leaves a tip saying “try the beef curry, it’s fantastic and only costs four quid on Tuesdays” is helping out other people who may be stopping by the same beef curry-selling establishment and also feels like they’re having a bit of fun while doing it.

Perhaps the education sector should take note. There’s already an element of gamification in schools, what with marks and grades and so on, but perhaps children would be more engaged with things like reading if there was more of a game-like “incentive” for them to get on with it? Perhaps schools should set up their own GetGlue-style social network to allow kids to check in to what they are doing and earn “rewards” for things like reading books, completing homework and the like.

Okay. You shouldn’t need that sort of thing to get kids engaged — but having worked as a teacher, it’s clear that something should be done to get kids interested rather than apathetic. Perhaps gamification is the way forward for education?

#oneaday Day 126: Bleurgh

Being ill is rubbish. There is no kind of being actually, genuinely ill that is good, whether you’ve got a bit of a cold or your cock has just dropped off from leprosy. (And don’t even think about correcting me about bits dropping off from leprosy. I don’t care because I’m ill and therefore grumpy.)

I’m not talking about pulling a sickie. No, that’s always awesome if you get away with it. That phone call in the morning, the exaggerated coughs and tired-sounding voice, perhaps flushing the toilet to imply you’ve just been vomiting and/or pooing or, in the case of truly serious cases of fake illness, getting someone to phone on your behalf because you’re “too sick to come to the phone” or you’ve “lost your voice”.

No. I’m not talking about that.

Specifically, at the moment, I’m talking about the kind of being ill which just lingers a bit like a bad smell (sometimes literally) but doesn’t actually incapacitate you completely. This is one of the most frustrating kinds of mild illness (I say “mild” because I imagine having cancer or AIDS is probably a lot more frustrating than almost anything in the universe) because you feel like you should be doing things, and that you’re being lame for just wanting to snuggle up under a blanket and watch Battlestar Galactica* all day. But then your body promptly corrects you the second you try to do anything by reminding you that — surprise! — you’re full of snot and therefore can’t breathe or do anything without gasping for breath, mouth-breathing or doing old-man grunts.

This is, of course, rubbish. It’s doubly rubbish if you’re by yourself and have no-one to moan and complain at and look pathetic and hope they bring you chicken soup and bacon sandwiches and mop your fevered brow with a cold flannel or whatever it is that people do for an ill partner. Although the temptation to milk it somewhat if said partner is present is always there. “Oh! I ache so much! I feel like I’m going to die! The only thing that could possibly save me is a packet of crisps and a big cup of coffee! Who will save me from a fate worse than death?”

I’m actually not that bad, really, though I woke up feeling like a newly-reanimated corpse this morning, and my throat has spent the day feeling like I swallowed a tennis ball made of sandpaper. I was all set to go away this weekend, but have decided for the sake of my mildly ill self to give it a miss and try and recover a bit. Hopefully that will work, so I don’t have to proceed through the following week in similar misery and mild illness.

For now, I feel it’s time for Lemsip and Soothers. G’night.

#oneaday Day 125: He’s Having an Episode

Episodic gaming is, for many publishers, the “holy grail” of digital distribution. If they can figure out a way to hook a player in and keep them interested in their piece of interactive entertainment, there’s no reason why it shouldn’t keep going and going and going until people lose interest — like a TV show.

But the trouble is, a lot of developers have great difficulty releasing episodic content in a timely manner. Valve are obviously right out with their years elapsed between Half-Life 2 episodes and the conspicuous lack of Episode Three. Telltale are closer, with their monthly episode, but it’s still not quite the same as a TV show.

Oddly enough, the games that have pretty much got it spot on are two games buried deep in the heart of the App Store that you’ll probably never pay any attention to. But I’m here to tell you that if you’re the slightest bit interested in exploring a bold experiment in episodic interactive content, then you really, really need to try out Cause of Death and Surviving High School, two games built around the same basic visual novel-style engine but which manage to be very different from one another.

Cause of Death is a full-on interactive detective show. It’s presented very simply with static backdrops, text narration and character portraits, but it works extremely well thanks to the attractive artwork, well-written (if overly-peppered with exclamation marks) dialogue, strong characters and excellent music. It’s also interesting in that you regularly switch between different characters — including the victims of crimes, which is an interesting approach. Gameplay is extremely simple, consisting of reading text and occasionally making choices, some of which are against a time limit (and for some of which the correct option is to not make a decision) and acquiring “Detective Score”. Acquiring enough points in each chapter unlocks bonus scenes, so there’s plenty of incentive to do your best.

Surviving High School, on the other hand, is very different, despite using the same game engine. It’s more of a social/dating sim, based around a character you name and choose the appearance of yourself. There’s a lot more “branching” to the story depending on who you talk to, who you choose to date and decisions you make. And there’s a lot more minigames which would be pretty cheesy in a computer-based adventure game (wordsearches, pop quizzes, that sort of thing) but work extremely well on the iPhone’s touchscreen. Again, it’s written with some very appealing (if stereotypical) characters who all have a story to tell. Plenty of replay value, too, as decisions you make mean that you’ll see certain scenes and not others.

But that’s the game you download. The really interesting thing comes in the episodic content. The app you download is “Season One” of the respective game, which tells a complete story and is a satisfying experience in itself. Beyond that, though, there’s a new episode that “airs” every week and can be downloaded for free while it’s available. And past episodes are available “on demand” for a fee — in the case of Cause of Death, you can buy the whole of Season Two for under two quid and it’s then 59p per pair of episodes after that. Haven’t checked Surviving High School yet but it’s probably something similar.

This, right here, is the correct way to do it. Weekly updates mean that people will stay engaged with the game, especially as they’re free while they’re “airing”. Episodes on demand allow the developers to make some money from the games, which can then be ploughed back into development of further episodes or new titles. And because the tech of the games is so simple, it probably doesn’t cost that much to make new episodes — meaning both games are probably nice little money-spinners for EA.

Regardless of how much money EA is making off them, though, they’re both excellent titles for fans of the visual novel style of gameplay, and I will certainly be exploring the further episodes in more detail. Both games have free, ad-supported versions available (and they’re only 59p each for ad-free versions, so they don’t exactly break the bank) so why not check them out?

#oneaday Day 124: Landmark

It’s quite amazing what you find right under your own nose sometime. No, I’m not talking about that disgusting green mucous that dribbled forth from your nostrils when you had that really hot chilli earlier. I’m talking about the cool stuff in the place where you live — or in the places near where you live — that you completely ignore because, well, they’re right there and therefore you take them for granted.

I’m specifically referring to London which, if you’re paying attention, you’ll know I’m currently sitting in. London is full of Awesome Stuff, yet if you work here, or spend most of your visits to our nation’s illustrious capital hunting down job interviews, yelling into a mobile phone or attempting to cross the entire city without leaving a Pret A Manger for more than two minutes then you probably won’t notice them.

I went to the Tower of London today. Yes, the one with the ravens and the executions and all that stuff. It’s an impressive structure, and properly interesting to wander around inside, if only because it’s a very old castle that is pretty much completely intact, although they don’t chop people’s heads off there any more. The Crown Jewels are pretty impressive, too — very sparkly, though a bit too bling for everyday wear, to be honest. And the coronation robe looks a bit like a pair of curtains.

The guided tour around the place — a thing I normally hate with a passion, as you inevitably get stuck behind a sweaty German tourist who is sixteen feet taller than you, has a chronic flatulence problem and no sense of personal space — was highly entertaining thanks to the Yeoman’s sense of humour and entertaining mannerisms. He made the stories about various people having their heads chopped off interesting, and gave some interesting context to the relics and antiquities on display in the museumy parts of the tower.

From the equipment on display, we can conjecture that all previous Kings of England were tanking classes, thanks to their heavy plate armour, though many later monarchs favoured the flintlock pistol, including one absolutely massive one that must have been about eight feet long, thereby disqualifying itself from the “pistol” category somewhat.

Interestingly, there was also a P-90 “Personal Defense Weapon”, last seen in GoldenEye 007 on the Nintendo 64 — and in StarGate, apparently. Oh, and a gold-plated sub-machine gun. And a jewel-encrusted pistol that was actually a working thing, confiscated by the police. Kind of awesome, even if it did actually kill someone.

So anyway, this rambling does have a point: if you live somewhere with something awesome (or near somewhere with something awesome) then for God’s sake go and visit it. It’s famous for a reason.

#oneaday Day 123: Going Underground

The London Underground is, like most subterranean metro systems, something of a mixed blessing. It allows you to quickly and easily traverse London without having to take your own life into your hands every time you cross a road, but sometimes I wonder if the very nature of the transport system makes it less efficient than it perhaps could be.

Take my journey to where I am right now, for example. (In a hotel overlooking Tower Bridge.) I had to catch a Circle Line train from Kings Cross to get here. In order to get from the platform where my train arrived into Kings Cross to the platform where Circle Line trains departed from, I had to walk for a good 10-15 minutes, including up and down a few sets of stairs and through a labyrinthine series of corridors that the Minotaur would be proud of.

It gets worse if you have to change lines somewhere. Not only do you have to walk all the way to the platform, you then have to get off and walk for another 10-15 minutes to get to the other line in the station, which is inevitably a very long distance away, somewhere deep in the bowels of the Earth.

And then when you poke your head back out above ground, you realise that the fifteen stops you’ve taken have actually caused you to travel less than a mile, and that you can still see your starting point from where you are sitting right now.

Despite all this, though, I kind of like travelling on the Underground. It presents a curious assault on the senses, the likes of which you don’t get anywhere else. There’s the smell, for one thing — and I’m not talking about the pissy scent of a tramp who has collapsed, possibly dead, somewhere in the station. I’m talking about that strange smell you get near the platforms. I have no idea what it is, and it’s probably something unpleasant, but I kind of like it.

Then there’s the sound. Underground trains make great noises. From the vwwwwoooooooo they make when they’re moving to the clackity-clack of running over bumpy bits in the track (fear my technical knowhow of how the rail systems of this country work) to the unnecessarily plummy voice of the automated announcement system, there’s a great combination of sounds.

Plus, if you ever get bored waiting for a train, you can always play the Which Rat Is Going To Get Electrocuted First game, the rules of which I probably don’t need to explain.

#oneaday Day 122: Musical Theatre is Gay

I’d write about the fact Osama bin Laden is dead, but it’s probably already been done to death from every possible angle, whether it’s the morbid nature of the celebration of death, or the woefully ill-informed Facebook status updates that resulted from the event. It’s a big deal, of course, but I’m not going to write about it.

No, I’m going to write about how gay musical theatre is. Your interpretation of what I mean by the word “gay” is entirely up to you, thereby absolving me of any responsibility for inappropriate usage.

Anyway. Musical theatre. It’s one of those things that despite myself I find myself liking a great deal — at least the good ones, anyway. And by “good ones”, I mean ones with catchy tunes, preferably with some stupidly silly big chorus numbers that make a massive deal out of something relatively mundane, possibly with tap dancing.

The reason I’m thinking about musical theatre is, of course, partly due to the fact that I saw Chicago at the weekend, and partly due to the fact that I spent most of my 3 hour drive home last night listening to the Spamalot soundtrack. These represent two polar opposites of the musical theatre spectrum — Chicago is pretty serious, though it does have elements of comedy, and is pretty abstract by virtue of the fact that there’s no set, everyone female is dressed in lacy black lingerie throughout and everyone male is dressed in tight waistcoats, trousers and displaying rippling man-torsos. Spamalot, on the other hand, I haven’t seen, but the soundtrack is very much aware of the absurdity of musical theatre and embraces it to produce a particularly enjoyable selection of songs.

Not every musical gets it right, of course. I had the misfortune to listen to some of Whistle Down the Wind at one point and found it immensely tedious to listen to, and also it had crap piano parts. It left me with no desire to go and see the show — it might actually be good, but the fact the music was so dull and morose made me actively want to avoid it altogether.

Also, the presence of Andrew Lloyd Webber on every reality TV show vaguely connected to musical theatre makes me want to avoid anything he’s ever done. Although he does use more interesting key signatures than a lot of other composers, though that doesn’t make his stuff inherently “better”. That’s like saying Gears of War is better than Recettear because there are more polygons. Also, you probably know my stance on Gears of War by now.

I probably have a point somewhere, but the faint delirium of still being pretty tired is causing it to vanish into the ether somewhere. I shall attempt to sum up what may be my point, then, by saying that I, a heterosexual male completely comfortable in my own sexuality (except when on Twitter, when a number of people bring out a frankly terrifying amount of latent gayness) enjoy musicals and have absolutely no shame in this whatsoever.

And they are totally gay. Because they make me smile and fill me with joy.

Hah. See what I did there? I took the word “gay” and… oh, never mind. It just sounds like I like gay things now. Which, if you raid my iTunes library, probably isn’t that far from the truth.