Tag: Wi-Fi

#oneaday Day 579: The Littlest Hobo Journalist

I’m writing this sitting on a hard concrete floor outside a café because I’m using their Wi-Fi but I’m not confident enough in my German to go in and order something.

The fact that you can do this is pretty impressive, though. Laptops have been around for donkey’s years, but the ability to sit in another country, outside, on the floor, getting pins and needles in your legs, and access the Internet is pretty remarkable when you think about it. It’s certainly changed the way a lot of people can do their jobs. Journalists used to sit in offices, now they sit on the floor of German streets like netbook-wielding tramps. (Given the wild growth of my facial hair during my trip, that might not be an altogether inappropriate comparison. I’d shave, but I can’t be arsed at the moment.)

Gamescom is coming to a close, with today being the first of two days that are only for the public. The “entertainment halls”, as the public section is called, are markedly different from the relative peace and organization of the business area. Where the business area is clean, bright, not crowded and with no crap all over the floor, the entertainment area is the exact opposite in every sense. It’s dirty, dark, crowded and the floor is carpeted with discarded leaflets from a thousand different vendors trying to promote their products.

It’s interesting to see, though — having only really been to PAX and Eurogamer, there’s a marked difference in the way the public presentations are handled. For starters, rather than holding behind closed doors panel discussions like at PAX, game developers and publishers get up on stage and put on a show for the audiences right there in the show hall. There’s a lot of shouting, a lot of “call and response” audience interaction, and a lot of scantily-clad women flinging T-shirts into the crowd. I haven’t caught a T-shirt yet, but I did take advantage of the English language Guild Wars 2 presentation to sneak a go on NCSoft’s new WildStar MMO today — it’s really rather good and I suggest you check it out if you get the chance.

I never thought I’d say this, but I am tiring of sausage. Currywurst is awesome, and I really wish we had that curry ketchup easily available in the UK, but when sausage is the only kind of food that’s within easy reach (as appears to be the case once you’re inside Koelnmesse — easier said than done with the German security guards today bringing a whole new dimension of Jobsworthness to their interactions with the public) you start to tire of it surprisingly quickly, particularly when it appears to be a staple at breakfast time, too — honestly, I saw a guy yesterday having a plate piled high with nothing but about ten sausages. The guy obviously needed his protein.

I fly back tomorrow evening and I feel like I’m ready to. Cologne is nice and all, but I’m tired of being self-conscious about my German and the fact I don’t appear to know any nouns. It will be nice to have a rest in my own bed — but not for long, as very shortly I’ll be moving house, which is exciting and awesome.

For now, though, it’s time to go and find some food that isn’t sausage for dinner.

#oneaday, Day 328: Hi, America

Hai, America. You know, I’ve been looking at you for a while and I thought, you know, you’re kinda cool and I wondered if you’d, you know, like to hang out some time, maybe, and get a coffee or something. Cause, you know, I, like, think you’re pretty cool. And stuff.

I’m serious! I like your food. You sure know how to do a good breakfast. It’s a breakfast worth getting up for in the morning. Sure, a typically British bacon sandwich is all very well and good, but there’s little that can beat a stack of pancakes, some waffles, some French toast or indeed the wonder that is Eggs Benedict, which I discovered the other morning after spending the night with you.

You know what else? And this is going to sound a bit weird, ’cause I wonder how many people compliment you on this, but I think your bread is awesome. Sure, you can get fancy-pants bread from fancy-pants bakeries in the UK, but your everyday sort of bread, the sort that you make everyday toast and sandwiches from? That’s functional at best, dry and sawdusty at worst. You make me appreciate a good sandwich. And I like sandwiches at the best of times. But you make me appreciate them more. I like that.

You also seem to have the art of the takeaway down to a fine art. We Britons of Britainland believe that we are the masters of the Chinese and Indian takeaways, but I can honestly say that I think yours are better. Your Indian curries are creamy and smooth and delicious, and your Chinese meals are full of flavour and they come in those awesome little cardboard boxes with the lids that are a good shape to eat the food straight from with a pair of chopsticks, instead of those foil trays with the cardboard lids that are always way too hot to put on your lap.

Since we’re being honest here, I don’t like how you use the word “an” before words that start with an “h”, which isn’t a vowel, and you spell “aluminium” wrong, not to mention your seeming aversion to the letters “u” and “s”. Also, as our beloved comedian Eddie Izzard says, “herb” is pronounced “herb” because “there’s a fucking ‘H’ in it”.

But you know what? I don’t care. I can accept your flaws because they make you more colorful (see what I did there?) and interesting. I can accept that you use the word “momentarily” different to the way I do, and I think it’s charming. All your sweet, nutty bread and pancakes and Hollandaise sauce on eggs and love of good coffee and ability to put free Wi-Fi hotspots in places other than Starbucks just make me think that, you know, you’re pretty sort of kind of cool and I think it’d be, you know, nice if we could, um, spend a bit more time together. If you know what I mean.