So, at the time of writing, the No. 1 free iPad app and No. 2 free iPhone app is this game. A quiz. About logos.

This seems to be something of a craze at the moment, as it’s far from the only title like this available in the App Store, and doubtless there are similar offerings on Android that I can’t be arsed to look up right now.

This is what we’re reduced to for entertainment now? Seeing how deep the brainwashing of advertising has burrowed into our skulls? I’d argue that scoring highly on one of these quizzes is not anything that we should particularly be proud of, as all it simply proves is that advertising has successfully drilled its way into your subconscious.

The same goes for anyone who uses the word “simples”, describes anyone as being “so Money Supermarket” non-ironically or sings that bloody “Go Compare” advert. (If you do the latter, I will likely punch you in the face. If you do the “so Money Supermarket” one, whether or not you get punched in the face will depend entirely on how good your Patrick Stewart impression is.)

The counter-argument to this, of course, is that many of these brands, logos and slogans have transcended their original meanings and become pop culture phenomenons or memes in their own right. And to an extent that’s true, but I can’t shake off the feeling that these things have been forced into the public consciousness, while true phenomena and memes should grow organically, naturally and without marketing spend. In many cases, they do, of course — look at the Know Your Meme page for Katawa Shoujo or the astonishing popularity of My Little Pony among people that it wasn’t originally intended for, for example. But I think we can all agree that anyone who takes an opportunity to sing the Go Compare song is a grade-A arsehole of the highest order.

Perhaps I’m just being grouchy. Or perhaps I’m just fed up with feeling like I can’t escape advertising any more. It seems to encroach on my time more and more. It’s all over the Internet. I get text messages from lawyers inviting me to seek compensation for the accident I supposedly had (funny, I don’t remember it). I get phone calls from twats trying to sell me shit even though I’m registered with the TPS. (Note: this is the main reason I never answer my landline. Call my mobile if you need to speak with me.) I get people knocking on my door trying to sell me double glazing or get me to switch energy suppliers. It’s plastered over certain games. It’s smeared all over Facebook like festering shit. It encroaches on Twitter occasionally in the form of “Promoted Tweets” and “Promoted Users” — though these are, thankfully, easy to ignore. I even had to remove a Chrome extension yesterday because it was inserting an ad at the bottom of every page I viewed.

Ads allow things to be put out there for free, of course, and without them we’d be having to pay a lot more money for the things that we do, so I guess we should sort of be grateful for them. That said, it doesn’t excuse the sleaziness of some ads, particularly on the Internet — take the large “Download” links on software sites, for example, or the “You Have 1 New Message/Virus/Picture” banners you get on mobile apps. Or indeed the “lose 3 tons of belly fat with one weird old tip” thing. (Spoilers: you probably won’t, otherwise the world would be talking about it.)

You know what? Thinking about it, I’d actually be happy to pay for more things and have them advertising-free. I pay for Spotify premium and don’t have ads. I’ll happily pay to remove ads in iOS games I intend to play for more than five minutes. I pay for Netflix and get movies and TV shows without ad breaks. I’d even happily hand over some money to WordPress if it became a premium-only service, such is the excellent use I’ve got out of it for free over the years.

In short, provide me with a quality product and the means to not be battered around the face with people trying to sell me shit I don’t want, and I’ll happily hand over some money. Yell “Buy! Buy! Buy!” repeatedly at me with no means of respite and I will, yes, punch you in the face.