#oneaday Day 28: A Developer Has Responded

In theory, the opportunity for developers to respond to user reviews on storefronts such as Steam, Google Play and the like should be a good thing. It should provide the opportunity for the developer in question to open a dialogue with a customer — be they satisfied or dissatisfied — and help move things in a positive direction in one way or another.

How it actually works, meanwhile, is quite different. Because most developers, it seems, can’t be bothered to do anything other than a stock response to everyone, even when it’s woefully inappropriate to do so.

I’d like to share with you a review I wrote recently, in which I found a “teleprompter” app for Android (this one, if you’re curious, which was recommended by one of the bajillion SEO-baiting “best teleprompter apps for mobile” articles festering on the modern Web) but was dismayed to discover it was asking for an extortionate subscription fee rather than a flat price. I am pretty vehemently against subscription fees for simple, single-purpose apps, particularly when they don’t have an online component, and I made this clear in my review.

A screenshot of a review on Google Play. The review is by Pete Davison and was posted on June 27, 2024. It gives the application one star. The text reads "This seems ideal for my needs, but it's a subscription-based app. I want to just purchase the software, not pay £4.99 every month. I would have paid £4.99 to buy a premium version of this app without hesitation, but asking for that every month is ridiculous."

Not unreasonable, I don’t think. Now let’s look at the developer’s response:

A screenshot of a developer's response on a Google Play app store review. It is attributed to "Norton Five Ltd" and dated June 28, 2024. The text reads "Thanks for your feedback Pete. The subscription model allows us to invest in continuing to improve the app and introduce new features. There is an annual subscription option, which does offer better value for money than the monthly one if budget is tight. You can also cancel at any time. Hope you'll reconsider and give the subscription a go." The text concludes with a smiley face emoticon and is signed "Phil".

Now this is an excellent developer response. “You think the monthly subscription is too expensive, so why not use the more expensive annual one” is a ballsy move, to be sure. “You don’t like monthly subscriptions, but it’s okay because you can cancel any time and lose access to the app you paid for” is also high up my list of “stupid things to say”.

More than that, it’s just plain bollocks. This comment is symptomatic of a widespread issue with all manner of software today, whether they be single-purpose mobile apps or more elaborate services. And that issue is that everyone seems to see a perpetual need to “introduce new features”.

I’ll remind you that when I came across this app I was looking for something that did one thing and one thing only: provide a “teleprompter” facility that I can use on my phone. To elaborate, that means provide the ability to display some text on the phone’s screen while the camera is recording, allowing me to make “eye contact” with the camera while reading from a script.

This app does that already. It does not need any new features. It is already fit for purpose, aside from the subscription fee. Therefore it does not need additional development or new features to be introduced. (Especially not a “Rewrite your script with AI!” feature, which it proudly boasts.) Perhaps a compatibility update every now and then to ensure it works with whatever current version of Android has been loaded onto my phone without telling me this week. But that does not warrant a fee of five quid a month or even twenty quid a year.

As I said, I would have quite happily paid a fiver up front for the app, and that’s being extraordinarily generous in the mobile space, given that most people don’t like paying more than 79p for anything.

The stock response from “Phil” about “introducing new features” and “continuing to improve the app” didn’t convince me in any way that the subscription fee was worth paying, and I suspect he knew that as he copy-pasted the words into the response box. So why did he bother posting it at all? Just so the fact he “responds to feedback”, even if it is with utterly stupid suggestions, is visible to anyone browsing the page and not looking too closely?

A few minutes later, I found another teleprompter app that does just charge once and then doesn’t bother you again. So I bought it without a moment’s hesitation. Don’t stand for exploitative, predatory subscription models, particularly on mobile where it’s extremely easy to forget about them. And support those folks who are actually providing a good, useful piece of software without trying to fleece you.

And Phil? Eat a thousand cocks.


Want to read my thoughts on various video games, visual novels and other popular culture things? Stop by MoeGamer.net, my site for all things fun where I am generally a lot more cheerful. And if you fancy watching some vids on classic games, drop by my YouTube channel.

2238: Mobile Games Aren’t Always Shit: Mister Smith Edition

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A lot of mobile games are shit. Some are just a little bit shit. Some are really shit. The upside of this unfortunate situation is that when something enjoyable and fun comes along, it’s all the more noteworthy as it becomes as a sparkling diamond, floating majestically atop the sea of shit that is the mobile games marketplace in 2016.

The trouble with a lot of mobile games is that they try to be something they’re not: they try to be big-budget, triple-A experiences — inevitably using the term “console quality” somewhere in their description — but then more often than not ruin the experience in two major ways: firstly, by hobbling the player experience by making it free-to-play and consequently limiting their enjoyment unless they repeatedly pay up (or, in some cases, grind until they want to kill themselves), and secondly, by using god-awful touchscreen approximations of joypad controls, which never, ever work because touchscreens don’t have buttons you can feel and consequently you can’t do the “muscle memory” thing you can do with an actual controller in your hand.

No indeed, the best mobile games out there make the best use of the platform that they’re on and the context in which people use them. Mobile phones these days are used 1) when you don’t want to talk to people around you, 2) when you’re on the toilet, 3) when you’re waiting for some form of public transport and/or friends to arrive and 4) when you can’t sleep. As such, the ideal mobile gaming experience is something that you can do during any of these activities without having to think too much, display any sort of manual dexterity beyond tapping a few clearly indicated things with your fat, greasy fingers or commit yourself to any sort of lengthy play session — that train might turn up any minute, after all, despite the automated announcement assuring you that it is “very sorry” for the delay to this service.

Anyway. I found a good mobile game the other evening while I couldn’t sleep. It’s called Mister Smith and His Adventures, it’s published by Ayopa Games and penned by Scotland-based comedy writer Steven McDade whose work, in his own words, “hasn’t quite crossed the line to allow for fame, fortune, adulation or comedy legend status”. Based on Mister Smith, however, McDade should have a bright future ahead of him, as his breezy, conversational writing style is immediately appealing, and an excellent fit for a game such as Mister Smith and His Adventures.

But what is Mister Smith and His Adventures? Put simply, it’s a very straightforward interactive novel with quizzes. Telling the story of Mr Mister Smith [sic], it unfolds over the course of several distinct stories, during which you have the opportunity to make a number of choices to determine how things unfold, and how farcical the outcome of Mister Smith’s various adventures will be. Along the way, based on your choices, you’ll be presented with a number of quiz questions in various categories, which will ultimately score you in the fields of Knowledge, Bravery, Friendship and Love and present you with a final score for the story based on how many questions you got correct and how quickly you answered.

To be honest, the quizzes seem a little forced at times, but McDade recognises this and lampshades them effectively during the narrative, and given the light-hearted, silly tone to the narration, it’s not a big problem; it gives the game a degree of replay value, after all, particularly as it’s riddled with achievements for making different choices and answering certain particularly challenging questions correctly. For those who particularly enjoy the quizzes, there are some “stories” that focus exclusively on the quiz aspect, though these are still written in McDade’s distinctive authorial voice, which makes them a lot more entertaining than other, drier quiz apps on the App Store and Google Play.

McDade’s business model for the game is a good one: you can download it for free, and play the tutorial and first story without paying a penny, after which you have a few choices. You can unlock new stories by repeatedly playing the ones you’ve already done to earn “Smiths”, which can be spent on the new stories and quiz packs currently available. You can purchase bundles of Smiths to selectively purchase stories without grinding. Or you can slip McDade a couple of quid to unlock the game completely, remove all advertising (mostly for itself) and gain immediate access to all new stories as McDade writes and publishes them into the game through automatic updates.

After playing the first two stories, I was more than happy to take the latter option; McDade’s writing is very readable (although there are a couple of typos here and there), the game presents it in short, easily digestible sections with endearing stylised illustrations, and each story is enjoyable and self-contained while helping us to build up a more complete picture of who Mister Smith (and Paul) really is as a person.

It’s an extremely simple idea, and one that works very effectively. It’s a well put together, well-presented game that uses the mobile format well, and I hope to see a lot more of in the coming months; I sincerely hope that McDade finds some success with it, and that it helps him to kickstart his comedy career.

You can download Mister Smith and His Adventures for iOS here, or Android here.