1194: Courting the ‘Core’

Social games, it’s fair to say, have a bad reputation among those who are euphemistically referred to as “core gamers”. This bad reputation isn’t altogether unjustified, of course — social games are, in many cases, derivative, exploitative or just plain boring — but despite the prevalence of Men In Suits (or, probably more accurately, Men In Trendy T-Shirts And/Or Turtleneck Sweaters) who have never played a video game before in their life running the show for the most part, there’s a lot of talent in that particular sector of the industry.

So why the hell doesn’t this part of the industry do more to attract the “core”?

It’s at this point that, if I was talking about this in person with someone directly involved with the industry, that they would point to one of the following facts: 1) Candy Crush Saga having approximately 15 million daily active users; 2) CSR Racing on iOS earning somewhere in the region of $12 million a month when it launched; 3) The Top Grossing chart on iOS being dominated by games that are free to download.

These are all facts, and cannot be ignored. However, that doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re good things. As I’ve said many times in the past, just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should. Candy Crush Saga has 15 million daily active users because it nags them via notifications to come back and play; CSR Racing earned $12 million a month by forcing people to pay up for “gas” for their cars if they didn’t want to wait; and don’t even get me started on what I think of the Top Grossing chart on iOS and the awful crap therein.

Aside from these matters, the fact that the social and mobile games sectors aren’t courting the “core” more aggressively is just baffling to me. While those who identify as “core” gamers — i.e. those who will happily sit down in front of a computer or console for several hours at a time to use it as their primary means of entertainment rather than an idle timewaster — do not exist in as vast a number as those who have a Facebook account and who have tried Candy Crush Saga at least once, there are some important things to bear in mind.

Most crucially, of those 15 million daily active users that Candy Crush Saga has, only a tiny fraction of them actually pay anything. Some of them might pay a lot — these people are rather revoltingly referred to as “whales” by people in the industry — but an awful lot of them will either refuse to pay out of principle or just not enjoy the game enough to want to spend money on it.

Here’s the thing: “core” gamers spend a lot of money. “Core” gamers will happily spent £40 on a brand new game without having read a review. “Core” gamers will pay a premium to get pointless cool stuff that they can show off. “Core” gamers are a lucrative source of income, in other words. Much as it pains me to break it down that way — I’d much rather games be seen as creative works than business products — it is, in fact, true.

So, then, I have to question why more of an effort isn’t being made to make “core” gamers take social and mobile games seriously. Because it’s not. “Core” gamers see the majority of social and mobile games as a massive joke — a festering boil on the arse of the industry; a source of interactive entertainment that doesn’t create “proper games” and instead puts out the very worst sort of shovelware.

They’re right, to an extent. So here’s a few things the social and mobile sectors could do to be taken a bit more seriously by potentially one of the most lucrative markets out there.

Stop ripping the same things off all the time.

Seriously. Cut it out. We’ve all played Puzzle Bobble. We’ve all played Bejeweled. Stop trying to make out your puzzle game is new and innovative when, in fact, it is simply either Puzzle Bobble or Bejeweled (or, in a few cases, Jawbreaker).

If you must draw inspiration from past titles, that’s fine; just stop drawing inspiration from such a small pool. Just in the puzzle game genre there are hundreds of great games begging for a social adaptation — Columns, Klax, Super Puzzle Fighter II Turbo, Puzzle League, Dr Mario, Baku Baku Animal… I could go on — so why are we constantly subjected to the same “match-3” bollocks over and over?

This isn’t just an issue in the puzzle genre — social RPGs all rip off Mafia Wars; farming sims all rip off FarmVille; citybuilders all rip off CityVille, and none of them were actually that good in the first place.

Stop ripping yourself off.

If you already have a match-3 puzzle game in your portfolio, you don’t need another one. King, currently the biggest social game company in the world thanks to the aforementioned Candy Crush Saga, is terrible for this. Now that Candy Crush Saga is the top performing game on Facebook, they’ve put out another game. What kind of game do you think that is? That’s right; a game where you swap coloured things around to make groups of 3 in horizontal or vertical lines. Only this time they’re fruit and vegetables!

Or how about Kabam, who have now released the exact same game with slightly different graphics and a different name four times (Kingdoms of Camelot, Kingdoms of Camelot: Battle for the North, Arcane Empires, The Hobbit: Kingdoms of Middle-Earth) and no-one (except me) has called them on it.

The fact that people buy into this is just depressing.

Hire some fucking writers.

Quite a few social games these days are very well presented, with quality graphics and decent sound and music. In many cases, they actually create quite an impressive atmosphere… until the player is asked to read anything and it becomes very apparent that the “plot” of the game, such as it is, was written by a dyslexic Russian 10-year old who had just played Magic: The Gathering for the first time.

Good writing is just as important as the more immediate parts of your game’s presentation. Don’t skimp on it. And even if you’re not going for an epic plot in your game — incidentally, puzzle games do not need plots, so just stop trying to cram one in — at least get someone to proofread the in-game text, fix any typos and glaring grammatical errors… and make sure if you’re releasing it in English-speaking territories that all of the game’s text is actually in fucking English.

A shout-out to 5th Planet Games here, who actually make an effort with this sort of thing, even if the gameplay of the games sometimes isn’t up to much; Legacy of a Thousand Suns may be a Mafia Wars ripoff in terms of gameplay, but at least it has some consistently well-written story text throughout, unlike Mafia Wars, which didn’t even try in this regard.

Stop using outdated tech.

Adobe is winding down Flash support, so it’s time for Web-based games to do the same. Relying on Flash means that you limit yourself to those using a computer that supports Flash, and excludes those on tablets and mobile phones. There are a ton of cross-platform solutions available now that allow you to deploy an app on the Web, mobile platforms and as a standalone PC, Mac or Linux executable, so there’s really very little excuse for not using one.

Not only that, but your average computer these days is more than capable of dealing with some simple 3D graphics — in fact, most are more than capable of handling decent-quality 3D graphics. Unity is a solid option that makes porting between platforms a snap; use it.

Stop using stupid, inappropriate aesthetics.

This is what the artwork for the CSI Miami Facebook game looks like:

This is a screenshot from the official House M.D. Facebook game, developed by the same team:

And this is what a zombie looks like in the Walking Dead social game:

I don’t think I really need to say anything else on that note.

If it doesn’t belong in the game, don’t put it in the game.

You want to keep your players coming back day after day? Don’t shoehorn in a stupid roulette game that makes absolutely no thematic sense whatsoever; instead, simply make a good game that people will want to keep playing.

Stop assuming I’m an idiot.

“Core” gamers have played games before. They don’t need your tutorial to unfold over the course of the first 20 levels of your puzzle game. Make it brief, and make it skippable.

Along the same lines, it’s okay to tell someone to do something and then not put a gigantic flashing arrow over the top of it and simultaneously darken the rest of the screen, just in case they missed the gigantic flashing arrow. Allow the player to experiment and discover things for themselves rather than pointing every single thing out to them. At the same time, provide a detailed Help file and/or tooltip system so that they can look things up if they aren’t clear.

On a slightly different but related note, it’s okay for games to be complex. Again, “core” gamers have played games before and are okay with complex mechanics. Important note: “complex” is not the same as “boring”. Kabam and anyone else making “midcore strategy games”, please learn this.

Make it so fun I want to pay, not so inconvenient I have to pay.

This is the biggie. Monetisation is the biggest challenge in free-to-play gaming in general, and particularly in mobile and social games, which often attract huge audiences but relatively tiny proportions of paying customers.

“Core” gamers do not like feeling nickel and dimed. Look at the negative response to stuff like Dead Space 3, or Real Racing 3 — both of which, not coincidentally, are by EA.

“Core” gamers also do not like having their time wasted. This does not mean that they will pay to bypass wait timers in your game; it means they will simply stop playing.

Provide “core” gamers with stuff they can buy that improves their experience, but which doesn’t break the game. Throw out that stupid energy system — a “core” gamer will stop playing when they’re good and ready, not when you tell them to stop. Throw out that “it takes three hours of real time to harvest your crops” bullshit — if you explicitly send them away, they won’t come back. Instead provide them with cool stuff that they want to show off — new outfits for their character, new paint jobs for their car, new background music or even whole new levels or areas to explore. If you want a good example of how to do it right, look at stuff like DC Universe Online and Perfect World’s free-to-play MMOs — all are satisfying to play for free, but all offer a ton of non-game-breaking benefits to those willing to pony up and buy some premium currency.

Talking of which…

Quit the “pay to win” crap.

“Core” gamers complain. A lot. Particularly when they believe that a game isn’t being fair. They’ll whinge about mages being nerfed, shotguns being OP’d and generally anything else that breaks the game balance. “Core” gamers play a lot of games and are thus very good at spotting when a game is unbalanced to an unfair degree. Do not make your game so that a crap player can buy their way to dominance over a skilled player; make it so the crap player wants to get better at the game. Reward the skilled player with cool stuff and allow the crap player to see all the awesome stuff they could earn if they were just a bit better; but don’t allow them to buy their way to success.

Along the same lines, quit the “Get More Coins” nonsense. Part of the satisfaction of experiences like role-playing games and business sims for “core” gamers is feeling like they’ve struggled against all odds to earn their rewards. The second you allow them to simply purchase all the money in the game world for $50, you devalue those rewards and make them meaningless. You also, again, break the game balance. Instead, pace your game in such a way that the rewards are earned at a good, satisfying rate, and save the paid stuff for purely cosmetic items. If you must use a virtual currency for premium items, make it a completely separate currency that it’s clear can only be acquired through spending money. Keep the “Cash Shop” stuff separate from the normal shop. And for heaven’s sake stop plastering the screen with special offers and other sparkling icons — nothing breaks the atmosphere of your otherwise well-rendered fantasy world quicker than a large flashing icon bellowing about “20% Off Gems!”

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I accept that many of these things are more difficult to implement than what is being done by many mobile and social games now. But they, among other things that I’ve undoubtedly forgotten — feel free to chime in in the comments — are why “core” gamers do not take mobile and social games seriously.

Court the “core” and you’ll make a lot of money. Continue to alienate them, however, and you’ll always be a big joke to a significant proportion of people who are willing to spend a lot of money on their favourite hobby.

1173: Am I Missing Something?

Yesterday, game-centric social network Raptr reported that in the month of March, its members played more of King’s Candy Crush Saga than StarCraft II, World of Tanks and Halo: Reach (all historically very popular games) combined.

This is significant for a number of reasons. Firstly, it shows that Raptr is getting some pretty wide usage by more casual gamers as well as those who care about achievements, hour counts and whatnot — demonstrating (arguably) that a lot of people playing Candy Crush Saga are “serious” enough about their gaming to sign up for a game-centric social network and tracking service.

Secondly, it shows something we all know: the vast numbers of people playing Facebook and mobile games far outstrips those who have perhaps grown up with the industry and who play what one might call “traditional” video games — players whom mobile and social gaming companies euphemistically refer to as “core” gamers.

The second point isn’t all that surprising; how many people do you know who don’t have a Facebook account? While we’re not yet in a world where every single person is permanently jacked in to the social network via a transmitter in their spinal column, I’m willing to bet that regardless of your age, there’s probably a large proportion of the people you know who have Facebook accounts, and of those people most of them have probably tried playing some games at least once. The exact same situation is true when we consider smartphone ownership these days — of those who have acquired a new mobile phone recently, it’s highly likely that it was one of the two most well-supported platforms out there: iOS and Android. And of those who haven’t acquired a new mobile phone recently, a lot of people are investigating tablets as a home computer solution — pretty much all of which run, you guessed it, iOS and Android.

It’s the first point that surprises me, though. Raptr is the sort of service that is historically only of interest to those “core” gamers we mentioned earlier, as your average soccer mom who only plays games on Facebook has no real need or desire to keep up with industry happenings or the latest stupid thing that a Microsoft employee has said on social media — let alone how their number of hours played stacks up against their friends. So what does it mean when the number of hours racked up on Candy Crush Saga outstrips some of Raptr’s most heavily-tracked, popular titles?

Well, it could mean one of a couple of things. Firstly, it could mean that Facebook and/or mobile gamers are more serious about tracking their playtime and achievements in the games they play than most people thought. I find this rather difficult to believe, to be honest, as the sort of people who only play Facebook and mobile games are typically playing them as a means to fill a spare few minutes rather than as an engaging form of entertainment that they feel particularly passionate about.

Secondly, it could mean that those “core” gamers out there are playing Facebook and mobile games as well as (apparently, more than) “traditional” computer and console games that are aimed specifically at them? Judging by the notifications that pop up on the Raptr client that runs on my PC, this is much more likely; there are several people on my friends list whom I would describe as “core” gamers by that definition, but who are regularly seen playing everything from FarmVille to Marvel Avengers Alliance and Candy Crush Saga.

One question, though: why?

No, seriously, why?

If you’re a “core” gamer by the popular definition, you’re serious about your interactive entertainment. You might play games instead of (or as much as) watching movies and TV shows. Your exact reasons for playing may vary — those who enjoy Call of Duty play it much like a competitive team sport, while people like me prefer narrative-centric experiences that stimulate similar parts of the brain to movies and TV shows — but the fact is, you’re highly likely to make time for your gaming rather than indulge in it as an idle diversion. You’ll sit down, you’ll play a game for a not-inconsiderable amount of time, then you’ll switch off and do something else. Or pass out with the controller in your sweaty mitts.

So if you’re investing time and probably money into what is, after all, a hobby rather than a mindless pastime, why, dear “core” gamers, aren’t you playing anything better? Don’t get me wrong, Candy Crush Saga has performed so well because it’s a polished product that is pretty accessible even to those who haven’t played many games before, but 1) it’s a Bejeweled ripoff, and Bejeweled 3 (or just Bejeweled as it is called on mobile) is a better game with more variety; 2) it’s rammed to the gills with obnoxious enforced “social” features that don’t actually promote social interaction at all (ask for lives! ask friends to unlock levels! brag about your score!); 3) it’s rammed to its other gills with obnoxious monetization — aside from the fact that every so often you’ll run into a wall where it literally just stops you from playing unless you either wait for several hours or pay money, there’s one powerup in the game that costs £35 and can be used once per level. Thirty-five pounds. Bejeweled 3, which, as previously mentioned, is an infinitely superior game that doesn’t bug you every five fucking seconds to insert coins or invite friends, costs £14.99 — less than half the price of that one powerup in Candy Crush Saga — on Steam (and is regularly reduced in price in sales), and sixty-nine pence on mobile phones.

“But Candy Crush Saga is free to download!” I hear you cry. “Surely people aren’t dimwitted enough to repeatedly spend money on this when they could just buy a copy of Bejeweled outright and then never have to pay again!” Wrong. Candy Crush Saga is, as I write this, the number 1 Top Grossing app on the App Store. Note: “app” not “game”. (It is also the number 1 Top Grossing game, but that shouldn’t be surprising given its other position.)

Let me reiterate that. Candy Crush Saga, which is free to download, is making more money than apps that cost money. By a significant margin. It is making more money than high-quality productivity apps for professionals, which typically carry a relatively hefty price tag. It is making more money than high-quality “pay once, play forever” games. It is making more money than Bejeweled, which is basically the same fucking game for the price of a packet of Chewits. It is making more money than anything else on the App Store.

It is at this point I throw my hands up and say I absolutely do not understand why this is the case. It absolutely boggles my mind, because I can see why I wouldn’t want to repeatedly and indefinitely churn money into a game that isn’t noticeably better than another game I’ve already paid for once (Bejeweled), so why can’t these hundreds, thousands, millions of other people? It does not make any sense whatsoever. And this isn’t even considering the question above of why on Earth “core” gamers are apparently playing this game so much when there is so much other good stuff out there — too much for one games enthusiast to ever hope to fit into one lifetime, even if they became hikikomori in order to try and do so.

I am so, so torn about this sort of thing, and have been for a while now. On the one hand, it’s great that more and more people are embracing video games as a pastime, form of entertainment or even hobby. On the other, the swathes of people who are coming to gaming as a result of free-to-play mobile and social games are perpetuating a business model that, while immensely profitable, is not particularly friendly to the consumer and is actually quite unsafe to people who don’t keep a tight rein on their finances. More people playing games? Good. Sending the message that charging £35 for one powerup is okay? Very, very bad.

#oneaday Day 510: Come Play with Me

Some of you may not be aware that I’ve been writing regular pieces on up-and-coming social games for Inside Social Games. A number of things have become apparent during my ongoing whistle-stop tour of the social gaming space. Firstly, Facebook games are getting better, and secondly, there’s still a lot of work to do.

Here’s a few things that, to my mind, would improve the Facebook gaming experience immensely. I’m not a professional analyst, nor have I done extensive research into online usage habits, so I imagine a man with a beard bigger than mine will probably be able to counter each and every one of these arguments, but anyway. This is my opinion — and some games do one or more of these already, so fair play to them, I say.

Stop copying each other.

Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, but when you’re making a game that is mechanically and aesthetically identical to a competitor’s product, you’re not giving a potential player a reason to play your game. Differentiate yourself — and not just by making the game in a different setting. Ripping off two distinct but similar titles does not count either, so if you make a city-building game where you can farm crops, think of something better. Little Cave Hero is a good example — while the city-building mechanics are similar to a million other titles out there, there are extra bits, such as your “factory” structures producing crap that either you or a friend have to clean up, user-generated content, and then the meat of the game — puzzle-based mine exploration.

Stop insisting I “share” everything.

The number one complaint people have about Facebook games is when a player spams their wall (and, in worst cases, other people’s walls) with bollocks about what they’ve just “achieved”. The reason for this is that in the vast majority of social games, completing any mundane task pops up a huge window inviting you to share your “achievement” with friends. In some more extreme cases, the “Share” button is much more obvious than the “No thanks, kindly piss off” button.

Sure, there’s a viral marketing thing at work here — but at least make it optional for people who just want to play the game. Add a Share button, sure, but don’t make it quite so in-your-face. Better yet, add the option for players to switch off notifications like this altogether.

Stop insisting I “give you a five star review”.

By all means solicit user feedback. But to be perfectly honest, many average Facebook users either aren’t that bright, aren’t very computer literate or — in some hopeless cases — are neither. As a result, many of them are apparently incapable of doing anything other than what is written in front of them. Invite them to “write an honest review” rather than “give a five star review” and you might get some honest, if badly-spelled, feedback. Invite them to “give a five star review” and you’ll get lots of five-star reviews, very often with no feedback whatsoever. This not only makes Facebook’s app rating system utterly worthless, it also removes a potential way for players to get their voices heard.

If you want me to Like your page, post something worth following and commenting on.

Screenshots of your game are not interesting — I’ve played it. I know what it looks like. Attempts to engage with the community are interesting. Take a vote on what new quest you should add next, or what character you’d like to see more of. Let the community play a part in the development of the game.

Stop claiming you’re the “first/best/most [something] on Facebook”.

If everyone says it — and they do — no-one believes it. If your game’s good, word will spread, both via the press and word of mouth. The elusive “core gamer” market isn’t going to flock to your Facebook game just because you say it’s built for core gamers.

Give my friends something to do.

Yes, being able to look at a friend’s town is cool. But it’s ultimately pretty meaningless if I can’t interact with anything there. Let us do stuff together. Provide some multiplayer content, or rebalance the single player content for people to play together — perhaps even simultaneously! Diablo did this years ago.

My friends aren’t going to want to play or add me as a neighbour if there’s no real reason to do so.

Don’t break the game with your premium items.

By all means monetize your game — you made it, so you deserve to earn something from it. But don’t make paid-for items into “win buttons”. Also, don’t allow people to buy their way out of quest objectives. Allow players who pay to make quicker progress — perhaps increase their experience gain — or customize their character/city/world to a greater degree, but don’t undermine the game mechanics.

Offer a subscription.

Someone who plays your game regularly will be quite happy to spend a fiver a month to get access to additional features or make quicker progress. Microtransactions can mount up easily without people noticing — good for business, not great for ethics.

Let me fail.

If I fuck something up, give me a consequence. Life isn’t all about happy-happy-joy-joy. Sometimes you get things wrong, in which case I should have some sort of penalty more severe than “wait five minutes and try again”. In city-building games, don’t let me move my buildings. If I built something in the wrong place or planned my city ineffectively, punish me by making me demolish my hard-earned building and spending the time and money to construct it again.

Make the tutorial optional.

Some Facebook gamers need step-by-step help on how to get started. Others have played games — either Facebook or otherwise — before and already know how it works. Offer the opportunity to skip the tutorial — especially if it’s a long and incredibly boring one.

Provide a reference manual.

Perhaps I’ve forgotten what one of your beautifully-designed but obtuse icons does. Perhaps I can’t remember how to do something. Let me look it up.

Let me start again.

Maybe I called my character the wrong thing. Maybe I hate my city and want to build a new one. Let me wipe everything out and start afresh.

Try a different look.

The vector-graphics Farmville look is old hat. Try a different look. This is one of those few instances where it’s actually desirable to have something that’s a bit more dark and gritty than normal. If your Facebook game is based on an established franchise, do try and make it look like other entries in the same franchise. You don’t have to “kiddy it up” for Facebook — grown-ups use Facebook, too.

Ditch game mechanics that don’t belong in a particular genre.

A game about completing wordsearches and crosswords has no place for an experience system. Allow players to unlock new challenges via their progress, not via arbitrarily-issued experience points. Similarly, ditch the Energy system, as it often leads to players being stuck halfway through something and then forgetting what they were doing when they come back to it. If you must control how much people play (and monetize the ability to play more) then find a different way that allows players to complete something before they get locked out.

Provide a meaningful mobile experience.

Create, at the very least, an iPhone and Android-compatible web experience. Ideally, you’d create an app for both iPhone and Android that allows players to participate in your game when they’re on the go. Don’t make a mobile version of your game that has nothing to do with the Facebook version!

Polish your game.

Proofread your text before you release to the public. Spelling mistakes and grammatical errors look unprofessional. Make sure the game works and fix it promptly if it doesn’t. Little details like this can make the difference between a popular game and a laughing-stock.

Have some character.

Games are fun! Stop being so po-faced and get a proper writer to inject a bit of wit into your dialogue. If people are made to smile or even laugh by your game — or even be scared or upset by it — then they’re more likely to return for further emotional experiences. If the whole thing is very businesslike and dull, despite a cartoonish appearance, then it’s not going to hold anyone’s interest.

There we go. Some free advice for any of you developing or considering Facebook game development. As I say, I mention all these things with the caveat that I can’t develop games as I don’t have any programming experience. Many of these games are undoubtedly impressive technical, creative achievements. But for them to be taken more seriously by some parts of the community, changes need to be made — but making those changes will not only please those who feel turned off by Facebook games, it’ll also present additional revenue streams for the developers and publishers in question. Everyone’s a winner.

#oneaday, Day 46: 5 Facebook Games that Aren’t Shit

It’s fair to say that, as a general rule, Facebook games are pretty, well, shit. For the most part, they’re cynical, money-grabbing exercises designed only for bored soccer moms and office drones to while away the hours performing virtual meaningless tasks instead of real-life meaningless tasks. What’s worse is the fact that the real-life meaningless tasks are still there once you’ve clicked on every single field in FarmVille 300 times.

Fortunately, it doesn’t have to be this way. There are a few developers out there who are starting to produce games which have some actual substance to them, even if almost every single one of them insists on including an utterly meaningless, pointless experience point/levelling system. Memo to Facebook game developers: you don’t “need” that to be competitive. Make a game that’s addictive and fun and people will come back of their own volition. You don’t need some arbitrary, meaningless, substanceless “reward” to keep people dangling on your Fish-Hook of +5 Monetization. So stop it.

Anyway. Here’s 5 Facebook games that aren’t shit.

Bejeweled Blitz

The grand-daddy of Facebook Games that Aren’t Shit is surely PopCap’s minute-long masterpiece. Featuring the match-three gameplay of Bejeweled condensed into a frantic, hectic minute of scoring points that is, to be honest, more luck-based than anything else, Blitz is great fun and enormously competitive thanks to the weekly-resetting friend leaderboards. Even better, the mobile versions also work with the Facebook scoreboards, allowing you to challenge friends on the go. Go play!

Zuma Blitz

See above, only you’re playing Zuma instead. You’re still matching groups of three or more colours together, only this time you’re trying not to let them drop down a big hole. Frantic and arguably more skill-based than Bejeweled, this is another good choice for daytime timewasting. Go play!

Asteroids Online

This game combines the structure of obnoxious gameplay-free experiences like Mafia Wars and actually adds some gameplay to it. Offering a wide variety of missions and some surprisingly impressive (for a web game, anyway) polygonal graphics, this is a good, challenging choice for anyone who grew up with the old Atari classics. Go play!

Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?

A fun, educational detective game particularly suitable for younger players. You can use it as a means of testing your geographical knowledge and deductive reasoning, or you can cheat (a bit) and using Google/Wikipedia to help you work things out. Either way, it’s a lot of fun, even if it does have a completely pointless levelling system that I really, genuinely can’t see any reason for whatsoever. Go play!

Robot Unicorn Attack

One of the quintessential two-button platformers out there, Robot Unicorn Attack is always a pleasure to play, largely because of its soundtrack. Now it’s approximately seven thousand times as competitive thanks to Bejeweled-style friend leaderboards. Pity the iPhone version doesn’t sync with these, however. Go play!

Dishonorable Mention: Scrabble

Fuck Facebook Scrabble. Why? Facebook should be the perfect platform for asynchronous wordplay. Well, two reasons: firstly, dumb copyright issues meaning that there are separate Facebook apps for the US/Canada and the rest of the world, meaning that if you have any friends in North America and you yourself are not in North America, you can’t play them. And secondly, the non-American version features some of the most obnoxious, annoying, obtrusive pre-game advertising I’ve ever had the misfortune to see. Stick to Words with Friends on your smartphone. It’s now available for Android, you know.

Honorable Mention: Word Scramble

Basically Boggle, this is a genuinely fun and competitive word game that would be much better if it actually told you when it was your turn. There’s also a decent iPhone version of the game which sadly doesn’t appear to sync with the Facebook version. Go play!